Successes & Sacrifices

[ladylove]

We all measure success differently. I personally measure some of my success by how well I raised my children. Do I like the people they have become. BTW the answer is yes I do like them and am very proud of each of them for different reasons. I willing and eagerly sacrificed my own carrier to be a stay at home Mom. Not a decision that came easily. There are others that measure success by what their Dun and Bradstreet Report Says and have given up there personal lives in order to achieve this.

Here is the question for all of you. What do consider your success and what did you sacrifice to achieve it?

I think this will be very interesting!

[Mikayla1]

Well, it is a great question and my answer is multi-faceted.

(1) I used to measure success by money and status. I was in law school, worked for a prominent lawyer, my hubby and I had a rather large income. We were 'up and coming'....then I got pregnant.

(2) after my first son, my priorities shifted.....way shifted. I gave up the extra income to stay home. I gave up dreams of being a lawyer (thought it would be too hard with kids) and stayed at home, went back to school to get my MA, and raised him.

success: he is extremely intelligent, well-rounded, artistic, loving, kind, sensitive...and all around a fantastic kid.

(3) While going back to school, and having a small ADHD child, I maintained a 4.3 GPA (out of 4.0) and graduated Cum Laude, got a professorial job before I graduated, wrote a children's book, and had baby #2

success: having fantastic children AND a career that I am proud of. Son #2 is also fun, kind, smart, fun-loving and a joy to be around

(4) TooTimid. I came here just to buy toys and chat, and 4 years later I am a Sex Educator, have written hundreds of articles, have met fantastic people, have helped many people, have learned much aboout myself and sex and marriage

success: helping people in a community that I value so much. Learning from others everyday. Striving for better in my marriage and sex life. Helping others to do the same.

My successes are in constant flux. I feel that my children are my ultimate success, but some would argue my career or my marriage. So they all are. I am well-balanced in my life, I love my life, and to me, being happy in what road you have chosen is an ultimate success.

We (my hubby and I) have lost 1/2 our income this last year, have lost many jobs on each side, but we are blissfully (ok, maybe not blissfully) we are happy and our boys are happy.....and that is a great success!

[Sunday]

Well, it is a great question and my answer is multi-faceted.

(1) I used to measure success by money and status. I was in law school, worked for a prominent lawyer, my hubby and I had a rather large income. We were 'up and coming'....then I got pregnant.

(2) after my first son, my priorities shifted.....way shifted. I gave up the extra income to stay home. I gave up dreams of being a lawyer (thought it would be too hard with kids) and stayed at home, went back to school to get my MA, and raised him.

success: he is extremely intelligent, well-rounded, artistic, loving, kind, sensitive...and all around a fantastic kid.

(3) While going back to school, and having a small ADHD child, I maintained a 4.3 GPA (out of 4.0) and graduated Cum Laude, got a professorial job before I graduated, wrote a children's book, and had baby #2

success: having fantastic children AND a career that I am proud of. Son #2 is also fun, kind, smart, fun-loving and a joy to be around

(4) TooTimid. I came here just to buy toys and chat, and 4 years later I am a Sex Educator, have written hundreds of articles, have met fantastic people, have helped many people, have learned much aboout myself and sex and marriage

success: helping people in a community that I value so much. Learning from others everyday. Striving for better in my marriage and sex life. Helping others to do the same.

My successes are in constant flux. I feel that my children are my ultimate success, but some would argue my career or my marriage. So they all are. I am well-balanced in my life, I love my life, and to me, being happy in what road you have chosen is an ultimate success.

We (my hubby and I) have lost 1/2 our income this last year, have lost many jobs on each side, but we are blissfully (ok, maybe not blissfully) we are happy and our boys are happy.....and that is a great success!

[Sunday]

We all measure success differently. I personally measure some of my success by how well I raised my children. Do I like the people they have become. BTW the answer is yes I do like them and am very proud of each of them for different reasons. I willing and eagerly sacrificed my own carrier to be a stay at home Mom. Not a decision that came easily. There are others that measure success by what their Dun and Bradstreet Report Says and have given up there personal lives in order to achieve this.

Here is the question for all of you. What do consider your success and what did you sacrifice to achieve it?

I think this will be very interesting

There are so many levels of success! I think overall success is looking back and seeing that I've left some little piece of the world better than I found it. That usually means making someone happier than they were when I found them. The big, lifetime success would be that in the end, all the little pieces add up to something worthwhile.

[sun_flower969]

I feel like personal success is who you have become over time. After all your experiences as a child, Teenager young adult and on to maturity. How you have overcome obstacles and challenges. I like who I am! I didn't use to... I think that is success.

[Mikayla1]

After re-reading what I wrote so early this AM and talking to a brilliant friend of mine on this subject, I have to ammend my answer.

I did not truly sacrifice, in the meaning of the word, my extra income to stay home. I made a lifestyle decision. Give up the trendy, Chicago apartment, move to the suburbs, stop buying Coach purses and fancy shoes, and be a 'MOM' - not a sacrifice, really. In all honesty, those who have to leave their children every day just to live make more than a sacrifice than I have. I am blessed to be able to be here for both boys AND have a job I love. So, in this regard, my answer was wayyyy off!

Also, I do have many more successes than listed. I have many, many friends. I have great relationships, I have fantastic children. I have worked to maintain those relationships, and that is a true success. When I leave this Earth there will be many to mourn and remember me - and in many different aspects. I have been true to myself, who I am, and have not waivered my convictions. I have been and continue to be a true 'me' - a person who does what she wants and makes no excuses for it (within reason, of course).

So, have I truly made sacrifices in my life? Probably not. I have never given up something truly, or made a true sacrifice for something. I have not had to. Would I sacrifice? YES. If I ever had to sacrifice something in my power to do for my family or friends I would do it in a heartbeat, but as of yet, I have not had to or had a situation to challenge that. We will see what happens when I do!

[ladylove]

I'm a little loopy tonight so bare with me......

I agree with Mikayla, I didn't make a sacrifice per-say. I made a choice about what was most important to me at that time. It was one of the hardest, and best decisions I've made and wouldn't chose to do it differently if had the choice now. I was in a position that I didn't make a financial choice, I made a personal one which would have been supported no matter which what it went. However, I still think there are those that do sacrifice, namely, thier interpersonal relationships in order to attain the American Dream. I'd be very interested if anyone has done this and what there thoughts are. Also is it ever enough?

'h

[Sunday]

I'm a little loopy tonight so bare with me......

Well, OK! I'll bare something, and then you bare something, and before you know it, you won't care if you're loopy!

[Sunday]

I agree with Mikayla, I didn't make a sacrifice per-say. I made a choice about what was most important to me at that time. It was one of the hardest, and best decisions I've made and wouldn't chose to do it differently if had the choice now. I was in a position that I didn't make a financial choice, I made a personal one which would have been supported no matter which what it went. However, I still think there are those that do sacrifice, namely, thier interpersonal relationships in order to attain the American Dream. I'd be very interested if anyone has done this and what there thoughts are. Also is it ever enough?

I don't feel like I've ever sacrificed anything. Like you, I've just make choices. Do you think sacrifice is something you think about before hand, or something you look back on and say, "I gave that up for this"?

[ladylove]

Well, OK! I'll bare something, and then you bare something, and before you know it, you won't care if you're loopy!

:lol: :lol:

[ladylove]

I don't feel like I've ever sacrificed anything. Like you, I've just make choices. Do you think sacrifice is something you think about before hand, or something you look back on and say, "I gave that up for this"?

Good question.

I think it's both. I know of people who make this decision (sacrifices) consciously without regret and never look back, some with regret. Then, there are also those who think they are doing what needs to be done but in the end they look back over their life and have said/thought: "if I only knew then what I know now", that could be regret.

The regret/sacrifice I'm talking about is a deep seeded unrest about past decisions or actions. Not the shrug your shoulders oh well sort of mentality.

[sass]

I honestly don't know what it will take for me to feel successful, so I don't know that I can really answer this one. I have the house, the job, the SO ... but there is still something missing. The first thing people may think is it is motherhood that I am missing. Maybe, maybe not, I really don't know what it is right now.

Have I made sacrifices in life? Well, yeah, but none that I regret doing - maybe I wish I had not had to do them (like tend to my dying father) but I don't regret that I, for example, put my life on hold to care for Dad. I wish he hadn't gotten sick, but he did so I did what I had to do.

Life is all about give and take.

[pappyld04]

Just being able to look back on the years and see how much has changed. Some for the worst, but mostly for the better! And you see the people you have tried to help along the way. A lot of people only need one little hand up to succeed, some will never even try, but even with the failures I can say I tried!

[square]

Get by without being too much of an asshole or too much of a door matt; raise my kids with some semblance of well-roundedness, to not be bigots, to not be assholes themselves, to stay away from dope and self-destructive behaviour, to have respect for others, to take care of themselves, to be close to each other (even though they deny it), and to have some of the values that I have. Also, to feel that I am valuable at work and not too much of a slacker.

Sacrifices: a lot of sleep over the last 10-11 years, gray hair, a few footprints on my forehead, and not doing a lot of things for myself that I would have liked.

[ladylove]

Sacrifices: a lot of sleep over the last 10-11 years, gray hair, a few footprints on my forehead, and not doing a lot of things for myself that I would have liked.

It's called being a Parent. Oh and the sleep never really gets better.

[mystofpric]

I feel like personal success is who you have become over time. After all your experiences as a child, Teenager young adult and on to maturity. How you have overcome obstacles and challenges. I like who I am! I didn't use to... I think that is success.

I agree with this whole-heartedly! I used to hate who i was and where I was headed, but now i'm proud to be who i am and I'm happy when I look at myself in the mirror (not just the physical, i like the person who looks back at me.) Am i ever going to be Brady Bunch happy? Doubtful, but as long as I can wake up most days of the week and not wonder if it's worth it, and go to bed at the end of the day without a billion worries in my head then I'm happy. And that is a sucess to me!