Cheated On, And Can't Get Past It

[Tyger]

So, this girl cheated on her BF, while they were broken up (just for a day or so). She slept with someone else. When they got back together, she confessed to him, and since then, he hasn't wanted to sleep with her. They had had sex before.

They now fight about it constantly. He doesn't want to break up with her, but he feels he can't trust her. When he gets to her apartment, he checks her phone, which she allows him to do, so he can feel that he can trust her.

5 mos. after the confession, they get tested for HIV (always a good idea), since he kept telling her that he can't trust her, and he worries about STDs, and all of that. So, the go, and both are negative. Very lucky! After getting tested, she drops the whole "why won't you sleep with me" and guilty comments she makes. However, he can't drop the fact that he can't trust her. He reminds her of her mistake every day, and in every conversation.

A YEAR later, they've still haven't had sex, and they fight daily about it, but they say it's getting a little better. They HAD been talking about moving in together, but they've put that on hold.

What to do you think the likelihood of this relationship making it? Anyone have similar stories/situations?

[Mikayla1]

Are you KIDDING ME?

First, if they were broken up - she can sleep with whomever she wishes and SHE did NOT cheat on him! The worst she can be accused of doing is being a bit hasty to jump into the sack with another dude.

Second, if he wanted to get back together, and SHE did the right thing by admitting her sex fling, then he SHOULD trust her. She didn't need to tell him a damn thing!

Third, you are going to be with someone for this time and NOT have sex. Bullshit! She should dump his ass. He will never trust her again .....PERIOD!

This relationship is doomed and it is all because they broke up - SHE found sex first - and he can't handle it!

[whiskeywoman]

they have to be kidding, right?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it sounds to me like this relationship is pretty much over.

If they were broken up, she was not cheating by having a one nighter with some other dude.

Technically cheating is if you are married/engaged/involved exclusivly with another person, and you sleep with someone other than the person you are involved with.

"When he gets to her apartment, he checks her phone, which she allows him to do, so he can feel that he can trust her. "...

Oh PUHLEEZE!! this is simply a control manuever, if after a yeatr you havnt goten it through your thick skull that she aint cheating, maybe you need to seek a little bit of professional help, a home labotomy kit is a cheap, and fun way to get through that stubborn skulled person who refuses to pay attention to common sense, try it at a party, it is a sure fire hit!

"After getting tested, she drops the whole "why won't you sleep with me" and guilty comments she makes. However, he can't drop the fact that he can't trust her. He reminds her of her mistake every day, and in every conversation."

Yes boys and girls this is what we call a textbook case of co dependancy.

This is a old time classic mainly found in relationships where cheating and drug use has occured.

There is no clear cut winner here, only losers, yes thats right, you too can become like this couple, just simply cut off any and all rational thought and lay on the guilt.

Thats right, GUILT, its wonderfully tasty but does have a tendancy to leave a sour taste in your mouth,

side effects of guilt include but are not limited to, upset stomach, headache, nausea, vomiting, low gas milage, low self esteem, and anger contact your doctor right away if your symptoms persist or worsen or you have thoughts of doing something stupid like laying off the guilt trips, as this may cause rational realistic expectations.

GUILT, NOW TRANS FAT FREE!

A YEAR later, they've still haven't had sex, and they fight daily about it, but they say it's getting a little better"

You are joking again, right?

A year, and its geting A LITTLE better, but yet they still have not had sex.

Ok, ladies and gentlemen, this is what we call stupidity, plain and simple.

Yes i am fully aware it takes time to rebuild trust, but come on, if you are going to be in ANY type of a commited relationship you need to have some level of trust.

what, did he think he could just waltz in and have it all better?

he must have SOME KIND of trust in her if he is willing to take her back after tey broke up,

HULLO?????? COMMON SENSE IS KNOCKING, OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE!~

nope, sorry, can't sell comon sense, can we have a drive for donating it? kinda like blood ya know?

"lets all band together and help these poor morons who have no common sense"

" yes, thats right, for only 25 cents a day, less than the price of a bad cup of hospital coffee, you too can help the senseless morons like this, and prevent them from getting a job like those you see at 2 am selling grass seed on infomercials."

" please donate your share of common sense at the local blood bank"

my "un professional" diagnosis...

this relationship is DOOMED... she needs to kick his ass to the curb and not be so damned hasty the next time.

better yet, buy some toys and call it a day.

Boy he would have a massive coronary if she decided to have a affair with one of her girlfriends......

sorry, 2 hours of sleep have left me in a mood.

[Deveninny]

Anyone who hastily jumps in bed with another after a break-up isn't someone I'd like to be with anyhow. My thoughts.... run forest run.

I've done it...you've probably done it...it's never been an answer to anything.

Keith