Advanced Bondage.....

[Mikayla1]

It has been a while since I have posted a new topic on this forum, so I found it to be high time! Lately there has been a lot of discussion on forum regarding BDSM - particularly, the more advanced relationships. This got me to thinking - we all have different levels of experience when it comes to this - and I am interested in what types of experiences the BDSM lovers have had?

Have you ever been to a club? What is the most extreme thing you have participated in? Ropes or handcuffs? Do you live IN the lifestyle (meaning only have DOM / sub sex or is it recreational? Electrosex? Flogging? Blood play?

Inquiring minds want to know....how far have YOU gone in BDSM?

[krisleightate]

Right now I am not in the lifestyle, bc my SO is not into it and he is trying to learn so we are starting out slow. But for me I have done knife play, flogging, and fire play. I have obviously been tied down and handcuffed before. But the first three would have to be the most extreme.

[Mikayla1]

Kris....do you ever really "leave" the lifestyle once you are in??? LOL. My hubby was hard to train - REALLY hard to train. He is so reserved and nice that it took a long, long time to get him to understand that being DOM does not mean being an "asshole!" Once he realized how much I get off on him taking charge in the bedroom he was ALLLL for it!

For me, I have really run the gamut of BDSM. As I have stated many times previously, I dated a man for 7 years who was heavy into BDSM - and we actually learned and grew together in the lifestyle. We started basic - blindfolds, handcuffs, hot wax - and got much more advanced - restraint systems, cutting and blood play, cinching, Shirabi, collars and leashes, and object insertion play.

This all led to us pushing the limits of what we could do - the bigger the toy the better, the more orgasms the better, the hotter the wax - the better. Eventually I started working in a club as a DOM (sometimes a sub) and I really didn't feel in my place as the one in control. Now that I am married I do not go to the clubs (my club closed years ago) but I do miss the more "formal" set-up that I had with my ex.

The reason I suggest that you never really leave the lifestyle is because once you have been somebody's sub in the manner that I was - you never really leave that mentality when it comes to sex! I will always be a sub - it just depends on how hard we want to play.

[Kinky Twinkie]

Kris....do you ever really "leave" the lifestyle once you are in??? LOL. My hubby was hard to train - REALLY hard to train. He is so reserved and nice that it took a long, long time to get him to understand that being DOM does not mean being an "asshole!" Once he realized how much I get off on him taking charge in the bedroom he was ALLLL for it!

For me, I have really run the gamut of BDSM. As I have stated many times previously, I dated a man for 7 years who was heavy into BDSM - and we actually learned and grew together in the lifestyle. We started basic - blindfolds, handcuffs, hot wax - and got much more advanced - restraint systems, cutting and blood play, cinching, Shirabi, collars and leashes, and object insertion play.

This all led to us pushing the limits of what we could do - the bigger the toy the better, the more orgasms the better, the hotter the wax - the better. Eventually I started working in a club as a DOM (sometimes a sub) and I really didn't feel in my place as the one in control. Now that I am married I do not go to the clubs (my club closed years ago) but I do miss the more "formal" set-up that I had with my ex.

The reason I suggest that you never really leave the lifestyle is because once you have been somebody's sub in the manner that I was - you never really leave that mentality when it comes to sex! I will always be a sub - it just depends on how hard we want to play.

Can ya'll explain the knife play, cutting and blood play? Those sound so extreme and we don't want people to have a very negative image. I have heard of it, don't understand it, but then I didn't spanking either til some people who were really into it demonstrated it to me. These were pro dominatrixes who actually have appeared in real sex on hbo and run a swing/masturbation club. Once they gave me a sample I saw it wasn't anything like I thought it would be nor was it anything like some of my friends were doing. After playing with some of the toys at the local sex shops, I realized most these toys were more noise makers then pain makers. So I don't want me or anyone else to get the wrong idea and go playing with something only to end up in emergency room for stabbing and stiches if you know what I mean.

Glenn

[krisleightate]

Kris....do you ever really "leave" the lifestyle once you are in??? LOL. My hubby was hard to train - REALLY hard to train. He is so reserved and nice that it took a long, long time to get him to understand that being DOM does not mean being an "asshole!" Once he realized how much I get off on him taking charge in the bedroom he was ALLLL for it!

For me, I have really run the gamut of BDSM. As I have stated many times previously, I dated a man for 7 years who was heavy into BDSM - and we actually learned and grew together in the lifestyle. We started basic - blindfolds, handcuffs, hot wax - and got much more advanced - restraint systems, cutting and blood play, cinching, Shirabi, collars and leashes, and object insertion play.

This all led to us pushing the limits of what we could do - the bigger the toy the better, the more orgasms the better, the hotter the wax - the better. Eventually I started working in a club as a DOM (sometimes a sub) and I really didn't feel in my place as the one in control. Now that I am married I do not go to the clubs (my club closed years ago) but I do miss the more "formal" set-up that I had with my ex.

The reason I suggest that you never really leave the lifestyle is because once you have been somebody's sub in the manner that I was - you never really leave that mentality when it comes to sex! I will always be a sub - it just depends on how hard we want to play.

I know just what you mean, but I ment it in that I am tryin to get SO into it, and so far so good. It is hard going though he is a submissive person all around, and I never could do the Dom part I tried but it felt like I was out of order or something.

[krisleightate]

Can ya'll explain the knife play, cutting and blood play? Those sound so extreme and we don't want people to have a very negative image. I have heard of it, don't understand it, but then I didn't spanking either til some people who were really into it demonstrated it to me. These were pro dominatrixes who actually have appeared in real sex on hbo and run a swing/masturbation club. Once they gave me a sample I saw it wasn't anything like I thought it would be nor was it anything like some of my friends were doing. After playing with some of the toys at the local sex shops, I realized most these toys were more noise makers then pain makers. So I don't want me or anyone else to get the wrong idea and go playing with something only to end up in emergency room for stabbing and stiches if you know what I mean.

Glenn

Knife play is sort of like trying to barely cut the skin, or just even leaving a welp, Just enough to hurt. Cutting is knife play but actually trying to cut the skin.

[Kinky Twinkie]

Knife play is sort of like trying to barely cut the skin, or just even leaving a welp, Just enough to hurt. Cutting is knife play but actually trying to cut the skin.

So there actually cutting involved, the other is just the threat of it sort of speaking

Glenn

[krisleightate]

So there actually cutting involved, the other is just the threat of it sort of speaking

Glenn

There can be actual cutting involved, it depends on how far the sub is willing to let it go.

[Tyger]

As far as what I've gone thru, I've been on both sides, SUB & DOM, but extremely light, IMO.

I've been bitten, bite, tied up, gagged with a sash, blindfolded (and sometimes all at the same time). I've had my lover lay completely still, and didn't "allow" him to move at all, then tell him what he was allowed to do. If he went too far, he got "punished" lightly (left to squirm or tortured some more orally).

I've been "forced" to do a few things. No safe words, since, there is NO question when I want to either not do something or I want whatever is happening to stop.

I would consider myself a lightweight.

[Mikayla1]

Glenn, while I appreciate your suggestion to explain better so people do not get the wrong idea, I felt it unneccessary to explain because the topic heading is "ADVANCED bondage" and I posed it to those people who practice it and thereby know what "knife play" or other types of play are.

However, in the spirit of learning, I will explain some more:

(NOTE: THE DESCRIPTIONS AND DISCUSSION OF THIS TYPE OF BDSM PLAY ARE FOR LEARNING ONLY - TOO TIMID IN NO WAY SUGGESTS THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ACCUSTOMED TO THIS TYPE OF PLAY TRY TO DO SO. SOME OF THESE TYPES OF PLAY CAN BE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.)

Shibari is the Japanese art of rope bondage, very particular knot formations, particular attention to the erogenous zones, this is a practiced "art" if you will

Blood play is a wide range of sexual activity where blood is a key part. For example, the DOM could cut his sub and then lick or such out the blood (in true vampire style) - and for some people blood play means a deeper cut and the smearing of the blood (erotic for blood players)

Electro sex is when a special "sex toy" is electrified with a charge. There are electro wands, which deliver a sort of static shock (it looks like one of those novelty lightening balls only smaller). Then there are more advanced ones for men and women where the device is attached to the genitals and a small electric shock is rendered. I have tried this, it really isn't entirely painful.

Flogging is like spanking only you use a flogger. Floggers are traditionally made of leather with a handle and a variation of knotted leather straps. Some people prefer paddles (wooden) instead of floggers, but then you would be spanking, not flogging.

Switching is when you change DOM / sub roles - so if you were traditionally a DOM, but went sub, you were switching. People who do this are known as a switch

Swapping is when a couple "swaps" subs and DOMS - traditionally the sub is swapped for another.

Fire Play is when alchohol is rubbed on the skin in a SMALL amount and lit. NOT the whole body, just certain parts. THIS IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS!

Wax play is when a special low melting point sex wax is melted and applied to the skin. Some players use traditional candles (which is extremely dangerous as well) and / or insert the candles into the orifices and let the wax drip.

Sensation play is where the different senses are either prohibited or played with. SIght, sound, speaking, or most commonly the use of different objects to stimulate (feathers, whips, ice)

Hanging or suspension is a form of rope play where the sub is dangled or hung in such a manner that the DOM can do what he / she wants with the sub. There are very extreme forms of this.

Animal or pony play is when the sub (traditionally) is used as a Pony or another animal. There is a whole subculure of "ponies" and riders who use each other as a such and there are extreme costuming opportunities with this.

Medical play is when medical devices (enemas, are a popular one) are used to provide sexual gratification

Pinching Play is when the body is "pinched" using clamps or clothespins. I too have tried this with clothespins on my pussy - and while the application is a bit painful, the release is divine

Psychological play is when the sub is broken down mentally. This is commonly intermixed with other types of play, but not all DOMS believe in humiliation or psychological play.

Insertion play is where "non-traditional" objects are inserted into the pussy or rectum. Common objects are wine bottles, beer cans, bowling pins, or rather large or unusual sex toys

Fisting play is not exclusively BDSM, but it is used by many DOMS and it is when the entire hand up to the wrist is inserted into the pussy or rectum (yes, there is rectal fisting) and a fist is made

Water Play is when water is a key player in the sex. This can be submission, pouring of water onto the sub, making them drink lots of water and then making them pee OR holding their pee

There are soooo many other types of play, many involve festishism or paraphilia (look for my article on the differences here soon) and this is paricular to the person, not the BDSM community as a whole.

I hope this was enlightening!

[krisleightate]

Mikayla

I knew you could explain it all better than me lol. I just don't have the way with words you do.

[Mikayla1]

I disagree Kris...you definitely have a way with words!

I just happen to know more because I was pretty deep in the lifestyle and worked in a club for a bit!\

[jesso]

I've dabbled in quite a bit of Shibari, spanking, wax, sensation, insertion and clamps. Wow, gets me hot just thinking about it!

[elise]

Glenn, while I appreciate your suggestion to explain better so people do not get the wrong idea, I felt it unneccessary to explain because the topic heading is "ADVANCED bondage"

Quite right. There are some things that beginners can do, and others that require a lot of experience.

I am very much the sexual sub in our relationship, although that doesn't necessarily translate into other areas of our life. Ahem. Most of our sex is not BDSM per se, but there is no question that my husband is in charge of what happens in our bed. Which is to say that whatever he says goes, until I tell him otherwise (the secret of being a good sub!)

Our BDSM play has been pretty 'vanilla', I guess, when I look at your list. Most of the advanced stuff you've mentioned... well, we've tried it, but it hasn't stayed in the reportoire.

I am almost always the tied one, when we play. We do not use a safeword or signal. Yes, that has resulted in my being forced to go way, way, WAY beyond what I felt I was ready to do in the beginning of an encounter, but I also implicitly trust my man to not do me any lasting harm, and as a result his DOM-ness has taken me to places of extreme pleasure I could never have gone otherwise.

We do role-play/force-fantasy play more than anything else, really. I hate to say we've got into a rut, because we haven't, but dammit, some things just WORK!

We've done some fairly extreme sensation play in the past (as in had to throw out the bedsheets), but most of our play in that area now uses more subtle things... feathers, Altoid mints, ice cubes, and the like. Insertion and medical play, likewise, have been a lot of fun in the past, but we don't get into that as much any more.

[Mikayla1]

Elise,

I am curious, what type of medical play did you engage in? Why were your sheets ruined? Inquiring minds (OK, mine) wants to know, if you feel like sharing!

[pappyld04]

I think, for beginners, it is important to realize that the object is NOT to break your toy(s). If you go too far your toy is nevermore. Bodily fluids is another that should be spoken on also. If you are unsure of your partner either don't go there or at the very least protect yourself well. In blood play there are IMHO far more dangerous possibilities than other fluids. Bloodborne diseases run the gamut on intensity and availability. So by all means if you fear your partners past do not tread here, AT ALL!

[Tyger]

Well said. I think it bears repeating that BDSM requires a huge amount of TRUST, and if there is any sort of hesitency, then one should not partake in it.

[Mikayla1]

Yes, people REALLY do this stuff and much, much more! I personally have experimented with most of this but not fire play or anything to do with fecal matter or urine!

Cutting play is not always as extreme as you would think. Most cutting play involves small "slices" on the skin, enough to draw a little blood. Blood play is for more of the extreme bondage people (and it is very dangerous if you do not know who you are sharing blood with) and can also be something that the "vampire" players enjoy.

As with most things, this type of play is an acquired taste and is not for everyone - but you have to admit, it is very interesting to see what some people find enticing!

[elise]

Elise,

I am curious, what type of medical play did you engage in? Why were your sheets ruined? Inquiring minds (OK, mine) wants to know, if you feel like sharing!

The sheets got ruined one time when we tried some sensation play: I was bound and blindfolded, and my b/f rubbed various liquids on me like honey and olive oil and other condiments. The stains from blackberry jelly just wouldn't wash out. The sheets were old and ready for the dumpster in any case, which is why we used those sheets for that particular session.

As for medical play, it's been pretty mild stuff. Enema & douche play, "playing doctor", and so on. We once had the key to a doctor friend's clinic (my hb was fixing his computer system over a weekend), so we got to play out one of my fantasies, which was having sex on an examination table with my feet up in the high stirrups. The reality didn't quite measure up to the fantasy, but it was fun anyway!

[hotrob]

Right now I am not in the lifestyle, bc my SO is not into it and he is trying to learn so we are starting out slow. But for me I have done knife play, flogging, and fire play. I have obviously been tied down and handcuffed before. But the first three would have to be the most extreme.

My girl friend and I take turns tying each other. We use only cotton rope with ball gags and sometimes blindfolds. Most of the time the one doing the tying has the other do oral sex on them. I reach orgasm just tying her. I also reach orgasm as she is tying me. The sex is not only gratifying, the orgasm reached is totally out of this world. Just tying her hands behind her then the ball gag and then tying her feet, legs, arms waist and pulling all the ropes tighter just drive us into outer space. I and she continue to experiment in new ties. Stringing the ropes ubove and below her breats and through her vigina to pull her arms tight cannot help but drive you wild. We take our time doing the roping to highen the orgasms. touching each other and doing a little oral touching during the roping gets almost to high to explain.

The sensation of having the other in total control is hard to explain, being forced to satisfy her time and time again drives me to come over and over. The same goes for her when I am tying her. I sometimes come so hard I have to leave her totally tied up until I can rest and come again. I can think of no other way to have great sex.

[hotrob]

Right now I am not in the lifestyle, bc my SO is not into it and he is trying to learn so we are starting out slow. But for me I have done knife play, flogging, and fire play. I have obviously been tied down and handcuffed before. But the first three would have to be the most extreme.

My girl friend and I take turns tying each other. We use only cotton rope with ball gags and sometimes blindfolds. Most of the time the one doing the tying has the other do oral sex on them. I reach orgasm just tying her. I also reach orgasm as she is tying me. The sex is not only gratifying, the orgasm reached is totally out of this world. Just tying her hands behind her then the ball gag and then tying her feet, legs, arms waist and pulling all the ropes tighter just drive us into outer space. I and she continue to experiment in new ties. Stringing the ropes ubove and below her breats and through her vigina to pull her arms tight cannot help but drive you wild. We take our time doing the roping to highen the orgasms. touching each other and doing a little oral touching during the roping gets almost to high to explain.

The sensation of having the other in total control is hard to explain, being forced to satisfy her time and time again drives me to come over and over. The same goes for her when I am tying her. I sometimes come so hard I have to leave her totally tied up until I can rest and come again. I can think of no other way to have great sex.

[hotrob]

Kris....do you ever really "leave" the lifestyle once you are in??? LOL. My hubby was hard to train - REALLY hard to train. He is so reserved and nice that it took a long, long time to get him to understand that being DOM does not mean being an "asshole!" Once he realized how much I get off on him taking charge in the bedroom he was ALLLL for it!

For me, I have really run the gamut of BDSM. As I have stated many times previously, I dated a man for 7 years who was heavy into BDSM - and we actually learned and grew together in the lifestyle. We started basic - blindfolds, handcuffs, hot wax - and got much more advanced - restraint systems, cutting and blood play, cinching, Shirabi, collars and leashes, and object insertion play.

This all led to us pushing the limits of what we could do - the bigger the toy the better, the more orgasms the better, the hotter the wax - the better. Eventually I started working in a club as a DOM (sometimes a sub) and I really didn't feel in my place as the one in control. Now that I am married I do not go to the clubs (my club closed years ago) but I do miss the more "formal" set-up that I had with my ex.

The reason I suggest that you never really leave the lifestyle is because once you have been somebody's sub in the manner that I was - you never really leave that mentality when it comes to sex! I will always be a sub - it just depends on how hard we want to play.

My girl friend and I take turns tying each other. We use only cotton rope with ball gags and sometimes blindfolds. Most of the time the one doing the tying has the other do oral sex on them. I reach orgasm just tying her. I also reach orgasm as she is tying me. The sex is not only gratifying, the orgasm reached is totally out of this world. Just tying her hands behind her then the ball gag and then tying her feet, legs, arms waist and pulling all the ropes tighter just drive us into outer space. I and she continue to experiment in new ties. Stringing the ropes ubove and below her breats and through her vigina to pull her arms tight cannot help but drive you wild. We take our time doing the roping to highen the orgasms. touching each other and doing a little oral touching during the roping gets almost to high to explain.

The sensation of having the other in total control is hard to explain, being forced to satisfy her time and time again drives me to come over and over. The same goes for her when I am tying her. I sometimes come so hard I have to leave her totally tied up until I can rest and come again. I can think of no other way to have great sex.

[hotrob]

Knife play is sort of like trying to barely cut the skin, or just even leaving a welp, Just enough to hurt. Cutting is knife play but actually trying to cut the skin.

My girl friend and I take turns tying each other. We use only cotton rope with ball gags and sometimes blindfolds. Most of the time the one doing the tying has the other do oral sex on them. I reach orgasm just tying her. I also reach orgasm as she is tying me. The sex is not only gratifying, the orgasm reached is totally out of this world. Just tying her hands behind her then the ball gag and then tying her feet, legs, arms waist and pulling all the ropes tighter just drive us into outer space. I and she continue to experiment in new ties. Stringing the ropes ubove and below her breasts and through her vigina to pull her arms tight cannot help but drive you wild. We take our time doing the roping to highen the orgasms. touching each other and doing a little oral touching during the roping gets almost to high to explain.

The sensation of having the other in total control is hard to explain, being forced to satisfy her time and time again drives me to come over and over. The same goes for her when I am tying her. I sometimes come so hard I have to leave her totally tied up until I can rest and come again. I can think of no other way to have great sex.

Read bondage 101 for ideas