Members Sailor Girl Posted April 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hey everyone. I have a few questions about this whole tying up thing. My boyfriend and I have been joking around about tying me up. Some of you know that i've had issues with guys in the past, but I know he would never hurt me. I'm just curious what the deal with the safe word is. I mean, if you're uncomfortable, can't you just say insert name, stop and he will? I just thinkin the middle of legs spread pounding hard, hering oh baby toaster! I'm not laughing at the idea of the safe word, only the word I chose as an example. I also think it's an example of someone's forgive me I didn't mean to make fun of something you enjoy. Thanks for reading, and I'll be sure to post when I get done being tied up. He's spanked my butt lightly a little bit, and if I nudge him he nudges back. I'm done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanilla_bean Posted April 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 Well with a safe word there is no mistake. It' not part of the role you're playing. And it's only one word so it's quick. (By the way Sailor Girl, I always look forward to your posts. You're very frank and adorable). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted April 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 as soon as i read the question about the safe word, the same exact thing came to mind as to what vanilla said. my hubby and i are just really starting out with this as well. the only advise i can give you is what has worked for us. talk about things BEFORE you take them into the bedroom. you know, what you might like, what you do not like ect. start slow...i still havent gotten my hubby to do exactly what i want, but he is slowly getting there. and be direct and honest. when you are finished, talk about it again. again, what you liked, what you dident ect. i hope this helps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted April 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 Sailor Girl one recomendation....you should choose a word that would be totally out of contex, therefore, there could be not misinturpritation. Communication is so important in and out of the bedroom. Have fun!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToyQueen Posted April 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 A safe word is used because sometimes saying "No" is not taken for no---it is part of the role play, and your partner needs a word that means "NO!!!!!!!!!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 A safe word is one that is used in DOM/SUB situations where there may be some question if the person being the sub (who, BTW, has all the control) is really sincere. Saying "No Master" or even no, may mean you're unsure. But, if you call out the safe word, which should be something totally off the wall and out of place in sex play, like OKLAHOMA, or PEANUTBUTTER, or BALLOONS, something that will definitely catch their attention when said. And, it should be agreed upon BEFORE any play takes place, so that there's no confusion. Sex is all about adult play, meaning it should be fun for everyone involved. A safe word just ensures that everyone's on the same pleasure page. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sailor Girl Posted April 24, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 Hi everyone Vanilla bean, I' adorable, thanks grin. I just want to be open and honest and not my clit lickin' person you know? I knew that the word no might not be taken as no, I guess didn't think that if I said stop, then stop might be heard as stop. Thanks for answering my question, I'm sure i'll have more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted April 25, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 We talked a bit about safe words last night. My husband is a nipper and a biter. Not to draw blood but it can get very painful at times when he is aroused so we discussed safe words. I suggested "popsicle" he cracked up since we both like them. We are moving into a bit of bondage play, slowly, and I NEED a safe word too. So I'm watching this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 25, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 Part of the allure for some subs is to act like they do not want to do certain things. Crying no or stop while the partner just keeps going is a frequent thing. A safeword makes certain that your partner stops everything immediately and noone is taken out of their comfort zones. A hand signal is also a good thing to work out with this since some people like to use gags during these sessions also. SAFETY is the most important thing here. Have fun but be sure you are able to play again should you find yourself enjoying it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sailor Girl Posted April 25, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 Hey. Umm hand signal to a blink means nothing, dude. Lol. Maybe i'll touch my nose or something, thanks for the tip. Laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sailor Girl Posted April 25, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 Hey. Umm hand signal to a blink means nothing, dude. Lol. Maybe i'll touch my nose or something, thanks for the tip. Laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 25, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 25, 2008 SORRY! My head was at the other end of my anatomy! Perhaps a pinch would get his attention! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted April 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2008 Congratulations on thinking about stepping into unfamiliar territory! Any new experience can be a little scary, but as long as you and your mate work together and keep the communication flowing freely, you'll be fine, even if you find the experience wasn't for you (or him).A while back I wrote a review for the Tie the Knot Restraint Kit. It tells a little about our experiences entering light bondage. Baby steps and communication are key. If neither of you is enjoying it for some reason, stop. Unless it's a horrible experience, keep open to trying it again -- sometimes the first time was just blah because of being nervous or something like that.The link to that review, if you are interested in reading it, is: http://forums.tootimid.com/index.php?showtopic=3008.Like it's been said by others, a pre-arranged safe word is just a way your partner (or you, if said by them) KNOWS you want to stop immediately, no fooling, joking or role-playing around, you mean it then and there. More than likely, you'll never have to use the word, if you're with someone you trust completely. Hopefully they will be someone who will ask along the way if you like or dislike something, "testing the waters" slowly, so to speak, to make sure you're both comfortable. But the key is having the safe word JUST IN CASE.I hope you have a good experience and find something new for the two of you to do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 http://collaredncuffed.com/Domination.aspx - This link is to a basic beginner site I found a few days ago. Though this page is more about the dom side I'm sure there is a sub page also. Hope this helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bobbyt Posted May 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 My wife and I love tieing each other up. At first we took it easy using nylon stockings or silk scarves. Nylon is still the favorite. Just like mentioned in the other posts take it slow,communicate,and be gentle, at least in the beginning. Add a blindfold to heighten senses. Being tied up and not being able to see is a huge turn on for myself and the misses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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