Newbie lilme75 Posted April 25, 2006 Newbie Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 I have been in a relationship for 4 yrs. with several downs and a few ups. He finally moved out 5 1/2 months ago but still came by and surprised me with late night sex calls and I obliged. I met someone and we had sex and my ex found out and said I cheated. I told my ex we were juts friends. He confronted the other guy when he called and now I have no human sex partners.I don't like being alone. I guess I shouldn't leave out the part that my ex is the father of my two youngest children.Any sugesstions? Do you think it is cheating if you told your ex your friends with benefits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted April 25, 2006 Members Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 Well, it depends on the status of your relationship. If you were together, and then he moved OUT, but came over for what essentially adds up to a 'booty call' and nothing else - then hell no you weren't cheating! Did either of you agree to be exclusively with the other? Did he say "I am only sleeping with you." If he did, and you did, then you cheated.If there was none of that, you did nothing wrong and you should be able to sleep with whomever you want. This is the double standard that many men have. They can booty call whomever they want - but when we find someone else to sleep with WE are whores and sluts and are cheaters...that is B.S. in MY book!I would keep your "friend with benefits" and dump the other guy - unless you still love him - then try to define what kind of relationship you want - exclusive or not. The situation with the children should be ironed out too - what kind of Dad is he, etc.I wish you luck with this - it is never easy to negotiate the heart!Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members telecom69 Posted April 25, 2006 Members Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 I have been in a relationship for 4 yrs. with several downs and a few ups. He finally moved out 5 1/2 months ago but still came by and surprised me with late night sex calls and I obliged. I met someone and we had sex and my ex found out and said I cheated. I told my ex we were juts friends. He confronted the other guy when he called and now I have no human sex partners.I don't like being alone. I guess I shouldn't leave out the part that my ex is the father of my two youngest children.Any sugesstions? Do you think it is cheating if you told your ex your friends with benefits.Maybe being alone for a little while will be a good thing and allow you to find yourself. If he moved out and you agreed it was over, I don't see how that can be cheating. Guys are kind of like that though. We sometimes think we still own a piece of that pussy even though its gone. Yes its stupid, but thats how we think sometimes. Sounds like your boyfriend is like that and jealous. Since he is the father of your kids that makes it tough, and you have to keep him in their life if he is a decent dad. If you told him your "friends" but he can still have "benefits" and get pussy when he wants it, I wouldn't say that is really breaking up and is a stupid thing to offer someone, especially if you have kids together. Just my opinion.Telecom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ironmiss Posted April 26, 2006 Members Report Share Posted April 26, 2006 the part about womens lib is well taken, but at times it feels like it only took away the right to say no.... birth control took away the fear of unwanted children but women are expected to put out all the time now, and we all know there is no guarantee it will be worth taking your pants off for....I say kick his sorry butt to the curb except for the dealings with the kids... he gave up that part moving out... and the jealousy thing is so not called for Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members curvacious_lust Posted April 26, 2006 Members Report Share Posted April 26, 2006 I think that the late nite booty calls was his "claim" to you even tho he had moved out. Jealousy is an evil green monster that takes many forms. I think we could better respond to you if we knew "why" he moved out...and was that "the end" in both your minds, even tho you do have children together. As far as I'm concerned, hell NO you didn't cheat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hrnychick Posted April 26, 2006 Members Report Share Posted April 26, 2006 HELL NO YOU DIDNT CHEAT and dont think that you did just cause he said so......he moved out and its time to move on (for both of you) the booty calls are his way of still having somewhat of a hold on you and he is getting the best of both worlds,,,,Im sure you dont want him to just come around for sex when he couldnt get it someplace else.....and knowing that you got some and it wasnt with him is what made him say it was cheating.....You have to really think about your situation.....even though he moved out is it over for the two of you for good? Do you think you both may want to go to counseling to try to work things out? Anytime kids are in the mix it makes things so much harder......but for now putting the kids and him being the father part aside....I say you have to think about what you want and what is in the best interest for you.....there is a reason he moved out remember that..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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