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Is your current partner The Right One for you, or are you dreaming of another person?


Wannerer

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We cannot know the future, but do you have such a feeling now that your current partner in love relationship is "The Right One" for you, with whom it will be good to live probably the rest of your life?

Or do you have some specific person in mind, who would be a more suitable "The Right One" for you than your current partner, and who you are secretly dreaming of, to be in a love relationship with this other person? (In that case: what in this other person is assumed to be better than in your current partner?)

Is your current love relationship dating, cohabiting, or marriage?

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've been with my GF for 8 yrs.

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When do you know it’s really over? 
 

My husband and I have been married for 22 years but we’ve  been separated since November. I asked for the separation and he claimed he was blind-sighted and devastated, although we’d had conversations over the summer of me being unhappy in our marriage. And I’d been distancing myself from our  relationship for about a year. I asked him to get his own place to learn how to balance responsibilities and to see a counselor. He claims to this day I am still his soul mate, yet he’s done  neither of these two things to make me consider wanting to remain in the marriage. He is living with his parents and hasn’t talked to anyone. 
 

When do you think it’s been long enough? 

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I feel you only go around once. If you’ve exhausted all your efforts and your spouse or significant other doesn’t seem to care.;find happiness in your life. I wished I didn’t stay in my marriage as long as I did, however what do I know. Each circumstance is different. I’m not a counselor but listen to your gut. Hope this helps.😎

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7 hours ago, Mountain Man said:

I don't know... but I know what you how you feel.  Similar dynamics except I am in your shoes.  27 Years.

The discussions and arguments are growing more frequent in the last year.  One person has a need the other will only fill with empty words.

Separation has recently been brought up by me.  I thought it would change the calculus of my spouse; but, it has not.

Great wife and mother, terrible lover that has the capacity to overfill my needs.  She just doesn't think it is important enough to work at it.

Thank you for sharing this with me @Mountain Man  I appreciate your vulnerability. 

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7 hours ago, Lonely and divorced said:

I feel you only go around once. If you’ve exhausted all your efforts and your spouse or significant other doesn’t seem to care.;find happiness in your life. I wished I didn’t stay in my marriage as long as I did, however what do I know. Each circumstance is different. I’m not a counselor but listen to your gut. Hope this helps.😎

@Lonely and divorced I always value your insight. Thanks for sharing 

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Thank you Katie, You’re very welcome. I really hope things work out for you. I will keep you in my prayers.🌞

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On 2/3/2023 at 5:27 PM, Katie Did It said:

When do you know it’s really over? 
 

My husband and I have been married for 22 years but we’ve  been separated since November. I asked for the separation and he claimed he was blind-sighted and devastated, although we’d had conversations over the summer of me being unhappy in our marriage. And I’d been distancing myself from our  relationship for about a year. I asked him to get his own place to learn how to balance responsibilities and to see a counselor. He claims to this day I am still his soul mate, yet he’s done  neither of these two things to make me consider wanting to remain in the marriage. He is living with his parents and hasn’t talked to anyone. 
 

When do you think it’s been long enough? 

If he doesn’t change within 30 days he’s not going to. Next, if he does change it probably won’t last. Just my opinion. I hope things work out for you with or without him. 

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You deserve to be happy Katie. You have many years ahead to enjoy your life with someone who will provide the love, appreciation and devotion that you need and deserve. I wish you all of the best. 

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@lucky13duck you’re probably right. It’s hard to let go when there once had been deep love and it had been so good. 

@MonishaS thank you for the encouragement. A new chapter is both exciting and vomit inducing. 

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