Kama

Yes, definitely! I do prefer starting out slow vs. just having something jammed into you abruptly. The butt plug I bought was from the website. It's cone shaped and has a square at the end...pinkish red? Let's just say I never knew how good anal pleasure could feel until I bought that toy.

I read that article a long time ago, and don't agree with it. Since women are conditioned to not be open about our sex drives, it's hard to tell. Some of my kinkiest female friends are the ones who portray themselves as having no sexual interest to the general public. Men, on the other hand, get judged negatively if they say their sex drive is low. This may offend some people, but if it's written by a man....I think some men want to feel that they have a higher drive to feel masculine, or rationalize any rejections from women.

I tried a butt plug for the first time, and it felt GOOD. However, when I had anal sex in the past with partners..It hurt. I know we weren't doing it the right way, such as lack of lube, me not being properly relaxed, not being with the right person, etc. Is a butt plug supposed to feel the same as a penis? Or, is a butt plug just lighter and contoured to not cause any pain? It would at least reassure me that anal sex in the future would work for me, as long as I'm fully lubricated and relax.

Me too! Daydreaming is a sinful pleasure of mine. But, I would say at parties, or at work meetings next to my cute co-worker, when I'm quiet or when I see a couple kiss, listening to songs in the car......I start thinking about se and drift off.

Delete.

I'm quiet, but it's b/c I usually think about sex or fantasize about something naughty! When I meet other quiet people, I wonder if they're doing the same thing...haha. I get distracted by sex..it's hard to sometimes talk to people or get into conversations, b/c I drift off and start thinking about stuff.

For the sake of anonymity, it has been hard fending off unwanted advances b/c I'm a childhood sexual abuse survivor (a lot of us don't know how to say no). I'm working very hard on this now. Luckily, I'm able to assertively say no and set my boundaries at this point. When I was younger and reeked of "vulnerability", predators took advantage of this. They knew I was shy, that I would "freeze," that I was anxious and that I didn't know how to say no. I used to be conscious of hurting people's feelings by saying no, but I realize that I must protect myself first.

Lots of foreplay and lube before you enter me. When I was younger, I may have allowed that..but not anymore. I got to feel completely ready.

^Same...A big penis is just nice to look at, but then what? They're harder to deepthroat and it might hurt some...

About dating the doctor..people around me were making a big deal about it saying I was so lucky. I knew I wouldn't be happy in the long-term with this guy. I was attracted to him AT FIRST, but as I got to know him...it just faded.

It all boils down to how we feel in the end, and I agree with Synirr....I don't want to attract a guy that pressures me against my will, so I obviously shouldn't waste time "pondering on it" and cut the guy off. Has anyone read the gift of fear? it's a great book on trusting your instincts and it talks about men who don't take no for an answer or will say "You're such a snob or a prude" (things like that to get you to do stuff).The author (who is a male) says that this is a huge red flag for controlling behavior.

Haha never heard of that..I will look it up .

He's 26 and was about to complete medical school. My mom liked him, b/c he was a soon to be doctor and wanted me to stay with him. After I dumped him, let's just say he did do and say some things that proved my intuition to be correct. In any case, there were people that were trying to tell me I was being too paranoid or whatever..

Maybe I should make a thread on what a gentleman is...b/c I really don't know. I had to ask my friend "What is a decent guy?"

This is going to sound middle-schoolish, but let's say I grew up in an environment where I wasn't taught to say "no" or where my father figure didn't teach me that sexual pressure was wrong. Do you think it's normal for a non-abusive and nice guy to pressure you into doing something sexual that you don't want to do? I dated a guy that would keep asking me to get naked when I said no, and he said "I'm serious about you honey, but I just want to see you naked!" I told him that I don't think he's serious about me, if he's so concerned about seeing me naked when I clearly said not yet several times. My mom and my friend excused this guy's behavior, and said "Oh, he's just a man." Well, I have a high sex drive too, but why pressure someone? If I'm serious about someone, there will be a time to get intimate in the future. There's no need to get impatient about it or demand it. I felt as if this guy wasn't behaving nicely and wasn't serious about me, but I hear my mom's and other people's voices in my head saying that "It's not a big deal." Please tell me that what this guy was doing is NOT what most worthwhile men do. I've been kind of isolated lately, so I don't know. The reason why I didn't want to get intimate with this guy is because my intuition was telling me that he wasn't right for me. I wasn't in the mood to do it with him, b/c he didn't do it for me and I didn't trust him. Yet, he would ask "Why don't you want to get naked," as if I had to justify saying no to him. That didn't make me feel right, and I hope most other men will understand this. To the outside community, he had a reputation for being a "nice and sweet guy." I knew I had to ditch him.

I think people want to believe the hymen myth, b/c they desperately want a way to tell if a woman is a virgin. Guys get scared about women lying about their sexual past, so they like how the hymen/tightness myth gives their ego some validation. It's not that easy to convince people to forget about marrying a virgin, when it has such a tremendous importance in their culture. I've met a lot of Indian men born and brought up in the states that adamantly want a virgin bride, when they're not one. It's just a tradition that is hard to let go of. A lot of Indian women pretend to be virgins to ensure a good husband.

Every guy is different, but my ex loved me hitting the dick on my tongue (sticking my tongue out and just gently banging it against my tongue..don't hurt him). I also like licking a guy's genitalia starting from his balls in an upward manner. I hope that makes sense, as it's easier t see it done than explain it! A lot of guys say they like their balls being licked/sucked.

Um, we used to joke about just having sex on your period to fool your guy into thinking you're a virgin..... Besides, aren't some non-virgins naturally very tight anyway? That whole idea of tight vs.loose is silly.

I have a quick question..<blush> My ex said that a toy isn't the same thing as a real penis, when I told him that my toys don't hurt me (yet he does). Is he right? I hope not. He said "Just b/c you can take a toy inside of you doesn't mean anything. You suck at vaginal intercourse everytime I do you." (Remember this ex didn't turn me on properly). What's funny is that this futurotic veined penis is the exact same size/width of that ex, yet this toy felt nice inside of me.

Edit.

Yes, it didn't hurt when using it. I tried penetration after orgasm, and it didn't hurt either. I read somewhere on a website to try penetration after you have a clitoral orgasm I like the soft texture compared to the harder vibes.

Just used it. LOVE it. It feels really good stroking the toy back and forth on the clit....like a real penis rubbing your clit.

I admit...I used to NOT admit it when other girls are saying "Ewww that's so gross." We were talking about oral sex in early college, and I just kept my mouth shut for fear of looking weird.....<blush> Maybe some people don't want to admit it.

LMAO, I was excited to have another Indian on the forum with her other post....but yeah my gut is saying this doesn't sound right after I saw the "I f*ck my dog" on her main page.

NM.