Members telecom69 Posted December 8, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 My gf and I went to the sex therapist\counselor for the first visit yesterday. I was in the room for the entire time, but the visit next week will be just for my gf. It went very well and my gf connected with the therapist very good. The therapist is 70 yrs old and has been doing it for 30 yrs. She looked great for a 70 yr old and looked more like mid-50s. She was very laid back, and picked up on some issues my gf has very fast. Her experience showed. The way she presented questions and solutions was laid back and comfortable. My gf let her know how her mother was dominated by her father, how she hated sex and told my gf that growing up. She let her know that most of her life she has been trying to make others happy and not herself. Her father never showed her much affection and her mother didn't very much either because it made her father jealous and angry. Yes, her dad has a lot of issues! The therapist is focusing on her happiness now and to let go of the issues her mother had with sex, and that her mother would want her to be having good sex with someone she loves and would tell her to "go for it". Her mother passed away about seven yrs ago. My gf said she loves me and that she can't understand why I am with her and thinks I'm temporary until something better comes along for me. The therapist told her do you think your bf would still be her ten months later and paying $150\hr for therpay for you if he wasn't going to stick around? She was very adamant that my gf let go of the idea that my relationship with her is temporary. She went into asking her about masturbating to. My gf quit doing it over a month ago and she doesn’t know why. She said she still feels guilty when she does it. Therapist told her its very important she start to use it again, get in tune with her body, and learn what feels good for her and to bring that to me in the bedroom. Hopefully my gf will start using the vibrator again. I'm not intimidated by any of that. The therapist said their aren't many loving, tender, nice looking, and masculine men around and let my gf know its only fair she work out these issues with the guy (me) how obviously adores her. I was still a little surprised about how little she knows\knew about sex. My gf told the therapist she really didn't know about her clit and that I showed her that for the first time with oral sex and how it felt to her. Therapist told her to take a light and mirror to examine her vagina, but my gf told me after leaving there is no way she will probably do that. Therapist also told us to not to have sex for a couple of week. After we got home in the evening and very cold outside, we made homemade chocolate cookies and enjoyed joking and laughing while making a mess in the kitchen and gorging on cookies before going to bed.In the end, both of us agreed it went better than we expected it to go. I don't know how many sessions I can afford, but will do the best I can. Telecom... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crazy1 Posted December 8, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 I am very glad to hear that it went well. I hope for the best for you both.Crazy1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members curvacious_lust Posted December 8, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 Good! I'm glad you both went! I really hope she will finally decide to do the mirror and light suggestion. Believe me, it helps a lot. Its going to take time, but you are off to a GREAT start!! Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Scout Posted December 26, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 26, 2005 Good! I'm glad you both went! I really hope she will finally decide to do the mirror and light suggestion. Believe me, it helps a lot. Its going to take time, but you are off to a GREAT start!! Congrats!Good for both of you! No, GREAT! for both of you. The therapist was right on...she needs to focus on what she's got right in front of her - not many men would still be there with her and willing to pay for the therapy sessions...hats off to you...I wish you both the very best and continued awakenings and renewals...and lots of fun!Scout Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members telecom69 Posted December 27, 2005 Author Members Report Share Posted December 27, 2005 Good for both of you! No, GREAT! for both of you. The therapist was right on...she needs to focus on what she's got right in front of her - not many men would still be there with her and willing to pay for the therapy sessions...hats off to you...I wish you both the very best and continued awakenings and renewals...and lots of fun!ScoutScout,Thanks for the encouraging words. She went to a second session with the therapist and didn't want to go anymore after that. The therapist was really putting the hard sell on her (and I) for a third "intensive" session with her partner therapist, and she wanted a freaking $700 for a three hour session. We both felt a little uncomfortable with this tactic and are trying go work it out ourselves. I gave my gf a very hard line ultimatum (based on some advice from others on the forum) about a week ago telling her if she can't help herself to help us, I'm leaving. End of story. It was very much to the point! This awoke the shit out of her and how serious I was. She was actually very understanding and didn't do the "feel sorry for me" routine. She did tell me she has finally had a couple of orgasms with her vibrator in private that she didn't tell me about, and is learning what feels good. She said when she feels a little more comfotable, she wants me to use the vibrator on her. I really think most of this is her trust in me and still being here in the future. She is finally telling me how to give her oral sex and where things feel good for her. That is all I have ever asked from her...FEEDBACK. I told her how important her feedback is to me and I appreciate it VERY much she is telling me and that she can trust me. In fact while making love in the missionary postition yesterday, instead of just thrusting in and out, I just went in as far as possible and rode higher on her pubic bone to give her clit more stimulus and moved up and down slowly. She was telling me how to move and then said "right there, perfect..don't stop". I keep teeling her to think about herself and what feels good for her, as she deserves to feel good sexually. This was at my house and my son was expected to come over to visit, but we weren't sure when. She said the added excitment of possibly being caught got her going big time, and I could easily see it did. She was moaning a lot more than I have ever heard her and she was VERY wet, which usually isn't the case. We even left a huge stain on my new $150 comforter. Damn She said this is the first time she has experienced an orgasm while making love with me, and I could feel the contraction in her pussy. I love to eat her pussy to, and she seems to get the best stimulus to the left side of her clit which she finally told me as I explored with my tounge. She is talking more dirty to now and I can tell from her voice is more comfortable with it to. So, from what I can see and learned, she requires A LOT of foreplay to get excited before sex. That is very important. She loves A LOT of kissing, and straddling me with our clothes on and "dry humping" my erection thru my clothes before getting serious gets her going. That is fine with me. While shopping at the mall today and sitting on a bench in public, I got an erection from just thinking about our session yesterady. I placed a shopping bag over my crotch and put her hand on my erection under the bag. She was a little shy and laughing about it, but said that got her excited doing that in public and was fun. Since she is naive and inexperienced about sex, I'm trying to teach her that sex and intimacy is about a lot of things like doing that in public, making sex fun and laughing, intimate, dirty talk, cuddling after sex (no lovers have ever done that with her, even ex husband of 20 yrs), letting me buy her lingerie, innocent flirting with each other, going to bed and NOT having sex sometimes and just talking and holding each other, kissing and caressing, holding hands in public, unexpected kisses anywhere and anytime, respect, feeding each other carrot cake (our favorite), and what ever else makes us feel good. I'm a very intimate and touchy feely person, so I do some of this in public. She isn't used to the displays of public affection from past relationships, but seems to thrive on these now. She tells me often that I'm the only lover she has ever had that cares about her sexual feelings and that she is surprised by my continued support. I know this will take longer still, but this is the most progress I've seen her make in ten months, but I will proceed cautiously and continue to hope for the best. Sorry for long email.Telecom... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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