Help, Please!

[newvixen]

Hi all-

I am really in a pickle here and need some advice so of course I came to you all. Let me start with some important background information. A few years ago Mike had a spell at work and collapsed. He was rushed to the hospital. It was determined that the cause was high blood pressure. Mike was sent home and put on a very low dose of medication. Things for started looking up for him and a HUGE cause of his stress has been removed from his life. Last night while we were relaxing, Mike tells me that he is going to his doctor this week for a check up. He is going to ask the doctor to take him off of his blood pressure medicine. When I asked him why he thought he didn't need it anymore he had no real good reason. So I asked why he didn't want to take it anymore. He then informed me that he felt it was affecting his preformance. I was completely shocked. I told him I was not complaining nor had I ever had any complaints. He satisfies me in every way possible and I am more than pleased with him. He says it's about how he feels and that he feels he is not preforming to his satisfaction. I am not sure what to think on average we make love 2 to 3 times a day. I told him that my main concern is his health. I do not want him going off the medication unless the doctor is 100% sure it is ok for him to do so. I tried to explain to him my concerns but all he can seem to focus on is how many more times he will be able to preform if he isn't taking this medicine. I love him and I don't want anything to happen to him. I've told him this repeatedly. I'm at my wits end trying to get thru to him. He knows how worried and upset I am so he finally conceded to "listen" to someone else's point of view.

So I came here to you all. Am I over reacting? Is there anything else I can try to do to convince him that he doesn't need to do this for me? Cause believe me I know he thinks it is to my benefit more than his. I appreciate any advice you all have otherwise I may soon be bald from pulling all my hair out.

Thanks!

Vix

[Blush]

My late husband was on blood pressure meds that had a negative sexual reaction. We talked to his doctor several times before we hit a combination that worked for us.

But it is possible, go talk to them. AND never just stop taking them, and Viagra is dangerous for heart patients, just a fyi.

Good luck in trying to figure this out together!

[pappyld04]

So you are still in the "honeymoon stage" of your relationship. Good for both of you. 2-3 times a day, GREAT FOR BOTH OF YOU. Stopping the BP meds for no good reason other than he wants to perform more or better is not a worthy excuse. Tell him that thing has a shelf life. He on the other hand does not. Swapping one's general health for your sex life is in no way a trade up for either of you. I really don't gather that he is firing early from your post. I'm sure you'd say something if that were the problem. Is this a serious cutback on your encounters or is this just the male ego in action here? Sorry NV's man but sometimes the male ego isn't overly intelligent on these matters. Even once daily is more than some people will ever get. You are just fine in that area but if you are uncomfortable with some of the side effects of the meds you are on then you may need to tell your doc about this. Just a sidenote here- there are some meds that can cause addictive behaviors such as this. Don't mess up the GREAT thing you have with your SO. If it's not broken don't try fixing it.

[Mikayla1]

Well, I suppose if the 2-3 times a day was something which was 'normal' for him,then to think of doing it less might seem like a bad thing. Sex is great exercise - so having it (unless your doctor tells you otherwise) is a good thing. As for the BP meds, they are more important than sex - and as pointed out, you can experiment with other kinds if you feel the need. I think you are being supportive and loving and I am sure he realizes that.

P.S. Iha, you are funny!

[pappyld04]

Just to be a smartass here. If you die from stopping your meds, she'll probably want to kill you. LOL! Your overall health is MOST IMPORTANT!

[thurisas]

I think the others have made good points. There are other meds out there that can help him, and I think he probably knows that. I wouldn't want to change my lifestyle either and I can understand not wanting to be on the meds. I think, though, that he has to weigh the risks himself and decide what is best for him. If he is waiting for the doctor to go off his medications, that is a good thing. The doctor will likely want to keep him on the blood pressure med for the rest of his life, but there is also a chance the doctor will say "Okay, we'll try taking you off of these, but you'll have to come in every X months to get your pressure checked." and that is also fine. The doctor is going to be your best advocate in this. Continue to show your support for your husband, and also respect what the doctor says as well.

Randy.

[chloegirl]

We have been thru sort of a similar situation with the meds. Several years ago my always healthy husband came down with a really bad case of bronchitis/upper respiratory infection that turned out to be a really nasty viral infection that ended up attacking his heart putting him literally at death's door with only 15% working capacity. It took 2 years of intense treatment and meds, but thank God he has now fully recovered. They still had him on a heavy drug regimen and it definitely affected his perfermance.....almost killed it completely, but after reviewing his recovery they slowly weaned him off a lot of that stuff and reduced the dosage of the few he still has to take and it has made a major improvement in his performance. The important thing is though, that if your hubby needs those meds to stay healthy and alive then that is what is most important and he should not try to doctor himself and just stop. If he's getting it up as much as you say, you are well ahead of the game here, it doesn't sound like he has an impotence problem at this point even though it may start having effects on him as time goes by. Have him follow the docs recommendations for a healthier lifestyle, sometimes diet and exercise can really help alliviate the need for high dosages of meds, but always work with your doctor and best of luck to you both!

[newvixen]

I just wanted to say thank you all so much! You all have been a big help. I printed all of the replies and tonight Mike and I sat down together and went over them together. We are going to go to his next doctor's appointment together so we can have a discussion with the doctor. We are going to talk about possibly changing his medication, although his dose is very low now so I don't think that is the issue. I think it was Tango who said something about the problem sometimes being in the big head and not the little one and I think that is some of what is going on here. After much discussion I've learned that it is not that he is unhappy with what we do or how often just that he wants to do it more. He thinks the medication is slowing him down. However we agreed that if his doctor says he has to stay on the meds he will because as someone else said, if he dies from not taking his meds I will kill him! LOL

So once again, thank you all. You guys are great and I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate everyone's advice and input.

Vix

[nosleepnmesa]

I think that you are doing the best you can. I also understand your SOs point of few, being that I am on numerous medications for BP and a heart condition, along with Thyroid disorder. It is hard for us to accept the fact that we need medication to help us. to be honest though like you said, it isnt effecting your sex life but the way he feels I felt the same way when the doctor told me I needed to take medication for my Bp and numerous other things. There are lots of different BP medications out there. I agree with all the other posters, and I am glad to hear that if the DR says he needs to stay on his medication that he is going to. Tell him I said, "His health is more important!!!"

Take care Best wishes!!

[thurisas]

Poontang has a good point. There are tons of herbs and foods out there that can lower your blood pressure. My only suggestion to that is to talk to a pharmacist to make sure something you're taking isn't going to react with medications you're already on or other disease states you might already have.

Randy.

[triedntru]

Poontang, even those numbers are higher than they should be. Please be careful with your blood pressure. I have seen what it can do if you don't. there is definitely a reason hypertension is called the "silent killer". Not wanting to lecture, but please be careful. I definitely don't want anything happening to you.

[newvixen]

Since everyone has been so helpful, I wanted to update you all. Yesterday Mike and I went to the doctor. He didn't think I was serious when i said I was going in with him but her found out differently. He talked to the doctor about taking him off of his medicine for his blood pressure. The doctor asked why and Mike explained it to him. Hec he even sounded somewhat convincing to me so I was concerned how the doctor would take it. Luckily the doctor then asked me some questions. After hearing my answers about the frequency and my satisfaction with our sex lives he rolled his stool over next to Mike's chair and preceeded to, um gently, smack him in the side of the head. Now I should tell you Mike and his doctor are very good friends. He then told Mike he is on the lowest dosage there is and the effect it has should be minimal. Unfortunately for poor Mike's ego he then preceeded to remind him he is now 49 years old and his body is slowing down some. He also reminded him that the biggest issue is that I am happy and pleased which obviously I am. He also reminded him how unhappy I would be if Mike didn't take his medicine and checked out on me. Hmmmm seems to me like his advice was very similiar to advice given to me by the group here and I didn't have a co-pay for it. LOL

The doctor did tell him that he will monitor his blood pressure for 60 days and if it continues to do well they will talk about other options such as herbal medicines. So again thank you all for the great advice!

Vix