What Is A Good Beginner's Vibrator?

[perkynipples]

I am apprehensive about using vibrators, but unfortunately, my husband has lost all interest in having sex. I'm an attractive female with a decent body. I wear sexy lingerie all of the time to bed and still nothing. So, I am considering buying a vibrator. I think about sex way too much....and I feel lonely. This is really unchartered territory for me so what is a good "beginner's model" type/kind to buy?

[Mikayla1]

Ok honey, there are many good vibrators to choose from, but I sense that your real question is, "how do I get my hubby back into sex with me?" I think that if you want to use a vibrator, use it in front of him...maybe he will get the hint!

How long have you been married?

How long has it been since you have had sex?

Is your husband on any kind of medicine or having any stress at work that would play into his lack of interest?

Have you told him about your want for sex?

These are just a few questions that may help me to help you. I think that a vibrator is a wonderful thing for both mutual play and individual play. However, I think that if you are married and love your husband you should probably address the bigger issue of why you aren't having sex with him, instead of putting a band-aid on the problem by buyig a vibrator.

If you want to buy a vibrator there are many available on this site's homepage, or on other sites as well....but lets get down to the nitty gritty and find a solution that will help you use the vibrator WITH your husband, OK?

Mikayla

[perkynipples]

I am apprehensive about using vibrators, but unfortunately, my husband has lost all interest in having sex. I'm an attractive female with a decent body. I wear sexy lingerie all of the time to bed and still nothing. So, I am considering buying a vibrator. I think about sex way too much....and I feel lonely. This is really unchartered territory for me so what is a good "beginner's model" type/kind to buy?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for your input. I have been married five years. It's probably been 8 months or so.........I really don't remember. It's been so frustrating that I have probably blocked the actual time out. No, he doesn't take any medicine. He says it's his age (42) and that he has gained weight. He works really hard...........and when he comes home, he is always tired. When I mentioned the vibrator idea, he seems real upset....like I have offended him. He does not want to do anything with that idea.

Yes, I've expressed my frustration numerous times. He listens and then usually leaves me a note the next morning about how much he loves me and how sorry he is. I've discussed his going to the doctor..........he never comments. I believe he is too embarassed to discuss this situation. Honestly, since we've been married, I believe he has problems with erectile dysfunction. (I've never encountered this before so it is difficult to understand.) Unfortunately, as I've explained to him, I take all of this so personally. It's amazing to me that I'll have men look up, try and flirt with me, watch me, etc. etc. in stores, while driving, and out in the public...........and yet I can't get my own husband interested in me sexually.

I feel like I could open my own sexy lingerie store by now.......I've purchased so many things. They do make me feel better about myself.........but then when he doesn't even touch me or say anything, I feel even more depressed. (Like right now, for this evening, I have on a real low-cut..........I'm a 36C........see through baby doll........that is open all the way down the front.....and has a matching see through thong. I have open bust baby dolls, open bust bras with thongs, a teddy with holes just for the nipples to pop out and an open crotch and butt .....and of course, my "perky nipples" show through everything (I thought that was supposed to be a turn on for guys! ha!)

I've mentioned some sexual enhancement type pills and he says that he believes they are dangerous.

He is a wonderful, very nice-looking man, and swears to me he's not gay! He treats me great.........except for this intimate problem that we have. I thought most men would love to have this problem.........a wife dressing up in sexy lingerie every night who wants to be touched and have sex a lot.........

So, any other thoughts? This hurts my self-esteem and I'm normally a pretty confident professional woman.

[Mikayla1]

He says it's his age (42) and that he has gained weight. He works really hard...........and when he comes home, he is always tired. When I mentioned the vibrator idea, he seems real upset....like I have offended him. He does not want to do anything with that idea.

Ok, first of all, his age probably has nothing to do with it, nor his weight gain. It is more likely that he is stressed and can't relax. Once a man experiences any type of erectile dysfunction he will continually think about it next time he has sex. If he is afraid that it will happen again, he will most likely shy away from sex.

The vibrator idea probably intimidates him, as if you can get off without him. You have to let him know, in the nicest, sweetest way you can't have a marriage without sex. Sex is something that is important to you, and you want it and need it and want him to want and need it too. You have to make him understand that you love him, and want to work things out, but he has to take steps to try and find the problem. If he is not willing to at least go to the Dr and get his testosterone level checked and his blood flow level checked, then I would question some things. If this man loves you then he would be willing to do everything in his power to help fix this relationship.

You brought up the idea of him possibly being "gay"...why is that..you may want to look into that further, if you are having doubts like that, you need to explore them in greater detail.

Talk to him, get him to talk some actions with his doctor. If he won't, get the vibrator, at least we know that will make him uncomfortable, then maybe he will do something. Sex is a part of marriage...he should be willing and able to accomodate you. I am sure he is embarrassed by this, tell him you understand. Understanding is instrumental in this kind of situation!

Let me know what happens!

Mikayla

[subboy]

Mikayla,

I'm 45, male and in good shape. Better than when I was 25. I think weight might have something to do with it. Perky, how much weight has he gained? How tall is he and how much does he weigh? If you have extra weight, your heart works harder to pump blood to ALL the places including your cock. Plus your cock doesn't get as hard in your 40's as it does in your 20's, no matter what shape you're in. I agree that stress is probably one of the considerations for the low sex drive. Are you having any financial problems? If he feels he isn't doing his part this could cause a low sex drive.

As for thinking he might be gay, why do you say that Perky? Is it because you caught him with a cock in his mouth? I doubt that. He's not in great shape with a muscular tight ass and you wonder about that. Does he get more manicures and pedicures than you? If I thought any woman that wasn't into me was a lesbian then almost the entire population of women would be gay. NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!

Keep us updated Perky. And I'm not trying to cause a fight with you Mikayla, I just think that overweight might have somethign to do with it. If you get mad at me and start a fight, then I would have to assume you're a lesbian too!!

Ok, first of all, his age probably has nothing to do with it, nor his weight gain.  It is more likely that he is stressed and can't relax.  Once a man experiences any type of erectile dysfunction he will continually think about it next time he has sex.  If he is afraid that it will happen again, he will most likely shy away from sex. 

The vibrator idea probably intimidates him, as if you can get off without him. You have to let him know, in the nicest, sweetest way you can't have a marriage without sex. Sex is something that is important to you, and you want it and need it and want him to want and need it too. You have to make him understand that you love him, and want to work things out, but he has to take steps to try and find the problem.  If he is not willing to at least go to the Dr and get his testosterone level checked and his blood flow level checked, then I would question some things. If this man loves you then he would be willing to do everything in his power to help fix this relationship.

You brought up the idea of him possibly being "gay"...why is that..you may want to look into that further, if you are having doubts like that, you need to explore them in greater detail.

Mikalya

Talk to him, get him to talk some actions with his doctor.  If he won't, get the vibrator, at least we know that will make him uncomfortable, then maybe he will do something.  Sex is a part of marriage...he should be willing and able to accomodate you.  I am sure he is embarrassed by this, tell him you understand.  Understanding is instrumental in this kind of situation!

Let me know what happens!

Mikayla

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[12GAUGE]

WOW... ALOT OF TOUGH QUESTIONS- THAT MIKAYLA SOUNDS TO ME LIKE ONE SHARP COOKIE-SMART,COMPASSIONATE,UNDERSTANDING...THIS SITE HAS A REAL NICE SELECTION OF VIBES AND NON VIBE TOYS. WHEN I HAVE SEX I USE 10 OF MY FAVORITE TOYS. I ONLY HAVE 3 VIBRATORS. ONE IS A 2 DONG MODEL ON THE SMALL SIDE. 3/4'' X 4'' RIBBED AND 1'' X 5''. THE OTHER ONE IS THE CLASSIC HARD PLASTIC 1 1/4''X 8 1/2'' (BLACK) THAT HAS A SLIP ON COCK THAT GOES OVER IT. MOSTLY I USE MR.BLACK W/O THE SLIP ON COCK. HE R E A L L Y GETS MY ASSHOLE TWITCHING...MY FAVORITE TOY IS NOT A VIBRATOR AT ALL. IT LOOKS JUST LIKE A NICE HARD COCK WITH A NICE HANDFULL OF FIRM NUTSACK TO HOLD ONTO. IT HAS 6 1/2'' INSERTABLE INCHES AND I AM SURE YOU WOULD L O V E I T . I BOUGHT MY FIRST SEX TOY SO LONG AGO...BACK WHEN SEX SHOPS WERE REKNOWN FOR BEING ON THE ROUGH SIDE OF TOWN AND ALWAYS SEEDY.(<::>*) THIS IS NOT MEANT AS ADVICE FOR PERKYNIPS JUST MY PERSONAL PREFERENCES BY THE WAY SUBBOY...WANNA BE MY TOP???AWANNA SWITCH??? WANNA 69??? peace 12GAUGE

[Scout]

I agree with Mikayla...first of all, Perky, his age has nothing to do with it - unless that's in his head! My lover is 60...and takes boatloads of meds due to heart problems and multiple heart attacks and by-pass surgeries. And yes, he's had erectile malfunctions - twice I think, in over 4 years...the rest of the time, shall we say he was right on the spot - good, solid and hard as anyone would ever hope for!

Weight shouldn't be an issue - unless he's gained enough to be 400lbs or more...

But, like I said, I'm agreeing with Mikayla here - sounds like a stress issue to me...and also sounds like the two of you aren't doing enough talking.

When we're dating, sex is the ONLY thing on our minds...and then after marriage, "life" happens, "kids" happen, "stress" happens...and sex takes a back seat.

Will he agree to making a date with you at the local motel? Get out of the house, away from stresses - Heck! Take the day off work - ...if you have kids - get a babysitter- and maybe drive to the next town - and take a motel there...

If he refuses to do that, then you've got some really serious issues to discuss - and with a therapist...and he needs to know clearly that you love him, but that this situation is unacceptable, and that you want to talk to someone who can help you...

Good luck...

Scout

PS - 12 Gauge - unless you are intending to YELL at everyone, would you mind posting in lower case???

[rjbillings]

Dear P.N. I am not a doctor, nor did I play one on tv. But I do understand more about your problem than most of the other (posters) I too have gone thru changes that you speak of. Weight gain, lack of interest in intercourse. I am convinced "now" that all of this happened because of an incredible amount of stress applied to me at my "job" or career if that is what you want to call it. I felt like the world was against me at work and just two months later, I layed in an "emergency room" at the hospital with a 'heart-attack' My life has gone downhill from there. BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!!!! have your guys "blood-sugar" tested, it sounds like he is a good condidate for "type 2 diabetes" this is nothing to screw around with, don't wait. I should have done something sooner myself, but as we all know, us guys are "bulletproof,indestructible,etc"