thurisas

It seems to me that you just need to give him a little direction down there. Chances are he's comfortable with what he's doing because its working, or at the very least he thinks its working perfectly well. As always, communication is the key. A simple "oh, do that again" when he gets it just right...or a "don't stop". The only way he'll get out of that comfort zone(I've been in this position myself before) is if you talk to him about it. It's been mentioned here before but I'll say it again, good lovers are made, not born. I can't imagine not exploring, but then, I love giving oral. As far as the bullet, perhaps he just hasn't seen how much more intense your reactions will be when he uses it on you, and maybe you just need to show him what you like. Expiriment on your own. On the flip side of the coin, maybe you haven't found the right places to put it on his shaft, balls, and the areas around them. I think once that happens, the willingness to use toys will open up. I know it did for me. I'd love to give you advice on the cock rings, but we've only just started using them ourselves so I'll just say this... Some go around the shaft, some around the shaft and balls, some have bullets, some have two loops(one for shaft and one for balls). The idea is to restrict the bloodflow one way and to keep him harder. The orgasms for him will be explosive if used right, and you'll get a slightly fuller feeling. I hope some of this helps you out. Thurisas

I don't know that I've ever gone down on a woman and not liked the smell or taste. Of course, as long as you keep yourself clean, there's no reason I can see that he should...but then, I just really like giving oral sex so I'm biased. Thurisas.

Okay, you'll feel a seam going around the middle of the vibe. This is where it opens, it is also where the vibe turns on and off. To open it, it isn't a twist. You have to hold it above the seam and below the seam and then bend it away from itself (almost as if you were going to break the sucker in half). We have this vibe and I just pulled it out to look at it. Good luck and have fun. Thurisas.

I have done this once in a business I owned outright, but would never do so with an employee. Sexual harrassment suits scare the bejeebers out of me. I can't imagine starting a relationship in this day and age at the workplace. I work for a corporation now where they even tell us not to give our employees a ride home so that no 'misunderstandings' can happen. Thurisas

Actually, that was my post, no Tyger's. My point was that you are a lawyer and you know the proper questions to ask to be able to read between the lines to get to the truth of a story, or at least a likely truth. Most people don't have that training and are not practiced in doing so. I agreed that it could possibly help some, but I would be cautious about that sort of thing. I have one ex who was fairly...well, to be polite, we'll call her fairly off. I know to this day that any word she may have to say about me would be less than flattering even though I ended our engagement because she cheated on me. This is why I suggest caution. Thurisas.

A stuffed animal

This sounds eerily familiar to me. My wife and I had problems that sound much like yours. After some time dating we moved in together. The sex dropped off sharply. I would try to talk to her, she wouldn't want to, I'd push to talk, we'd fight, we'd make up, be civil, she'd complain about what I wasn't doing, I'd complain about what I wasn't getting, we'd fight, I'd push to talk, eventually we started to drift apart. The trump card in our relationship is that we'd been friends long before we'd been lovers. There was a pre-existing bond there. We slid back into our roles as friends only we happened to be room mates. Low and behold with the pressure off we started talking eanestly about US again. Soon the things we fell in love with were apparent again in one another. It takes a lot of work on both parts though. I don't know your whole situation but I kind of wonder, like Howard, if you might not benefit from counseling. Probably so, until you go, though, try dating her again and treating her like a friend and less as a wife...who knows what sorts of doors that can open up for you. Thurisas.

While this might give a good insight in some instances, I think it is dangerous ground to tread. As a lawyer, you're trained to ask the right questions to get the right answers. I worry for those who don't have such skills. I worry further for someone talking to the ex in what was a bad relationship. You'll get the version of events tainted through the person's own bias and their own version of the relationship. Thurisas.

I have to say that I agree with CGEM on some things. Sex doesn't start in the bedroom. It starts long before and, with me and my wife, is a constantly building thing throughout the day. I think one forgets this the longer they're in a relationship. I know we did. We would literally go for months and months without sex. It turned out to be a fault with both of us. Through communication(verbal and non-verbal) we were able to put a bit of spark back in our relationship just by starting to do all those things you would do when dating. Now, a day generally doesn't go by that I don't unexpectedly give my wife a hug that may or may not end up with me sneaking a kiss on her neck(which almost always gets her going). One last thing I will add...I don't think you should ever feel guilty about asking for your turn. Ever. It's a two way street and making it fun and pleasurable for both of you is what it's about. I've mentioned it briefly before, but there is NOTHING that turns me on more than getting my wife off. I simply can't understand men who don't have that same inclination. Incidentally, now that you've found this site, I think your husband is in a bit of trouble. I know when the wife started visiting here frequently, our sexlife got MUCH MUCH more enjoyable. Thurisas.

Welcome. There is a ton of information here that can be helpful. In my own short time since being here, I've learned quite a bit. The people here are also very friendly and helpful. Hopefully you'll enjoy your time here as much as I have. Thurisas

I work in retail pharmacy. One Valentine's day I had a woman come up to the counter with some items that just made me smile internally. 1 box of 12 pleasurepack condoms 1 fifth of Allen's Coffee Brandy(yes, we carry the old-style medicines at the pharmacy in maine too) 1 set of hand-cuffs from the toy section. 1 tube of KY. 1 heart shaped box of chocolates Thurisas.

This may just be me, but I don't think you should underestimate just how much fun he IS having. Personally, I absolutely love getting my wife off and finding new and fun ways to do so. That might not always show in my face but it ALWAYS becomes evident down below. Sometimes I climax just trying to get her to climax. There's just no telling how much fun he's having until you ask. Thurisas

I think you mistook me, Howard. I have no troubles using toys and am actually becoming more proficient with them with every use by the explosive sounds my wife makes and the way her body can't seem to be still. I was actually talking about body massages. Like I said, after a few minutes, my hands seem to cramp up. It's possible it is a circulation problem, I suppose, and talking to my doctor might just be helpful. I'd pretty well thought that practice would get me through it but the ache is enough so, and my hands become so stiff that, it's hard to want to do that. Thanks for the input, though. Thurisas.

In keeping with the recurring advice of making it adventuresome and fun, I would have to say Brad Paisley's "Ticks" is ideal. Thurisas.

Well, here's the deal. My wife absolutely loves rubs and massages of most any kind. She probably thinks to the contrary due to the fact that she rarely gets them, but I actually like giving them to her as well. The problem? After literally a few minutes my hands start to cramp up. I've tried to push through the pain and I've tried using massage oils on her, tried dry, and tried just plain rubs with light pressure. I seem to cramp up just the same. I personally don't care for using massaging aids because I think part of the thrill for both us is my hands on her body. We have tried some massagers in the past and they just don't seem to work out so well. So I guess I'm asking for suggestions to help get my hands some staying power. Thurisas.