Call Me Insentive....

[Tyger]

tyger,

I have tried in the past to discuss her favoritism. She said that my little sister (and older sister) need more love than I do. Again end of conversation. I have a very hard time talking to mom about these things because I get told i'm blowing things way out of proprotion and that I need to quit picking on her.

The only flaw that I see in your logic of babying the youngest is that she's not. I'm middle of 5 and my sis is right after me. Girl, boy, me, girl, boy. My sister is very manipulative. She will be sweet as pie to everyone that she wants something from but the second she has used you WATCH OUT. I'm in the later catergory as I tend to be very stingy if I don't see some kind of effort on your part. Ya know "god helps those who help themselves..." Well so does Suzy.

Eventually I will not be having teh worst week ever and I'll be bale to sit down and talk with mom, until then, sorry guys your my outlet.

Suzy

I'm so sorry that she does this. It sounds like, to me, your mother is clueless on how to word things. NO parent should LOVE one child over the other. It's insensitive that she would even SAY such a thing. It's ridiculous, and I am soooo sorry she did that to you! If I could, I'd come Mommy Slap her for ya!!

My mother does the whole "picking on her" thing, when I voice concern over her addictive-like eating she has (and she had a gastric bypass...gee, why am I concerned?). So I know what a PITA that is! What I've figured out, at least for my mother, is that when I "pick on her", it's her feeling guilty because I am directly pointing out what she KNOWS to be a problem, she hates it, and doesn't want it thrown in her face. I have no other way to voice my concern, so I try not too. But it slips out every once in a while. I have to try, right?

Your sister may not be the youngest sibling, but she IS, by your count, the youngest GIRL. Which makes her the last baby-girl, so the logic's still there. Many parents baby their girls more than they do their boys. Girls are considered more "delicate". Some girls learn how to manipulate people and their parents. I'd wager that your younger sister not only manipulates her family, but strangers, the system, and whoever else she can. She's learned to get what she wants, when she wants, however she can. Most people won't stop such behavior on their own. The only thing you can do, if you're a person she uses, is to put a big ole STOP to it. Say no, mean no, and don't bend at all. Explain to your mother that you're sick and tired of her using you personally, for whatever reason: rides, babysitting, whatever. She is unappreciative, vindictive, and rude, and therefore you choose not to be a part of it. I had to with my step-sister, and had to tell her mother JUST that. At first, my step-mother couldn't understand WHY or HOW I could do it, but, even though it took her 15 yrs longer than I, she finally understands.

I really feel for you. I KWYM about the helping yourself POV. I am of that mind too. If you don't care about you, why should anyone else? Figure out a way to do something, you usually can. Totally there!! I'm sharing what I've been thru, just so you know that there are others out there that have/are going thru similar situations, and how some of it can be handled. It's frustrating, hurtful, and seems like everyone hates you for it, but realize that there are people here and IRL that DO care about you!

[froggystyle1977]

Awww Suzy I understand how you feel!! My dad does this alot my sisters (all 3 younger) definetely get more help and whatever from him then I do.

I am the indepentdent one, so I don't need as much from him. Aparentely niether do my kids he babysits for my sisters all the time!!!!!! takes thier kids

for weekends and basically whenever they need it. ones kid doesn't have daddy around so he needs grandpa, the others kids need someone to take them cause she is a wreck emotionally, depressed, and taking advantage of the state and anyone else she can!!! The third sister has no kids but lives at home and loves to wrack up bills!! I begged my dad for years to take my oldest for one weekend a year by him self with no other grandkids he did it once!!!!!!! (he is almost 14) so I gave up, I am not one to call and ask anymore if he wants to see his grandkids he knows where we are. I also stopped helping my other sisters out years ago no more rides no more help not happening!!!! now where i live its far enough away so they don't call me anymore and it definetely feels good!!!

Good luck hun, just waitng on the basement ot be finished then you can come take a vaca at my house!!!!!!!!!!

[whitefang2002]

Sorry I didn't reply sooner....I totally know how you feel. Happens to me all the time. I am actually in counceling to learn to live with them or walk away from them cuz they are causeing so many problems for me. I don't have any good advise for you either........sorry. Hope you get things figured out. If also helps to write things down and then give her the letter......you mom........and have her read it when you aren't around. Things like that work for me more cuz then they have time to read thewhole thing before the react with some snide comment before hearing the rest of what you have to say. Best of luck!

[mystofpric]

This is why I love you guys!!

Tango: Too many grown-ups and not enough maturity. It's only the three of us who actually live here and two of the three agree. Mom is hard-headed (I am too) so it's very very ha to talk to her.

Pinky: I know people think i'm joking but she openly admits to loving her dogs more than me. Sad isn't it?

Tyger: It's easy to say mom doesn't care, and I know that she does, but some days it seems like she couldn't care less, ya know? I forgot about teh baby girl thing, and to be honest the only reason I have younger brother is that my step-dad wanted a son. Also my little sister was a tough delivery and all that jazz. The only thing I fear about getting up and moving is that with all this going on I'm not going to want to pick up the phone and call mom. Sadly this is the best our relationship has ever been. Pathetic I know. And I probably (definitely) have some middle child syndrome going on but hey, it is honestly how I feel. Thanks for sharing what worked with your step-sister. I don't do ANYTHING for my sister and she knows that I won't. The only time I do anything for her is when mom volunteers me and I have no way out. I'm totally the black sheep of my family but I'm also not cow-towing to any one! Bahhh BAhhhh

Froggy: If you need help with the basement let me know! I have already told m that she is going to ignore all of her other grandchildren much like your dad does. Again, she admitted that she probably would. Oy. She was one of 5, so wouldn't it stand to reason that she ould know better than to play favorites?

WhiteFang: I've tried the letter and it only backfires, she has a magic trick where things like that only make her mad(der) I don;t get it. I think I need to talk with her boyfriend and see if he'll help me lk to her because I know he agrees with me, his response? "Now you know why I drink." How sad is that?

MWAH!! I love you guys!

[vanilla_bean]

It's clear to me that you got all the awesomeness genes in the family and the others all got left out. Keep being the great person that you are despite all this crap. Sorry that it's happening to you though. You don't deserve it.

[mystofpric]

It's clear to me that you got all the awesomeness genes in the family and the others all got left out. Keep being the great person that you are despite all this crap. Sorry that it's happening to you though. You don't deserve it.

HA! SWEET!! They may have gotten the height, the thick hair, the pretty blue eyes, but I got the awesome! Thanks VB!

[its1013]

Like SP says, Suze, the South is better...we'll take care of you. You can rotate between SP, MsLayD, and myself. I'm sorry you're having such a bad week. Your parents are supposed to be the only people who love you unconditionally. Well, unfortunately, that's not true for many of us.

Agree with pinky. some of us have not had great parents myself included but that's why i'm so fucking fabulous now!! ha, ha. Just wait until you get old like me and you'll have yourself a little attitude!

But on a lighter note, I get you in the spring. My yard is awesome in the spring and we can get up early and sit on the deck and listen to the birds and drink tea.

oh, yeah, the battery thing. well, i'll meet with the board of directors for Durcell and see what i can't work out for us! <grin> I may have to, well, uh, do a little sucking up!!! khee, khee

[mystofpric]

Agree with pinky. some of us have not had great parents myself included but that's why i'm so fucking fabulous now!! ha, ha. Just wait until you get old like me and you'll have yourself a little attitude!

But on a lighter note, I get you in the spring. My yard is awesome in the spring and we can get up early and sit on the deck and listen to the birds and drink tea.

oh, yeah, the battery thing. well, i'll meet with the board of directors for Durcell and see what i can't work out for us! <grin> I may have to, well, uh, do a little sucking up!!! khee, khee

Well if you need help with the the board I am more than willing to offer my services and, in any case, get down on my knees and beg.

Oh hon, if you hadn't sold me before you did now!

[makasha1]

Suzy...vent away, thats what we are here for. Hope it makes you feel a little better.

And if an hour on my massage table would help I'm not that far away.

And BTW, if you really want to relieve stress I give a mean "Happy Endings" massage. LOL

[littlemissnonamegirl]

Basically this shit is crap, you don't deserve to deal with ANY of it.

you're amazing and let it alllll out.

vent away.

We're all here to listen.

:] love ya suzy!

[12GAUGE]

Come on down south Suz, you can stay with me. I have two extra rooms and my dogs would love you! And I have a connection in the constuction biz to hook you up with a new counter polishing job!

I forgot - three colleges in town too, in case you want to go back to school! Or, cruise for hotties!

.....