This Is New....

[cwgrltinkerbell21]

Ok, I am need of some help. I was married for 3 years, and now, I am divorced and met a wonderful man who is absolutely wonderful. Not only to me, but my children. Everything is going great... Except... In the bedroom. Im 25 yrs. old. (young, I know). He is 26. We are both healthy, and have a healthy sex drive. My issue is, that everything I have learned in my 10 years of sexual encounters does not really apply here. I have never been with a guy like him. He doesnt operate like the others have. Foreplay for instance, is almost non-existant. He doesnt get turned on by kissing, or petting, or touching.. or even dirty talk.. Says it doesnt do anything for him. He made a comment the other night about "it would be nice to have someone else iniate things." I obviously took this as a hint, and let it be known, that I didnt know how. As embarrased as I was I knew he had to show me SOMETHING. So he preceded to tell me that giving a blow job to start is the go-getter. Which is fine, only problem..(heres the next issue I have) I have never given a blow job to a guy that was "fully intact" (circumcized). So I got a whole new lesson in giving blow jobs. Meanless to say, and hour later, I finally passed the class. But I am still confused. What do you do for a guy who really isnt into the usually fondling and foreplay? And, how do you exactly handle and "intact penis".. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to make sure I included everything to give a better description. Thanks guys! I love this site, and all the help I've gotten in the past. Please help. I really like this guy and I can see us being together for quite sometime, I wanna make it COMPLETLY enjoyable to its fullest.

[Mikayla1]

Hello and WELCOME!

Well, it sounds like you are on the right track, coming here for advice on how to please your man. However, I have to admit, my alarm bells are ringing. I mean, here is man who says he is not interested in kissing, touching or foreplay EXCEPT for Blowjobs? Ummmmmmm, what about YOUR needs? Sure, I love to give a good blowjob - I mean, I really do and it turns me on, but I want oral sex on ME too and I need some fondling, kissing, touching, etc. Women in general need about 15 minutes of good foreplay to become aroused on average. So, what is he willing to do to help you become aroused?

Saying that 'he doesn't become aroused through kissing and petting' sounds like an excuse to me. It sounds like he is interested in getting himself where he needs to be. OR, and this might be hard to determine in a new relationship - but he may have a touch of Erectile difficulties (and yes, it can happen in the 20s) and he needs direct stimulation to become completely aroused. You may have to experiment a bit to ascertain if this is true or not.

Now, on the blowjob question. Listen, there isn't anything different exactly with an uncut man except that the foreskin will cover the penis head until he is fully erect. It is like a little hidden surprise! You can have a lot of fun covering and uncovering the penis head while you play with him. My experience with uncut guys is extremely limited- but, from what I can tell you just go with the flow and enjoy the extra sensations for him, as there can be slightly more sensation with an uncut man when the penis head is uncovered through oral sex or fondling.

[hyokahey]

Sometimes, and I emphasize sometimes, it is nice to have variation in initiation from your partner. I fully agree with Mikayla that preferences need to be respected and honored. Love means setting aside what I want in order to show my love by giving my partner her preferences.

Some of us guys would love for our woman to just walk up and grab our junk and start unzipping us, with hungry eyes and hungry growls. Unfortunately, not many women honor this preference of guys. He is a lucky man if you decide to do so. Another dream initiation is to wake with your woman's mouth exploring your cock.

This all being said, YOU need to clearly state your preferences for foreplay....

[cwgrltinkerbell21]

LOL fair enough. I didn't include that did I? Oops.. Sorry. Um, Im all in to the foreplay. Easy, gentle, harder, kissing, petting, touching, all that. And he knows that which, he has no problems doing for me, just he doesn't really get into it back. Very, very weird in my book, but everyone is different right? He is more sensitive than what I am used to but, this also not something bad in my favor. I never knew there were guys out there who could cum and keep going. This, is awesome But, he doesn't mind foreplay with me and doing whatever I need. Hes just not really into it. And as for the ED.. I am not really sure. Could explain why the need for direct stimulation. But, IDK?? Ok... Lets try and figure this out before I fall apart Thanks guys!

[sun_flower969]

I think definitely communication is key here. Everyone is different and if you keep the communication lines open you will be just fine. don't be afraid to ask share and talk about all these sexual things!! For some people it can be hard or embarrassing but in reality it is natural and necessary!!

Uncut men are definitely more sensitive, especially around the head of the penis when the foreskin is pulled back. I am pretty sure some dude can attest to it.

Keep us posted and again WELCOME to the forum!

[Kace]

Cut or uncut - we've got the same high concentrations of nerve endings in the same spots. The difference is that with an uncircumcised guy you'll have to (gently) pull the foreskin back. The ridge around the head of the penis is super sensitive, especially on the underside. It's called the frenulum (spot #5 in the link). Pay it close attention with your tongue, hands, whatever. Anything that isn't too rough is going to feel incredible.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frenulum_of_prepuce_of_penis

Now with the anatomy lesson over, make sure he knows what works for YOU. Maybe he isn't into kissing, foreplay, cuddling... That's fine. But if it's what you want, let him know it. He should be respectful enough to do what works for you if you're doing what works for him. Fair is fair, and in this case fun.

[hyokahey]

'He doesn't mind' is far different than "He knows what I like, and delights in 'getting into it'.

My partner, though she does not verbalize it (I can tell, I assure you) has very intense orgasms when I cum in her, then go down to bring her to orgasm with my mouth. At first, it was like: 'yuck'...then, when I experienced her passion and pleasure, I forgot all about my initial reaction and drew close to her in an intimate passion beyond my wildest dreams.

[ladylove]

Remember love is about giving not receiving for both. That being said communication is key. Each party should want to eagerly please the other not just go through the motions.

[GlacialDrift]

As an uncut man, I can tell you that everything below the foreskin is Extremely sensitive. Typically I am Never totally "unraveled" during sex, and if I am, while it's intense, it's usually not as pleasureable (too much sensation!). But yeah, traditional foreplay doesn't do a lot for me either - it's more psychological. If my wife lays down next to me in a sexy nightie (or whatever they're called) while we're watching a movie I'll be ready to go in minutes. But all the kissing and caressing and tickling or whatever - it's just boring. If I'm hard I'm hard and ready to go. Keeping an erection for ten minutes of "foreplay" is tough. Though never underestimate the ability of a man to get sexually prepared (hard) again after losing it. Women will never understand how back and forth a man can be in a sexual situation.

[hyokahey]

Just because the rocket is all fueled up and ready to go does not mean that mission control will launch, if the weather is not right. The rocket can always be re-fueled.

[crossroads123]

I am sorry but I see a red flag here. I think you are very new in this relationship, if I am reading it right, and if that is so it's already headed the wrong way. no pun intended. This guy sounds to me to either be very selfish or untrained in the art of "love making". Please, no I did say sex, thats something you get from a pick up or a prostitute. There is a difference in sex and "lovemaking" and some men don't understand that difference.

You must talk to him and explain your needs and desire, guide him, show him, teach him what pleases you. Some men JUST SIMPLY DONT KNOW HOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk, explain, instuct, teach and love.

I want to warn you though if he is the selfish type of a guy this WILL ONLY GET WORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He will not get better he will continue to be only concerned about himself and his needs!!!!!!!! Time, love, training, pleading, or begging will NOT change him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!