First Time

[mailahn97]

Well we had been talking about trying anal for a little while now. Well Wednesday night we had decided to try. He had me very aroused and we had been making love a playing around for quite a while. He first used his fingers and had no problem, but then when he went to insert himself it hurt and bad. He is great and backed right off. He said if it works great...if not we have other things that we can do. We went back to messing around and such.

He then decided to put a vibe in my pussy and got another toy we had purchased out and tried that. We had purchased vibrating anal beads. He was able to insert that quite far. There was a little discomfort but not so much pain. I did have a little bit of bleeding including the next morning. Is this normal?

He has already told me that if I don't want to do it anymore he would understand that it is toally up to me. I do want to try it. I have read the articles and various posts on the topic and have seen that some people say that it takes time. I am hoping that is the case, because I did enjoy it a lot when the toy was in there. I am guessing only time will tell.

I did make sure I was relaxed and very aroused are there any other suggestions. I noticed if I thought about it some and took some deep breaths I was more relaxed as well. We did use plenty of lube so that is not a problem.

I am proud for even trying as the previous guy I was with which was the only guy I was every with was a once position man and had very low sex drive. Now it is the total opposite. Now it is a man with a very high sex drive and love the positions he has shown me as well as the patience with it all. I am 33 and now loving sex so much more than I used to.

[Amylynn920]

It does take time and a little bleeding can happen. You need alot of lube, a real lot. And the more aroused you are the better, but how about if you take control and decide rate and depth of penetration? With us it just too relaxing and alot of lube. We were both ready for it. Now it;s just something we do without thinking when we do it.

But make sure you use alot of lube. Don't depend on your own lubrication to be enough good luck to ya.

[mailahn97]

We did use lots of lube. I am just thinking possibly the girth was the problem with having him inside of me. The toy wasn't so bad at first it was a little trouble but then as he moved it around it got easier. I am just thinking I will just have to work up to having him inside of me. I was definately very aroused so I am doubting that is the problem. I had already had several o's.

I am looking forward to trying it again when he feels better. He is down for that count with a really bad sinus infection now to the point he has been dizzy and lightheaded for the last 2 days.

[Mikayla1]

You indicated that you have read my article on Anal. That is a great start. To highlight some of the main points:

(1) Be relaxed. Tight anal muscles = no insertion

(2) LOTS of lube - when you think it is enough, add more. LUBE = Slickery insertion

(3) GO SLOW and start SMALL. Fingers then small toy then larger toy then penis.

(4) BE AROUSED. Arousal = relaxation

(5) Take control. Either backing up onto his cock, or sitting down onto it, makes YOU feel more comfortable, cause you have the control. Try to use a toy on yourself during sex.

(6) Pain = Stop. There should NOT be PAIN, but there may be discomfort. Keep going slowly, and take your time. Remember, anal canal is normally exit only, so going up takes time to adjust too.

Have fun. Anal sex is NOT for everyone - some women (or men) can not relax enough. IF it doesn't work, there are many other things to do!

[elise]

We did use lots of lube. I am just thinking possibly the girth was the problem with having him inside of me. The toy wasn't so bad at first it was a little trouble but then as he moved it around it got easier. I am just thinking I will just have to work up to having him inside of me. I was definately very aroused so I am doubting that is the problem. I had already had several o's.

Yes, well girth is exactly the problem... but it's also what leads to the payoff! My man is blessed with a lot of girth, and I wouldn't want it any other way!

It's sensible to gradually work up to bigger objects over time. Try using anal toys on your own when you masturbate... it'll help you figure out how to respond without having the distraction of a partner, so when you and your man do get down & dirty, you'll be better prepared. Having a set of small-medium-to-large buttplugs helps, as you can gradually increase the girth of the toys--even in a single session, if you like--and they stay in place really well while your (or his) hands (or mouth, or cock) are busy in other pleasure areas.

Also, there's a few techniques that can help you accommodate your man's cock more easily. First, lots of lube on the outside doesn't necessarily mean there's enough lube inside your anus and rectum. Try filling a contraceptive foam or similar applicator with Astroglide and applying that inside your ass, you'll be surprised by how much more easily his cock can slide all the way up inside you. Also, when you feel his cock starting to stretch your anus, take a deep breath and bear down, as if you're trying to have a bowel movement (you won't). This causes the anal sphincter and pelvic floor to relax, so being stretched by all that girth will be much easier.

[mailahn97]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I will definately put it to work. It gave me a lot of food for thought. I definately enjoyed when the toy was inside so I am definately looking forward to working my way up to having him inside of me as well.

[MsLiz]

Yippee! My package of Too Timid purchases arrived today. It is all I can do to keep from ripping it open to check out all the goodies. I feel like a kid at Christmas, waiting for my Sweetie to arrive so we can open it together. What fun! It is packed full of my first anal toys, vibrators and lubes to try. I would like to thank everyone here in the community for all the wonderful educational advice, as well as describing your personal experiences (& questions), because I am naturally a tad nervous. This is a long awaited new sexual adventure for me. Luckily my Sweetie has prior experience, so it’s not two virgins attempting this, which calms my nerves a bit. My Sweetie’s excitement about moving to this dimension in our sexual experience has built MY excitement!

The thing calming my mind the most though is all the wonderful information on Anal Avenue which give me the courage to face my doubts to give this a try. Thanks for being here for me! This is a great site.

[Amylynn920]

Yippee! My package of Too Timid purchases arrived today. It is all I can do to keep from ripping it open to check out all the goodies. I feel like a kid at Christmas, waiting for my Sweetie to arrive so we can open it together. What fun! It is packed full of my first anal toys, vibrators and lubes to try. I would like to thank everyone here in the community for all the wonderful educational advice, as well as describing your personal experiences (& questions), because I am naturally a tad nervous. This is a long awaited new sexual adventure for me. Luckily my Sweetie has prior experience, so it’s not two virgins attempting this, which calms my nerves a bit. My Sweetie’s excitement about moving to this dimension in our sexual experience has built MY excitement!

The thing calming my mind the most though is all the wonderful information on Anal Avenue which give me the courage to face my doubts to give this a try. Thanks for being here for me! This is a great site.

That's awesome and I'm glad we helped. Have fun, relax, lots and lots of lube and the rest will follow.

[Tyger]

I hope everything goes pleasurably well for the both of you!!!

[nosleepnmesa]

I am always glad to hear that people are trying new things. Just as Mikayla has said very well, LOTS of lube, relax, breath, take control and try the toys first. Keep us updated I hope that everything goes well.

[ButterflyBetty]

My hubby and I have also just started experamenting with anal. thanks for all the tips:)

[pappyld04]

One thing I picked up on in my younger years was using a finger in her ass while giving oral and even while in missionary and doggystyle positions. I always slid it in slowly using her juices to lube with and once it was fully inside I would leave it while enjoying her tastes and responses. Once the juices were flowing down to her anus I would start with side-to-side and up-down motions with only the fingertip. After noting positive responses I would slowly start to give in-out motion until she was comfortable with a medium pace and would insert one or more fingers into her vagina for stimulation and for lubrication. If she seemed comfy I would start removing 1 finger from her vagina to add to her ass. Some girls can't take a lot but some girls can sure handle 3 in anus and 1 in vagina and never flinch. This technique has gotten many girls to beg to try anal. If you only give her an inch or so at a time and remain still until she says you can proceed with another inch. You will ease her fears of those butt-punching idiots that are out there. Another good position for new ones is on your back in the missionary position. Some girls find it easier to do this way.

[angelkisses98]

my hubby is also a pretty big guy. we started slow, first a finger, then 2, small toy, a bigger toy, then my hubby. and what everyone else says LUBE LUBE LUBE!!

[angelkisses98]

my hubby is also a pretty big guy. we started slow, first a finger, then 2, small toy, a bigger toy, then my hubby. and what everyone else says LUBE LUBE LUBE!!

[mailahn97]

I agree that lots of lube and also relaxing are the keys to it. My SO and I have been working on this for a little bit now...well I am happy to report last night that I was able to take him in completely and without pain. I was so worried about everything before that I was getting no where. Last night I just relaxed and enjoyed. By doing this it was rather easy to do and needless to say I LOVE IT.