Members iso8 Posted May 8, 2007 Members Report Share Posted May 8, 2007 Sensitive topic I know but my partner was always one of those grower not a shower men. Anyway he used to quite happily make if from what i should say is all of 4 inches maybe less to 7 when erect. recently he's been getting just as hard but not as long and the sex is just not doing anything for me, the other night we were on the floor and I was wondering if i should vacuum more often..... I have to say I was instantly unimpressed the first time i got him naked I couldnt help it but once hard I instantly took it all back because of the difference. Now its not there and im not enjoying sex, I dont even really want to have it because it feels like a lot of work for nothing. Im actually quite worried we've been together for a long while and I love him a lot but sex is so important is there any possible reason for this change? I know he hasnt been doing anything differently and its definately not that he doesnt get as turned on. I just dont understand itIso Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members calvin Posted May 9, 2007 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2007 I'm far from an expert, but it sounds like sex was working for you before but isnt at the moment. Maybe you and your partner need to have a talk about it, see if you can figure out why it isnt working for you. Maybe you just need to try some new things to put some excitement back in, for you and your partner. Have a look around the tootimid sex education section and try to find something new do try.Hope that helps. Calvin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted May 9, 2007 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2007 So let me clarify, he gets HARD, but not as long?Well, I am not sure if there is a medical reason for this, but usually the erect size doesn't change that drastically. However, there can be a little bit of a change if he is REALLY turned on versus sort of turned on. THe first time you got him naked he was probably really horny and anxious and was at his "full" potential. The rest of the time he is probably at his average. Is there really THAT much of a difference?I would also caution you that size does not always have to matter. If he knows what to do with his fingers, mouth and cock then his size should matter not. Is it that you can not feel him in there? All men wax and wean during sex - are you feeling an internal change?If he is willing, you could try one of our penis pumps. They definitely do add length and girth - although it is temporary mostly. However, if you do love him, finding a solution will be the best thing for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members iso8 Posted May 9, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2007 We've been together for well over a year and i know it isnt an excitement factor because we are always so experimental and Im forever dressing up for him and buying new underware. The other night I put suspenders on I know thats his ultimate fantasy and I could tell he was really turned on its just I know it sounds weird but he wasnt as long, even he's noticed it and i know thats a big thing for a man to admit. I really do mean he doesnt get as long I mean he's just as hard but not as long and yeah mikayla sometimes it doesnt feel like he's inside me.... he said to me last night is it me or is it not growing as much and i had to agree because ive noticed it over the last month or two , could it be medical? thanks guysIso Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members iso8 Posted May 9, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2007 oops posted twice sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members iso8 Posted May 10, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2007 He is very fit slim no medical problems we know of. We generally spend 10-15 mins on foreplay and 20 mins to an hour actual intercourse although he is 24 we are a young couple the last few times we have had sex we did drink before hand...maybe this had some effect? unfortunately due to his work we only see each other at weekends, we're working on getting a place so we can be together more. I am doing kegals but I have never had an orgasm with him from any kind of stimulation, I put not having one during foreplay down to being abused when i was 16 my boyfriend was older and somewhat forced 'foreplay' incidenced upon me I have a particular problem with oral. So we tend to take vibrators to bed. I think perhaps it would be a good idea to have sex this time without drinking before hand, we rarely do but the last incidences have been after drinking maybe it would help?Thanks Howard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 I respectfully disagree with Howard to a degree on the abuse statement. It's hard to get over any sort of physical and mental abuse. And, being forced to do something you don't/didn't want to do. That can leave lasting mental scars that are hard to overcome. I've been there too, and I understand that completely. It's a hurdle to overcome. Whether you do it alone, or talking to someone, a friend, priest, doctor, or counselor, is up to you. Coming to terms with what happened, accepting it, and trying very hard to move on takes a while, and self-esteem. Plus, understanding that you are in control of your body (of course, unless it's rape). If you don't want to do something, it's OK to say "NO", and MEAN it.Howard is right though, your current BF is NOT your past BF. Your ex is an ex for a reason. Thank goodness you're out of that relationship from your past. Unfortunately, sometimes you can't help put your bad experiences in your head, even when you KNOW that he's not the one that did it. If you haven't told your current BF about your issues, and WHY, then it's time you do so. If he does know, he should be comforting you and helping you thru as much as he can.As far as the original question, alcohol can DEFINITELY affect a man's erection. Alcohol slows reflexes, and that's one of them. I would suggest a healthy dinner before, and no alcohol, the next time you get together. Lots of foreplay, and have fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted May 11, 2007 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 I agree with Tyger - when you have been abused by anyone - it is sooooo hard to separate that feeling from your next lover! I do agree that you need to put into perspective that this man IS NOT your abuser - but that might take time and counseling. Now, as for the erection issue - you did not indicate that he has a problem with GETTING erections, just that they are not as long - is that correct?So, if I was to cut to the chase, so to speak, he is just as hard, but not as long? This is a little different issue. Men can have erection issues for a lot of different reasons - alchohol is definitely one of those reasons. However, I have not heard of a man's erection being hard but not as long. For it to be a medicinal issue, I would think that it would affect the hardness too. When a man becomes aroused, his penis fills with blood, this blood flow doesn't just go around and around in his penis, but goes to the end, and flows back. Therefore, for him to be just as hard, but not as long, does not seem to indicate a blood flow issue. In fact, it seems to be unrelated as far as I could figure only because a man's length is predetermined with a little room for growth - and the blood doesn't only get it thus far.What I mean is, as I mentioned earlier, when a man is REALLY excited that blood flows into the penis SO hard that it makes it as long and hard as possible. During the sex act, the blood flow weans a bit and every man encounters a bit of softening during sex (even if he does not notice) and that is when the penis "shrinks" a bit. However, it is not only in length that it shrinks, but in girth too!This is where I become confused - how can your man be noticeably shorter but not less hard? This may be a question for a doctor - cause I am stumped - trully stumped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie Snardbuckett Posted May 14, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 My penis is like this but not as drastic as your situation. Only thing i can tell you is if you give him oral during foreplay (hopefully when not if) try holding his penis down by the base and position your thumb on the side of his penis when you are kissing , licking , sucking that sort of thing this is hard to explain but i'll try. when you move towards him (to get more into your mouth)gently tug and squeeze.and on the way back (penis exiting your mouth)rub back into the start position.Have you ever had a good shoulder rub where you kind of get a pinch then they move thier thumb then release and go back its like that but much gentler (the penis is sensitive).that has without a doubt worked for me every time.hope it works for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members iso8 Posted May 22, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2007 Hi sorry i havent replied sooner my partner has been home for a while and he doesnt know i posted this as a topic. He does know about my past abuse, he is actually very good with it and supported me through counselling and wakes me up from nightmares he's a very loving man as said before Im just finding it challenging to relax into sex. I suppose I just have to hope I get over my nerves its not that i feel like he will abuse me i know he's not the same man but i naturally become nervous like an automatic reaction. I have suggested not drinking before sex now I think it will work I hope it wil I'll let you know. Thanks for the support Isox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members iso8 Posted May 23, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 Sorry to hear of your ex wife you must have be a very strong and brave person. Incidently I did start to write a book about my experiences but I always get a few pages into it and dismiss it or delete it perhaps I should take the time to complete it. I will let you kno0w how it goes. Thank you for all your kind advice Iso x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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