whittibo

I had a lengthy talk with him last night and we got a lot sorted out. He said he knew there was a problem but didn't know how to solve it. He told me he loves me and was very sorry. I am sure we'll fall into the same rut over and over again, but I have to not let it get that far out of control anymore and not keep it pent up. It's hard to talk to a man when I am not from a family who talks and neither is he. And our lives out of the bedroom is wonderful when our bedroom life is functioning. I think we BOTH try to stay away from each other when we're both miserable. So hopefully that will change again now too.

I used to have to take my youngest to the local school (prior to her being IN school) for speech therapy twice a week. When I see 8 year olds wearing leather pants, high heals and tight shirts, it's enough to make my stomach turn. My kids are not typical home schoolers that you think of when you think of home schoolers. I don't make them wear dresses and have long straight hair and they have to keep their mouths shut. They talk back to me just like teenagers do. They have social interactions, they are just well behaved kids and most of that is due to home schooling. I am an introvert. I have social anxieties. I knew I could not/would not be able to work in a school setting. I am fine around kids, just not adults and most of that comes from my own dad telling me all my life I wasn't good enough. Wasn't pretty enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough, my legs were too fat, my boobs were different sizes. Also living in CA where EVERYONE has to be a supermodel, well that eats away at your self esteem as well. So I knew I wouldn't be active in my kids schooling IF they went to public school. We were around public school kids, we didn't want our kids to act like that. And frankly I didn't want my kids to go through the peer pressure I had to go through. I have been home schooling my kids for 10 years now. I started when very few families were doing it. I have never regretted my choice to home school and in fact it's been a huge blessing since my two younger kids have ADD and are dyslexic, like me. My oldest thought she might want to go to school this year as she is a Freshmen, but we all, as a family decided it was better to keep her home. And honestly, every kid in this neighborhood tells my kids how lucky they are that they get to be home schooled. One young boy, his mom is a teacher at the local high school, a very GOOD high school and she was considering pulling him out and letting him learn at home. :s It's a personal choice, and I don't try to talk anyone into doing it, if people ask, I tell them, otherwise, I respect their decision to send their kids to school. It's not for everyone, that's for sure. But just like I respect everyone else's choice to send their kids to school, I appreciate others respecting MY choice not to.

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I was horney as all get out when I was pregnant, it's after the babies are born that I don't want to be touched. I am tired, have had a kid sucking on me all day, needing me to do everything for them, and the last thing I want is to have to get my husband off too. But that might just be MY relationship since sex isn't all that great in my marriage and it IS all me having to do all the work all the time. So as others have said, you'll just have to find out for yourself. But talk to your wife, I know I hated the thought of him touching my breasts, he enjoyed it, but I felt like they were for the babies, NOT him.

WHEW!! Big sigh of relief from me too. That just sounds insane, I am glad you didn't get caught up in it. No doubt you did the right thing!

Boy, I have been sheltered all my life, I have never heard of anything like this and it would scare the shit out of me. You want a husband, a life long partner, NOT some other man. I would run as fast as I could away from this situation. When I first started reading your post, I thought, "ahhhh.. the guy wants to have a pure relationship until they get married". That was my husbands intentions and I didn't understand it at first, thought he must not love me if he didn't want to have sex with me, but he respected me and didn't want to spoil me, even though I wasn't a virgin, he was. But gosh, this isn't at all what your guy wants. :s

Tyger, what was the product??

Agreed. I have fantasies too, but would NEVER want them acted upon.

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1.) How do you know it won't be a wham-bam thing? Is he still friends with all the other girls he has slept with?? 2.) So what you're the lass in the corner, you will find the right guy for you, and you will have something special to share with him. Don't jump in the sac with any man who "wants it", because honestly, they all do. You have only ONE time to lose your virginity, save it for someone who you love and deserves it. Sex as a teen is over rated, once you have it, then you think you have to have it with all your boyfriends. (well I did anyway) and that's one thing I can never change about my past. My current husband, when I met him, he wouldn't sleep with me. I was shocked and thought he didn't care about me. He said, "I DO love you, that's why I won't disrespect you by sleeping with you". That's what you want, a man who loves YOU and respects you enough to wait.

EXCELLENT ADVICE!

I have been getting the depo shot for almost 9 years now, I was on it before my 3rd daughter was born too, so a total of about 13 years or so. LOVE IT!!! I have no ill side effects, and don't have periods which is a big one for me. I would have horrible mood swings and cramps and back aches and I have none of those now. I had a hard time with the pill, I would get nauseated by them and that's never fun. I know now they have better ones on the market, I haven't taken the pill for about 14 years maybe.

Whittbo, I do understand the mommy factor, but I believe (moreso now than ever) that husband & wife have to come BEFORE the kids at least part of the time. It can't always be about the kids or that's all that will be left. ABSOLUTELY! And what Tyger says is 100% true, but for me, I didn't feel that way. I was exhausted and sex was more work. I would rather sleep then to do more work. Am I glad that happened? NO, but it did, so I can understand why other "mom's" might have the same feelings. As for the working poor, that is so us. We didn't have family to watch our kids, and no money to pay a sitter AND go out, so we just always had the kids around, no special nights out for us. But not sure that would have made a difference for me or not?

I have the wedge and LOVE it. Not just for sex either, sitting up in bed, like to eat ice cream, it's nice. Also, when I was sick and had to prop myself up, this worked well too. I tell my kids that's what it's for. And YES, if TooTimid gets them, I will buy them. I want the Esse, and was prepared to buy it 2 months ago when they had a 10% off sale but we had just sold our house. So I asked if I could buy it at the discounted rate then have it delivered later and I could, but I chickened out since we're talking $400 here. I still want the Esse, in fact my husband just asked me a few days ago when our "sofa" was getting here. I told him I never ordered it. I love my wedge and would love to have all the pieces, but don't have room for them. I might get brave enough to buy them all for my "Den" we're doing, instead of putting a sofa sleeper in there, I could put all these pieces and just let the kids play/sit/lay on them. Just once in awhile rotate one to the bedroom.

Another one for me is "giving head" I understand this in the way a woman gives a man head is she sucks his head. But some men refer to giving their wives head. That makes no sense to me.

See, I keep going back to the fact that until about 4-5 months ago, I could have easily lived without sex, EVER. I never wanted sex, and that's been for at least 14 years. I have no emotional issues, just was overwhelmed as a mommy. I also home school, so that's always another weight on my shoulders, but that hasn't changed, just my kids have gotten older.

I was never molested, never taught that sex was bad, in fact, the opposite, my mom told me at 16 to get on birth control, told me WHERE TO GO for it even. This was because she was pregnant at 16 and never wanted the same thing to happen to me. So instead of teaching me abstinence, she pretty much told me it was OK as long as I protected myself. Anyway, I think sometimes hormones play a bigger role, and so does being a mommy. Having babies suck on you and hold on you and whine and complain and just be babies and toddlers, it's hard to think about anything besides going to sleep or relaxing. Sex for me wasn't good, my husband is the one who doesn't want to try anything new, his idea of foreplay is to put his hand on my shoulder and if I don't respond with cuddling, he feels rejected. Stupid I know, but that was part of the reason I never wanted sex either. Now the way I see it, the reason your wife climbed on top the night she did was, she was ovulating, which would also be why she is now pregnant. Women have sex drives when they are ovulating, our bodies WANT to be pregnant, they crave sex when we're ovulating just like a dog in heat. The rest of the time, a dog doesn't go seek out sex right?? So her not being on birth control can be a two edged sword at this point, one because of the risk of pregnancy, (which isn't a risk anymore) but until she got pregnant, perhaps she was feeling like she didn't want more at that point?? Just stating my feelings and opinions here, I might be wrong, but this is just what comes to my mind and what has happened in my situation.

I remember my husband just rolling over in bed made me want to puke. And he isn't a gentle sleeper, when he rolls over he FLIPS over. Still drives me nuts to this day, I need one of those beds that can be jumped on and not felt. As for her desire, I think if you have young kids at home, that might be part of the "reason". I know for me, when I was nursing and being "mom" all day to little ones, the last thing I wanted was my husband sucking on me or hanging on me. I would pretend to be asleep or involved in a good TV show to get his attention off me. It's just been recently that my libido has stepped up a bit. My kids are 14, 12 and 8.5, so it's been a few years that my husband was lucky to get it once a month. The other problem in our relationship is sex was boring. No foreplay, nothing special, he wouldn't even get nekid in front of me, but UNDER the covers. Not really a big turn on ya know. So look at your relationship and see if anything is lacking in that department. Is sex always the same for you? Do you only give her sexual attention once you two are in bed? My husband wouldn't' even kiss me hello or even really talk to me, but once we were in bed, his idea of foreplay was to touch my shoulder. Things haven't really changed that much, but a little bit of ingenuity on my part has helped, hopefully it will keep improving.

Well I also was plagued with morning, noon and night sickness, for me the only thing that helped me feel better was Mc Donald's French fries. In order for me to get anywhere, I would have to eat those so I would ward off the sickness for awhile. Oddly enough I read on another forum recently that someone else was helped by the fries too. Sadly, Mc Donald's has changed their grease, so if it was the oil that they were cooked in, my trick might not work now?? Other then that... I haven't a clue, but one thing to keep in mind is, it's not personal about you. Perhaps while she's dealing with the horrible, continual sickness, you can comfort yourself??

Good question! I will be watching for answers!

Welcome home! So glad you're on the mend. Take care of yourself!

I don't recall any consistency in my husbands cum, just taste, which as we all know, can change from time to time. It's not the consistency or the taste that gets me excited, it's just the idea of the whole thing for me.