Members sun_flower969 Posted September 5, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 As I make my way through this life I have been given, it never ceases to amaze me, how I frequently encounter people going through things similar to me and feeling the same feelings. Have you ever been so in love with someone? Have you ever felt so sure in your heart that they were the "one"... that they felt the same... and then it all fell apart leaving you all alone and rejected wondering, "How could they do this to me, after all we've been through, don't they even care...?"I have been there more than once. It's the worst feeling! Confusing agonizing pain. You feel so empty, you miss that person... and they don't reciprocate! How do you cope? How did you handle it when it happened to you?? Please share... Lots of people are dealing with similar things and hopefully we can help each other!For me, for one thing, I would sort of wallow in it for a while (too long probably) disbeleif consuming me... Then realization would take over, telling me, "Hey, you have to let go of this and move on". I think the first step is letting go and believing you deserve happiness! I then would throw myself into something new to distract me from the old. A new hobby, a new interest, join a group, or even spend time getting out and having fun with old friends, reminding me of who I am, by myself, and that I can still have fun and be happy on my own! Re-visiting music from happier times is great 'therapy' too! Then of course sometimes you need real therapy to help you... Friends are my therapy, Nothing comforts me more than an open minded friend who can relate. Supporting me and encouraging me, it makes me realize, I am not alone! Other people have dealt with the SAME things and hey, if they got through it, then there is hope for ME! It sure doesn't happen over night! It takes time and strength... but once you start to let go and find happiness in other things, little by little you forget your pain and become YOU again! Thanks in advance for your replies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted September 5, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 I am so sure you are not alone. I know I have had this experience more than once. It is agonizing to love someone SOOOOO much and have it not work. I have not been 'rejected' in the commonly accepted thought on what that is, but I definitely have broken-up with someone who rejected me by being dishonest and cheating. I have also been in the situation where I have loved someone I could not have. That love, that overwhelming sensation of desire for that person was the most painful thing EVER. I know the saying that 'it is better to have loved and lost to never have loved at all' is true - but sometimes....sometimes I think if I had not experienced this total, all-consuming love that I could have spared myself the hurt. I am not sure which road I would travel if I could make the choice again.I think that if we are open to it, many people are going to float in and out of our lives touching us. Some of these people are going to reject or hurt us. Some of these people are going to become friends, lovers, confidants. If we do not take a chance and let people in, then we can never know what is to become of that person or what relationship will blossom. You are definitely not alone Sun, it is hard, it is really hard, but I think in the end it is better to have those connections than not at all. As long as you have good friends to help you through it, in the end, it is all worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 It's definitely hard to be rejected. I had one man, that I fell for....HARD. I mean, I'd never been so INTO a guy before. Right after my divorce, I played around for a bit. I saw him where he worked, told him that if he was single, I was too, and to call me....handing him my business card. He'd just broken up with his live-in GF, and told me so. We went out several times, and he insisted that I stay the night with him several (his ex had moved out for the most part). I could gaze at him for hours and be content...which was something I'd never experienced before. We got along great, had a lot of fun, sex was just OK, but I was willing to work with that. Well, a month into the relationship, he came home one day, with her behind him. I just got up, and left. Went to his work the next morning, demanding an explanation. He said he felt responsible for her, since she followed him where they were, and that they decided to make it another go. Gee, thanks for the warning. It was sooooo painful. I lost an extra 15 lbs (at the time I was only 125 and 5'10"), but, eventually, I got over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted September 6, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 Having recently been through this, I can relate.I loved him so much, totally. I think I loved him more then I have ever loved anyone, and I was devestated when he cheated. I think I threw up for a week. Still, if I am having a bad day, it will start up all over again.Most days I am fine, and know I am alright on my own.I can take care of myself, but then I hit a day, and I don'tknow what sets it off, and I will cry and cry and cry until I start throwing up again.Yep, Tyger, I have lost 20+ pounds, and peope tell me how good I am looking.I wish it had never happened.I loved my life.I love my life now, and it gets better all the time, but I'm not where I am by choice.I hope this makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foogoo Posted September 6, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 Just created a topic of my own on this subject, but I was so totally in love with her and devoted to her. Then one day: "yea we are done."In fact she just told me yesterday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted September 6, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 Hey all thanks for your replies! I guess my question is how did you get through it. What did you do to heal? For some it is still very fresh... Still others may have insights.When I first joined TT here I was in a pretty painful place. It helped me a ton... funny how I just remembered that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Well, I'm not saying that this is the perfect way to get over a breakup/rejection situation, but when that guy I posted about pretty much kicked my ass to the curb, I went out, and a couple weeks later, I was having casual sex with the 20 yr old I have referred to as "Junior" on here. It was a GREAT ego boost to be a young COUGAR at the time. No strings, lots of fun, and great sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted September 7, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Well, I'm not saying that this is the perfect way to get over a breakup/rejection situation, but when that guy I posted about pretty much kicked my ass to the curb, I went out, and a couple weeks later, I was having casual sex with the 20 yr old I have referred to as "Junior" on here. It was a GREAT ego boost to be a young COUGAR at the time. No strings, lots of fun, and great sex. Hey sometimes a rebound thing is just what you need to give your ego a kick start! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shdowulf39 Posted September 7, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 what works for me is time.give yourself plenty of time to heal.be with friends,and family.do things with your friends.do things for yourself.things that you might not have done with your ex.sometimes I forget about some of the things that I like to do when I'm in a relationship.I strive to do them for myself after a breakup.don't get emotionally involved with anyone for a good long time.I can't say how much time you should let go by.for everyone it's different.for me I usually take at least 6 months to a year before I let myself become involved again.other than that.....you know the old saying.....time heals all wounds.......give yourself plenty of time to heal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members D.dudge Posted December 4, 2009 Members Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Ive never babysat before but 1 lady on my street said shed call me next time she needed a sitter. whoreing on the streetcorner however.... j/k but it never snows cuz I live in Texas and how do I get a paper-route? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunday Posted December 4, 2009 Members Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 As I make my way through this life I have been given, it never ceases to amaze me, how I frequently encounter people going through things similar to me and feeling the same feelings. Have you ever been so in love with someone? Have you ever felt so sure in your heart that they were the "one"... that they felt the same... and then it all fell apart leaving you all alone and rejected wondering, "How could they do this to me, after all we've been through, don't they even care...?"I've never thought, "How could they do this to me?" It always comes out, "How could this happen?" I have been there more than once. It's the worst feeling! Confusing agonizing pain. You feel so empty, you miss that person... and they don't reciprocate! How do you cope? How did you handle it when it happened to you?? Please share... Lots of people are dealing with similar things and hopefully we can help each other!For me, for one thing, I would sort of wallow in it for a while (too long probably) disbeleif consuming me... Then realization would take over, telling me, "Hey, you have to let go of this and move on". I think the first step is letting go and believing you deserve happiness!I buy stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted December 4, 2009 Members Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 I've never thought, "How could they do this to me?" It always comes out, "How could this happen?"I buy stuff. It's called Retail Therapy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunday Posted December 4, 2009 Members Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 It's called Retail Therapy. And it works! Dumped in 2003 - bought a Mercedes 320Dumped in 2005 - bought a BMW motorcycleDumped in 2006 - bought a Porsche 911Dumped in 2009 - bought a BMW 535When I'm driving one my cars I hardly ever think about the women who've dumped my sorry ass. And the cars all still like me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted December 4, 2009 Members Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 And it works! Dumped in 2003 - bought a Mercedes 320Dumped in 2005 - bought a BMW motorcycleDumped in 2006 - bought a Porsche 911Dumped in 2009 - bought a BMW 535When I'm driving one my cars I hardly ever think about the women who've dumped my sorry ass. And the cars all still like me! :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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