elise

I am not a big fan of porn videos in general, and I have to admit that one the major reasons is that I simply can't understand why the male actors pull out of the girl when they cum. I mean, how often does that happen in real life??? One of the most wonderful things about having sex with a man is feeling him cum inside me. When I see a guy in a film pull his cock out and spurt on the girl's belly or breasts and listen to her 'ecstatic' cries of joy, I just want to get up and get a drink, or maybe change the oil in my husband's sports car. It's about that appealing. But the few films I've seen where the man actually cums inside the woman are EXTREMELY hot.

Oh , I forgot to comment on your comment on price. I have been fortunate to have found a lot of good serviceable corsets for $80-$100, mostly from Fredericks. My favorite corsets, however, from specialty makers, tend to run a bit higher in price. I don't want to discourge women new to the concept by saying that the 'best' corsets are out of their price range. Yes, I have several $500 or so corsets, but a girl can get a very, very nice and VERY sexy corset for under $100 from Fredericks, Figleaves Lingerie, or other online stores. Any girl who wants to find out what a good corset can do for her figure and her sex life who can afford a computer to browse TT.com should be able to find something suitable on these sites. Mikayla, thanks for bringing up the whole corset/fetish issue! I love it!

Me too! I looked at one from Le Trousseau, but couldn't wait. The most I've spent was an unmentionable amount on a Trashy 'Hollywood Park' corset with a number of custom features.... but oh, baby, the payoff! Way yummy! I really want to get a Sherri Juricka custom model... some of her stuff is just breathtaking (like you'll ever get a breath once you've been cinched in properly in one of her masterpieces! LOL!) Anyway... my husband and I spent our post-Valentine's day day shopping for bras and corsets online, when the sales hit... looks like we'll be getting some interesting packages (ahem) next week!

We used video recorders a few times in the past, but haven't for a long time. It was fun to do (I mean, EVERY woman wonders what she looks like when she's having sex!) at the time. The first time was so long ago we had to use a rented camera. He set up the camera and played with the lighting, I put on some sexy lingerie, and we had very nice sex with the camera running. Then we watched it, and discovered it wasn't very good quality. But it got us both hot enough to try it again, with better camera placement and lights, and we kept that tape for a long time. I've never much enjoyed watching porn, but I did like watching our private video as a pre-sex activity. A few years later we had our own camera, and we used it to record a couple of much better quality videos, which we spent a lot of time (and repititions!) to get right. These are very nice to watch. We also recorded close-ups of things I wanted to see. It's easy for the man to watch his cock going in and out of the woman in any position, but it's not so easy for the woman. I wanted to see what it looks like, so he videotaped those angles and I found it very interesting and erotic. The first time I saw video of his cock in my ass I couldn't believe anything that big could fit in me! We have kept very few of these tapes, and I keep them under lock and key in the same nightstand I keep my sex toys and erotic literature. I haven't looked at them in a couple of years, but it's nice to know they are there if we ever get the desire to watch ourselves again. If you are worried about your sex tapes falling into the wrong hands, make an agreement with your husband that YOU will have custody of the tapes, and then lock them in a place that you are confident you can keep secure.

I have to confess that corsets are my fetish as well. I don't know what it is about them, but wow! Just looking at a photo of a woman in a corset can make me wet, and thinking about putting one on for my husband later tonight means I'll have to change my panties soon. I almost always wear a corset when we have sex, and have done so for years. It adds so much to the encounter. I have about two dozen corsets of various styles. Some have been worn so often they're almost threadbare, but I have such great memories of mind-blowing sex parties we've had when I've worn them that I just can't bring myself to throw them out. I keep my corsets in two separate groups... those I can put on myself, and those my husband has to help me with. I tend to prefer the latter, because choosing the corset and then getting it on and cinching it up can be a steamy experience in itself. I love the feeling of being tightly embraced when he tightens the laces, and of course it's very difficult to put on one's own stockings once tightly laced in, so there's the added pleasure of having him put my stockings on me. But it's nice to have 'easy-on' numbers as well, so if I'm in the mood to surprise him, I have the means to do so. My husband's fetish has always been garters and stockings. I never found garter belts all that comfortable though, and it wasn't until we discovered the erotic potential of corsetry that our fetishes finally meshed. Where do you buy your corsets, Mikayla? We have bought a lot from Frederick's of Hollywood (their Ultimate Satin corset is awesome, as is the Hollywood Dream), and also several from Trashy Lingerie. Trashy makes the most wonderfully fun lingerie... and while it's expensive, the fit and quality are worth every penny. There used to be a lingerie chain in Canada called La Vie en Rose, where we bought a couple of very sexy corsets many years ago. BTW, shopping for corsets with my husband, although not a common occurence, is a wonderfully erotic experience. Any girl who hasn't taken her man shopping for sexy lingerie should try it. The payoff when you get all your treasures back home is always red-hot. Yum. I have been thinking of getting one or two custom-made corsets, but these are very expensive. There is a place in San Francisco called Romantasy that does custom corsets, and one of these days when my husband has to go there on business, I think I'm going to take him shopping again!

Dahlias: Please browse through the posts on "Anal Avenue". You'll learn a LOT there. But the simple truth is many women, including me, experience a great deal of pleasure during anal intercourse. It's not a matter of there being a gland or pleasure point... it's a much more complex set of sensations than that. I'm encouraged to read that your curiosity led you to try anal sex, but I'm not surprised at the fact that you didn't feel a great deal of pleasure. It sometimes takes time, and experience, and a bit of discussion of what things to try with your partner to discover the wonderful pleasures of anal sex. I have posted a lot of my experience on "Anal Avenue", so I won't go into great detail here. But as a woman who has enjoyed anal stimulation and anal intercourse on a regular basis for many years, I can assure you that a woman can and does experience intense pleasure with a finger, a toy, a vibrator, or a nice hard cock up her ass, and the orgasms can be explosive. So don't give up on anal yet, dear.

NST: good questions. You say your first time was 'spooning', and you were pleased. Was your wife pleased? If so, continue to use this position. I have always found the most comfortable angle for penetration is when I'm bent forward with my head lower than my hips. This is easiest for me by kneeling on the bed or floor with my husband kneeling behind me. Once he's got the head of his cock nicely settled in my ass, he 'aims' at my belly-button and slides in at that angle, and it works well. Another way to do it is the woman standing and bent over, but this is trickier if she's much shorter than her man. When we do this I have to wear 6-inch heels and I'm still barely tall enough, so I usually bend over the back of an armchair which helps stabilize me so we don't fall over. Either of these positions allow VERY deep penetration, which feels fabulous. Face-to-face is one of my favorites. The girl lies on her back and pulls her legs up to her chest (I prefer to put my feet on my husband's shoulders, actually) to rock her hips forward. This gives him access to her anus. Penetration is more difficult this way, I find, so go slowly. Once the man's cock is all the way in, the woman can relax her legs a bit. I find it helps to keep my knees together during penetration, but once my husband starts thrusting it helps to spread my legs a bit. Face-to-face allows us to enjoy watching each other having pleasure, and makes my breasts and clit much more accessible to his hands. Depending on how hard the man's erection is (i.e., if he's really hard) he can grind his pubic bone on the woman's pubic bone, which can be simply mind-blowing. Face-to-face can also be done with the woman on top. This can be a lot easier for an inexperienced couple to do, since the woman controls the angle and depth of penetration all the way down, and she can move/angle her hips to make penetration more comfortable. This is the position we used the first time I got the full length of my husband's cock in my ass, and while we seldom use it now it's still a nice variation.

I agree with Mikayla. There is a bend in the rectum that gets 'straightened out' with deep anorectal penetration. I used to have a lot of discomfort when penetration reached that point, but we discovered that once his cock (it's 9 inches long) was past that point, the pleasure was fantastic! As I became more experienced with anal intercourse I gradually learned how to position and move my hips during penetration to help him get in deep really quickly so there was/is no pain at the bend. I find it difficult to get toys past this bend except after I've had anal intercourse, when I'm really open and receptive. But like Mikayla's hb, my husband seems to have the knack for getting them in. So letting your wife do the insertion for you might be just the ticket.

daisyandarose: Like Tyger, I very much the sub role in role-play, which most people would not guess about me, as I'm rather a take-charge kind of woman. But I love being in a sub role for sex play (I could never be one of those women who plays sub 24/7), which is only possible because my husband is the person I love, respect, and TRUST most on this earth. I can play sub to his DOM only because I trust him implicitly. Your post indicates you are not sexually active with your friend yet. This can be a plus, or a minus, depending on how you both play it. For us, BDSM role-playing was something we added to an already rich and varied sex life. To start your sexual relationship with BDSM role-playing might be tremendously exciting. I would advise that before you take the plunge into BDSM role-play that you sit down in a non-sexual place and time (with your clothes on!) and ask your friend what sorts of things he'd like to do to you. Ask him to be specific. If he's a bit timid, ask him to write it down in a sexy note or email, but tell him he must be explicit. If what he describes sounds exciting, then tell him so, and go ahead. If what he suggests sounds a bit scary to you, negotiate with him. Find a common set of rules you're both comfortable with and turned on by. Having a clear script that you both understand for your first role-play is a good idea. You might choose to improvise after that, who knows, but at first you should both agree to the acts you are going to perform in your game. I have a friend who had her first BDSM/bondage sex with a man she met on the internet; he was very bondage-experienced, which she was looking for. (She did all the safe stuff, of course, checking his bona fides, etc, so there were no nasty surprises.) They discussed via email what they were both into and NOT into, so when they met, it was perfect the first time. Within literally minutes of their first handshake she was bound and gagged and having fabulous orgasms, and they had a long-term relationship for several years based entirely on their BDSM needs. So it can be done with effective communication. My first BDSM situation with my husband was very mild, and spontaneous... he tied my hands behind my back with the sash from my robe and we then had straight sex, nothing more... but was it ever HOT!!! After we were done we discussed how much fun it was, and decided we'd try other things in the future. We got some books on BDSM, tried some things we liked (many kinds of bondage) and things we didn't (spanking... not my cup of tea at all!), and gradually became very comfortable with what a lot of people might call pretty kinky sex. Our BDSM role-play is usually quite scripted.. costumes, defining our roles, how dominant he's going to be, how submissive I'm going to be, and so forth. However, there is always an element of uncertainty. He as the DOM has the upper hand, always, and may deviate from the script at any time, whereas I as the sub have no options except to use the safeword/safesignal if I am truly not able to continue in the role-play. Since I hate to use the safeword/safesignal (it breaks the mood), I may find myself submitting to things I would never consent to except in the heat of the moment... and find myself enjoying these forbidden pleasures intensely! One thing we've found helpful in any roleplay, especially BDSM, is to use the word "timeout". It gives either of us to step out of character for a moment to get some clarification/consultation on something. It might be something silly like my needing to know if I should be using a French accent or an English accent. Most other things can be accomplished in character.. for instance, I might ask my master to tighten my corset-laces, which is rather a mundane/housekeeping thing, but I ask him in character and he does it in character, it can add a new dimension to the game. We use the safeword/safesignal as a FULL STOP, meaning that things have gone way past the point of psychological and/or physical tolerance, and it means the roleplay is over. So talk to your friend, do some reading, and then if you're comfortable, start simple and proceed slowly.

Howard, of course I respect your views on this too. Perhaps I wasn't clear. Of course one doesn't wait until 'the wedding night' to start discussing sexual preferences. If one is inclined to wait until vows have been exchanged before climbing into bed, well then, much more detailed and frank discussions of likes, dislikes, and absolute turn-offs will have to be engaged in. However, that is far from the norm in our society. Most couples have sex before they commit to marriage. In the context of Up And Out's initial posting, which is the context I chose to reply to/in, we are discussing how (or in my view, if) a woman should ask a man with whom she is very newly sexually acquainted to change something about his personal appearance that she finds a turn-off. My view is simply this: asking someone to change something very personal about themselves is not something to be undertaken lightly. One of my girlfriends was mortified when a new lover asked her if he'd let him pay for a breast-lift, and she stopped seeing him. Yet she admitted she really would like to have a breast-lift after nursing three children, but she felt this man's focus was on her sagging breasts, not her. How different it might have been if he had showed her he loved her breasts as they were first, the way you showed your appreciation for your wife's birthmark! Similarly, I can see someone being asked to dye their hair (happened to me... the guy wanted me to go blonde after 2 dates!), or to stop wearing certain types of clothing, etc, etc, early in a relationship as a very risky thing, a potential deal-breaker. Asking a man to shave his body in such an early stage in a relationship is something I would consider equally inappropriate. This is something that he has to learned to live with about himself, that he has come to some kind of terms of acceptance with. If you want him to change his appearance for you in such a matter, you have to earn his trust first. Otherwise he may form the impression that all she cares about is his hairiness, not he as a man. This is all I'm saying. And truthfully, I know women who would rather have a hairy man than a hairless one, even if it comes at the 'price' of a hairy back. Who knows what will happen if you allow yourself to be free with your lover, even if s/he has attributes you initially find less than attractive? As for body sugaring, I merely mention it as an alternative. Shaving works (we've done it, yes), as does waxing, but even here in 'fly-over' country body sugaring can be found if you make a few phone calls.

Well, I guess I differ on this one. People come in all shapes and sizes. Men can really vary in hairiness. And no, I'm not particularly fond of hairy men, and quite don't like back hair... but I wouldn't dream of making it a dealbreaker early in a relationship. I realize this is easy for me to say, married to one (hairy) man for more than 2 decades, but I have thought about this quite honestly for a few days before replying. Before you go to bed with someone for the first time, a lot of things should already be "right". You should know how he kisses, how good he is with his hands, his caresses, and so on. You will probably know and like his sense of humor, his manners, and so on. A thousand little things are going to be "right" before you go ahead and sleep with him. When you first see and touch his naked body, there will be a thousand new things you'll have to decide about being "right" or not. You can't really ask about those things in advance, in my experience. I do not care for small penises, as it happens. Would I ever ask a man about the size of his penis before going to bed, and if he tells me "6 inches", say "Thanks but no thanks" and walk away from the table? I think not. In my earlier (pre-marriage) life, I slept with lesser-endowed men and had a wonderful time because their other attributes as lovers made up for their shortcomings in the other places. Women aren't the only ones who have to make adjustments to lovers. I see so many young women today wearing padded bras. What do these girls think will be going on in the minds of a man who thinks he's getting a 36C that turns out to be a 32A? I would have no respect nor use for a man who wanted to know the size and shape of my breasts before he would consider sleeping with me. These things are superficial. If you get too hung up on superficialities, it does not bode well for your relationship, in my opinion. Now, the specifics of back hair. Some men have a lot of it. I don't like the feel of it, but my husband was so right in so many other respects I didn't really care about his back hair until it started to get really long and thick. By the time I had decided it was an issue, we had a rock-solid relationship and getting rid of the back hair was no big deal. He goes to a local salon where they do "body sugaring", which is a much less painful method than waxing. One treatment lasts him a month, and I get to put my hands on a nice smooth back.

Thank you, Howard. Good suggestions. And I've been there, done that! LOL!

Hmm. This topic has been going on for months and I just now discovered it? Tsk tsk! Mark me down as a swallower, Mikayla. LOL! It hasn't always been easy, but I've always swallowed. I've only given a BJ to my husband, nobody else, and we've been together quite a long time. When we were young and so crazy in love there was nothing I wouldn't do for him. We went through a period of time when we were constantly doing 69... and I would try to hold off coming until he started coming, because the sensation of him spurting down my throat was such a turn-on that it would make me come. It was easier then to take him really deep in my mouth/throat when he came, and then swallow like crazy because 1) his come tasted reallyreally bitter no matter what he ate, and 2) he has always produced a LOT of semen, and if I didn't swallow I'd be in danger of drowning! I had a girlfriend once who told me she never swallowed, but one time a guy came so much in her mouth that it literally shot out her nose! I'd much rather swallow, thanks! Now, interesting observation. My hubby's come was always quite bitter-tasting, no matter what he ate or drank. And besides, when the mood strikes a girl to get herself a drink of come, it's a little late to be asking what hubby had for lunch, it seems to me. Anyway, we went through a long period during our little-children parenting years when oral sex just wasn't something we did. In this time period he had a vasectomy. Then one day I was sucking him and I just decided I really wanted him to come in my mouth, so I really went to town, and when he came, his come tasted wonderful... sort of sweet and salty and creamy, all the tastes he'd had before, but the harsh bitter taste was gone. Anyway, I love the taste of his come now. I like to suck his cock after he's come inside me, to milk those last tasty dribbles out of him. When I blow him I try to catch as much of his come in my mouth as I can rather than swallowing it all, so I can enjoy the taste a little longer. Has anyone else noticed their man's come changed taste after a vasectomy? I'm quite curious about this.

Sorry, Rob. Just a very happy consumer. Toodles.

I am not sure I understand... are there two thigh cuffs that you can also fasten your wrists to? If so, that would be extremely hot! My favorite cuffs set is from Liberator. We had the Wedge/Ramp cushions for a couple of years before they came out with a bondage accessory set called Black Label. You take off the regular blue covers and put on the black covers, which have attachment points on them for the restraints. They come with a set of velvety wrist cuffs that are the velcro type that adjust to fit anyone, and various extender straps. Everything fits together with plastic clips that fasten and unfasten really easily and quickly (not if you're the one tied up, of course!). You can use the restraints separately, or you can use them to tie the sub down on the cushions. If you're not familiar with the Liberator cushions, check out www.liberator.com. When we bought these, I was amazed. All those frustrating years of trying to keep enough pillows stuffed under my belly to get just that right doggy angle! These cushions position my hips EXACTLY where we want them, and keep them there as long as we want. The restraint set does two things: first, it really firms up the position that I'm being held in while my husband fucks me, and second, it adds all the intense heat that being bound during sex provides. We first tried one of our favorite positions, with me bent over the Ramp with my head down and my ass in the air and the cushion firmly under my belly. I love doggy style with this firm support under my hips... it's very deep and I have amazing multiple orgasms. My husband fastened the wrist cuffs at the low end of the Ramp (by my head) and then put the ankle restraints on and fastened them to the bottom bedposts, then teased me with vibes and other toys until I was steaming, then he entered me and did what he does best.. and wow! We also ordered the optional set of thigh cuffs to use with this set and they are AMAZING. We used the same bondage setup as above, but this time he put the thigh cuffs on me and fastened them to the corners of the Wedge. This really forced my thighs wide apart, so that I was really not on me knees anymore, but supported completely by the apex of the cushion. I love having my thighs forced apart anyway, but this takes it a step further. I was absolutely unable to move my hips at all. My husband penetrated me and his thrusts soon had me ready to come, but I couldn't move my hips to bring it on.. I had to rely totally on his thrusts to bring me to orgasm, which was both frustrating and incredibly stimulating at the same time. When I finally came, it was thermonuclear. Since then we've used the thigh cuffs in other positions to hold my legs wide apart while we have sex. If you ever get tired of keeping your legs lifted high and spread wide during a prolonged encounter, you'll find the thigh cuffs can be hand, holding them up almost like stirrups. It would be great if TooTimid would start selling the Liberator products. I could give up 80% of the toys in my toybox, but I could never give up my Liberator cushions.

I have always been far more comfortable in the sub role.. but a handful of times in the past I surprised my husband by assuming the DOM role. Or trying to, anyway. Sometimes he'd go along with it and let me, which was great fun for both of us, but sometimes he'd 'fight back' and I'd end up being bound and dominated instead. The struggle for dominance in such an impromptu scenario can be extremely hot. But if you want to make the switch, talk to your man and get his agreement that you will do a switch scene. Don't schedule the day or time, but let him know what his cue will be that you're going to be the DOM. That's what I did with my husband. When he came home one Saturday afternoon and found the kids gone for the night and I stepped into the room wearing high boots and carrying a paddle, he knew what was going to happen! Make up a script for yourself beforehand. Fantasize about what sorts of things you would like to do to him (or make him do to you), have the necessary props ready, then act out your script. If you don't plan ahead the first few times, you'll hesitate. And as Mikayla points out, if you hesitate, you'll lose the momentum and the whole scene can come crashing down. Which as I said isn't necessarily bad, as Mistress Evil's orgasms can be explosive when her cowed slave suddenly turns the tables and ties her down and rapes her...

I really can't think of any sex toy my husband would be intimidated by. BTW, he usually buys our toys. We may surf the net together and talk about this one or that one, but we never buy anything together. Then a few days later the nice UPS man (the one with the GREAT ass!) comes to my door with a surprise for me. I have hinted that I would like to try the John Holmes dong, but it hasn't appeared yet. Hmm. Come to think of it, I haven't seen the UPS guy for a while, and my birthdayis coming up... mmm, yummy! LOL!

Yes, I can have nipple orgasms sometimes, too. Welcome to the club! My husband gives them to me by sucking my nipples and breasts. I seem to be able to do this only in the two or three days before I get my period. My nipples are definitely more sensitive then. For some reason I have to have a nipple orgasm in my left breast first, then he'll switch to my right breast and I'll have one there, too. It never works if we start on the right. I have no idea why. Something else you might want to try: after I've had nipple orgasms and we've done a few other fun things, my husband will slide his cock deep inside me and just hold it there, not thrusting, and I'll hold my breasts up for him so he can suck my nipples. Nipple orgasms with a nice big hard cock in my pussy are out of this world!

Anal plugs are a totally different experience from vibes, in my experience. We use different plugs for different purposes. Plugs are meant to be inserted and then left there, sometimes for extended periods of time, sometimes during other sexual activity. Until you and your wife have learned what really works for you both, there's a chance you'll buy the wrong types. So I recommend you start with this kit: http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=3195 The plugs are advertised as small, medium, and large, but I'd call them XS, S, and M. The smallest one is really too small, but both the medium and large plugs will stay in her (or your) ass quite easily. I introduced my husband to anal penetration with the small one, and it was all he needed. Men are not used to being penetrated as much as women are, I guess. We still use this plug set quite often. We get into a lying on our sides 69 thing, then he inserts the large plug into my ass and I insert the medium one into his ass. Then we move on to vaginal intercourse. Having the plugs in while we fuck is very hot. The plugs stay in well enough, but sometimes one or the other will slip out. We just suspend activities for a bit, reinsert, and get back at it. The large vibrator in this kit isn't my favorite anal vibe, but I've used it in my husband's ass when I'm giving him a blowjob, and it definitely pops his cork in a hurry. For a woman with short fingers or long nails, this kind of plug is a great way to give your man anal and prostate stimulation during oral sex. I like to use anal stimulation when I masturbate, and for this I like a more textured plug. My favorite in this category looks something like this one: http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4802 I like to use alternating slow and fast thrusting with this one while I use vibe on my clit. The ripples are incredibly stimulating... one in-and-out thrust cycle can turn my knees to jelly. My husband sometimes uses this one in me, too. It's good with cunnilingus, and it's great when I'm on top riding his cock and he surprises me with it from behind. Mmmm! For more extended sex play, like a dirty weekend at a hotel away from the kids, or a long car trip, my husband likes to have me wear something inside me while we're out and about. It can be a challenge to not have an orgasm public (or to disguise it so people won't know I'm coming right then and there!) but we've learned to pick and choose what we use and where. Ben-wa balls in my pussy are probably my favorite, but when we're both in an anal mood, my husband will insert a really large buttplug and I'll wear it for up to several hours. Usually by the time I'm ready to take the plug out, it's only because I need to replace it with his cock! Here's a few examples of good longer-wear plugs: http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=3116 http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4624 http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4379 These plugs all have the features I like in a long-wear plug: 1) the part that stays inside is very thick, so I get the sensation of real fullness; 2) the narrow part above the base isn't too narrow, so my anus feels stretched (some plugs are too narrow, and I can hardly feel them in my anus, which is NO fun!), and 3) the wide base ensures the plug won't accidentally slip up inside me and get lost!!! This type of plug feels great because it stimulates your PC muscles constantly, so you are constantly doing Kegels. Two or three hours of Kegels will make any woman incredibly horny. BTW, these plugs CAN fall out, especially if the wearer has an orgasm. I don't worry about this in the car, but if I'm anywhere else, I wear a leather thong panty that's quite tight and really holds the plug in there. You could wear tight jeans and accomplish the same thing, but I prefer to wear skirts when I've got a plug in. That way when I'm ready for my husband to penetrate me he has access to my pussy and/or ass in seconds. When my ass has been primed with one of these plugs for as long as I can stand it, anal intercourse is unbelievably good for me. Again. keep us posted on what works for you and your wife.

bstein: I thought I might add a few more details for the benefit of you and your wife. Actually, I'm doing this because Howard PM'd me and encouraged me to do so, and my husband thought it would be a good idea, too. So give them all the credit! Vibrators are a great way to train her anus to relax and stretch. The vibrations just feel so damn good that it relaxes the sphincter muscles. A good beginner vibe should be straight and smooth, like this: http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4251 My first anal vibe was a lot like this one. The little knob on the tip feels GREAT going in and coming out. And it's nice and slim in the shaft, which is comfortable for a newbie. Also, you mentioned that she likes your fingers really deep in her ass, so the length of this vibe should please her. Use it while you're licking her pussy, first on the outside, then slowly inside. Once you've got it in really deep, work it around to find where she's most sensitive. My husband tells me I go wild when he angles it toward the back and rocks it slightly in and out. After she is used to that one, you might go with something a bit bigger: http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=4795 This type of vibe stretches the anus more, makes it feel fuller, but also reaches in deep where I'm most sensitive. Here is my absolutely favorite anal vibe: http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=5008 I know it looks quite plain, but it's got all the features I like best. It doesn't have the strongest vibrations in my toy chest, but it's strong enough. It has three speeds. We usually start with the slowest speed. The 'head' is bigger than the shaft, and it's a moderately good sized head at that, so insertion can be a bit of a challenge the first few times she tries it. Just remember to use lots of lube and insert it slowly, with lots of mouth action on her pussy at the same time. Once you get past the widest part, it pops right in, which feels really good. You go from feeling reallly stretched to just nicely stretched but really penetrated instantly. My husband tells me he inserts this one into my anus with the head pointing up, i.e., toward my stomach, then once it's inside, he turns it around so the head points toward the back. This turning thing can be really hot, because of the angles on the shaft, and the way the head moves inside me. Once it's pointed toward the back, he pushes it in until the wide base starts to stretch my anus. This feels awesomely good, because I have the sensations of being really filled and deeply penetrated at the same time. I am very sensitive to deep penetration (vaginal as well as anorectal), so if your wife is too, she'll love this vibe. Also, the thinner shaft with wide head and wide base allows this vibe to be used 'hands-free' during vaginal intercourse. If I'm on my back and my husband is on top, I can rock back and press the vibe into the mattress or pillow for more anal stimulation, or rock up for more vaginal/clitoral stimulation. If I'm on top, I'll face toward his feet and lean forward to get the best angle for cock and vibe, and then just rock on both. Once your wife gets to the point of being able to take a large vibrator in her ass, she's probably going to be able to take your cock without difficulty. Use lots of foreplay, lots of lube. Use your mouth on her pussy and your fingers in her ass, then get out more lube and the vibrators. Work your way up from slim to thick, and if she's like I was in my early anal days, she'll probably be much more relaxed if she has an orgasm or two with the vibrator, then when she's ready, lube your cock and slowly penetrate her ass. If you've done your preparation well, she'll love it. I'll deal with butt plugs in another post. Elise

Congratulations on "tricking" your wife into enjoying anal stimulation. It's encouraging that your wife was so enthusiastic that she wanted to try anal intercourse right away, but as you've found out it's really difficult to do. It takes time for a woman to become comfortable with a really large object in her anus, whether toy or penis. If it helps, let me say that I was like your wife at first, i.e., not at all interested in having anything in my ass. In my case, my husband used his fingers/thumb in my ass (depending on position, as you have discovered) during oral sex and during vaginal sex. In essence, this helped me learn to incorporate the sensations of anal stimulation into my existing sexual responsiveness. The first time I really enjoyed anal stimulation was a surprise to both of us... he was licking my pussy, his fingers were wet and doing wonderful things to me, then suddenly his finger brushed my anus and next thing I knew I was coming my brains out with his finger up my ass! From that night forward, cunnilingus always involved a finger in my ass. After a few weeks of that, we found that two fingers felt even better, and a few weeks later, we found that if my clit was getting a good tonguing, with the help of some lube he could push my vibrator (plain-jane smooth vibe, which was all we had at that time) up my ass. That was the night we discovered having a pillow handy to stuff into my mouth to stifle my screams was a good idea. LOL! It was only after I'd had several multiorgasmic sessions with the vibrator in my ass that I began to believe I could accomodate my husband's cock. I wanted him to fuck my ass, but his cock is really ver large, which was intimidating. I have to give him credit: through all of this he never suggested or asked to fuck me in the ass... he'd just make me come with clitoral and anal stimulation, and then he would fuck my pussy to reach his orgasm. We also used fingers and toys in my ass while we fucked, of course. More on that in a minute. Finally one night I made my decision to go through with it. My husband was totally willing to try it, of course. We started with lots of kissing and foreplay, then moved on to pussy-licking with fingers in my pussy and in my ass, then when I couldn't hold back any longer I told him to put his cock in my ass. He stroked my clit with wet fingers as he penetrated my ass and there was no pain, even though he felt HUGE in me. Between his fingers and his cock I came explosively in seconds, and he followed after only a few hard thrusts. We have enjoyed regular anal intercourse ever since.. we're coming up our ten-year anal anniversary soon! The point of all this is to illustrate that some girls need a lot more time to get ready for all-out buttfucking. It was probably a year from my first anal-assisted orgasm to our first anal intercourse. In that year we probably had sex 150 times or so, and nearly every time my anus was being stimulated in one fashion or another, and when the time came to lose my anal virginity, it was an ecstatic experience. If you think it will help, you might share my experience with your wife. She's probably feeling discouraged at not being able to take your cock in her ass. Let her know that it's okay to take time to get that point. In the meantime, I would encourage you to use your fingers and thumbs in her ass whenever you can. And don't be afraid to try some toys, too. Here's a few suggestions for anal stimulation during vaginal intercourse that really worked (and still do!) for me: 1) I'm on top with his cock deep in my pussy. I lean forward on his chest and he inserts one or two fingers in my ass. His fingers do most of the work, and I just grind my clit on his pubic bone. Very intimate position. Use of a small vibrator instead of fingers is a good variation on this. 2) In the middle of an extended really hot fuck, I'm on my back with my feet on my husband's shoulders, and he's kneeling with his cock just barely in my pussy. He then fingerfucks my ass with two fingers while very slowly pushing his cock deeper into my pussy. A lot of times I come as he reaches maximum penetration. A nice variation on this: he inserts a G-spot vibrator in my ass instead of fingers. The wider 'head' of this type of vibe keeps it firmly in my ass, hands-free, so he can use his fingers elsewhere. My favorite vibe for this has a really wide base, so I can get the sensation of real fullness in both holes at once. 3) Buttplugs can be fantastic. There's a 'beginner's kit' they sell here at tootimid that has 3 different silicone butt plugs. The smallest one is really too small for me, but your wife will probably want to start with that one. Inserting the buttplug during cunnilingus is a nice way to start, and you can try graduating to the medium or even the large buttplug in one session. Depending on how she likes it, she can come while you lick her, or she can tell you when she's on the brink of coming, then go ahead and have vaginal intercourse in whatever position you like. Because the narrow part of the plug nestles comfortably in the anal canal, both the medium and large plugs will stay in her ass during vaginal intercourse in almost any position. 4) One of the best variants on #3: after inserting the plug, turn her over and fuck doggy style. Try to thrust really deep, not pulling out much at all on the backstroke. Your pubic bone will ride on the wide base of the buttplug, which will move the plug in her ass very nicely. This technique produces explosive multiples for me. 4) One of my absolute favorites involves two vibrators and my husband's cock. It's basically #2 (above), but we use a vibe on my clit as well. I invariably go into continuous orgasm mode doing this, and when my husband finally comes I'm just jelly. BTW, if she's a screamer and you don't want to traumatize the children, you may want to put a gag in her mouth before you turn the vibrators on! Hope this helps. Good luck with your anal adventures, and keep us posted!

OMG! I hope I didn't offend any of our multinational Euro-Friends! Howard: I am puzzled. Why would the SWISS need a navy? Are they not a landlocked country? Wait... I understand now. If you were a sailor in the Swiss Navy, one's landlocked status would likely be eNOURmously frustrating... hence the need for some serious lube to relieve that frustration. I am SO glad we had this conversation! Smooches...

Mmmm. Everything Howard said. Very good advice. Clearly, this man has been paying attention! But, hmm. If you're new to having sex, which I get the impression you are, you need to pay attention to your lover(s), to what seems to turn them on, and what turns you on. I've always been turned on by holding a man's ass as he's thrusting into me, feeling the power of his thrusts in his muscles in addition to the sensations his cock is making inside me. With a man who is timid, it seems to spur him on to greater effort, and with a man who is overpowering, well, it gives me something to hang on to! Speaking of spurs, I highly recommend wearing stiletto heels... as my girlfriend calls them, "man-spurs". It's amazing what raking them across your lover's flanks can do. And BTW, don't be shy about only having fun when you're on top. It takes some girls a while to get her jones on under a man. Do what feels good and let it grow. Don't be afraid to say what feels good and what feels boring. Your lover will appreciate it, if he's worth being with!

Hmmm. Don't want to disagree with the experts, but I've had to resort to "lotion" for lube for anal sex once or twice, and it didn't do any harm. It isn't as good as Astroglide or Swedish Navy Lube (why do they need anal lubricants in the Swedish Navy? don't want to go there.... ick!) or even Vaseline (which is better than most "anal" lubes, in our experience), but it's better than nothing if it's all you've got on hand. Heck, we even used butter once, a la "Last Tango In Paris"! But seriously, invest in some good purpose-made lube. The Astroglide gel form is our preferred anal sex lubricant, and my favorite for use with anal toys.

howard, likapus... thank you. I appreciate your kind words. But let's not forget that this is a two-way street (not that you're implying otherwise, but some might infer it...). Howard, I am deeply saddened by your experience. A young woman who thinks her uterus makes her the 'owner' of her child, like a person 'owns' a puppy, is gonna be in for a rude awakening in 12 or 13 years... at which point an "alpha" male in the household comes in real darn handy, and without which she (mother or child) is in deep trouble. A young woman with young children, as I've previously posted, can get stuck on societal issues that have no more to do with real life than, say Tara Banks' breasts have to do with mine. (Sorry boys, but almost none of us have hooters like Tara's, no matter what Playboy and the lingerie catalogs would have you believe...) Which brings up my other fundamental observation, which is that a man is out of his MIND to think that the mother of his newborn child is going to be as interested in sex/snuggles/whatever as she was when they were new lovers. Young husbands need to recognize their shared responsibilities in the kitchen, laundry room, etc. Marriage and raising a family is a partnership. Unfortunately, too many people fail to understand that, on both sides. But I'll tell you this, young men: do a couple loads of laundry (and by this I mean do them RIGHT, folded and put away) and your woman is going to be far more likely to want to make love with you than she will be if you spend the evening in front of Monday Night Football. Just a subtle hint, boys.