Older Women

[chloegirl]

My daughters and I were leaving the mall this afternoon and up ahead I saw a woman walk by that caused me to hurry up and catch up with her to get a better look. I have to say she had heads turning the entire length of the store, but I can't say that people's reactions where positive. She had a killer, Pilates pefect figure wearing a form fitting black sweater dress (kind of short but not a mini skirt either); long immaculately coiffed hair; and some high heeled strappy sandals that wrapped up the length of her very shapely legs. Now the reason I wanted a closer look was because I could tell even from a distance that she was an "older" woman and you don't see many looking and dressed like that around here (this isn't California lol!). We walked out the door right behind her and I could see by her hands that she had to be older than me and when she turned to the side I would say she had to have been in her later 50's and still very attractive.

In the car I was telling the girls that the 2-faced way that women are judged really irked me and I say "Way to go honey!" She obviously takes good care of herself (most YOUNG women around here couldn't even pull it off!), has total confidence in herself, and probably rocks the bedroom and boardroom so why shouldn't she dress that way and show herself off? But the girls (and all the evil looks she was getting from the rest of the women in the store) said that she looked like an old prostitute trying too hard. Now I agree there is a time and place for every getup but she wasn't dressed garishly or slutty (well, maybe the shoes were a bit much lol). Why is it such a crime for a woman past a certain age to show it if she's got it? Are we all supposed to don moo-moos, velour jogging suits, and orthopedic shoes? Totally let ourselves go to pot and give up being "women"?

Everyone is going to get older unless you die first! How freakin' stupid to act like once you have hit 50 you are no longer valid, no longer sexy or attractive! I feel sorry for all the ignorant a-holes who think like that! The last half of your life is going to be very, very sad!

[square]

No, keeping being women. Society definitely has a double standard, though. But guy or girl, don't try to make yourself look 40 when you're 70 or 80. That just plain looks wrong.

[chloegirl]

Agreed! Taste and appropriateness should always reign supreme....and that goes for everyone!

[WendyNY]

I agree- taste is everything---I mean there is a big difference between looking SEXY versus SLUTTY. (although looking slutty does have it's own time and place.... )

There are lots of older attractive women in great shape and I say --if you have it--then ROCK IT !!

(and I agree-- the looks the women were giving her were most likely out of jealousy.... )

But women who truly look 70 or 80 and are trying to look 20-- well, it's just not attractive.

[ladylove]

Although a women of 50 dresses MUCH different now than a women of 50, 20 years ago, there still is personal taste.

However:

Rule 1 NEVER DRESS LIKE A 20 YEAR OLD! It just looks cheep, no matter how expensive the cloths are.

[WendyNY]

Although a women of 50 dresses MUCH different now than a women of 50, 20 years ago, there still is personal taste.

However:

Rule 1 NEVER DRESS LIKE A 20 YEAR OLD! It just looks cheep, no matter how expensive the cloths are.

I think that everyone has their own style. I mean--You KNOW what looks good on you and what you feel comfortable wearing. I am a tshirt and jeans girl most of the time. (when I'm not at work)

[ladylove]

I think that everyone has their own style. I mean--You KNOW what looks good on you and what you feel comfortable wearing. I am a tshirt and jeans girl most of the time. (when I'm not at work)

Agreed! everyone has their own personal style that is as unique to them as their thumb print. And, even though my 22 year old and I have similar style, and could share cloths we don't, except for the occasional t-shirt or something simple like that. I was 22 once upon a time, now I love being a women of indeterminate age, attracting the attention of men, of all ages.

Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

[sass]

For the most part, age is just a number to me. Yes, we should all strive to look our best, and that will mean different things to different people. But if I have the body, mentality, and lack of wrinkles at 50 to pull off sexy clothes - yep, I will wear them. It is true that there is sometimes a fine line between slutty and sexy but if a woman can walk that line, no matter what her age, I think she should. When a woman looks her best, she often feels younger and more alive, no matter her age, so I say rock-it. Those who do not like it, well, who cares? We worry to much about pleasing strangers and not enough about pleasing ourselves.

[chloegirl]

Well said MsLayD!

hahahah....see, this proves my point...In this particular situation there was nothing slutty about her. She was not dressed like a teenager and she was not showing excessive cleavage or anything. She stood out because she was so attractive and had the kind of posture, attitude, and figure to carry off this very stylish yet sexy look that you just don't see alot of women outside of catalogs and magazines pull off. It's an unfortunate fact that most females feel threatened in some way when they see another woman who has that out of the ordinary stand out "something".....and so like a bunch of spitting cats they get their attitude up and automatically pass negative judgement and brand her a slut by their reactions because it makes them feel insecure deep down inside and instead of dealing with thier own selves it's easier to condemn the cause of their discomfort. I think having the kind of confidence not cave to the unspoken "thou shalt not try to upstage the rest of us" mentality is awesome!

[mystofpric]

I'm a firm believer in dressing for yourself and your body, not some number or society's rules. If you're in shape, and yuo have the body to rock something form fitting, rock it and be proud! Yeah, there is a line, but there is a line at any age! Ladies embrace your body not your age!

[sass]

I agree chloe! People tend to pass judgement when they are feeling insecure - I was actually just saying that today about something totally different, but it still applies. If a hot 50-something makes the 20-something feel insecure, then that is a problem within the 20-something, not the woman who is secure in her own skin. But instead of looking inward, they will take the easy road and automatically pass judgement. It's a shame, but it happens all the time with any age group and in many different situations.

[WendyNY]

I was thinking about this thread yesterday at work. There was a female patient who came in yesterday morning . I wasn't sure how old she was at first. She had long brownish hair with blond highlights. Nice figure. She was wearing jeans. It was very obvious that she had had a facelift or some type of plastic surgery. (She had those Joan Rivers lips--you know the lips I'm talking about...... ) But she was attractive. Next to her was an old woman--white hair--lots of wrinkles. (that woman was 64) It wasn't until the other younger looking woman left and I started working on her file that I saw how old she was.

SHE WAS SEVENTY FOUR !! I almost fell on the floor ! OMG......

I have a friend who is in her 50's. She's Italian--black hair--beautiful face --a bit overweight. She dresses completely GLAM. Diamonds--fur coats---Blinged out to the max. It suits her though. I couldn't wear those types of clothes with all that jewelry. It's not me----- And she couldn't dress the way I do--It's not her. So, each of us is aware of what looks good on us. We aren't trying to dress like someone else.

I guess my style is SEXY Casual. (and you will never catch me EVER wearing sweats !! )

[thurisas]

I think that being comfortable in your own skin lends a lot to attractiveness, but from the other end, in order to find an older woman attractive one has to be at least a little comfortable in their own skin too. I find that as I mature I can look at a woman in her 40's and 50's and appreciate her much more than I would have when I was in my 20's. Some of that is due to the theory that you will be most attracted to what you are closest to physically but ultimately it has to do with being able to picture yourself with that person. Many guys couldn't do that without the ick factor coming up but there are some who see past the age thing and are able to just enjoy the woman for who she is and what she can offer. Just thoughts.

Randy.

[chloegirl]

Read this article and then especially all the comments at the end!

http://awards.music.yahoo.com/blog/171-hot-for-teacher-star-surfaces-after-bands-grammy-buzz

[square]

. . . I find that as I mature I can look at a woman in her 40's and 50's and appreciate her much more than I would have when I was in my 20's. Some of that is due to the theory that you will be most attracted to what you are closest to physically but ultimately it has to do with being able to picture yourself with that person. . . .

Randy.

I have noticed that too with myself. And while I still look at young attractive women, I am noticing that as I get older, I really don't fantasize about them anymore. Yes, they may be pretty as hell, but we would have nothing in common, and that makes any fantasy just not workable for me. Older women are becoming more attractive to me compared with younger ones. (But don't get me wrong; I still look at the younger ones )

[chloegirl]

I think that being comfortable in your own skin lends a lot to attractiveness, but from the other end, in order to find an older woman attractive one has to be at least a little comfortable in their own skin too. I find that as I mature I can look at a woman in her 40's and 50's and appreciate her much more than I would have when I was in my 20's. Some of that is due to the theory that you will be most attracted to what you are closest to physically but ultimately it has to do with being able to picture yourself with that person. Many guys couldn't do that without the ick factor coming up but there are some who see past the age thing and are able to just enjoy the woman for who she is and what she can offer. Just thoughts.

Randy.

Thanks Randy! I understand what you are saying as a whole but just to play devil's advocate I am going to point out that here are the bits and pieces that jump out at me: "in order to find an older woman attractive" (like that's so hard to do?!)---- "being able to picture yourself with that person. Many guys couldn't do that without the ick factor coming up" ----- (Are you serious?!)

That is a totally understandable reaction coming from a young person. But you can still pick up that "ick" response from alot of both men and women who are NOT exactly kids anymore thinly veiled between the lines of what they say. Even "OLDER" men in the same age group 50's & up! Get real people! We're ALL headed down the same highway and we're ALL gonna get older! (even those "kids" who act like it's a disease that will never hit them!) News Flash! Biologically we're still wired for desire til we die if we don't let ourselves give up, but you can't go there alone and realistically you've got to accept your own peer group for that journey! Which means you CAN"T ignore this part of the population, especially if you are in it!

Why are people so offended almost angrily when an older woman keeps herself hot? Or grossed out by even imagining an older woman as sexual but it's perfectly alright for the same age man to think he is entitled to and longed for by little 20 somethings? (yeah some might if they have daddy issues or you buy them stuff!) And no one sees anything mentally off with that twisted logic? I have to say it really grosses me out to picture men doing girls as young as their own daughters....there's just something really incestuously gross about that to me, but that's another topic!

I can see a young guy and think "yeah, he's nice looking" but I NEVER even in a fantasy think about wanting him sexually for myself. Not because I couldn't get one or turn one inside out! But I am only ever honed in on my own age group. I do NOT dis-count middle aged men (or women for that matter) as my target because that's "what you (I) are closest to physically"

[chloegirl]

I have noticed that too with myself. And while I still look at young attractive women, I am noticing that as I get older, I really don't fantasize about them anymore. Yes, they may be pretty as hell, but we would have nothing in common, and that makes any fantasy just not workable for me. Older women are becoming more attractive to me compared with younger ones. (But don't get me wrong; I still look at the younger ones )

Square,

You're my hero!

[WendyNY]

From the female perspective--I am attracted to older men as well. Not that I won't notice a younger good looking guy--but honestly it really doesn't do much for me sexually. There is something about older men that I find very sexy. And I've noticed in the Porn I enjoy watching--the women are usually older as well. Perhaps it does have something to do with my age now. I don't enjoy watching younger women in Porn. Not only does it look like they are trying too hard, they don't seem to really enjoy it as much as the older women do. I think as we age our confidence increases TREMENDOUSLY. That's what I find especially sexy--the confidence in both men and women.

[thurisas]

Thanks Randy! I understand what you are saying as a whole but just to play devil's advocate I am going to point out that here are the bits and pieces that jump out at me: "in order to find an older woman attractive" (like that's so hard to do?!)---- "being able to picture yourself with that person. Many guys couldn't do that without the ick factor coming up" ----- (Are you serious?!)

That is a totally understandable reaction coming from a young person. But you can still pick up that "ick" response from alot of both men and women who are NOT exactly kids anymore thinly veiled between the lines of what they say. Even "OLDER" men in the same age group 50's & up! Get real people! We're ALL headed down the same highway and we're ALL gonna get older! (even those "kids" who act like it's a disease that will never hit them!) News Flash! Biologically we're still wired for desire til we die if we don't let ourselves give up, but you can't go there alone and realistically you've got to accept your own peer group for that journey! Which means you CAN"T ignore this part of the population, especially if you are in it!

Why are people so offended almost angrily when an older woman keeps herself hot? Or grossed out by even imagining an older woman as sexual but it's perfectly alright for the same age man to think he is entitled to and longed for by little 20 somethings? (yeah some might if they have daddy issues or you buy them stuff!) And no one sees anything mentally off with that twisted logic? I have to say it really grosses me out to picture men doing girls as young as their own daughters....there's just something really incestuously gross about that to me, but that's another topic!

I can see a young guy and think "yeah, he's nice looking" but I NEVER even in a fantasy think about wanting him sexually for myself. Not because I couldn't get one or turn one inside out! But I am only ever honed in on my own age group. I do NOT dis-count middle aged men (or women for that matter) as my target because that's "what you (I) are closest to physically"

Please note that I also mentioned in the post that there is a theory that you must be at least somewhat close in physical attractiveness. That attractiveness changes with age. I have no problem with older women who are sexy. None whatsoever and if that is what I led you to believe, my apologies. Like square said, though, if you don't have anything in common, how can you even picture yourself there? Unfortunately there is an ick factor and I am sure that it is somehow at least partially wired in to us insomuch as natural selection goes. Young, healthy males seek out young healthy females and vise versa. When I was in my 20's I wouldn't have even looked at a 60 year old woman with the belief I can do better. Now, being 37, I am fine looking at young, old, and in between but that's life experience for you.

Randy,

[ladylove]

To all the women in their 40's, 50's and 60's:

WE ROCK!

[12GAUGE]

For the most part, age is just a number to me. Yes, we should all strive to look our best, and that will mean different things to different people. But if I have the body, mentality, and lack of wrinkles at 50 to pull off sexy clothes - yep, I will wear them. It is true that there is sometimes a fine line between slutty and sexy but if a woman can walk that line, no matter what her age, I think she should. When a woman looks her best, she often feels younger and more alive, no matter her age, so I say rock-it. Those who do not like it, well, who cares? We worry to much about pleasing strangers and not enough about pleasing ourselves.

Here Here....well said.