How Timid?

[ladybug]

I am 18 years old and my boyfriend of 4 months is 9 years older than I. A couple weeks ago he said he would marry me if he knew that I was good at sex; then he wanted us to spend the weekend together. I have decided I am now ready to have sex with him. I am a virgin but do not have a hymen closure. How can I show him by my actions that I am pure, yet show I can be a sexy wife?

Should I lick and suck his penis in foreplay? How should I act if he wants to lick my clitoris?

Should I move my hips in rhythm when he goes in and out or lie still?

And should I tell him what i like and be very vocal if I have a climax?

I would appreciate suggestions, thanks.

[sexysandra]

Honey,

If you are really an 18 yr old girl and this is serious. Tell him to hit the door!

He is 9 years older than you and manipulating you. You should never lose your virginity to a bastard like that!

You have waited so far. Wait for that special person who loves you and you feel connected with and you are at similar places in life. Don't ever let a guy tell you something so asinine as "I"ll marry you if youare good in bed".

Sweetie, I date my share of guys, and I made my share of mistakes. I know that this ass is no good for you. The nerve!!!

sexysandra

[gethen]

just to give a male point of view here i agree with sexysandra, If he was really ready to marry you, He would not say it in that way,,,

My wife and I have been married 8 years we dated a very short time 4 months but knew each other for about 1 year anyhow i dated alot of times in the past and was not a virgin when we got married my wife on the other hand was a virgin when we got married we did alot of foreplay before hand and she even acted as if she was ready meaning in physical ways but i always stopped because i knew she would of regrettted it

anyhow long story short when you love someone it does not matter how good they are in bed you learn over time btw at the time we got marred i was 22 just turned and my wife 24 i tease with her and say that is one of the many reasons i married her her Bday is one day before mine so i can;t forget it anyhow i hope this makes since if not pm me my 3 and a half year old is doing the 20'000 questions to me in world record time haha so can't concentrate all the way

Gethen

[CC07]

Girl...you're 18 but sound like a 15 years old. Please. Don't ask us. Ask your friends what to do in bed. And if he's 27, go find a nice guy your own age. You'll both be inexperienced and have more fun learning.

[Chris4u]

Several things...first off, marriage only after 4 months of dating

Secondly and most importantly, he said he wouldn't marry you unless you were good at sex. Marriage is about love, not sex. Sex is the icing on the cake, but hardly the foundation. He just wants sex and depending on how good you are he may stay with you or move on to someone else. There are jerks like that and loosing your virginity shouldn't be to such a guy. You don't have to rush losing your virginity, just find the right, special guy (you don't have to marry him, but if he is nice, considerate, and more...go for it if it feels right). Don't settle with this guy though. You may think he will stay being your boyfriend, but the story could have a sad ending for you (and NOT for him).

Be patient, you'll find someone sooner than you may think.

[ladybug]

I believe I have mislead you all. My boyfriend has many great attributes and has never been forceful about him and I having sex. I don't blame him for wanting a wife who is good in bed. I want a husband who is good at sex also.

I have watched three instructional sex videos, they all go over oral sex, positions, and on and on. All this leaves me wondering how much knowledge would be wise to exhibit in the beginning.

The advice to fault my boyfriend for that one statement is not appropriate in my case. I believe I have quoted him "out of context"

[Chris4u]

But ask yourself this, would you break up a relationship over the fact that your partner wasn't great in bed, yet you were madly inlove?

People who think in that context may never find the love of their life, because they have some fantasy that is just that...a fantasy. Over time both will improve, but even if ones progress is slower than desired, one must feel the need to find another partner.

You may have quoted your boyfriend incorrectly or at least it sounded harsher than his sarcastic reply may have been.

Over time you'll get better, so don't worry immediately that you aren't what he expected. If he's a good bf then he'll help you along the way. Do all that you know to this point. Don't hold back, you'll have to try those moves out anyway in the future. Just relax and have fun, he's not expected pornstar sex.

[sexysandra]

sweetie,

your concerns are about the wrong things. if he really loves you and knows that you are a virgin, he wouldn't put pressure on you about performing.

lovers are good togethr. If you find a "man" (I use that term loosely at your age) that really loves you and wants to be intimate with you becuase he cares about you. He will be patient and understanding. He will be gentle and kind and you will be the decision maker about when and how, not him. He will be concerned about making you feel good and not so much about you making him feel good.

Great sex is a joint effort, it takes two people! It also takes time to get to know each other in that way and to get comfortable with each other. this takes time. You don't read a book or watch a video and try all of the "moves" the first time you are with someone. The first time is a little awkard and exciting. You are getting past the first time they see you naked. You are getting familiar with each others bodies. You are learning what the other person likes through trial and error....... After you learn each others smell, taste and little secrets, then you start trying "moves".... Sex is a wonderful, erotic, pleasurable experience that gets better with time. You have to be patient and savor everything from the first time his fingertip touches your skin to the most kinky and risque...

Your questions and attitude puzzle me. I just really think that if you are telling the truth about this situation, you are really in denial about this guy.

You don't seem ready. My advice: Tell him to cool it. Buy a vibrator and explore your body and learn what makes you feel good. When he's ready to ask you what pleases you in bed instead of if you are going to be good for him in bed, then maybe you could reconsider. But I doubt it.....

sexy

[Jen]

I LOVE when good advice is passed along by the masses!

Ladybug, listen to the advice of these wise people. We all want our husbands/wives to be good in bed, but to make it a prerequisite to a marriage proposal? I don't think so!

If your boyfriend (and that's what he's acting like-- a boy) really loved you the last thing he would be doing was laying down ultimatums like this. Instead he would be respwcting the fact that you were a virgin and not ready to jump into bed.

My guess is that you haven't even been sexually active with this guy (or anyone else) so why the need to jump right to having sex? Grow up--menatlly, physically, and sexually before you give up a very special thing about yourself--your virginity.

Jen