Desires08

I too am so glad to be back! Been awhile but I have really missed all the great discussions and topics!

ROFL! PRICELESS!

When you got a winner let me know lol!

1. Self-Confidence 2. Attitude 3. Personality 4. Presentation 5. Gracefulness in the way she carries herself 6. A soft, flowing gentle voice

So here is what I would do. Since he seems to enjoy teasing you but not actually participating in the pleasing...I would say the playground is closed if you catch my drift. Tease him. Get him hard. And back off. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, he would be more willing to give if he felt it were harder to get. So in a word, play hard to get lol....okay a couple of words. Whatever you do, don't let this take a toll on your self esteem. As hard as it may be, act like you don't want it. Try not to talk about it. Totally avoid it. If after that you see you're not getting any reaction then I would definately be concerned. Another thing I was thinking about is this. While the two of you were apart, how were things? Did you have any jealousies, disagreements, etc...that could have contributed to the situation. I wouldn't say it was one thing. It could have been a couple of little things. Wish I could give you some magic words to make it better but the only thing I have to offer you is time....because only time will tell the tale. However, if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me or post as you have done here. I'm always glad to listen.

Good point about sex not being the main ingredient in a relationship. It's refreshing to hear someone say that. (If you knew my life you would totally understand lol). He lives in Europe so I doubt that he has any of the customs that I mentioned to deal with. I do agree with Tyger in that you should just come out and ask him because you need really really great communication skills in a long distance relationship. Did you not have sex at all when you were there? or was it simply not as much as you had expected? I wouldn't jump to conclusions on the affair thing. That's always our first thought when someone refuses sex. I know how you feel about putting the issue to rest and feeling some peace with the situation. Is there any other info you can think of or any unusual behaviors that you saw?

Without knowing the country of his orgin it's really hard to say. There is the possiblility that his country is one who believes in no sex prior to marriage. (Some countries still stone people to death for that as well as behead them). Maybe when he comes here, he feels at ease and doesn't have to worry about those things. Like I said it's hard to say for sure. As for you feeling unattractive and unappealing, honey, I promise you, I know EXACTLY how you feel. All I can tell you there is that if he was getting erections, it was because you were giving it to him. Does he still live with his parents by any chance? That could be a reason as well. It's hard to unleash the beast with mom, dad, grandma, and/or grandma around. Ask yourself this one question though. I am concerned because you show some signs of discontentment over the three month separation that seems to be ongoing. Is there ever gonna come a day when those separations will be permanently over? If so, how much are you willing to sacrafice between now and then as far as your own personal needs, wants and desires go? And if not, then I suggest you think seriously about finding someone or something that could better meet your needs.

Bongos, I can tell you that as women get older (all the ones I know anyhow) their desires for sex decrease. In the town I live in, you hear women all the time saying "Yeah I remember what it was like to be young and in love and always wanna do it but (and there is ALWYAYS that but) I am older now and don't do that stuff anymore.They tell me all the time they just don't have the same level of sexual desire as they once did. It's not saying that ALL women don't have sex around the age of sixty, but you have to consider her health, her level of energy, her mobility, her horomonal balance the reaction factor of any medications that she may be on, etc .... On the other hand I remember talking once with another 58 year old woman (or possibly 59 I think) anyhow, she told me that her husband(who was age 64) woke her up for sex. She said, I just threw my legs up in the air an let him have it. My point is (I see and talk to people of this age on a daily basis pretty much) and I can tell you that for some ladies, as they get older, their bodies change. Intstead of going into puberty and being horny all the time, they grow out of it and simply don't want it the way they once did. In the old days, it was referred to as "THE CHANGE"...(BTW To this day I cannot stand to hear anyone say, she's going through THE CHANGE) Now, as for the blow job....I totally agree with Mikayla and IHA. Totally. And if you are angry with her now for not doing it, then I have to wonder why because it's been this way forever. If you love her and you have had 32 wonderful years of marriage, then I would say, don't let this ruin it or cause another second of arguing. After all, do any of us really know how long we'll be in this life? You stated you love eachother very much. Perhaps there is something else you could do or try together. Try not to take it so personal either as far as her attitude. All women go through this...well let me rephrase that, most if not all.Good luck. Oh and you know men too go through this eventually..

My suggestion would be for you to control the level penetration as well as the speed of it. Take it slow and easy. I would definately recommend some type of lube as well.

I used to be that way with my first husband and one night I wanted to orgasm really bad. I felt the urge and the need as well as the longing too lol. Anyhow, I guess I reached a place where I said to hell with it and I started stimulating my clit. When I orgasmed, I thought to myself (I'll never forget it) that he was gonna think I was a freak (which I am in the bedroom lol NOW back then I wasn't too much in the beginning). But let me tell you, he loved it. and so much that he wouldn't stop until I did orgasm every time we had sexafter that. So I know how you feel. My dad was a southern baptist preacher so I was very timid about sex for a long, long time. I always thought that it was wrong to enjoy having sex....then one day like I said, I just cut loose. You have already recieved some great advice but I just wanted ya to know that you're not alone. And IHA is right. With age comes wisdom so to speak. You'll know when you're ready to cut loose and have some fun for yourself. Take care and best wishes!

I taste like a snozzberry lol! I got 12 out of 20 too lol. Those take 5 and chunkies killed me. I was surprised. I thought I'd get a lot more since I'm a chocolate lover lol. Cute quiz.

We once did the crazy couch on a futon. I found the sensation in my vagina good but I felt my back straining. IMO you need some upper body strength to bend back like that. I eventually had all I could take of it and threw him on his back.lol. He loved that position though because he liked to do it alot. We changed it little bit or customized it should I say. We've also done the head drop. That one I liked. But I'm with you. Porn stars get paid lots of money to endure the pain. I have to wonder how good their medical coverage is. We used to play a game where we would watch a porn and imitate everything they were doing. We had some fun doing that and learned some things we liked while some were better left alone. Overall, I'd have to say that Mrs. Writer has written yet another GREAT article!

I'm learning some new things and let me say you guys have some great advice too! I appreciate everyone taking the time to answer!

That is so sweet. I wish the both of you years and years of more happiness.

James And Di, Hello and welcome to Too Timid! I'm sure you will love the place and hey, I know you guys have plenty to contribute after a whopping 35 years! Congratualtions on that! We all look forward to reading your posts, as well as learning and sharing.