jhard

Oh Miss Angelwings, You have been very open about your situation, which I think is a step towards getting it in a direction more to your liking. You say that you do not enjoy sex very much. From what I know about women (most limited) I think that it is hard for woman to seperate sexual enjoyment from love. It is a fair bit easier for guys to seperate the two, but even for guys it takes the love part to close the circle to where satisfaction is complete. Personally, I do not think that you need professionsal help. Save your money. Keep going to your job or school or whatever it is you do and perhaps consider putting this fwb on hold if you can and just pause while you figure out who you have always wanted to be, and still intend to be. Don't ever give up on that! When you find a guy who really loves you then release yourself and let your passion flow, do not hold back. When a woman holds back at this point she starts robbing from her sincere man that which was meant to be. The porno world we live in has created or sired so many insincere assholes that I truly believe it is hard for a woman to pick out the man who is true. Since my youth I have thought it wrong to mislead a lady knowingly for temporary satisfaction only to leave her "lost" and feeling like a "slut". Wishing you all the best, j

Well hey there MsLayD, I won't call you a slut if you don't call me a slut! Never had no cold feet cuz my mid section was wayyyy to hot! I thought that all women liked to give head and were as horny as I was/am, with time I started realizing that this was not the case and I was mistaken. When you are really passionate and your partner is not it can get difficult at times. I'll tell ya, the way to a man's heart is through his cock, not his stomach. j

whatever happened to chat?

Hi Taina, First off, your husband should thank his lucky stars that your are looking into this (for the both of you) Our background is like yours. Simple things. Do something to get him to orgasm once before you have intercourse, handjob blowjob anything. My wife did not experience orgasm until she was almost 40 years old, and then only with a very strong vibe right on her clit. Go for it, if you want to go straight to the toy that works buy the Hitachi Magic Wand and plug it in. If he cums once beforehand, I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the intercourse afterwards with the wand between your pelvic bones. cheers, jhard

Well hello there MsLayD, I hope all is going well for you. I can only respond to your question from a guys perspective. I'll start out by saying that I am always on, always. However, I still get great satisfaction from the following fantasies that occur all to seldom. 1) My wife getting on top of me and pushing her pussy into my face and directing me as to how she wants it handled. Being "turned into" a tool of pleasure for the one you love is a great thrill. 2) My wife (who is prudish) telling me to go wash my cock because she wants to suck it. Although I have told her many times that this would be a turn on for me (the anticipation) it has not happened.....yet. 3) Tell your man that you expect him to be hard and ready to fuck you hard at a certain time. This would get me shifting gears in a hurry. Oh before I forget, tell him to pull your hair! That is a great turn on as well. Hope that some of this is a bit of a help, if not feel free to post "problems" alongside all the rest of us married and committed folks. (my attempt at humor) Wish you and yours all the best that marriage can offer, jhard

Whatever else happens, do not marry a guy who expects oral if you are not willing to give it. Save both of you the trouble. jhard

To those who think my marriage is eroding, I just want to say that I think my marriage is actually pretty great. We get along great and I accept that fact that she has her own free will re giving and receiving oral sex (she hates both) and live with the fact that I am extremely passionate and have on occasion received a blowjob elsewhere. And for the record, yes I do feel bad about it. Very likely that I won't do it again, who knows. When I read here about women that blow thier guys while they are sleeping and other women who go out of thier way to be able to deep throat thier guys and then make swallowing motions for thier SO satisfaction, well I just about go nuts. That is the kind of passionate sex life that I have always dreamt of. I have waited a long time, read many books and am about back where I started in terms of oral. I have finally realized that it is not me, it is her. I accept her that way, just as she accepts me with my shortcomings. All of this is part of the ebb and tide that we call love and marriage. j

I understand the resentment part well, but for different reasons. He, being a good guy, probably has a big concern about providing a strong family environment for his kids and this is a reason why some guys will not go for a divorce. If he won't go for a divorce, he may as well get a girlfriend of sorts. Personally, I would tell my wife that I will get my sex elsewhere and do my best not to get an STD and she can live with that or not, I really would'nt care anymore. A person can decide for themselves not to have sex, but they can not indefinately expect thier partners to live without it. My wife hates giving oral. A while back she eventually told me I could go and pay for it. Well, I have tucked that little permission slip away and have made use of it on occasion. Does it bother me, sure. I finally figured out that if I left things as they were I would have lived and died without oral sex. I don't think it is worth ending a marraige over, so I just follow her suggestion. She is the big loser here and she does'nt even know it. All of this was after being eaten alive by resentment for a long time. j

Hi Mikayla, With that kind of attention I'll bet you even have hubby doing housework! A happy man is a helpful man. Good for you, jhard

IMO, moontide and firefighter are right on the money. While reading your post, I was thinking "damn, sounds like he just got married!" Anyway, be glad that this is happening to you before you married the gal. jhard

Most guys I know would consider "LOL" and "yeah" to be positive responses to sexual messages, thereby inviting more. j

We have tried it and my wife says it is not enough stimulation for her. The blue dolphin dual bullet unit is great and like my wife says....it has several speeds! j

I would rate the vibes good and better Seriously, on a scale of 1-10 (10 highest) I would say that the lower setting is a 7 and the higher setting is a 9.5. I can't imagine someone starting out at the higher setting, but when you have been exposed to the lower setting for a while and need to be pushed over...just switch to the higher setting and grind hard......(instructions by j ) I bought the nubby and the inserty j

I bought the magic wand from TT, I recently ordered the attachments as well. Two speeds baby! j

Thank you both, ladies. Since I have bought toys a little over a year ago, she has been having somewhat regular orgasms during sex. The couples toys are great, especially the blue dolphin dual bullet toy. She is not able to bring herself to orgasm without toys, and I can't do it with my fingers (she does not like oral) either. Yesterday we were using the hitachi magic wand (great tool by the way) and she was on top. I was holding back but when I realized that I could'nt hold it any longer I started thrusting for all I'm worth, with the magic wand on high between us (against her clit). With the first bang she almost exploded and it only got better with each thrusting collision. I was concerned that it was hitting her to hard, and ordinarilly it would have been much to hard, but then in that instant it was apparantly just what the doctor ordered. First time she ever called my name while cumming. I suppose all's well that end's well. Without the toys I just can't seem to get a peep out of her. j

My wife only has orgasms when toys (vibrators) are involved. Is this "normal", are other woman this way? jhard

Looks like you got yourself a smart fellow! With that many heads how could he be anything but smart! j

Well, if that is cheating then it is first and foremost cheating the "Camey". What a joke. A complete degradation of the human sexual experience. I am kind a proud that I did not know what "caming" meant. j

I must be old, what is "caming"? j

There is a reason for the indiscretion, it is 7-8" long and has two egg shaped thingy's attached to it's base. Not all women are interested in "fixing the problem". For instance, my wife's lack of passion has been bothering for several years, at times to the point of getting depressed. Recently, she jokingly told me that she wished I was a dog. She said that I could then suck my own dick! Great humor, to bad she meant it. She knows that I am not happy, but she appears unable to change. Just like I find it very difficult to live with an unpassionate (no kissing, no oral, how much longer do you want to stay in bed! remarks) love life. So I try to spice her up and live with the rest, and am glad that Willie N. wrote some great songs (like the one I posted) to smooth out the bumps, if and when they arrive. jhard

Here's a short verse that certainly fits the situation that my friend got himself into. You always hurt the one you love The one you shouldn't hurt at all You always take the sweetest rose And crush it till the petals fall You always break the kindest heart With a hasty word you can't recall So if I broke your heart last night It's because I love you most of all And you always break the kindest heart With a hasty word you can't recall So if I broke your heart last night It's because I love you most of all jhard

Hi Sun, A friend of mine had a moment of indescretion and ended up doing something with a gal he did not know. I later asked him if he would tell his wife and he said no. He was remorseful and in pain from the mistake he had commited, but he told me he did not know how in the world it would help to cause his wife the same pain or worse. The thing that does count is to do some house cleaning and make damn sure it does not happen again. I feel the same way my friend did. If my wife did something like that, I would not want to know. jhard

That's a hard way to live eminatic, I try hard to forgive and forget when I've been wronged and hope others attempt the same for me. We are all on this bumpy road called life together, and none of us are perfect. I am thankful for my abiblity to forgive and forget my grudges, sometimes it takes a while though. jhard

We can grow to love it. jhard

I have a feeling we may have met somewhere before ...............nice derrier! jhard