Members highlander Posted August 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2008 Nice article Sun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted August 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2008 Nice article Sun!I certainly agree, Sun, you put into very eloquent words what so much of us are thinking. I, too, was an early developer, confused sex with love, and felt grateful to be getting some. The only way i felt attractive was to seduce a man. But the next day...well..needless to say..i felt worse than before when he left. I felt that something was wrong with me because i had crushes on girls, (OMG, I just couldn't be bi!!) It took a long time and many mistakes to finally get comfortable in my skin...still not there 100%. But as you get older you see such changes....the stunning college student becomes fat and wrinkled, the buff football player becomes a lazy slob. I realized that everything changes and your worst features can often become your best. So my last comment...all women, and men, too, don't be too hard on yourself. what you don't like today you won't care about in 10 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cybele Posted August 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2008 Excellent article Sun. Your daughters are lucky to have a mom who is so aware.I guess it's comforting to know that there are so many other women who have battled these demons as I have, though part of me wishes it were not so. From what I've come to know of all of you, you are remarkable, strong, witty, and sexy women. I would not have imagined that self esteem was ever an issue. Kudos to you all! I still battle it. I have peaks and valleys of confidence, though lately it feels that I've been wallowing in a valley lately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted August 24, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2008 I certainly agree, Sun, you put into very eloquent words what so much of us are thinking. I, too, was an early developer, confused sex with love, and felt grateful to be getting some. The only way i felt attractive was to seduce a man. But the next day...well..needless to say..i felt worse than before when he left. I felt that something was wrong with me because i had crushes on girls, (OMG, I just couldn't be bi!!) It took a long time and many mistakes to finally get comfortable in my skin...still not there 100%. But as you get older you see such changes....the stunning college student becomes fat and wrinkled, the buff football player becomes a lazy slob. I realized that everything changes and your worst features can often become your best. So my last comment...all women, and men, too, don't be too hard on yourself. what you don't like today you won't care about in 10 years.Interesting how we are all so alike...You know it's funny the way it affects us all. Some people tend to overcompensate via jokes (I totally do this, unconsciously at this point) or being generous with money. Some people lie or exaggerate, all to get people to like them, thinking that people will never like the "real" them. My sister is a compulsive liar and definitely falls into this category. Still others feel better about themselves when they can point out peoples flaws and make them seem worse than their own. Or even being jealous, trying to constantly compete with others to the point that it ruins friendships. (My oldest friend does this and it drives me NUTS!) Deep down it is all due to low self esteem and insecurity. If people could just get past the inadequacy that they feel, accept who they are and (the biggest thing) BELIEVE when people give them compliments or show affection, everyone would be happier IMO. Speaking of jealousy, I saw a girl I used to know when I was 16. She was 21 at the time. I worked with her. She was GORGEOUS! I wanted to look like her. Beautiful long brown curly frosted hair. Great body, very stylish and she was so cool and fun. Well I saw her at the store yesterday. Time had not been kind to my old friend. I was so shocked. She wasn't fat or anything like that but she just looked bad. All the old features that were beautiful seemed to be gone. It was strange. So my point is, stop worrying about other people! Take a look at yourself, for who you are, deep down. You are way better than you think!Thanks again to everyone who responded! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted August 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2008 Totally understand. My FWB is the only person I have told all about my past. And that was only very recently. I guess I felt like I had nothing to lose when I told him about everything. I wanted him to understand why I am the way that I am, and giving him every terrible detail was the only way. This conversation and his reaction is why I feel so deeply for him now. He has helped me so much more than he knows.It wasn't until this past January when I trusted anyone with everything that has happened to me. I told my SO about the surgery, scars and nightmares I went through due to my ex 7 years ago. That was very difficult as beside my ex and I...only 1 other person had known that it happened. The rest thought it was an accident from softball. I had also shared a lot of the other things I went through growing up with a verbally abusive father, peer issues and such. He is the only one that knows EVERYTHING. I am finding it a lot easier. I have shared with some of you how I got hurt by my ex through bondage. He has been very patient and understand. He is also helping me to work through a lot of my past. I am a much better person now than back then. I have come to realize I deserve to be loved. I used to think that I wasn't worth the time or effort. It was such a shame. Now I know...look out world here she comes.The other thing I have learned through the years is about passing judgement. I do not do it quickly. Just because of what is on the outside does not mean something absolutely wonderful isn't on the inside. Too many people are quick to pass judgement by a person walking by but they don't know them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted August 27, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2008 Gee thanks Tango... I guess... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted June 13, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 I just thought about re-vitsiting this one... Seems to be an issue at hand lately and I did get a lot of good responses for it before so here ya go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted June 13, 2009 Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 This was a wonderful. I don't know how I missed it. Thanks Sun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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