Members whiskeywoman Posted July 12, 2006 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 I was visiting one of my favorite sites, castlerealm, and I saw this.I started cracking up, and figured you and your man would get a kick out of this.i will not carve the flogger handlesi will not spank others i will not aim for Master's head i will not yell safeword in the grocery storei will not yell fire everytime Master lights a candlefunny noises are not funnyi will not slap Master with my braPunishment is not boring or pointlessi will not call Master, Dr. Deathi will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Master's d/s partya burp is not an appropriate response to Masteri will not eat all Master's m & m's while he is at workMaster's gags are not to be used to keep the children quieti will not call Master, spud head, butt head or any kind of headMasters ARE perfectMud is not an acceptable side dish for dinner for Masteri will NOT wear panties i will not sell snake oil or tiger balm at Master's d/s partiesi will not peek out of the blindfoldthere is no such thing as "slave immunity"i will not sneak in the bathroom when i don't have permissioni did not win an emmy for my last sessioni will not hide all Master's toysall play and no work does not a good slave makei will not say "oh Master you're the bestest and biggest" just to get a spankingi can not fire Mastermy last assignment was not stolen by one armed net hackersi will not scare any newbies by telling them ALL REAL subs like bullwhipsi will not perform breast implant surgery on a newbiei will refrain from saying "hail satan" when i don't like Master's ordersi will not remind Master daily of our 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 yr. anniversaryi will not waste wax by playing with it or putting it on all Master's clampsi will not use Master's bondage table for a skateboard ramp or a slide into the pooli will not wear Master's underwear on my headMaster's dog does not stinkEnjoyWhiskey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted July 12, 2006 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 That was TOOO funny Whiskey!You know, I too like Castlerealm, for those of you who are wondering, it is a neat little DOm/sub site - and it is far less intimidating and "scary" than some of the other sites out there, so you may want to check it out!Anyway, that was some great humor, so thanks!Kayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ambrelyn Posted July 12, 2006 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 Oh, God, Whiskeywoman, that was hilarious! I have a pain in my side from laughing! I can't wait to share these with my fiancee. I would tell you which ones I liked the most, but there are too many!! I think it would have to be using the gags to keep the kids quiet. How funny! I'll definitely have to check out that site too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted July 12, 2006 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 Whiskeywomen that was great!!! I think I agree with bondagejunkie on the kid one. Absolutely hilarous!!! Thanks Whiskeywomen I needed a good laugh today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sam7970 Posted July 23, 2006 Members Report Share Posted July 23, 2006 That was hilarious you almost had me on the floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members CGEM Posted December 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2006 The one with "hiding the Master's toys" got me thinking...Mmmmmmmm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 OMG!! Those were all soooo funny!! Thanks for sharing that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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