Members Beavis Posted June 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 How do I find new ladies to talk to when I'm scared to approach ramdom women? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted June 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 Face your fears young man! The worst they could say is no! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted June 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 Be brave and be persistent. I've known Val for 20 years and when I first met her I'd never have thought I'd have a chance with her. She seemed so out of my league and I never acted upon the feelings i had. After getting back from basic training I was much more confident and I just said "screw it" and decided to see how things would pan out if I pursued her. A few weeks later we were dating, less than a year later engaged, and a couple years later married. The kicker is she said she always had those feelings for me too. I could have had the woman of my dreams much earlier if only I'd had the confidence to open my mouth.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted June 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 As I grow older and look back upon things I realize that I have walked in your shoes, as have many other men! It may take a bit to boost your confidence but I promise it's worth it! Even if you just begin by saying hello to strangers in the street you will notice that it just gets easier with time and practice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted June 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 How do I find new ladies to talk to when I'm scared to approach ramdom women?My Husband was the SHYEST guy ever! Somehow he got his nerve up to talk to me. I would never have perused him because he is a few years younger than me and at the time he was 18, I was 21. He just talked to me and really listened. He seemed really interested in knowing all about me. After our first date (17 years ago!) I knew I was in love with him! Just be a good friend It will start from there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted June 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 My Husband was the SHYEST guy ever! Somehow he got his nerve up to talk to me. I would never have perused him because he is a few years younger than me and at the time he was 18, I was 21. He just talked to me and really listened. He seemed really interested in knowing all about me. After our first date (17 years ago!) I knew I was in love with him! Just be a good friend It will start from there!Damn sunflower! I was going to say that! (okay well not the story about how you me your DH, but the moral) Listen to sunflower. IF you are cheering for the same team or ordering the same beer, strike up a convo you already have something in common! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted June 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 How do I find new ladies to talk to when I'm scared to approach ramdom women?I have the same trouble at my age! I try to do things that i like...be places I like to be, for example, the bookstore. I love bookstores. I assume that everyone there loves books, so we automatically have one thing in common. Then I look at others in the area I am looking at. These people like what I like..so i feel even closer to them and it's a bit easier to strike up that conversation when you feel you already have a rapport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beavis Posted June 16, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 I'm just scared that I'm going to get slapped, pepper sprayed or have the cops called on me. I guess I'm going to have to wait till I'm 21 so I can strike up the bars and sports bars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whitefang2002 Posted June 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 You shouldn't have to wait till you are 21 to meet people in bars.......sometimes bars are the worst place to meet people.........not saying that you can't find a good one in there......should look in other places too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted June 16, 2008 Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 Darlin', so long as you approach a girl with a bit of respect, and not try to act like a "playa", you should be fine. The worst they can do is say "I don't think so". But youhave to put yourself out there to find people. Most of my significant others from the past were NOT found in bars or clubs. I met guys at bowling allies, the skating rink, in the park, at work, at the Mall, or whatever. I had this one relationship, when I was much younger, that I had seen this guy, and as we were leaving, I said to him "hey shorty". He was over 6' at the time. We dated seriously for almost 2 yrs! When I was 28, I had to get some rotors for my car, went to the parts store, and the manager there looked to be my age (he was only 3 mos older than I, come to find out), and I wrote my number on the back of my business card, and told him that if he was single, give me a call. Know what? He did!!Just be yourself, try to open up. The more you just approach people, the more confidence you will get. And, please believe me, girls feel the same nervousness that you do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted June 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 When you see one you're interested in just ask a general question or make a silly comment just to get on the page. If she works or hangs out somewhere on a regular basis make it a point to run into her often and just have a quick little rapport going....after a few times of that it'll just be natural to progress to longer conversations and hopefully a hook up! Having a good sense of humor and not being too intense or serious will get you in the gate. Most women love a man with a good sense of humor. Don't be shy and don't worry about it, just do it! Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beavis Posted June 16, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 I look in other places but the most I can get to any more(gas and time set me back) is the grocery store, a target, a walmart and a book/music store. First off I have lived in the same house for 19 years and the ladies who shop at the book/music store are slim pickings. I'm not saying that all book/music stores have slim pickings just this one due to it's nature. I'm not a reader so I rarely go into book stores. I know everybody at the grocery stores so I know who is interested and that would be none. I haven't gone to target in a few months so idk. It's hard when you know most people in the area and I need to boost my confidence, idk how though. I honestly want to get out there and start meeting new ladies but I need a boost/jumpstart. I think it would be best if I took care of something first though because it's going to affect me and how I approach women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members synirr Posted June 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 This is going to sound silly, but... ever worked in retail?I used to be painfully, painfully shy. I still am, to a degree. However, about two years ago I started working in a tropical fish store. My job is to sell people fish, tell them how to keep those fish alive, troubleshoot and provide advice on existing aquariums, etc. This job requires a LOT of talking to people, most of whom are complete strangers. The job is a HUGE part of how I overcame being so socially awkward around people I don't know well, and I've actually met several people through it as well, including the guy I'm currently seeing. It forced me to come out of my shell. I never would have had the guts to ask that guy out if I hadn't had so much practice talking to people at work.Something like that would be the quickest way to go about it, but apart from that, you're just going to have to force yourself to talk to people. It really is the only way. Practice striking up conversations with strangers... to begin with, I would go for folks you don't find physically attractive, that way there's not that added anxiety. Build up your confidence through positive encounters, and go from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beavis Posted June 16, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 My sense of humor is like Beavis and Butthead. I have tried changing it but haven't had much luck, so I'm not going to.Sorry but nothing can ever get me to work retail. I hate being cooped up inside for several hours, which is why I'm a landscaper. I would use my job to help me but I work in the big city and over 65% of the women I encounter on the streets are edgey, and I'm not allowed to date my customers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted June 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 Korn, try yahoo chat rooms. I met my husband in a chat room. It was nice just being able to talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted June 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 I met my SO on Craigslist.....I know it sounds strange. We talked for close to a month before we met for diinner and a movie. We ahve been together almost 6 months. You can find someone in the strangest places....or when you least expect it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted June 16, 2008 Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 OK, so you have a good job, but limited finances, which is, well, everyone that I know! LOL Retail DOES help open your eyes up to being more social, but if that's not something you want to do, don't do it. If you like your job you have now, then stick with that. Can you date your customers AFTER the job's complete? What about customer's daughters? After all, THEY'RE not the ones paying you, but you'd hafta check with your boss to make sure that's OK.Please don't get me wrong, but just GOING to stores won't help. Yes, you go outside your home, but if you don't start talking to people on your own, then what's the point? And, every girl you talk to doesn't have to have an end result of a date. Just conversing with someone can help open up the shy door a bit. If you don't like to read, then going to a bookstore is an obvious ploy to try to pick up women, and to those of us that DO like to read, we can spot you a mile away, and usually ignore guys/gals like that. Go to places that you know you have interests in. Just some suggestions, since I have no clue what your interests are:if you like comics/collectables, go hang out at a hobby shop/comic book shop. If you like cars, go to some car shows. If you have a dog, take it for a walk. Girls love dogs (usually). These are just ideas to start you off. To find a girl that has some similar interests, you have to exercise yours. I'm not sure about what you meant by "I need to take care of one thing first". But, if you don't feel confident, and that will help, by all means, take care of it. But, until you stop making excuses and GET OUT there, then nothing will happen, sweetie.You really don't hafta wait until you're 21 to go out and find women. Though, I met my hubby at a bar, it's not overly common to find good, quality relationships there. People are there to party, hook up for one nighters, or let off some steam. Not everyone there is there for a true relationship. Not saying it can't happen, but you just hafta be careful that it's the GIRL you're interested in (if that's what you're looking for), and not the booze going to your head (the southern one).Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beavis Posted June 17, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 I'm going to try chat rooms. No I can't date my customers or their daughters because we can't have something happen and then both work and love life collide. If my boss drops the customer I might get dumped or become hated. Or if I dump a girl who is a customer she might take it out on the company. What I meen is need to get laid so I'm not thinking with my dick. I know I'm making excuses and it's not going to get me any where. I just need to be ballsy and just go find someone. I know another excuse but I will go this weekend when I have more time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanilla_bean Posted June 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 Take a class. You will almost certainly meet people and you'll also learn something. Join a co-ed team if you like any kind of sport at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beavis Posted June 18, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 No friends with sisters. No single friends interested in me. Thanks Cockney thats a great convo topic. Compliments got it. and take interest in what they like as always ok. Thank you. That is the stuff I was looking for.My interests are video games, golf, fishing, heavy music. Can't take up volentering, a sport team, a club not enough time left in my schedule.75% of the females in my college classes are usaully taken. But Cockney gave me some great advice and now I think I am more perpared and ready to go.Thank you everybody for your help. The rest is up to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members synirr Posted June 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 OKCupid.com? It's actually a pretty cool site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eminatic Posted June 19, 2008 Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 i dont know about other girls, but i'd sure wish more guys would approach me. i know me and alot of other girls may like a guy but we would never make the first move because its "the guy's job" (go ahead and call me old fashioned) i always hear guys complaining that the good girls are always dating jerks and thus like to be treated like crap. i think the truth is that a large majority of girls want the guy to approach THEM first, and the only ones that have the balls to do it are usually jerks, thus they end up dating jerks since no one else will approach them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted June 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 i dont know about other girls, but i'd sure wish more guys would approach me. i know me and alot of other girls may like a guy but we would never make the first move because its "the guy's job" (go ahead and call me old fashioned) i always hear guys complaining that the good girls are always dating jerks and thus like to be treated like crap. i think the truth is that a large majority of girls want the guy to approach THEM first, and the only ones that have the balls to do it are usually jerks, thus they end up dating jerks since no one else will approach them. Well said Em! Korn you just have to go for it you may nt be able to go to bars, but what abut coffee shops? or concerts and stuff like that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanilla_bean Posted June 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 My interests are video games, golf, fishing, heavy music. Can't take up volentering, a sport team, a club not enough time left in my schedule. Golfing - really!? that might be the ticket. I know a girl who's always looking for someone to golf with but finds that so many guys are too competitive and not that much fun to golf with.BTW, it probably goes without saying, but be yourself. There's nothing worse than being approached by that hey-baby-what's-your-sign, finger-guns kinda guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted June 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 75% of the females in my college classes are usaully taken. But Cockney gave me some great advice and now I think I am more perpared and ready to go.Thank you everybody for your help. The rest is up to me. That still leaves 25%!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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