Sexperts

[Shariana]

And seriously, worst comes to worst she's 16, probably has a period, tell her to talk to mom, tell mom that her best friend told her that she got put on BC because it regulates her periods and she would like that too instead of never knowing when it's coming until gym class. Little white lie, doubt mom will buy it but if mom has 1/2 a brain in her head she'll take her in.

In addition to have BC she needs to start having regular exams too. No exam, no sex, that's what I tell girls. My doctor told me that you need to start getting them when you become sexually active so that they know what your look like healthy and you have a strong history in case anything happens. Also most doctors won;t give BC without it.

That's actually what I did to get on BC... I was on the swim team at my university, so I figured my mom would let me so I could schedule my period around my swim meet days.... She also agreed with it to help me with my emotional-ness....

I introduced her to the idea by saying something about another girl on team.... she liked the idea and I LOVE it now. Even if she gets on BC pill or shot, makes sure she uses condoms too.... STDs lurk even when guys think they don't....

[Tyger]

I will thanks pappy.

She wants to move out cause her dad is abusive verbally and somewhat physically and her mom won't stand up to him for fear of the same thing. She wants her parents to divorce and so does her sister but they won't. The reason she wants to move in with me is cause I treat her well and protect her where I can. I'm going to be the one who stands up to her father either once the divorce happens or once she is off at a dorm in college. She has talked to her parents but they won't listen to her. She has tried bringing up things but her parents don't do anything or they do the complete opposite. E.G. when ever she gets sick she asks to stay home to rest and they force her to go to school. She can't stand them having sex when she is awake and they know she is awake, they just think she can't hear them. when she makes plans to hang out her dad tries to stop the plans and make her stay home. Her dad won't help her with school. She has asked him twice to come in and help build the sets to the theatre shows but he says that running for house rep is more important to the family(that was last year and this). She turns to me cause I'm the only person besides her cousin and sister(who both work and don't live close) who keeps my mouth shut around her parents when she wants me to and also I listen and give advice. Whenever she goes out with girls she doesn't invite me and I'm fine with that but when it's boys and girls or a guy she invites me cause I make her feel safe. I personally don't know if I can share a place with her. It's a bit weird to me with me being sexual with men and women.

It's sad when parents won't listen to their kids. However, I would really sit back and watch. I'm in NO way saying that she's lying, but, I've found, that most teens, especially girls, will blow things out of proportion. The teen has a set way of thinking how she wants things to happen, and just because it doesn't happen how SHE wants it too, then her parents aren't listening and ignoring her totally, when, in fact, they have probably decided that her idea isn't how they want to do things.

For example, a friend of mine has a 17 yr old DD. She has opened up an account for her DD and has deposited the child support (via Social Security) in the account, and allowed her DD to use the account. Well, the DD got pissed off cuz her mother finally said that only half of the child support was going into the account cuz her DD first bought a $300 cell phone with it....broke that phone, and then got a $500 cell phone with her support money. Yeah, I know that I need a $500 phone to survive! The DD is pissed cuz she says that "that's MY money", and the mother explained to her that actually the money was for her care, not for her to spend foolishly on, but for things like food, clothes, and ensuring there's a roof over her head, which is in fact, what child support is for.

As far as her parents having sex while she's awake.....tough! Parents can have sex in the privacy in their own room whenever they want too. It's none of her business. It sounds like this girl wants a bit too much control over the household. Like saying she wants them to divorce. Well, again, tough. Not her call.

I don't know of any girl, myself included, that has ever been totally satisfied with her parents. Again, I'm not saying she's a liar, but, most 16 yr olds are still maturing, and trying to establish herself as a person, so everything has to be about them. No, that's not a bad thing, but some girls take it to an extreme. I'd really try and see both sides of the story. And, though you're her friend, unless her parents are truly hurting her (and, BTW, just in case this has happened, if she gets smacked in the face for sassing/disrespecting, that's not abuse, IMO. Now if he hits her to be mean, then yes, that is abuse), then stay out of the parent-child relationship. It's up to HER to confront her parents/father.

I think it's great that you want to be there for her, don't get me wrong, just be careful, ok?

[pappyld04]

I'm going to be the one who stands up to her father either once the divorce happens or once she is off at a dorm in college.

You may need to rethink this idea! Most every father I know is overly protective of their girls.

[sass]

I have to agree with Tyger on this one. I know you want to help Korn, but I am not really sure you are. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[mystofpric]

Further,, IMHO it seems like she is playing you. It is in your best interest to stay out of family problems, unless she is coming to you covered in bruisesgive her a sympathetic ear but draw the line there. If you two still want to be roommates when she is out of high school, go for it. But while she is in school and a minor stick to the friend role.

Also, I was in high school theatre and in my experience Fathers almost never helped out, moms everywhere, but one dad. So i'm sorry but I can't blame him there, were your parents at every school function volunteering? Mine definitely weren't, and I fought with my mom all the time (somethinsg never change) but it wasn't enough for anyone to step in and take me out of there. I was very much in a similar postition as your friend and I promise, things probably aren't as bad as they seem.

As far as her parents having sex go that is unlitmately none of her business. But it does bring up a question, why can she talk to her parents about their sex life but not ask for birth control? I admit, I moved out of my mom's house because she was having very loud obnoxious sex, but I was also 19, and i had 2 years of college under my belt. Also, I don't know of many kids who WANT their parents to be divorced, that's very strange.

Your sexuality should not be a factor in a living situtation, if your open about this she has to get over it and deal. Again it's none of her business. Are you dating this girl? Cause it kinda has that feel to it, either way be very very careful something seems fishy.

[sass]

Further,, IMHO it seems like she is playing you. ... be very very careful something seems fishy.

I agree. I didn't have time to post all I wanted to earlier. I was going to add that I remember being a 16-year-old girl and I was sure that my parents were evil, would never understand me were totally against me ever being happy. Guess what? I grew-up and realized how stupid I was to think like that. No, my parents were not perfect, and hers aren't either, but DO NOT get in the middle of it.

I really think you are getting into something you will wish you hadn't.

[ToyQueen]

Korn, I hope you listen to what all of these people are telling you. All of this is a very bad idea. Please don't get in the middle of this girl and her parents. You know where to find me if you want to talk about it sometime.

[pappyld04]

Are you dating this girl? Cause it kinda has that feel to it, either way be very very careful something seems fishy.

Hate to say this korn but I get the same impression!

[SensualWoman]

I have to agree with (almost) every post here. Be mindful when dealing with family issues. And I very much agree that teens blow things out of proportion, not just because they want their way (who doesn't?), but also because they actually do see it that way sometimes too. I say, that unless you witness abuse, don't get in between those kinds of things. It can lead to some bigger issues. Like everyone else I say that you keep directing her to mom. Unfortunately, my mom told me the same thing about when my sister and I become sexually active, to come to her and she'll get us on BC. However, I had to sneak that all in and hide that fact because my mom freaked at the last second. So there is that SMALL possibility that could happen to her. But, I'm just kinda repeating what's already on here. So the best of luck, and keep being a great friend! Being a sound board and someone that gives advice is the best thing you can do right now by the sounds of it.

~SensualWoman~