Hi Ya'll!

[shylouisianagirl]

Hi everybody...I'm a 28 year old mother of two, and my 33 year old husband is not very open-minded when it comes to the bedroom...and I wish we had more sex. He has low sex drive, and takes testosterone gel to improve the problem, which helped for a couple of weeks, and then stopped working. When we were dating, we did it all the time....and now I'm lucky to get laid twice a month. We've been married 5 years this August! In fact, not too long ago, three months went by with no sex. I've asked him if it's me, and he says no, he just doesn't think about it. He hates porn and thinks toys are "weird"....What the heck?! I am a very sexual person, and I stay horny. He told me that he seriously thinks something is wrong with me and that he's never met anyone as "freakishly horny" as me. I could definitely have sex twice a day, at least. (I don't see anything wrong with that.) I have always wanted a toy, and against my husband's judgment, I bought one the other day. (Pink Passion vibrating dildo) He was upset when he saw me open the box, and said, "you wasted money on THAT?" But two days later, I brought it into the bedroom and laid it beside the bed. I started rubbing on him, and then sucking...and I heard him say "why don't you play with your new toy?" WHOA! I couldn't believe it! So I grabbed it and handed it to him and told him to use it to tease me. He got into it, and came faster than usual. The next day he asked if I had named my toy yet. (I can't believe he's starting to open up a little...) ANYWAY, I'm trying to spice things up a bit and see if I can't get him interested in sex again....any suggestions? Thanks in advance, and sorry for the long intro. It's nice to be able to vent a little, I can't very well talk to my mother-in-law about all this...

[Tyger]

Welcome fellow southerner!! Believe me, I know how you feel! My hubby and I have been married almost 5 yrs (will be as of July 4th), and he was very close minded when it came to sex toys, though he doesn't mind porn.

I had always been open about liking sex toys, and owning them. At first, he thought sex toys were replacements for the real thing. Then, he slowly started to see how much fun they can add to the bedroom! Now, he digs thru our sex toy box like a kid at Christmas, seeing if there's been any newbies added to it!

It sounds like your hubby is on the way there too. He saw how much fun they were, and is realizing he was wrong in his thinking (though a lot of men won't ever admit too LOL).

As far as his low sex drive. He's 33, and that's still young. Young enough were he really shouldn't have issues with ED, but everyone is different, and there are always exceptions to the norm. If he was on some medication for testosterone, and it doesn't seem to be working, he should probably go to the doctor and get re-examined. There may be a need for something stronger.

No, you're not a "freak" when it comes to being horny, you're young, healthy, and there's nothing wrong with that. I hate it when people say that someone is a "freak" cuz they're not like them! It's degrading, IMO.

Anyway, I hope you cruise the site, read some articles, and look at the toys. There's an ever-growing great selection of toys, many of which have reviews from real-live, everyday people, explaining the ins & outs (sometimes literally) of a toy, how it worked, or didn't work, and all sorts of good info.

Enjoy and have fun!

[clynn20]

I once asked my husband how he felt about sex toys and all he would say is it depends on the toy. So far I have stuck to costumes and whipped cream. May be they will come around more. I am wondering if it has anything to do with the Southern upbringing of males.

[suebebe]

hey shylouisianagirl! i'm from louisiana, too! looks like there are more than just one or two of us on here wonder what that says about the great state???

welcome to this group. i still consider myself fairly new here, but learning my way around real fast.

you are not alone in your situation. until a couple of months ago, i owned exactly 1 toy and just really had no desire for sex at all. in fact, if i could have convinced my husband to do it, i'd have paid a hooker for him!

anyway, one day he was out of town and i got bold and walked into an adult toy store and bought a toy. i wasn't sure how he would react, he's pretty conservative (that's putting it mildly). he was a little surprised, but saw that i was going to have a good time with him or without him and he made the wise decision to join in! girl, it was gonna happen with him or without him!

things have progressed nicely. he even stopped at the same store and bought me a toy as a surprise!

trust me, your man will come to see this as a good thing for him, too.

so far, the only firm hold out is me performing anal on him--and since i just read howard's post about homophobes in the south, maybe that explains it! i'm pretty persistant---we'll see how it pans out!

good luck and have a good time!!