Sex Sex And More Sex

[Shariana]

At the moment, my boyfriend and I are away, we try to webcam some masturbation sessions as we are available..... but because of the time difference, me living at home, and having school.... it's kinda hard.

Over the summer, we have sex almost every night.... with a few exceptions for when he is on an overnight hike or when we are both honestly too tired (although we usually end up laying next to one another and holding or touching eachother gently....)

There is always some sort of sexual or loving act each night we are together.... if I could have my way.... I'd be going with him on the overnights.... wouldn't be able to DO anything, but I love just being with him!!!

[dscn]

we do not have sex as much I would like which would be everyday but now it's only 2 and maybe 3 times per week. I have alot of energy and the wife is always asking it sex is the only reason I got married. I try to tell her sex is not the only thing but is it damn important and before we got married we had sex alot and I did not hear why I wanted so much sex. Which sometimes I feel I got jiped bamboozled becaue this is not nothing new how much I love sex. I don't know. It gets frustrating at times because I have a wife at home and I have to resort to masturbation which I don't mind doing but come on wife at home perfectly health and nothing. those are my frustrations

[synirr]

You know, things come up in life sometimes, and situations change. People get busy with work, kids, etc, and sex takes a backseat. Maybe talk to your wife about why she doesn't want it so often. It could just be her libido, or it could be that she's too tired, stressed, or what have you.

[ladylove]

I would LOVE too!!! We're saving $$ for DD's surgery first. Then I may look into it, if I can't get Mirena put in. We have a super-high deductable & really crappy coverage. I have to look into whether or not a tubal would even be covered by our insurance company.

I get it.

[ladylove]

Men, I'm wondering if any of you have noticed a decrease in your sex drive; if so how old were you when it started.

[crossroads123]

I have notice in the last few years the body has had it's problems performing at times (due somewhat to high blood pressure med) which slows the drive some times. Although I will have to say my last relationship one of her complaints was I wanted sex all the time.

I would like sex every day, but my job requires I be away for weeks at a time.

[Sunday]

Men, I'm wondering if any of you have noticed a decrease in your sex drive; if so how old were you when it started.

I think my sex drive actually increased about the time I turned 55. I was more successful in business, worrying about it less, wasn't as tired, etc. Before I probably had sex once a week. Now I'd like it 2-3 times. I get it on average about once every 2 weeks.

[Sunday]

I have a question for the women on the board. My fiancee only shows an interest in sex once every 10 days to two weeks. When we first got together she told me about her last relationship, in which they had sex every day. Sounds like he was a machine! She said she didn't like it. But she did it. Every day for 7 years.

I want it 2-3 times a week and she has no trouble turning me down. Honesty, it eats at me. We've had long discussions about the meaning of sex (she says it is just a biological function, for me it is an expression of love). She thinks I'm confused. "If it's an expression of love, then you can just express it some other way. It's just hormones. Masturbate." Actually, she's got a point there, I COULD and do express my love in other ways. But sex with her is fulfills me - it does something for me emotionally AND it's something I need physically. It frustrates and saddens me that she doesn't feel the same emotional connection through sex that I do. Any thoughts? IS sex just biology? AM I confused?

[ladylove]

I think my sex drive actually increased about the time I turned 55. I was more successful in business, worrying about it less, wasn't as tired, etc. Before I probably had sex once a week. Now I'd like it 2-3 times. I get it on average about once every 2 weeks.

)

Interesting...

I have a question. for both you and iha:

My husband very successful, always tired (work-a-holic), over 50, seem sex drive has taken a big dip. Is that usual.

[ladylove]

I have a question for the women on the board. My fiancee only shows an interest in sex once every 10 days to two weeks. When we first got together she told me about her last relationship, in which they had sex every day. Sounds like he was a machine! She said she didn't like it. But she did it. Every day for 7 years.

I want it 2-3 times a week and she has no trouble turning me down. Honesty, it eats at me. We've had long discussions about the meaning of sex (she says it is just a biological function, for me it is an expression of love). She thinks I'm confused. "If it's an expression of love, then you can just express it some other way. It's just hormones. Masturbate." Actually, she's got a point there, I COULD and do express my love in other ways. But sex with her is fulfills me - it does something for me emotionally AND it's something I need physically. It frustrates and saddens me that she doesn't feel the same emotional connection through sex that I do. Any thoughts? IS sex just biology? AM I confused?

In a rush, but a couple of thing:

She could feel like she needs to be in control of frequency, due to her past experience. Also depends on what is going on in the rest of her life. Does she have kids, is she exhausted from working all the time, how old is she, has she gone through menopause? etc.... If not, question, question, question. Sex is an expression of emotions & fundamental need, not just biology, I believe it's something we al need to stay intimately connected to our partner, however we all have different sex drives. I don't think your confused at all, however love is expressed in many different ways in and out of the bedroom.

[Guest eminatic]

i had sex several times a day every day with my ex. i hated it.

if i ever find myself in a relationship i imagine i would have FAR less sex because of what happened and the way he treated me. perhaps she is similar and having more sex would make her feel like she is being used.

[sass]

... "If it's an expression of love, then you can just express it some other way. It's just hormones. Masturbate." ...

This statement bothers me on many levels. For one, I have a very good friend whose wife basically told him the same thing. It hurt him emotionally and a lesser man might have also strayed physically.

Also, I believe that yes, there are other ways to express love, but I don't think there is anything as truly meaningful and profound as making love. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't understand how a person who is in love with another person could make a statement like that unless they do not know how important that intimate act is to their SO. If she knows how important sex - making LOVE - is to you, and still tells you to masturbate ... well, I think you all need to have some serious conversations.

Sex is not just a physical biological act, not when shared between two people in love.

[duey1963]

I think my sex drive actually increased about the time I turned 55. I was more successful in business, worrying about it less, wasn't as tired, etc. Before I probably had sex once a week. Now I'd like it 2-3 times. I get it on average about once every 2 weeks.

I am 45 and my sex drive is still up there. My SO and i have sex almost everyday.

[duey1963]

This statement bothers me on many levels. For one, I have a very good friend whose wife basically told him the same thing. It hurt him emotionally and a lesser man might have also strayed physically.

Also, I believe that yes, there are other ways to express love, but I don't think there is anything as truly meaningful and profound as making love. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't understand how a person who is in love with another person could make a statement like that unless they do not know how important that intimate act is to their SO. If she knows how important sex - making LOVE - is to you, and still tells you to masturbate ... well, I think you all need to have some serious convesrsations.

Sex is not just a physical biological act, not when shared between two people in love.

I totally agree with you MsLayD

[sun_flower969]

This statement bothers me on many levels. For one, I have a very good friend whose wife basically told him the same thing. It hurt him emotionally and a lesser man might have also strayed physically.

Also, I believe that yes, there are other ways to express love, but I don't think there is anything as truly meaningful and profound as making love. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't understand how a person who is in love with another person could make a statement like that unless they do not know how important that intimate act is to their SO. If she knows how important sex - making LOVE - is to you, and still tells you to masturbate ... well, I think you all need to have some serious conversations.

Sex is not just a physical biological act, not when shared between two people in love.

Igualmente my friend!

[Sunday]

i had sex several times a day every day with my ex. i hated it.

if i ever find myself in a relationship i imagine i would have FAR less sex because of what happened and the way he treated me. perhaps she is similar and having more sex would make her feel like she is being used.

Gosh, I'm sorry. I can't image being able to do it several times a day, let alone wanting to and forcing my wife to go along. I'm sorry. I feel like something has been taken from you.

[Sunday]

This statement bothers me on many levels. For one, I have a very good friend whose wife basically told him the same thing. It hurt him emotionally and a lesser man might have also strayed physically.

Also, I believe that yes, there are other ways to express love, but I don't think there is anything as truly meaningful and profound as making love. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't understand how a person who is in love with another person could make a statement like that unless they do not know how important that intimate act is to their SO. If she knows how important sex - making LOVE - is to you, and still tells you to masturbate ... well, I think you all need to have some serious conversations.

We're not having a lot of conversations, but we're seeing a counselor. It feels like there is something she isn't saying, something that she's holding back in the sessions. When we talk about it out of his office she very quickly gets angry about the subject. She doesn't want a really open talk about our sex life. We just work around the edges. I think something happened to her in the past, but I don't know what. She has a strange attitude about sex that is totally different than anything I've ever experienced.

I am so glad I came here. I registered here because you all have such a wide variety of opinions and experiences that I couldn't get in counseling. Your perspectives are helping me put the pieces together. Thank you all.

[sass]

We're not having a lot of conversations, but we're seeing a counselor. It feels like there is something she isn't saying, something that she's holding back in the sessions. When we talk about it out of his office she very quickly gets angry about the subject. She doesn't want a really open talk about our sex life. We just work around the edges. I think something happened to her in the past, but I don't know what. She has a strange attitude about sex that is totally different than anything I've ever experienced.

I am so glad I came here. I registered here because you all have such a wide variety of opinions and experiences that I couldn't get in counseling. Your perspectives are helping me put the pieces together. Thank you all.

You may be on to something here. There very well may be something in her past that is causing her current actions and thoughts about sex. Try to get her to talk to you about it. Maybe even go first by talking about some things you have experienced. It is not a huge secret that I have survived child molestation and rape. I have also survived more than one abusive relationship. All of these things have molded who I am today and it was not that long ago that I had a very different view of sex than I do today. My ability to finally talk about my past has made my future so much brighter. Don't pressure or push her, but let her know you are there for her. If she has something like this in her past, she has to open up only when she is ready. I commend you for your patience with her and your search for answers.

[Guest eminatic]

I feel like something has been taken from you.

yeah, my virginity

but it seriously does sound like your wife has had a negative experience with relationships/sex. its very tricky to deal with because you could end up unintentionally making her feel like you are pressuring her for more sex which could cause a slow buildup of negative feelings on her end.

[Amylynn920]

This statement bothers me on many levels. For one, I have a very good friend whose wife basically told him the same thing. It hurt him emotionally and a lesser man might have also strayed physically.

Also, I believe that yes, there are other ways to express love, but I don't think there is anything as truly meaningful and profound as making love. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't understand how a person who is in love with another person could make a statement like that unless they do not know how important that intimate act is to their SO. If she knows how important sex - making LOVE - is to you, and still tells you to masturbate ... well, I think you all need to have some serious conversations.

Sex is not just a physical biological act, not when shared between two people in love.

Absolutely, what an odd thing to tell someone. "It's hormones go masturbate". Sounds like something much more is going on.

[Amylynn920]

We're not having a lot of conversations, but we're seeing a counselor. It feels like there is something she isn't saying, something that she's holding back in the sessions. When we talk about it out of his office she very quickly gets angry about the subject. She doesn't want a really open talk about our sex life. We just work around the edges. I think something happened to her in the past, but I don't know what. She has a strange attitude about sex that is totally different than anything I've ever experienced.

I am so glad I came here. I registered here because you all have such a wide variety of opinions and experiences that I couldn't get in counseling. Your perspectives are helping me put the pieces together. Thank you all.

That's the main problem.

[Sunday]

We all talk about sex, needing it, wanting it, getting it, not getting it, new things old things etc... But if it were up to you how many times a week would your realistically like to have sex with your partner? How many times a week do you have sex now. Why the discrepancy if there is one. What changes would you like?

There is something I'm curious about and I can't just ask the question. My soon-to-be wife has said she has sex with her ex boyfriend every day. In my life I've never done it every day. Sometimes multiple times in one day, but normally 2-3 times a week. I'm just wondering what it could have been like for her at age 45-52 to be getting screwed every day. She says she didn't like it, but if that was so, why did she continue to do it? What would it be like for a woman who didn't want to get it everyday to be forced or coerced into it and why would they not leave the relationship? What would it be like to be having sex with someone you didn't really want to have sex with? I don't know why I'm so curious about her past sex life but I think about it a lot. Maybe it's because she shows so little interest in sex with me. I wonder if she had little interest with him, but he wanted it and gave it to him anyway.

[ladylove]

There is something I'm curious about and I can't just ask the question. My soon-to-be wife has said she has sex with her ex boyfriend every day. In my life I've never done it every day. Sometimes multiple times in one day, but normally 2-3 times a week. I'm just wondering what it could have been like for her at age 45-52 to be getting screwed every day. She says she didn't like it, but if that was so, why did she continue to do it? What would it be like for a woman who didn't want to get it everyday to be forced or coerced into it and why would they not leave the relationship? What would it be like to be having sex with someone you didn't really want to have sex with? I don't know why I'm so curious about her past sex life but I think about it a lot. Maybe it's because she shows so little interest in sex with me. I wonder if she had little interest with him, but he wanted it and gave it to him anyway.

You have loads of questions.....

Q. why would she continue to have sex everyday?

A. Not sure. My best guess is maybe she was and is afraid to be alone so she did what she thought she had to keep her man so to speak. You really need to ask her this one, she's the only one that will be able to give you an answer as to why. I think the general theme for all your questions, is lack of self image and confidence; or maybe she just doesn't like sex.

Q. What would it be like for a woman who didn't want to get it everyday to be forced or coerced into it and why would they not leave the relationship? What would it be like to be having sex with someone you didn't really want to have sex with?

A. Being coerced: is persuading someone by using a threat or force. So, forced and coerced are the same. Being coercer/forced to have sex with someone is a form of abuse. If this is truly how it was for her than she was in an emotionally abusive relationship. One doesn't need to be hit to be in an abusive relationship. It sounds to me as if she was getting raped repeatedly. Forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him without their consent and/or against their will, esp. by the threat or use of violence against them = rape. So she was being raped day after day, after day, after day for a whole year.

Did she jump into another relationship quickly following that one or not.

If she was in an abusive relationship she had/has very low self esteem. She may have thought she didn't deserved any more than what she was getting; or deserved the treatment he was handing out. Was she in an abusive relationship. Being forced or coerced by someone to have sex with them everyday sound like a nightmare no matter what your age is. Or is it an exaggeration to get you to back off?

Q. What would it be like to be having sex with someone you didn't really want to have sex with?

A. I have never chosen to have sex with someone I didn't want to have sex with, however I can only believe it's empty, no more exciting that rubbing up against a wall or door.

Have I had sex with my husband when I may not have completely wanted to, sure when the kids were little and I was exhausted, but in Loving marriage/relationships you sometimes do things to please the other partner, but be sure it is never forced or coerced, it's by choice. Frankly, I was usually got on board.

Here are some questions for you. How and why did the relationship end? You don't need to answer if you don't want to but it may be something for you find out. I also think you need to find out if she is using the correct descriptive words for her sex life in her previous relationship. I think thats of the utmost importance. If she is than she could benefit form some counseling big time if she hasn't already had any, or may be she needs more. If the descriptives are an exaggeration, than it is my opinion she is making excuses and you really need to examine that, because if/when you get married it will only get worse. Why does she not want to have sex, be intimate with someone she loves? Makes no sense?????????, unless her description or her last relationship is completely accurate.

[sass]

I also think you need to find out if she is using the correct descriptive words for her sex life in her previous relationship. I think thats of the utmost importance. If she is than she could benefit form some counseling big time if she hasn't already had any, or may be she needs more. If the descriptives are an exaggeration, than it is my opinion she is making excuses and you really need to examine that, because if/when you get married it will only get worse. Why does she not want to have sex, be intimate with someone she loves? Makes no sense?????????, unless her description or her last relationship is completely accurate.

This is what I was thinking, too. If she did get in essence raped every day, then she needs help to get over that. I cannot imagine trying to love and trust again if I was repeatedly raped by another man who I loved and trusted. It would take a lot of help, soul-searching and inner-strength to get past that However, if she has exaggerated in her description of their sex life, then her views on sex are being skewed by something. Like LL said, there are compromises in relationships and having sex when one partner is less in the mood than the other is one of them, but that should not be seen - in a healthy relationship - as being forced or coerced.

I think you are right to be interested in her past. We all have one and while the past is over and done, it does shape and mold who we are today and who we will be tomorrow. If you are going to be spending the rest of your tomorrows with her, you need to understand who she is and how her past relationships have affected her. I would say the same thing in any serious relationship, even if both parties' pasts were rosy.

[Sunday]

You have loads of questions.....

Q. why would she continue to have sex everyday?

A. Not sure. My best guess is maybe she was and is afraid to be alone so she did what she thought she had to keep her man so to speak. You really need to ask her this one, she's the only one that will be able to give you an answer as to why. I think the general theme for all your questions, is lack of self image and confidence; or maybe she just doesn't like sex.

I think there may be something to this. I wonder if I really know her. She seemed like a strong, independent woman, with a strong sense of self esteem who really knows herself, but if she was so insecure even in her late 40s that she would fuck a guy every day, even though she didn't like it, just to keep him from leaving her, she isn't the person I think she is. I may be wrong, but that seems like an area that a person wouldn't want violated. I can only look at it from my perspective, but I'd rather have someone cleaning out my bank account every day than have them violate me in such a personal way on a daily basis.