I was married for 8 and a half years. Things were great in the beginning, she has 2 boys from her previous marriage and I took them in, loved and raised them as my own, even though their "donor" was still in the picture. We had another son together and after about 4 years of being married, life seemed to pull us in different directions. Yes, we were a family, but "we" were no longer a couple. The "us" time was simply sleeping in the same bed, sex was bi-monthly at best and there just wasn't the feeling of togetherness anymore. We did the counseling thing, tried "date night" once a week and things got better.. for about 3 months before things got back into a rut. It wasn't for lack of trying on my end but i decided to stay for the kids. That lasted 2 years before I realized I needed to be happy and left. There were other factors involved that turned my feelings for her into resentment as well. (her drinking had become too much for me to handle, as well as the verbal abuse that came with it.) I was just done. The older boys turned their backs on me as if I'd abandoned them, even though they were old enough to understand a LOT. Our son did just fine and bounced right back. (Especially since he found out about dual birthdays, Christmas, Easter, etc. LOL) Strange how the human body works. 3 yrs before i left, I was having back problems (spasming in the night), went to my doctor, then a specialist, MRI's, Scans, blood work..everything came back normal. We bought a new expensive bed, tried a dozen or so pillows, anything for possible relief. I also had severe heartburn and was doing pepto bismol shots nightly. 1 week after I left, my back was normal and the heartburn was gone. NOT one Dr. thought about stress as the reason.