Update, If Anyone Wants To See.

[Beunolas]

The short version: Realized I still love girl that broke up with me in april. She's with a guy who's trying to cheat on her with another of my exes. He met both of them on facebook. The ex he's trying to get with knows he's a creeper, but the girl I want to be with has no idea what's going on. Do I tell her he's trying to cheat on her?

Long version: I broke up with the summer fling girl mutually. No sticky situation, no backlash. We're now at point one, again. So, here's what I've done so far.

Decided to be friends with my ex

Went out with ex

Ex asked how I felt about her still

I told ex how I felt about her.

She thinks we ought to be friends, see how that goes.

Go out with ex again.

Cuddle with ex. She say's it's different cuddling with me, and that she doesn't get touched enough or enough feeling out of the other guy. She says to not read into it. She blames this on the fact that she'd been off her prozac for 4 days.

Meet with ex that night again. She asks if I'm jealous of her boyfriend. I say of course.

Meet with ex today for coffee. Decide to start asking how she feels about me. She says she just thinks of me as a friend right now. She says she missed the fact that I'm always there for her, that I always want to be with her, that she never felt lonely with me. But she's still with the asshole. I tell her I'm going to talk to him, because he's being a creeper to my other ex. She says to not get too much hope over us getting back together. I ask what reason is there for us to not. She has no answer to that, only that she just doesn't feel like it right now.

What the hell do I do? I'm very confused. I really would like to be back with her, because, as I said, I love her very much. I just don't get it. I've decided I do need to talk to her boyfriend and tell him to leave my other ex alone. I'm thinking of telling the girl I want to get with again what he's doing. Should I? Is this tactful?

Thank you everyone for looking.

[Tyger]

No offense to your current interest, but, if she's cuddling around with you, and still with the "asshole", doesn't that make HER a "creeper" too? I mean, in a true relationship, there has to be trust & respect. Do you honestly think you could trust her if, on the offbeat chance, you did get back together with her? Do you think that she'd do the same thing with the other guy that she's doing now? Do you think she's respecting him by doing this, and respecting or caring about YOU? If she just wants to be friends, and knows how you feel, she really should be trying to back off a bit, to give you a direct message, and let you move on. She's not trying to help you out, she's being selfish by her actions (cuddling, and allowing you to have hope that there may be by her physical affection).

She's actually a "Player/Creeper". She's got her BF, and she's got you as a fill-in for what she's not getting with her relationship, and has said that right out there. She doesn't know WHAT she wants. And/or she isn't ready for a real committed relationship. If she's not ready for one, and you are, then, darlin', it's time to head 'em up, and mooooooove 'em out! There's nothing wrong with her not wanting a serious relationship, however, she's not making that absolutely clear by words AND actions.

Take a break from dating. Who says you hafta be in a relationship to feel like a normal person? Take some time to heal for yourself. Dating can be a lot of free-from-cares fun, that many people just don't get. Dating around doesn't mean sleeping around, or just jumping into an available bed. It's going out, movies, dinner, events, whatever, with someone of the opposite sex that you like, friend or not, and having a good time. Seeing what's out there for potential mates, and having some memories along the way.

You could tell her about him trying to play around, but, her knowing you you feel about her may make it sound like you're trying to break them up for your own benefit. However, if you start dating, it may spur her on to what she may want, whether it's you, or not. Again, you really need to stop and think if she is REALLY what you want in a woman, and can you trust her when she's away from you? Will she use another man to get what she's not getting from you? Do you really want that?

Anyway, I hope things work out for what's best for you!! Best Wishes!

[Beunolas]

Long post in morning. Short version, Tyger, you're right. I need to move on, and I think I'm ready to do that :-D. Permanently, this time.

[Beunolas]

So basically, as it went down...I was supposed to see my ex monday. I hung out with another girl, who reminded me of all the things I like in girls. I decided to see her instead of my ex. My ex got upset at this (even though she had canceled on me three times in the last three days to see her boyfriend? hm...). So, she made me feel bad about it. After that convo, a cog finally slotted into place in my head "She doesn't deserve me." And she doesn't. She's not all that great. She's using me while not giving me what I want. She turns me into this horrible jealous and controlling person that I never am with anyone else. I hate feeling like that. She doesn't deserve to have what I have to offer, at least not who she is right now.

And Tyger, your advice is right on the mark. I'm just going to date around, see if I can find someone who really makes me happy. Thank you very much for the advice, I appreciate it a lot.

[Tyger]

I'm really glad I could help!

[pappyld04]

First tell us how old you are. That makes alot of difference. If you are young (20's) maybe you should just move on to somebody else. The world is not gonna crumble around you. I know it may seem like it but it won't. There are plenty of other people to love. Half the fun is finding the one and the chase.

Not to make tango's burdens any heavier but I've got to piggyback this reply. I think I caught somewhere that you were in college somewhere and you should be worried about education more than anything. A lot of couples do meet in school but you seem to be saddling a dead horse here!

[Beunolas]

Heh, sorry I didn't post age. I'm a 19 year old sophomore. This was just really my first everything girl (Kiss, girlfriend, sex, the whole shebang) and I hear those are always hard to give up.

[ohshelly]

So basically, as it went down...I was supposed to see my ex monday. I hung out with another girl, who reminded me of all the things I like in girls. I decided to see her instead of my ex. My ex got upset at this (even though she had canceled on me three times in the last three days to see her boyfriend? hm...). So, she made me feel bad about it. After that convo, a cog finally slotted into place in my head "She doesn't deserve me." And she doesn't. She's not all that great. She's using me while not giving me what I want. She turns me into this horrible jealous and controlling person that I never am with anyone else. I hate feeling like that. She doesn't deserve to have what I have to offer, at least not who she is right now.

YAHOO! Good for you! You Do deserve better~now go find her and keep us updated!

[pappyld04]

Those firsts are hard to leave alome but if it has to happen it's better while your still young and have other things going on around you. Shelly's right you are burning daylight trying to hang on to the other girl so get your butt out there and show this girl a good time!