Newbie veronicalake Posted January 21, 2011 Newbie Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 So, tonight I mentioned to my boyfriend of a couple years that I was thinking about cruising by a sex shop. His response: "Good. You need a blindfold, handcuffs, and ankle restraints." Just to be sure, I asked if he was serious, and he said he was (which I kind of knew already).Now, to be perfectly honest, this has always been a major fantasy of mine--and specifically with him. I really couldn't imagine ever wanting to do this with any other sex partner I've been with, and the fact that he's into it is a little fantasy come true. And we have been messing around with very brief impromptu butt spankings, which I very much enjoy, and I have wanted them to go further. But, this is my first venture into this territory, so....I guess my first question is, why am I nervous if this is something that I've always wanted to do? My second question is...where do I start with the props? What are wrist and ankle restraints that will make me feel comfortable? Many of them look very pricey, so I'm not sure where to start.Also, one concern that I have is that I'm claustrophobic. If I ever feel that I can't breathe I'll spaz out, and I don't want to ruin a potentially good thing.Any thoughts/comments will be greatly appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shdowulf39 Posted January 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 It's human nature to be nervous or apprehensive.First off your doing something you have never done before.And the fact it's been one of your fantasies probably had made you even more nervous.You want this to be a pleasurable experience.But you don't know if it actually will.It's normal to be nervous.Take a deep breath,relax and enjoy it.As with anything.You get what you pay for.I personally have no use for hand cuffs.I much prefer an nice set of leather wrist and ankle cuffs.You should be able to pick up both pairs for around 125 dollars.Mine are lined.Have a buckle closeure.Are about one and one half to two inches wide.To me they are sexier and not as cold as hand cuffs.Good luck with your play time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shdowulf39 Posted January 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 It's human nature to be nervous or apprehensive.First off your doing something you have never done before.And the fact it's been one of your fantasies probably had made you even more nervous.You want this to be a pleasurable experience.But you don't know if it actually will.It's normal to be nervous.Take a deep breath,relax and enjoy it.As with anything.You get what you pay for.I personally have no use for hand cuffs.I much prefer an nice set of leather wrist and ankle cuffs.You should be able to pick up both pairs for around 125 dollars.Mine are lined.Have a buckle closeure.Are about one and one half to two inches wide.To me they are sexier and not as cold as hand cuffs.Good luck with your play time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shdowulf39 Posted January 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 It's human nature to be nervous or apprehensive.First off your doing something you have never done before.And the fact it's been one of your fantasies probably had made you even more nervous.You want this to be a pleasurable experience.But you don't know if it actually will.It's normal to be nervous.Take a deep breath,relax and enjoy it.As with anything.You get what you pay for.I personally have no use for hand cuffs.I much prefer an nice set of leather wrist and ankle cuffs.You should be able to pick up both pairs for around 125 dollars.Mine are lined.Have a buckle closeure.Are about one and one half to two inches wide.To me they are sexier and not as cold as hand cuffs.Good luck with your play time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToyQueen Posted January 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 Personally, I would start with a blindfold--there is nothing quite the anticipation of not knowing what's coming next... You can always make your own simple cuffs with a large handkerchief or nylons--very cheap, and it might be easier to tell if you want to get something more. I actually started out simply keeping my eyes closed and being told not to move my hands. It was a cheap, easy way to see if it was something that interested us. Good luck!!!Make sure to check out the bondage stuff here on the site. Some of it is less expensive than other places--especially with the one year guarantee! And it's a nice way to start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hyokahey Posted January 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 where's mikayla when you need her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunday Posted January 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 where's mikayla when you need her?Maybe she's tied up tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie veronicalake Posted January 22, 2011 Author Newbie Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Thanks so much, all of you. I truly appreciate your advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 I would also suggest that y'all have a Safe Word in place. Some word that you can say if you get too scared, nervous, or want to be released. A word that has no sexual relevance, like Twinkie, doll, paper, soda.....you get the idea. Both of you agree on a word that, if said, the bondage stops until you're comfortable again. Have fun!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted January 24, 2011 Review Team Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 You can also use the green-light, yellow-light, red-light method. When he asks if you are ok, green obviously mean continue on, yellow means slow down a bit or be cautious, red obviously means stop. I agree with the others in that is it natural to be nervous. Just about any time we try something new, espeically something we have thought about a lot, we tend to get nervous - it is kind of a fear of the unknown even if it is wanted.As for props, I would suggest staying away from metal cuffs. If you are in them for any period of time, they can do some nerve damage if your wrists are bent a certain way. I like leather, or even some of the stuff around the house that was mentioned - ties, belts, a scarf - anything that is long enough to wrap around your wrists, or ankles, and then around the bed or whatever you are being restrained to. If you find you really like this, this site has an under-the-bed restraint system that is not too pricey and is wonderful!If you like spankings, I would also suggest a flogger. It sounds bad, but really they are quite fun and IMO less painful than a whip or belt. Some have leather strips and kind of fuzzy yarn-like strips all in one, so you get a tickle and a bit of pain in one. A blindfold is nice, and I have always wanted to try a ball-gag (then you have to use safe signals since you can't talk, so think about that) or some other kind of gag. That may be something to wait on though, until you and he both have more experience discovering what you like and don't like.My number one bit of advice is to take it slow and communicate with your partner what "slow" means to each of you. Talk about your limits, make sure you are on the same page with everything before you start, and then have fun! It is an awesome feeling! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KateElizabeth Posted June 18, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 18, 2012 For restraints, you can find things that work well for next to nothing. any narrow fabric, like scarves, will work. You can use a large scarf or the tie from a robe under the mattress and attach scarves to that, to make restraints.It is normal, as has been said, to feel some apprehension about trying anything new. Enjoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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