If Im Ugly

[lonelylover101]

if im ugly do girls asum that i suck in bed?

[Mikayla1]

if im ugly do girls asum that i suck in bed?

I don't think that your physical appearance can cause women to make a determination one way or another about your sexual performance. I do, however, think if you go around thinking that you are ugly, and have a bad self esteem, that they will pick up on that and not want to give you a chance in general.

Labeling yourself as "ugly" is never a good thing to do, for your own personal self, or to begin a relationship with anyone. I believe no person is "ugly" no matter what they look like on the outside, everyone has redeeming qualities...what are yours?

Mikayla

[ambrelyn]

Yeah, I definitely agree. I think people are more attracted to an air of confidence than a hot body, especially in the sense of a lasting relationship. I know I am. What attracted me to my fiance was the confidence, almost to the point of arrogance, that he has. If you walk around, with your head down, believing you are ugly and that no one could be attracted to you, no one is going to look at you twice. You have to find yourself attractive before anyone else will. I have struggled with this for years with my weight. I'm about 280, and have been 'large' all my life. I was picked on horribly in school and believed I was ugly, and that made me painfully shy. This became a horrible cycle. No one talked to me because I was so shy and tried to melt into the background, so I became more shy because I though no one liked me. I would go out with any guy that asked me just cuz I was so tired of being alone. When I got out of school and started working in a library, I had to talk to people and I gained more confidence. Then one day it just clicked in my mind, I'm as good as anybody else. No, I'll probably never be a supermodel, but I'm smart, I'm sweet, I'm funny, and I am pretty. I also realized that those qualities will outlast the perfect body every time. Then several years later I met my fiancee. He's also a big guy, but he things I'm the hottest thing he's ever seen, but what first attracted him was my personality. Your personality and confidence makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Which is my point. If you believe you're good in bed, and have that confidence in yourself, then women will see that and be attracted to it. But your main goal should be to confince yourself that you are just as good as anyone else. Because it's true. Once you do that, this problem won't be a problem anymore. That's my personal experience anyway.

[Tyger]

A postive outlook is important as self esteem, IMO.

Now, there is a guy I know, that goes for "fat chicks" cuz he thinks that they're easier to please, and better in bed cuz they put more effort into it all. Not sure if that's true, and not MY opinion at all, but just giving an example of some people's way of thinking.

[sexykitty]

There is a lid for every pot......that old saying came to mind after reading your post. No one should ever think of themselves as "ugly" i know eaaier said then done.....but i have found it to be true that if you think it others will too. So let your personality shine and im sure you will find a gal real soon......and dont even worry about what they are thinking about you in bed or how good you will be.....once you find someone you really like and want to have sex with all those "fears" are gone.

You cant focus on the bad you have to really focus on the good.

Yeah, I definitely agree. I think people are more attracted to an air of confidence than a hot body, especially in the sense of a lasting relationship. I know I am. What attracted me to my fiance was the confidence, almost to the point of arrogance, that he has. If you walk around, with your head down, believing you are ugly and that no one could be attracted to you, no one is going to look at you twice. You have to find yourself attractive before anyone else will. I have struggled with this for years with my weight. I'm about 280, and have been 'large' all my life. I was picked on horribly in school and believed I was ugly, and that made me painfully shy. This became a horrible cycle. No one talked to me because I was so shy and tried to melt into the background, so I became more shy because I though no one liked me. I would go out with any guy that asked me just cuz I was so tired of being alone. When I got out of school and started working in a library, I had to talk to people and I gained more confidence. Then one day it just clicked in my mind, I'm as good as anybody else. No, I'll probably never be a supermodel, but I'm smart, I'm sweet, I'm funny, and I am pretty. I also realized that those qualities will outlast the perfect body every time. Then several years later I met my fiancee. He's also a big guy, but he things I'm the hottest thing he's ever seen, but what first attracted him was my personality. Your personality and confidence makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Which is my point. If you believe you're good in bed, and have that confidence in yourself, then women will see that and be attracted to it. But your main goal should be to confince yourself that you are just as good as anyone else. Because it's true. Once you do that, this problem won't be a problem anymore. That's my personal experience anyway.

Glad that you arent letting the words of others get you down......sounds like you are a very attractive person with a great personality and that is always way better then anything.

[mrswheelerman55]

This brought back a far gone memory for me .

Years ago, i was in the hospital having one of several surgeries, and a teenage was just admitted and assigned to my room.

Granted she was not eye pleasing, but still a person who needed a friend.

I introduced myself and gave a warm smile.

The next day, she had to have a spinal tap and while i felt helpless, she asked the doctor if i could hold her hand and smile. The doctor allowed me to do this for her. After the tap, I asked her why she wanted me to do this ? The answer was simple...because I had smiled at her the day before.

A SMILE can go a long way.

To this day, I have a smile on my face, no matter what kind of day I'm having.

People tend to approach me more often than before.

I learned years ago that beauty is only skin deep.

Inner beauty is for a life time.

Show off that inner beauty every day.

You will see what a simple little smile can do.

[Scout]

if im ugly do girls asum that i suck in bed?

I have to agree with Howard and Mikayla and the others...please don't think of yourself as ugly.

Yes, when looking at the fashion models, actors, everyone that the media seems to think represent what we're supposed to look like, many of us are, well, let me just say, appearance challenged! But that's not what makes us who we are...it's what is inside. Sometimes, we need to take stock and decide what we would like to change about our physical features - and then take that step and make the changes. For me, it was weight - what? No one has ever been a bit "plump?" Ha! Bet me!

But you know? I was not just a bit plump - I was very much overweight - what I enjoyed doing was becoming a chore because of the extra weight I carried - that was the real incentive. Now, 80 lbs lighter - I'm still a "big gal" but I'm proud of myself and proud of what I can do, physically. Most women my age would faint if they saw me in action - and most men my age - well, let's just say, my man loves having me work along side him.

And the one thing I think that lets women know what kind of lover you would me, is that smile, the kind of smile that lights up your face - that says clearly how glad you are to see her - or to meet her. The way you talk, laugh with her, look at her ... those are the things that tell her you are a great lover. The way you tease with her, and how you play... Ever have any doubts about how Jerry Lewis kept his wife happy? I doubt that it was just his money...and there are so many others...

Please, don't put yourself down...remember that we are all here for a purpose. I know it's sometimes hard to find what that purpose might be...but we will find it. And doing, as Howeard said, something that you enjoy, will put you in touch with others that enjoy the same thing...and the best way to meet someone is to have the same interests...and don't forget to smile!

Scout

[nosleepnmesa]

I have to say I agree with all the other post. Never put yourself down that only limits the things you are capable of doing ect.

Also what does looks have to do with sex, I mean really I believe that people are beautiful from the inside out, this is just my opion of course but I believe that people what makes people, beautiful, handsome ect id their personality and the way the carry themselves. This is just my opion of course.

I dated a man once who was 325 pounds me be a little person as I say. I am 5 foot 1 and 115 pounds and I was never attracted to bigger men. My girlfriend sent me on a blind date with a guy I never met I saw him and didnt think anything about his size or whether he was ugly or not his personality was OVERWHEMLING.

Needless to say we dated for 6months and then he moved out of town and I found my husband.

Whatever you do never call yourself ugly, your self esteem will show in the way you walk and talk ect and having a bad opion of yourself can hurt you(mentally and in relationships) nobody is ugly in this world unless they make themselves that way with their personality ect...

As far as can being ugly hurt your sex life well my opion is no if your talking about your looks.

[hrnychick]

Reading this topic and the posts that followed brought back a lot of memories, As a teenager i did not feel pretty at all......why i dont really know just that feeling,,,,,plus having a best friend that could turn any guys head (and a few ladies too) didnt really help my feeling about myself at all. I always thought she would marry before I thats if i ever found someone i wanted to marry and who would want to marry me. Well i met Mr. Right long before she me hers,,,,,her looks got her dates but nothing ever seemed to work out as far as a relationship went until a few years ago when she met her hubby.

I just found that my feeling back then werent true and looking back i have had my share of boyfriends even though she had a lot of dates.....personality is what really ment the most......not knocking my friends personality but when it came to guys it was her way or no way........anyway i now tell this story to my nieces who are going through that stage where they think they will never get a date etc,,,,,,,and it is true that if you smile and feel good about yourself that will make others think it as well......and it will draw people towards you instead of away.

So never think of yourself as ugly and keep smiling and showing your inner beauty;l