Members babygurl Posted September 4, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 I suffered significant trauma during childbirth, tearing all the way through my sphincter. My OB has warned me that another vaginal birth could cause additional trauma to the area. Repeat trauma raises an 80% risk of incontinence. So... my question is, do you think anal sex/play is risky? Should I avoid it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members krisleightate Posted September 4, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 I am not a doctor but I would avoid it if I was in your place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cdwaldorf Posted September 5, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 With my first baby I had a fourth degree tear. I tore right up to my sphincter and for a couple of months it was uncomfortable to even go to the bathroom. It has been four years later (and 2 vaginal births later) and it has healed just fine. I would hold off on any anal play for a while but rest assure you will be able to have anal sex. It was about 6 months before I would even let me husband caress my butt. I do have scar tissue on my perineum that can give me some problems (mostly when it stretches) but it is not painful. A good indication when to start having anal sex is when you don't have any pain during a bowl movement. About 4 months everything felt normal but I waited an additional 2 months to be on the safe side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members babygurl Posted September 5, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 With my first baby I had a fourth degree tear. I tore right up to my sphincter and for a couple of months it was uncomfortable to even go to the bathroom. It has been four years later (and 2 vaginal births later) and it has healed just fine. I would hold off on any anal play for a while but rest assure you will be able to have anal sex. It was about 6 months before I would even let me husband caress my butt. I do have scar tissue on my perineum that can give me some problems (mostly when it stretches) but it is not painful. A good indication when to start having anal sex is when you don't have any pain during a bowl movement. About 4 months everything felt normal but I waited an additional 2 months to be on the safe side.Mine tore all the way through. So you don't think anal will traumatize the area?BTW, it has been several years so I'm not still healing. I just don't want to traumatize the area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 5, 2007 Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 If you had such a huge tear, I would definitely abstain until you get the advise from your OB/GYN. Trust me, they KNOW that anal sex happens, and I am sure that they'd rather you ask them questions than risk injuring yourself even further, when it was fully avoidable.Your GYN has heard & seen it all, so please please please don't be shy asking THAT doctor questions!! After all (s)he has seen you inside & out!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted September 5, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 There is a giant difference between being able to have a BM and having something inserted into an "exit only" area. I am very, very pro anal sex - but in your case, I would definitely listen to your OBGYN. While anal sex is wonderful - I would never recommend going against your doctor. Also, I wouldn't risk the permanent damage it could case.When in doubt, listen to your doctor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cdwaldorf Posted September 5, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 When I read your post I thought you had recently had a baby. I would talk with your OB/GYN and have him/her look at the area. If it still not healed then I would refrain from any anal play. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members babygurl Posted September 15, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2007 When I read your post I thought you had recently had a baby. I would talk with your OB/GYN and have him/her look at the area. If it still not healed then I would refrain from any anal play.I did talk to him and he recommends against anal intercourse. I think *some* anal play, excluding intercourse, could be alright. I have had rectal exams, so something equal in level of intensity. Any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 15, 2007 Report Share Posted September 15, 2007 Again, I will adhere to what I said earlier, if your doctor recommends against anal intercourse, then I would abstain from that altogether. Anal play is fun, but it's not worth permanent damage. Check with your doctor if (s)he meant ANY anal play. Maybe your doctor has an idea of how big a toy could be, or finger, that could be safe.Having a rectal exam is NOTHING like anal sex. With a rectal exam, it's a controlled, small scope going up there, lots of medical grade lubricant, and out. With anal sex, things go in and out, like regular vaginal intercourse, or you have something up in there, while having sex, which could irritate the scar tissue, causing bruising, or ripping.I'm not going to give any ideas, just out of concern, since, your doctor recommended against it. It's better to play it safe, than having to go back to the ER to have something fixed that could've been avoided. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToyQueen Posted September 16, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2007 I thought about this for a while. I had no plans to respond because I have never had anal sex, but I have to make a comment.A rectal exam is done with the doctor's finger or fingers. A colonoscopy is done with a small scope. They are totally different.If your doctor said no anal sex, I would either go with no penetration, or I would question him further. He knows what kind of repair was done. He should know the extent of the damage done when you tore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members babygurl Posted September 16, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2007 I thought about this for a while. I had no plans to respond because I have never had anal sex, but I have to make a comment.A rectal exam is done with the doctor's finger or fingers. A colonoscopy is done with a small scope. They are totally different.If your doctor said no anal sex, I would either go with no penetration, or I would question him further. He knows what kind of repair was done. He should know the extent of the damage done when you tore.Thanks for all of your replies and concern. I definitely do not want to do anything that would jeopardize my health. I did discuss it with him, it was actually preempted by the rectal exam with his finger... I asked him if that was safe and told him of my concerns. He talked to me about the tissue between the walls being thin and how he advised against anal "intercourse" to err on the side of caution, but I came away with the impression based on our discussion that finger play (gentle) and lesser play would be safe as that could be controlled carefully. I have also had a colonoscopy, but this was a finger exam. I felt good having a frank and open discussion with him about it. I would not want to do anything more than gentle stimulation with a finger or smaller for that reason. I could ask him to clarify but I felt I got his message loud and clear.Howard, I thought about the same thing you mentioned immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 16, 2007 Report Share Posted September 16, 2007 I would definitely get clarification, and not just an impression. Sometimes doctors "think" you get it, since they do, but they really should be specific. And, we as patients, should learn to ask better questions too.I had a great OB/GYN when I was in ME, pregnant. She was a tiny woman, about my age, maybe a few yrs older, and she was so cute! She looked so sweet, but she was very knowlegable, and I felt comfortable opening up to her about all of my health issues during and after the birth of our daughter. I figured, she had seen me inside and out, there's not much I could really hide from her! LOL It's great that you have a doctor you can feel like you can open up to as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie sarmakala Posted October 25, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted October 25, 2007 How did your tear occur? Was the baby in an unusual position during the birth? Were you lying on your back, or in a full squat? Did the doc give you an episiotomy before you tore? Were you encouraged to expulsively(breath holding) push the baby out?I have given birth to 3 babies, and if you want to avoid another bad tear IF you plan to have more babies, I can help you avoid tears and c-section with some information. I gave birth to my 3rd baby who came out face first (widest part of the head) with no tears! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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