Ideas On Being On Multiple Dating Sites

[kohr349]

I have been seeing someone for about a year. We see each other once or twice a week. He works for the railroad, and is gone a lot. Just recently I stumbled on his profile on more than one dating site and it said he was active, visited them with in the last week.

He got upset when I asked him abou them. Said he didn't know about them, but they have the picture I took of him on our first date on them. All the profiles are pretty much the same, one or two things different, mainly things like drinking habits.

He said if I read the fine print I would see that you give the sites premission to put your profile on related sites without further permission needed, but I did not find that anywhere.

Need some feed back on this as I was married for 32 yrs, and never really dated much before that. This is new and I feel like I have been played a fool

[Tyger]

I've never seen these dating sites, but I would assume, being a member on more than one message board, that, when he has been shown to have been logged in, that, indeed, he logged into that site himself. Kind of like here, or MySpace, there is a time stamp that shows when you last logged in, and that, each site has a screen name and password login area. If the basic info is the same, BUT there IS some differences, it sounds like he has, in fact, been on them. Again, let me stress that I have NOT been on them, but, the info I have given are from other message boards.

I would trust your "gut instinct". If it's screaming that he's going on them, and that he's lying to you, then I would trust that.

Best wishes!

[Amylynn920]

In my experience with message boards, it's impossible to NOT have been on them when your log in is showing you have been. If it says he is active then someone with his name and log in info has been there.

And multiple boards do not "share" information. Why would they? It would make no sense to feed info from one board to another, let alone privacy laws.

Sadly yeah, he's visiting other boards still, apparently he's not ready to commit.

[pappyld04]

Sounds like your grandpa knew a thing or three iha!

[nosleepnmesa]

I agree with Tyger here. Go with your "gut " feeling. I have never been on any site like that but I am sure they have when you logged in last like here. Sounds like you all should sit down and talk some more and get to the bottom of it. I myself would go with my gut feeling.

[Desires08]

I agree with everyone else. Trust your gut. Don't accuse until you have evidence Have you actually gotten on the websites that he has been to and seen anything that he has been doing or found anyone he has been talking to? Most sights have a last login date or a posting date. Try looking for those. There is also a history in your computer of web pages visited. I don't know what kind of commitment the two of you have but with all do respect, you said you

stumbled across his profile on a couple of different dating websites....

If you're upset about him being on there what exactly caused you to go there in the first place? Was it because of your suspicions, to check up on him, or simple curiousity? Also, if it says on the web page that he had been there within the last week, then he has. These people aren't going to go through the profiles and say hey let's say this guy logged on just for the hell of it. As far as the being married for 32 years. If you've recently divorced after that long...don't push to fall in love with someone or try to find the familiar feeling your obviously once happy marriage offered you. WOW.32 years is a very long time to be married. I admire you for that because I know it isn't easy. Don't take crap off of one guy when there are lots who would love you and love being with you. My husband has had affairs before and so I know how it hurts and how crazy it can make you. What I am trying to say is this: You decide on what you want. What you are willing to tolerate. And How far you are willing to go. But DON'T think that because you were with someone for 32 years that no one else out there is capable of making you happy or loving you. You only live once. Try what makes you happy. Once I read a book by Sir Francis Bacon. I've always remembered this comment. "The Secret to happiness in love is not finding the perfect man for one does not exsist. The secret is in finding one whose faults you can tolerate and loving him without end" Good luck with this. PM me if you'd like to talk.

[pappyld04]

desires08, that is one of the best quotes I've seen. freeatlast, this man is obviously blowing smoke up your ass. His last login is just that and none of these sights that I know of moves a profile to another site.

[jennycherie]

"The Secret to happiness in love is not finding the perfect man for one does not exsist. The secret is in finding one whose faults you can tolerate and loving him without end"

I love that quote! Thanks for sharing it!

[Desires08]

I love that quote! Thanks for sharing it!

Thanks. I like yours too

[kohr349]

I have been seeing someone for about a year. We see each other once or twice a week. He works for the railroad, and is gone a lot. Just recently I stumbled on his profile on more than one dating site and it said he was active, visited them with in the last week.

He got upset when I asked him abou them. Said he didn't know about them, but they have the picture I took of him on our first date on them. All the profiles are pretty much the same, one or two things different, mainly things like drinking habits.

He said if I read the fine print I would see that you give the sites premission to put your profile on related sites without further permission needed, but I did not find that anywhere.

Need some feed back on this as I was married for 32 yrs, and never really dated much before that. This is new and I feel like I have been played a fool

well you all were right, i was contacted by someone from the website that he had been seeing since september, she was his "weekend" girl. seems he had at least two of us fooled. well he loses on two counts, thanks for the support

[Desires08]

well you all were right, i was contacted by someone from the website that he had been seeing since september, she was his "weekend" girl. seems he had at least two of us fooled. well he loses on two counts, thanks for the support

I am so sorry. If you need or want to talk, feel free to PM me. Lots of other members and moderators on the site are great to talk to as well. I'll be thinking about ya.

[kohr349]

Thank you, I know I have blame in this as I didn't look deep enough and being unfamiliar and very trusting and believing in inocient before guilt i fell for the lines, seems I was his Tuesday and Nascar girl, another had him on Friday or Saturday, sometimes Sunday so he could have many more out there. A lesson learned, not to be bitter, and no I haven't cried yet and know I will the stories I wrote were about him, but life goes on and we search for someone else to share with.

Thanks I will keep you in mind.

and thank you all for your input and support. I was married for 32 yrs so this is new terrritory for me. But I am a quick and good learner so I will survive

I am so sorry. If you need or want to talk, feel free to PM me. Lots of other members and moderators on the site are great to talk to as well. I'll be thinking about ya.

[Tyger]

I am sorry this has happened to you.

What the "newer" dating rules are, from what I gathered a while ago, that, unless it's SPECIFICALLY stated that you're exclusive with only each other, either party is free to go and do other stuff with other people. I was always open and honest. I told the guys I was dating that I was looking for fun, but not wanting to be exclusive. Being upfront and honest is best, though, again, for most men, unless you specifically "nail them down" per say, they aren't going to think that you're exclusive.

Women tend to associate love/commitment with sex. This is rarely the case in the dating world.

Don't be shy next time, just ask. And, if you catch a guy in a lie, with proof, call him on it. Some men think that women are totally stupid, and, let's face it, we CAN be a bit too trusting. So, if you catch a guy in a lie, call him on it, and make sure that he knows that is NOT a smart thing for HIM to try and pull. There's NOTHING wrong with protecting yourself and your feelings. Always trust your gut! 9.99999 times out of 10, it's right!!!

Best wishes!!

[Desires08]

Freeatlast, you will survive. And after 32 years hey, you deserve a break and a fresh breath of air. Right? I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you were expecting or hoping for it too. But you're right, YOU ARE STRONG! Now, if you're ready to move on...Move on. There is no rule carved in stone that says you have to cry, though if you do, it's not the worst thing in the world either. When you feel better you should check out some more posts in some of the other great forums here. We have lots of exciting things that are sure to get your mind where it belongs. On sex! lol. Seriously, don't be shy. If you want to talk more about this, we can. and if you want, we will. There are many posts on here I am sure you would love. It doesn't matter what age you are. We are all people, who have loved, been loved, wanna be loved again, and wanna know how to get there. This site and the people here are with you always. Hang in there.

[kohr349]

I am sorry this has happened to you.

What the "newer" dating rules are, from what I gathered a while ago, that, unless it's SPECIFICALLY stated that you're exclusive with only each other, either party is free to go and do other stuff with other people. I was always open and honest. I told the guys I was dating that I was looking for fun, but not wanting to be exclusive. Being upfront and honest is best, though, again, for most men, unless you specifically "nail them down" per say, they aren't going to think that you're exclusive.

Women tend to associate love/commitment with sex. This is rarely the case in the dating world.

Don't be shy next time, just ask. And, if you catch a guy in a lie, with proof, call him on it. Some men think that women are totally stupid, and, let's face it, we CAN be a bit too trusting. So, if you catch a guy in a lie, call him on it, and make sure that he knows that is NOT a smart thing for HIM to try and pull. There's NOTHING wrong with protecting yourself and your feelings. Always trust your gut! 9.99999 times out of 10, it's right!!!

Best wishes!!

Well i did ask several times in many different ways but he side stepped which is what really got me looking so we live and learn.

[Tyger]

See, that's one thing that irritates me! Why can't people be HONEST when they're dating?? If you don't want to be exclusive, and are asked if you are a couple, just tell them that you don't want to settle down with anyone, or be exclusive, but want to be free to explore what's out there. Yes, it may sting a bit, but better a little sting now, then a burn later cuz you let someone on!

Maybe I'm too upfront, but, when I was dating, I made it VERY clear that I WASN'T looking for anything exclusive, just wanted to date around. No harm, no foul.

OK, sorry, I had to blow up for a second. If a man or woman side-steps the issue of "coupledom" then, it's safe to assume they DON'T consider y'all a couple.