Mad

[hrnychick]

So tell me guys and gals when you are mad at your SO for one reason or another do you withhold sex?

I touched base on this topic with a post about another topic....and that had me wondering is any or all of you out there like me? When my hubby pisses me off and it takes a lot for me to really get mad and stay mad I dont want him anywhere near me.....so sex is a big fat NO am I alone on this or not?

I know they say "you should never go to bed mad" but sometimes it just cant be helped. We dont "fight" as often as we did in our younger days....but we still get into some good ones every now and then.....nothing that is harmful. no abuse etc......its basic talk when we really have to and that kind of stuff and like i said NO sex.....I stay my side of the bed the best i can....LOL

But then when hubby cant take it and wants "some" he wont say sorry he just makes his moves on me.....ofcourse by that time Im ready to forgive and forget.....but would a sorry really kill him .....lol

So back to the question "do you withhold sex from your SO when mad"?

Just curious

Hrnychick

[Mikayla1]

No, I do not withhold sex if I am mad at hubby. Truthfully, I am very seldom mad at him, and I find it ridiculous these women that do that! I mean, sex is good for me - so why should I withhold? I will say that if I am a little mad at him I might make him work harder for the orgasms - and I might not be as willing to have killer, passionate, sex - then it becomes more of a fuck - but I like those anyway!

Mikayla

[nosleepnmesa]

Well Hrnychick, I have to say no I have never withheld sex from my hubby because I was mad. My hubby still gets it but let me tell you it is a little bit on the rough side. I wouldn't call it love making or anything just blame out sex. I will admit when I am mad at him, I like to take total control and I like what I call angry sex, it is not painful or mean but aggresive.

I agess with MIkayla why withhold sex when it is something that you both enjoy, aren't you then in return hurting your self in a way, I mean you can get pleasure with toys and things but me I rather take it out on him and control the bed.

[ambrelyn]

I tried that once. I wasn't really mad at him, just kind of aggravated. We weren't fighting, more like bickering. I said, fine, you just won't get any tonight. He looked at me with that sly little grin he has and said, watch me. He then proceeded to tease and torment me until I was more than willing to give it up. Then when we went to have sex he was more dominant than usual and more rough. It was great. I certainly learned my lesson.

[clewing]

I have never withheld sex, but sometimes after a fight, the emotional need for closeness is not there--you just want time to cool down and get over the fight. HOWEVER, make up sex can be fantastic, especially if you are both truly sorry.

[hrnychick]

WOW....talk about feeling alone....LOL. I see your point girls "why withhold something thats good for you" and I dont always withhold sex....we do have that "just a fuck" when I am a little mad at him or only bickering but im talking about an all out arguement. You mean to tell me NO couple reading this has EVER had a arguement with thier SO that lead to needing that time to cool down and so on? Maybe its just my temper....when pushed to my limit I just want to be left alone. I could take care of business myself and let him do the same (or not).

I dont want to make it seem like hubby and I never get along ( hell its been 12yrs of marriage and a total of 18yrs together) but there has been a time or two (back in the days of getting to know eachother and getting over the tough times early in the marriage) over the course of our relationship where HE crossed the line...pushed me to that point where I was sooo mad that the last thing on my mind was having sex or even just 'fucking' him. I never stayed mad long just one night and since we aim to have sex everyday one night was plenty for him to understand just how mad he made me besides me telling him.

Oh well our relationship isnt perfect but still going strong!!!

Thanks for the replys.

HC

[tdriskel]

HC-

Not one of them said they weren't still pissed-- in fact, I think the point is that it is okay to be pissed and still turned on and have a great fuck. Obviously, you guys usually work it out or you wouldn't still be together after 18 years.

Only once have I been so mad that I wasn't in the mood-- this was a total breakdown in communication for us and took a few months of counselling to fix. We went 4 weeks-- a lifetime record of awfulness-- and I promise I would do anything to avoid being that mad again. Plus, we usually have great make-up sex and I am more mellow after sex, so it is harder to be that pissed over little stuff anyway.

My mom always said you shouldn't 'cut off your nose to spite your face" and that is how I approach withholding sex when I am angry.

[promiscuouseuphoria]

Well, I have never withheld sex because I was angry. However, there was a couple times with my ex when I was so upset that I couldn't find it in myself to be interested. It wasn't withholding so much as I was still so angry/hurt/etc. that I couldn't even think about sex, and so wasn't receptive to being approached.

[me4now]

ok i have with held sex from my husband and the reason for that was we had made plans to get away and he forgot and went out with the boys so i forgave him that night and we decided to try again the following night and he invited friends over to dinner and didnt let me know until late that day so i was like what are you doing and he replies,AW BABY ITS JUST FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS now let me tell you all i had just got my new HUSTLER ROCK IT and had waited for 2days to use it and he forgets about it our company didnt leave until 4:00 a.m and the kids were do back at 6:00 that morning after being gone the whole weekend.

so i decided to walk around in my high heels and let my hair down and put on my good smell goods and sexy tight dress with the very high split teased him for the whole day and told him this is what he miss out on and left with my friends LOL and i did ask for a SORRY and he didnt say it so thats why i did what i did and it has not happen again LOLOLOLOLOLOL

[hrnychick]

Well, I have never withheld sex because I was angry. However, there was a couple times with my ex when I was so upset that I couldn't find it in myself to be interested. It wasn't withholding so much as I was still so angry/hurt/etc. that I couldn't even think about sex, and so wasn't receptive to being approached.

This is my point exactly. After reading your post I now see that my wording was off.....I guess I lead people to think that I withheld sex and a punishment to hubby but really its the way you said in your post.....just not receptive and didnt want to be approached. More of just not in the mood and it really take me a lot to "NOT be in he mood" thank goodness im pretty easy going......LOL

HC

[hrnychick]

ok i have with held sex from my husband and the reason for that was we had made plans to get away and he forgot and went out with the boys so i forgave him that night and we decided to try again the following night and he invited friends over to dinner and didnt let me know until late that day so i was like what are you doing and he replies,AW BABY ITS JUST FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS now let me tell you all i had just got my new HUSTLER ROCK IT and had waited for 2days to use it and he forgets about it our company didnt leave until 4:00 a.m and the kids were do back at 6:00 that morning after being gone the whole weekend.

so i decided to walk around in my high heels and let my hair down and put on my good smell goods and sexy tight dress with the very high split teased him for the whole day and told him this is what he miss out on and left with my friends LOL and i did ask for a SORRY and he didnt say it so thats why i did what i did and it has not happen again LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Thanks for your post.....and cute way to get back at him Im sure it worked wonders. Oh those nights out with the boys....been there done that.....that was the reason(s) I was angry with my hubby enough to just say "goodnight" and roll over and off to sleepyland. Im sure the gals out there could understand my reason for being pissed.....all day home with 3 very active kids....driving me up the wall..(but kids will be kids right) cant wait for hubby to get home.....sending message via text about what our time will be like.....kids go to grandmas for a few hours.....waiting for him to arrive home....then to have him call and say going for a beer or two with the guys be home soon.....well soon lead to kids coming home.....me being pissed.....and him acting like he had no clue as to why I was upset......OMG what a lame excuse.....he knew lol.....but that time he put friends ahead of me.....and our hot sex we were planning......So I guess I shouldnt say I was withholding.....I see i shouldve chosen better wording.....lets just say after being let down.....I wasnt receptive. Well bright spot of all that is he never did it again.....(so far knock on wood)....and when he knows we can have a afternoon sex romp cause kids arent home......HE BURNS RUBBER TO GET HERE>>>>>lol

HC

[hrnychick]

THANK YOU HOWARD !!!!!!!

You hit the nail on the head.....I too couldnt understand why he wouldnt rather get home to "play" rather then be out with they guys......for us I KNOW its NOT that the sex isnt good etc and he didnt want to talk about it etc.....I think in our case it him just being him.....thinking only stopping for a few mins. plenty of time etc.....then before you know it time flies and I know how he is when we go out......he loves to bullshit so when with the guys from work.,,,,,,LOOK OUT lol.....

I am in no way against time apart that needed time or two with friends.....like you said we all need to just clear our heads sometimes.....but your correct it was the lack of respect and me feeling that I wasnt number one on his list that turned me off that night.

Now when kids are gone......all i have to do is tell him im going to get out my vibe and if he cares to watch or join....it would be in his favor to get home soon.....lol.....works everytime.

I have friends that the guys do this to them more often then not and thier SO thinks they could have cake and eat it too. My one friend told me her hubby did almost same as mine....went out with friends....only suppose to be for a hour or so.....he ended up staying til last call....then came home drunk and thinking she would be still wanting to have sex. Well since she didnt and him being drunk it lead into much more of a worse fight then it started out to be. I told her you can never fight/talk/reason with a person who is drunk.....He turned the whole thing around on her and actually said since SHE didnt want to screw him that she mustve got it from someone else before he came home......So he thought keeping her waiting while he was out having a good time....and then coming home...drunk...(.and im sure having that awful smokey bar smell) was suppose to turn her on and she had no right or reason to be upset. Ofcourse next day he is sorry.....yes he actually told her the words "Im sorry" lol but he has done it again.....so she is living/putting up with it...........We her friends have tried to make her see the light....but i guess she has to live and learn......I told her to come here for advice......maybe she would listen to others....maybe they can get to the bottom of why he does this to her so often......maybe the reason is he is just a jerk....i dont know.

Thanks again Howard

HC

[Tyger]

I will agree with Euphoria, there are times that I am so mad, that I just can't find the interest in sex at all. But I have never witheld because I was mad, not like a punishment. I think it is more of a "vibe" women (and sometimes men) put off when they're good and pissed off. The Don't Touch Me, I Am NOT In The Mood For You Or Your Crap Mood.

Witholding because you're mad, IMO, is a form of control.

That's just my take on it.

[ambrelyn]

Yeah, I see what you mean now. If I was that mad or upset, I probably wouldn't feel like having sex either. I don't think I would withold it just to be mean or make a point, but if I was that upset I would probably not want to be that close to him. We haven't had that happen yet; I'm hoping it never does, but we've only been together a year.