A Question For The Guys

[hollybw]

Okay, maybe this has been brought up here before - I didn't look.

I just have to ask the guys: Why do men whistle, blow the horn, or holler out at women rather than just talk to us??!

This seems to happen to me at least once a week, happened again today - at the gas station, this guy whistled, and when I didn't turn around, he actually blew his horn at me as I walked right beside his car (startled the SHIT out of me!), looked at me, backed out, and drove away. I live in relatively small town in the south, the population is only about 40,000. Everyone knows everyone here, especially in the part of town we live in. Therefore, I usually turn to look, like a dumbass, because sometimes it is someone I know, and I don't want to be rude.

I find it so obnoxious - even if its meant to be a compliment (sort of) - and it doesn't get you anywhere! It's like, "hey, you could have been the love of my life, but we'll never know now, will we?" Of course, I'm happily married, but that is what these incidences always made me think in my head.

Is this just an insecurity thing for men, or do you guys (who do this) really think we appreciate it?

Please clue me in...

[pappyld04]

I only do that to girls that I know. With other women that I don't know it's a smile or a wave or maybe even both if I happen to be in one of my good moods. Personally I appreciate those guys for getting themselves extricated from the gene pool. Between Budwieser and these fellas I might just get laid one day! LOL!

[thurisas]

I've never been the whistle and honk kind of guy, but then I'm outlandishly shy too. I think much of it has to do with showing off plumage, personally.

(Documentary Voice)

Notice how the male tries to capture the attention of the female he finds attractive. He starts with a whistle. In this case, the female has ignored the call. Not to be deterred the male honks his horn to bring attention to the fact that he has enough credit to buy or lease a car. Still unimpressed, the female moves away from the scene in a slightly irritated manner.

(End Documentary Voice)

Randy.

[pappyld04]

Dam Randy I missed that show! Sounds like a good one!

[hollybw]

All 3 of you are hilarious!

Glad to know ya'll don't do this, though.

Maybe I am just surrounded by rednecks...

[pappyld04]

All 3 of you are hilarious!

Glad to know ya'll don't do this, though.

Maybe I am just surrounded by rednecks...

Isn't Hollywood full of actors and waiters/wannabe's!

[mystofpric]

Ugh i know what you mean. I used to walk home after high school and until recently I never use dto be a big smiler. I smiled when I was happy and when you got one from me you knew I meant it. Howvere I used to get guys calling at me to smile, "your too hot to frown" crap like that, or the classic "damn girl!" ugh it makes my skin crawl. Normally i just avert the eyes and ignore.I think it's a movie thing, cause there it always works. Reality check, if you really want to get in my pants, try (crazy thought) introducing yourself rather then yelling from your speeding car!

[pappyld04]

I was once called a pervert by a girl because I held the door open for her and only said hello.

[mystofpric]

I was once called a pervert by a girl because I held the door open for her and only said hello.

Oh hell no in today's society thats pretty much dinner and a movie. You shoulda got laid.

[pappyld04]

She wasn't my type! And much too young! I guessed her about 17.

[mystofpric]

She wasn't my type! And much too young! I guessed her about 17.

Okay well, still, I'm just saying chivalery is near extinct so that would have been my reaction. Then again, give her time, she'll realize just how amazing that was.

[pappyld04]

I just figured that she's met some of the same people that brought this post about!

[pappyld04]

Those were called manners when we were growing up! Maybe the label changed with the generations, cause I rarely see it with many now!

[mystofpric]

yeah I don't understand that! I've gotten stuck holding the door for like 1/2 an hour for people all because ethere was a woman with a stroller and people just kept taking advantage of that. Personally a little please and thank you will go a long long damn way.

[pappyld04]

I had never thought it inconsiderate for a woman to let a door fly back at people until an older lady set me straight on that one. Her and her friend were a few feet ahead of me and talking when she let it go and rather than drop what I had in hand I just caught it with my boot which made a pretty loud thud. I've had it happen enough that I was already turning to shove through it with my shoulder when she stopped and began apologizing profusely. When I told her that I had never expected a lady to hold a door for me she set me straight. Just one of those random events that make us a better person I guess!

[ToyQueen]

Some of us guys that think chivalry should still rule are looked on as showing off as opposed to being gentlemanly and polite...If you go to 'dating and relationships" scroll down to 'A kick to the curb" and read some of the post there by women you will see pretty quickly why it is almost extinct...it is not appreciated by 'today's woman'!

Well, Poon, maybe I'm still part of the "older generation", but I still think it is polite to hold doors for women and older people. I am raising my teenage son to open doors. I appreciate it, and hope it never ends!!!

[Amylynn920]

I was once called a pervert by a girl because I held the door open for her and only said hello.

That's disgusting, I'm ashamed a woman would feel that way.

[mystofpric]

Some of us guys that think chivalry should still rule are looked on as showing off as opposed to being gentlemanly and polite...If you go to 'dating and relationships" scroll down to 'A kick to the curb" and read some of the post there by women you will see pretty quickly why it is almost extinct...it is not appreciated by 'today's woman'!

Hang on, I don't think it's a matter of not being appericated, because I didn't hear anyone in there saying that. I heard a lot of "I work and make my own money please respect that" stort of stuff. My ex paid for EVERYTHING even if it was my idea or something that we were running out because i needed. Awesome at first and then i started to feel a little helpless and dependent. You want to pay? Sure, but if I ask you please respect me enough to let me pay. I love a guy who will open doors for me, But if I hit the door first, I'm not going to stand and wait for you, I'm gonna the door for you. I think it's more like 'today's woman' wants a peice of the chivalry action. We want to show you that we respect and appericate you as a person. That's all. However, a lot of YOUNGER (as in guys my age and younger) think that this is a joke. Women are to be treated only in such as way as it will get them what they want and then forget it the honeymoon period is over and we have to keep putting out for crap-tatsic behavior. Yes this is a GROSS generalization, but i think most guys here and women will agree that they have met this type of person and it's getting more previlent. For that matter I hate women who believe that they are "princesses" and that the rest of us are simply there to serve them. Some times i just watch to slap a bitch. Ugh Okay enough ranting, sorry.

[square]

There is some justice in the world, though this was for a couple of steps beyond whistling and hooting.

This was in the news probably close to 20 years ago. A pick-up truck passenger opened and hung out the door to slap a woman jogger on the butt as the truck drove by. He slipped and fell out, got run over by the back wheels and killed. R.I.P.

[thurisas]

Showing off = only opening doors for pretty women.

Being polite = opening the door for the person behind you regardless of sex, age, etc.

I'm polite and I too have stood for a few minutes playing doorman.

It is true, though, that SOME women just don't appreciate the politeness any more. I've been on the business end of a glare from a woman who happened to be behind me before when I held the door. My thought to that is "You must live a truly miserable existence to be upset by a simple act of kindness." and I let it go.

Randy.

[mystofpric]

I'm lucky to live in a pace where most of us are still 'polite', cause I open the door for a bunch of ugly assed men almost every day and they do the same for ME.

Thats too funny. I guess i missed that post Poon. Sorrry. But I did mention that there are women out there for just expect that kind of behavior and degrade everything that walks (including and especially other women). I'm sorry that you had to meet people like that. Me? I love opening doors for people and it makes me smile when someone does it for me!

[chloegirl]

I guess there may actually be at least one advantage to living in the south....most people are at least a little polite. Around here most people be it male or female will hold open a door or smile and say "hi" if you make eye contact in passing.....People who go out in public and don't show at least the most basic courtesy make me sick! And isn't it sad that we've come to a point where chivalry is so rare that you consider your basic acts of courtesy are all pick-up ploys?

[pappyld04]

There is some justice in the world, though this was for a couple of steps beyond whistling and hooting.

This was in the news probably close to 20 years ago. A pick-up truck passenger opened and hung out the door to slap a woman jogger on the butt as the truck drove by. He slipped and fell out, got run over by the back wheels and killed. R.I.P.

The gene pool was strengthened by his efforts! LOL!

[pappyld04]

Different people see this in different ways. Some a pick-up ploy, being polite, pervert trying to look at my ass when I pass by, etc... It is actually a great way to meet people that you may not have otherwise. And there have been many times when someone has come up behind me and more or less relieved me of my post in a long line. And I've seen the whole line of people stop to allow me to enter.

[synirr]

Hang on, I don't think it's a matter of not being appericated, because I didn't hear anyone in there saying that.

This is what I was referring to....

"in my experience, guys have just been trying to show off when they pay for things for me. I don't care if you have money or not, and I don't 'appreciate' a show-off either."

Who says we are showing off??? This 'attitude' seems to be the rule rather than the exception so again, yes chivalry has almost died along the way.

Hey now, no fair, that's taken out of context! No wonder Suzy "missed" it.

The entirety of that point was:

Sometimes it's ok and I can tell he's just trying to be nice and treat me (which is fine, as long as he's not opposed to me treating him sometimes too... I like to do that as well!) but more often than not, in my experience, guys have just been trying to show off when they pay for things for me. I don't care if you have money or not, and I don't appreciate a show-off either.

So yes, SuzyP is absolutely right, I want in on the chivalry too.... and just because a guy pays for your meals does not automatically mean he is being chivalrous. That's the issue you seem to be overlooking. Faux chivalry is what is unimpressive, GENUINE care and respect is always appreciated... but in my case, respect means letting me pay sometimes too.

It wasn't very chivalrous to misrepresent what I wrote in order to prove your point... hopefully you didn't do that on purpose and it was just a misunderstanding.