Customer Service

[pappyld04]

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

Customer Support:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Caller:

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

CS:

"What sort of trouble?"

C:

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

CS:

"Went away?"

C:

"They disappeared."

CS:

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

C:

"Nothing."

CS:

"Nothing?"

C:

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

CS:

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

C:

"How do I tell?"

CS:

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

C:

"What's a sea-prompt?"

CS:

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

C:

"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

CS:

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

C:

"What's a monitor?"

CS:

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

C:

"I don't know."

CS:

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

C:

"Yes, I think so."

CS:

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

C:

".......Yes, it is."

CS:

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

C:

"No."

CS:

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

C:

".......Okay, here it is."

CS:

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

CS:

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

C:

"No."

CS:

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

C:

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

CS:

"Dark?"

C:

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

CS:

"Well, turn on the office light then."

C:

"I can't."

CS:

"No? Why not?"

C:

"Because there's a power outage."

CS:

"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

C:

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

CS:

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

C:

"Really? Is it that bad?"

CS:

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

C:

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

CS:

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

[bazil323]

The caller sounds like some people I work with! lol

[pappyld04]

It may be one of your co-workers that wrote this!LOL!

[hollybw]

My father used to do tech support. He has had callers before whom he actually had to tell how to turn on their computers. This really does happen!

[pappyld04]

Isn't it amazing that common sense is quickly being bred out of the human race? I don't think we would have heard this 20 years ago. And the sad part is that they probably had an owner's manual.