Members square Posted October 24, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 Where can I find a Spousal Translator Device?What I envision is some sort of gizmo with a headband or helmet that I can put on my wife's head, and push some buttons so that when I ask her questions, she'll answer in a language that makes sense to me.Or maybe just a simple box that would repeat what I say, but in her language, and vise versa with her answer.Next question: If such a device does not exist and has to be invented, how many of you would find it to be a valuable addition to your marital toolbox? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted October 24, 2009 Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 LOL Though I know you were joking, to a degree, I'm sure you were also making a point. It's TRUE! Men & women DO speak totally different languages! The best thing, that I, as a woman, can recommend you do, is look at her and just ask her one of 2 things "What's my line suppose to be?" which lends the humor you obviously possess, but also telling her that you don't know what she wants to hear, or just ask her "Please, just speak to me plainly as possible so I know what you're saying." Women, whether we realize it or not, most of us are "wired" to make our men feel like they make the decisions. Like "what do you want for supper dear?" Then we will make OUR suggestions, and try and make our suggestions more appealing, but, since YOU agreed with it, then the men feel like they've made the decision, and everyone's happy. However, if you give a man a couple of options, and he chooses NOT to side with you (whether he realizes he has or not), you can't get mad at him, reasonably. All I can suggest for both genders is: be upfront and honest. Also, you won't always like what decisions are made, or statements for that matter, but, so long as you're communicating as openly as possible, then compromises can be better reached. No couple gets a long or likes 100% of everything their spouse does. The Cunninghams, Brady's, and Cleavers are all mythical families, nobody gets along like that all the time!Best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted October 25, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 . . .be upfront and honest. . . .The trouble is even more basic than that.For example, I'll come home from work, my wife will be on her way out, I'll ask "Did the kids get supper yet?"She'll answer, "Yes."If I had an SpXL-1000 Deluxe, it would tell me, "one kid ate supper; the other two had a snack 3 hours ago and will be hounding you for some gristle as soon as wife's car is outta sight down the road." But 'cuz I don't have this device, I gotta ask 5 more questions to get the info.We must have gone back and forth for 5 or 10 minutes this morning about something we were doing later in the day. "Why do I have to do something this way if the situation is that?" One minute the answer was one thing and the next something that seemed completely contradictory. That is when I thought of the Translator. And it would be a two-way street so that she understood what I meant and vice versa. It would save a lot of time and make me feel years younger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted October 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 I think you need to add a device to break thru the "selective hearing" as well...I swear we can talk about something several times and everytime it comes up it's like he never heard this before.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted October 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 The trouble is even more basic than that.For example, I'll come home from work, my wife will be on her way out, I'll ask "Did the kids get supper yet?"She'll answer, "Yes."If I had an SpXL-1000 Deluxe, it would tell me, "one kid ate supper; the other two had a snack 3 hours ago and will be hounding you for some gristle as soon as wife's car is outta sight down the road." But 'cuz I don't have this device, I gotta ask 5 more questions to get the info.We must have gone back and forth for 5 or 10 minutes this morning about something we were doing later in the day. "Why do I have to do something this way if the situation is that?" One minute the answer was one thing and the next something that seemed completely contradictory. That is when I thought of the Translator. And it would be a two-way street so that she understood what I meant and vice versa. It would save a lot of time and make me feel years younger.Wow, it sounds like life with my Ex husband! I would get these long, convaluted answers to a yes or no question.When I would say 'hey, this isn't a essay question, just tell me yes or no' he would do it all over again. The answer to my question was never in what he was saying to me. AAAHHHHhhh.......Did the kids eat?one did, two didn't.How hard is that??I know where you are coming from, square. I know the frustration you are feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted October 25, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 Yup! I understand, too. I would also like this translator to be able to tell me when he really doesn't care vs. when he does care but says he doesn't. For example: Me: "What do you want to do tonight?" Him: "I don't care, whatever you want to do." Me: "OK, then I really would like to stay in and watch TV."Then he gets moody because he really wanted to go do ... whatever. When I say, "why didn't you tell me you wanted to do whatever," he says something like, "this is fine, really, I just thought we would do whatever." But it obviously isn't fine and he had something he wanted to do. Just say it, dang it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted October 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 Just say it, dang it!AMEN!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted October 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 I think you need to add a device to break thru the "selective hearing" as well...I swear we can talk about something several times and everytime it comes up it's like he never heard this before.... OMFG RIGHT ON girlie!! ... and I want to choke HIM! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted October 25, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 And let us not forget the selective memory. How a man can remember a gillion dirty jokes but cannot remember that every Friday is trash day and the dogs need water on a regular basis is beyond me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted October 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 26, 2009 And let us not forget the selective memory. How a man can remember a gillion dirty jokes but cannot remember that every Friday is trash day and the dogs need water on a regular basis is beyond me. :lol: so true.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted October 26, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted October 26, 2009 I think you need to add a device to break thru the "selective hearing" as well...Yeah, another of my favorites is she'll be in the next room, I'll call a question to her, and get absolutely no response.Then on some other occasion I'll be talking to one of the kids in the same room as me, without raising my voice or anything, and from down at the far end of the house my wife will call back, "Huh? Are you talking to me?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted October 26, 2009 Report Share Posted October 26, 2009 My hubby does the "selective hearing" with me too. I will repeat, verbatim, what he responded with, and all he will say is "I don't wanna argue with you". Hello? Cuz you are WRONG? LOL He knows I don't lie, or make things up as I go along, so when he hears me say something that I KNOW he remembers saying it. Drives me batshit!I've learned to be as specific as possible. It's called dealing with horse traders. Some of you will know exactly what I mean (MOHD). You have to be almost anal retentively specific, or there are big loop-holes that partners will (and do) make. So, for example Square, if you know your wife does that, ask her "did ALL of the kids eat supper, or did anyone just snack?" Takes care of that question. If she is confronted with a specific question, there will be no excuse as to any variations later on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted October 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 26, 2009 When you really stop and think about this, isn't is sad we need to do this to get a little information?We all go through it, I don't think any relationship is immunne,but it is soooooo frustrating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted October 26, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted October 26, 2009 ...I've learned to be as specific as possible. It's called dealing with horse traders. Some of you will know exactly what I mean (MOHD). You have to be almost anal retentively specific, or there are big loop-holes that partners will (and do) make. Spoken like a real Texan! You sure you're a transplant? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rvasica Posted October 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 My husband had the selective memory and hearing as well so I started carrying a round a note book and every time i would tell him something I needed him to remember I would write it down and make him sign it and date it so when it was time for him to do whatever it was that needed to be done and he woud say '' you never told me we had to do that" I would pull out my handy dandy notebook end of discussion. Needles to say hes memory has gotten a whole lot better in the last 2 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted October 29, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2009 There was a Gilligan's Island episode where they are expecting a boat to come to fetch a guy visiting the island but who has no intention of helping the castaways. They check up on Gilligan and see that he is looking up instead of out toward the water."Gilligan! What are you looking at?""A helicopter." A helicopter is shown lifting off, too late for them to signal to it."Helicopter!? Why didn't you tell us!!??""You told me to watch for a boat. I happen to know the difference between a boat and a helicopter."Sometimes I yell "Gilligan" at my wife when she has a similar moment. Fortunately she has some sense of humor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shdowulf39 Posted October 29, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2009 go into a resteraunt for lunch or dinner.pick out 2 women who are together and 2 men who are eating together.notice I used totally different words to describe the different genders eating.for the 2 women it's much more than dinner.they can sit at dinner for 45 minutes and talk about a new pair of shoes.the damn shoes aren't that big to be able to talk about for 45 minutes.but they make a whole evening about dinner.now listen to the 2 guys at dinner and their conversation.....watch the game?yep!it was a good game.yep!right team win for you?yep!did you bet on it?nope!....well folks that's the end of that particular conversation....and now the 2 guys move on to the next one......hell the women are still on the one about the shoes.we definately speak two different languages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted October 29, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted October 29, 2009 go into a resteraunt for lunch or dinner.pick out 2 women who are together and 2 men who are eating together.notice I used totally different words to describe the different genders eating.for the 2 women it's much more than dinner.they can sit at dinner for 45 minutes and talk about a new pair of shoes.the damn shoes aren't that big to be able to talk about for 45 minutes.but they make a whole evening about dinner.now listen to the 2 guys at dinner and their conversation.....watch the game?yep!it was a good game.yep!right team win for you?yep!did you bet on it?nope!....well folks that's the end of that particular conversation....and now the 2 guys move on to the next one......hell the women are still on the one about the shoes.we definately speak two different languages.Hey now! There's a lot to say about some shoes!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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