telecom69

I agree with Howard. When my gf is naked and has a warm appealing smile, that is the bomb! Sometimes the simplest things are the most sexy. Telecom

Yes, anything is worth a try. I'll try a sample with her and give you some feedback. Telecom

I've had a lot of private messages with some (Thank You!) on this, but what else can a guy do? I'm 46 yrs old and have been around the block in my life sexually, but have never been with a woman like this. My gf seems to be able to orgasm with her vibrator "sometimes" (about half the time she tells) now in private, but still can't with me. I bought her both vibrators as she never would herself. With me either being vaginal intercourse, oral on her, her using the vibe on herself in front of me or me using it on her, hand stimulation, and anything else you can think of. She says she feels comfortable with me, loves me deeply, and trusts me 100%. I treat her very well, respect her, set the moments right for sex, lots of foreplay, I'm romantic, displays of public affection, compliments all the time, build her confidence... well, you get what I'm saying. Most of the time she is on the brink of an orgasm with me, but then says to stop as the feeling left. FRUSTRATING. This has just got to be a comfort\relaxing thing with her and me, but I can't understand why from all the things she tells me. This has been like this for almost a year. Telecom

Ok, what song would buzz you the longest? My vote would be "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly. You younger ones won't remember that song. Telecom

You said you have been with this guy for six years, so that means you have been with him since you were 14 yrs old. Damn, you haven't lived life at all and you need to. Find a real man (doesn't always mean sex) who will treat you decent and make you feel special. You can't beat the wonderful emotions you'll experience when you're in a relationship we're both of you are more equal and happy. If a guy really enjoys sex and all that comes with it in a relationship, he'll want to please you both sexually and emotionally in bed. Good Luck... Telecom

These posts are so intriguing. Its a place where we can go and vent, be very personal, and relieve some pent up emotions without any repercussions. There are a few on here who have helped me a lot. You know who you are, so thx very much. My girlfriend of one year has some issues and doesn't reciprocate the attention, romance, respect, and love I give her... well, at least not in the sex dept. If she just wanted to do half the things you ladies want to do I would be ecstatic. I love to do long passionate kisses, touching her hair and face, holding her and kissing her in public, bringing flowers to her work so her coworkers can see how I care about her, etc. I would literally do anything she wanted to do in bed. So, its goes both ways ladies. If you can avoid the divorce, PLEASE do it. Tell your husband exactly how you feel and be very adamant about it. If it doesn't wake him up, then it will be his loss. Telecom

I think you will find that he may be a little intimidated when he sees your new looks. If you are more sexual now to since you feel you look great, he may not be as trusting of you to when he goes back and be wondering. But, it is both of your responsibilities to work it out and hopefully he will realize that. My niece's husband was in Iraq for a year and wounded, but ok. He was back for about eight months and is going back again next month. My prayers for your husbands safety. Telecom

If she would let me, hell yes. She is about 50% shaven now on her own. I don't want it to be 100%, but more would be cool. I like some carpet :-) Telecom

If you hook up with her, you many die to. Just kidding. Is it really worth it again if you're married? Enjoy what you experienced and move on. Put your effort into your current spouse if possible. Telecom

Foxy, I agree with Mikayla. If you want to drive a many crazy, think of your pleasure. Your man will see this and he will love it! My current gf is so quiet and almost does nothing during sex, so this of course does not get me going and is almost a turn off. My gf is easily distracted and just thinks of me, which in reality works against her and me. Let him know what feels good and communicate it. That is what will drive him wild! Telecom

I know this isn't really a sex question, but wanted some advice from the ladies and how you feel about doing this. You know how my gf is and how she is still learning about her sexuality. Sexuality and love to me is a lot more than just what happens in the bedroom, and I'm trying to teach my gf that. We've been out dancing a few times during the year relationship, but I have never been really sexual with her while dancing. Well, last night I wanted to show her something different and see what she would do. We were at a dance club and when I took her out on the floor for the third time, I just went ahead and did really sexual dancing with her, but nothing obscene. Going up and down her ass with my hands, stroking her hair, lots of kissing, grinding against her pubic bone, feeling my hard on against her, telling her how I feel about her, etc. She said she loved it and had never done that with anyone before and found it sexy and a turn on. Thx.. Telecom

Sure, "wet" is a huge turn on for me to. My gf just doesn't get very wet and Astroglide is a must 75% of the time. My ex did get really wet to and that was very nice. Lube almost never required. Sure, "wet" is a huge turn on for me to. My gf just doesn't get very wet and Astroglide is a must 75% of the time. My ex did get really wet to and that was very nice. Lube almost never required.

When you say your current partner is patient, what do you mean?

Not sure about the pulsing sensation. She is doing some quiet moaning, panting\breathing faster, and her hips are going up and down, but not grinding left to right or in a circular motion. The hip movement is very slow at first and then becomes very rythmic. I can't sense any extra liquid. She does tense her lower body before she tells me to take my head away. I'm of three opinions of this. 1.) she is so close to the edge, but she just can't let go for whatever reason and tells me to quit. 2.) she is actually having an orgasm, but maybe was expecting something so mind blowing that she disregards it as no orgasm. 3.) she really isn't experiencing much pleasure and just tells me the "feeling went away" to get it over with when in fact she never had "the feeling". Her eyes are always closed while I'm doing it. I'm having a talk with her tomorrow to fully understand this and hope she is blunt honest. My ex would contract and tense her lower body during her orgams, so that is familiar to me. And she would tell me when she was cumming and to go faster.

Thanks Mikayla, This is what I'm trying to figure out with my gf to go thru it and see what happens. She'll get to that point and is very clear to stop by pulling my head up or taking my hand(s) off. I'm thinking maybe if I just slowed down and applied very light pressure for a while that could get her to continue. I'm still not really sure if she is even having an orgasm or not.

How many of the ladies out there experience this? After an orgasm of any intensity with clit stimulation by your partner using hand, vibe, tounge, etc.... how senstive is your clit where you don't anymore stimulation and say thats it? How long do you wait until your clit is not so sensitvie where you may let your partner stimulate you again?

The reason I was asking is because my gf said (at least that is what she told me) she has never inserted her vibe for stimulation. I gently siad she should try it some time. She is still learning herself and doesn't feel comfortable with it still. I personally think she has, but she just won't tell me. She comes out and asks me the other night if I ever masturbate and without hesitation I said yes. She asked what do I think about while doing it, and I told her I think of her masturbating. Hopefully that will open her eyes more. She was up for the vibe I bought her several months ago, but I'm not sure what she would do if I offered to get her a smaller dildo to start. Can't hurt to ask I guess.

Questions for the ladies here. When you masturbate, what percentage of the time is only clitoral stimulation as opposed to penetration with a vibe or dildo. What about both clitoral stimulation and penetration.? Telecom

My 15 year old gets "jiggy with it" all the time. I know sometimes 3x a day. You know, long showers, door locked in bedroom, etc. I know its normal, but damn. I find porno pics ripped from magazines hidden in the bathroom and his room. I left the password off my satellite dish once and he ran up $60 worth of porn movies one week before I got the bill and almost killed him for that. This was during the summer, so he was hving fun during the day. This is really funny. My oldest son is 20 now, but when he was 17 I caught him up late on a school night whacking it. I saw the light on under his door about 1am and opened it to tell him to go to bed. He is whacking to a porn movie he got from somewhere, and then just looks at me like it is no big deal and says "Dad, I'm beating off, close the door." He wasn't embarrased in the least. I was more embarrased myself that I just closed the door and left. We never said anything else about it again. Telecom...

Good question Crazy. A long time friend of mine got his wife a thick 7" dildo that she wanted to try. He regrets it now.. read on. He says he is about 5.5-6" hard with average thickness and now his wife never wants to just have intercourse with him as much and wants to get banged with the dildo all the time. He said there sex life (at least his) has gone down a lot knowing his wife wants and uses the dildo more now. He has had times when his wife and him planned to have sex in the evening, but found out she is taking care of herself with the dildo during the day and doesn't want to have sex with him as much. He is not a happy camper anymore. Obviously the dildo is satisfying her more since she is used to something bigger now. What is a guy to do in this situation? I told him to post on this site, but he won't.

Hello shedoc, You've come to the right site to get a lot of your questions answered. Most of the posts you get back will be sensitive and want to help you. You are NOT alone with your feelings and experiences. You hit it right on the head by saying that you need to find out what gives you pleasure in private first before trying to let partners figure it out. That can spell disaster and resentment. Men really can't give you orgasms unless you want them, as you have to let yourself have orgasms. Deep mental issues can prevent orgasms no matter what. The guy can be hung like a horse and giving you great oral, but unless you relax and let it happen, it won't . I come from the school of hard knocks with my girlfriend who faces very similar issues as you do, though she is 44 yrs old. She is from a religious Catholic background as you are and is still working on losing those inhibitions, and she is getting better as its been almost a year for us. One of the things I did for her after we finally felt comfortable about all this was to get her a small non-intimidating vibrator for her to use in private. She uses this a couple of times a week to learn about herself. She was unable to orgasm as you are, but finally has and is learning how to make them better for herself, and will give me some guidance as to what she likes. I have never been with a woman who couldn't cum while doing oral sex, but my girlfriend was the first. I would still only call our sex ok, and not even really good, much less great. This will take awhile as yours may also. Maybe you will be lucky and it won't take very long. Most of it is mental and not physical, and your realization that masturbation is not wrong is the best step that you can make. The ladies here will provide a lot better input than I will, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, are normal, and you do deserve to enjoy these great feeling our bodies gives us. Good Luck.. Telecom

Anyone ever use these and have comments? Since my gf is still a little shy about vibes and such, she was actually very up for getting one of these. We looked at a few of them in a shop today and the quality looked nice. We got one of the cock rings with the vibrating bullet on it (tried it yesterday) from a different company and she did like that. She is opening up more still. Thx...

Need some opinions here. A point of contention with my gf and I sometimes is her two small dogs in bed with us all the time. They are those ugly hairless Chinese Crested dogs, and she loves them more than anything and has had them since they were puppies. They sleep in bed with us all the time and are very demanding for attention. They whine and are worse than little kids, really. Anyway, they are often in bed with us at the time one if us initiates sex and they can be annoying milling around us. I have told her I don't feel comfortable with them in bed with us during sex, and sometimes she will take them out and close the door, but not all the time. What do you think?

Scout, Thanks for the encouraging words. She went to a second session with the therapist and didn't want to go anymore after that. The therapist was really putting the hard sell on her (and I) for a third "intensive" session with her partner therapist, and she wanted a freaking $700 for a three hour session. We both felt a little uncomfortable with this tactic and are trying go work it out ourselves. I gave my gf a very hard line ultimatum (based on some advice from others on the forum) about a week ago telling her if she can't help herself to help us, I'm leaving. End of story. It was very much to the point! This awoke the shit out of her and how serious I was. She was actually very understanding and didn't do the "feel sorry for me" routine. She did tell me she has finally had a couple of orgasms with her vibrator in private that she didn't tell me about, and is learning what feels good. She said when she feels a little more comfotable, she wants me to use the vibrator on her. I really think most of this is her trust in me and still being here in the future. She is finally telling me how to give her oral sex and where things feel good for her. That is all I have ever asked from her...FEEDBACK. I told her how important her feedback is to me and I appreciate it VERY much she is telling me and that she can trust me. In fact while making love in the missionary postition yesterday, instead of just thrusting in and out, I just went in as far as possible and rode higher on her pubic bone to give her clit more stimulus and moved up and down slowly. She was telling me how to move and then said "right there, perfect..don't stop". I keep teeling her to think about herself and what feels good for her, as she deserves to feel good sexually. This was at my house and my son was expected to come over to visit, but we weren't sure when. She said the added excitment of possibly being caught got her going big time, and I could easily see it did. She was moaning a lot more than I have ever heard her and she was VERY wet, which usually isn't the case. We even left a huge stain on my new $150 comforter. Damn She said this is the first time she has experienced an orgasm while making love with me, and I could feel the contraction in her pussy. I love to eat her pussy to, and she seems to get the best stimulus to the left side of her clit which she finally told me as I explored with my tounge. She is talking more dirty to now and I can tell from her voice is more comfortable with it to. So, from what I can see and learned, she requires A LOT of foreplay to get excited before sex. That is very important. She loves A LOT of kissing, and straddling me with our clothes on and "dry humping" my erection thru my clothes before getting serious gets her going. That is fine with me. While shopping at the mall today and sitting on a bench in public, I got an erection from just thinking about our session yesterady. I placed a shopping bag over my crotch and put her hand on my erection under the bag. She was a little shy and laughing about it, but said that got her excited doing that in public and was fun. Since she is naive and inexperienced about sex, I'm trying to teach her that sex and intimacy is about a lot of things like doing that in public, making sex fun and laughing, intimate, dirty talk, cuddling after sex (no lovers have ever done that with her, even ex husband of 20 yrs), letting me buy her lingerie, innocent flirting with each other, going to bed and NOT having sex sometimes and just talking and holding each other, kissing and caressing, holding hands in public, unexpected kisses anywhere and anytime, respect, feeding each other carrot cake (our favorite), and what ever else makes us feel good. I'm a very intimate and touchy feely person, so I do some of this in public. She isn't used to the displays of public affection from past relationships, but seems to thrive on these now. She tells me often that I'm the only lover she has ever had that cares about her sexual feelings and that she is surprised by my continued support. I know this will take longer still, but this is the most progress I've seen her make in ten months, but I will proceed cautiously and continue to hope for the best. Sorry for long email. Telecom...

My gf told me the therapist said me and her needed to attend a three hour intensive session with her partner therapist this Sat, and she wanted freaking $700! She said she was really putting a sales job on her to attend. I talked to her VERY frank last night and to the point with no bullshit. I told her if she can't work out her issues about her self image, provide some feedback while having sex, understand my kids, etc, then our relationship is OVER and DONE. I don't expect this to happen in a week, but if I don't see her trying, then I'm not putting anymore effort into the relationship and I'm moving on. I have never talked to her like this before and she was shocked, but did listen and agree. The patience and nurturing over the last ten months hasn't worked, so maybe this ultimatum will.