Desires08

I too am so glad to be back! Been awhile but I have really missed all the great discussions and topics!

ROFL! PRICELESS!

When you got a winner let me know lol!

1. Self-Confidence 2. Attitude 3. Personality 4. Presentation 5. Gracefulness in the way she carries herself 6. A soft, flowing gentle voice

So here is what I would do. Since he seems to enjoy teasing you but not actually participating in the pleasing...I would say the playground is closed if you catch my drift. Tease him. Get him hard. And back off. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, he would be more willing to give if he felt it were harder to get. So in a word, play hard to get lol....okay a couple of words. Whatever you do, don't let this take a toll on your self esteem. As hard as it may be, act like you don't want it. Try not to talk about it. Totally avoid it. If after that you see you're not getting any reaction then I would definately be concerned. Another thing I was thinking about is this. While the two of you were apart, how were things? Did you have any jealousies, disagreements, etc...that could have contributed to the situation. I wouldn't say it was one thing. It could have been a couple of little things. Wish I could give you some magic words to make it better but the only thing I have to offer you is time....because only time will tell the tale. However, if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me or post as you have done here. I'm always glad to listen.

Good point about sex not being the main ingredient in a relationship. It's refreshing to hear someone say that. (If you knew my life you would totally understand lol). He lives in Europe so I doubt that he has any of the customs that I mentioned to deal with. I do agree with Tyger in that you should just come out and ask him because you need really really great communication skills in a long distance relationship. Did you not have sex at all when you were there? or was it simply not as much as you had expected? I wouldn't jump to conclusions on the affair thing. That's always our first thought when someone refuses sex. I know how you feel about putting the issue to rest and feeling some peace with the situation. Is there any other info you can think of or any unusual behaviors that you saw?

Without knowing the country of his orgin it's really hard to say. There is the possiblility that his country is one who believes in no sex prior to marriage. (Some countries still stone people to death for that as well as behead them). Maybe when he comes here, he feels at ease and doesn't have to worry about those things. Like I said it's hard to say for sure. As for you feeling unattractive and unappealing, honey, I promise you, I know EXACTLY how you feel. All I can tell you there is that if he was getting erections, it was because you were giving it to him. Does he still live with his parents by any chance? That could be a reason as well. It's hard to unleash the beast with mom, dad, grandma, and/or grandma around. Ask yourself this one question though. I am concerned because you show some signs of discontentment over the three month separation that seems to be ongoing. Is there ever gonna come a day when those separations will be permanently over? If so, how much are you willing to sacrafice between now and then as far as your own personal needs, wants and desires go? And if not, then I suggest you think seriously about finding someone or something that could better meet your needs.

Bongos, I can tell you that as women get older (all the ones I know anyhow) their desires for sex decrease. In the town I live in, you hear women all the time saying "Yeah I remember what it was like to be young and in love and always wanna do it but (and there is ALWYAYS that but) I am older now and don't do that stuff anymore.They tell me all the time they just don't have the same level of sexual desire as they once did. It's not saying that ALL women don't have sex around the age of sixty, but you have to consider her health, her level of energy, her mobility, her horomonal balance the reaction factor of any medications that she may be on, etc .... On the other hand I remember talking once with another 58 year old woman (or possibly 59 I think) anyhow, she told me that her husband(who was age 64) woke her up for sex. She said, I just threw my legs up in the air an let him have it. My point is (I see and talk to people of this age on a daily basis pretty much) and I can tell you that for some ladies, as they get older, their bodies change. Intstead of going into puberty and being horny all the time, they grow out of it and simply don't want it the way they once did. In the old days, it was referred to as "THE CHANGE"...(BTW To this day I cannot stand to hear anyone say, she's going through THE CHANGE) Now, as for the blow job....I totally agree with Mikayla and IHA. Totally. And if you are angry with her now for not doing it, then I have to wonder why because it's been this way forever. If you love her and you have had 32 wonderful years of marriage, then I would say, don't let this ruin it or cause another second of arguing. After all, do any of us really know how long we'll be in this life? You stated you love eachother very much. Perhaps there is something else you could do or try together. Try not to take it so personal either as far as her attitude. All women go through this...well let me rephrase that, most if not all.Good luck. Oh and you know men too go through this eventually..

My suggestion would be for you to control the level penetration as well as the speed of it. Take it slow and easy. I would definately recommend some type of lube as well.

I used to be that way with my first husband and one night I wanted to orgasm really bad. I felt the urge and the need as well as the longing too lol. Anyhow, I guess I reached a place where I said to hell with it and I started stimulating my clit. When I orgasmed, I thought to myself (I'll never forget it) that he was gonna think I was a freak (which I am in the bedroom lol NOW back then I wasn't too much in the beginning). But let me tell you, he loved it. and so much that he wouldn't stop until I did orgasm every time we had sexafter that. So I know how you feel. My dad was a southern baptist preacher so I was very timid about sex for a long, long time. I always thought that it was wrong to enjoy having sex....then one day like I said, I just cut loose. You have already recieved some great advice but I just wanted ya to know that you're not alone. And IHA is right. With age comes wisdom so to speak. You'll know when you're ready to cut loose and have some fun for yourself. Take care and best wishes!

I taste like a snozzberry lol! I got 12 out of 20 too lol. Those take 5 and chunkies killed me. I was surprised. I thought I'd get a lot more since I'm a chocolate lover lol. Cute quiz.

We once did the crazy couch on a futon. I found the sensation in my vagina good but I felt my back straining. IMO you need some upper body strength to bend back like that. I eventually had all I could take of it and threw him on his back.lol. He loved that position though because he liked to do it alot. We changed it little bit or customized it should I say. We've also done the head drop. That one I liked. But I'm with you. Porn stars get paid lots of money to endure the pain. I have to wonder how good their medical coverage is. We used to play a game where we would watch a porn and imitate everything they were doing. We had some fun doing that and learned some things we liked while some were better left alone. Overall, I'd have to say that Mrs. Writer has written yet another GREAT article!

I'm learning some new things and let me say you guys have some great advice too! I appreciate everyone taking the time to answer!

That is so sweet. I wish the both of you years and years of more happiness.

James And Di, Hello and welcome to Too Timid! I'm sure you will love the place and hey, I know you guys have plenty to contribute after a whopping 35 years! Congratualtions on that! We all look forward to reading your posts, as well as learning and sharing.

I thought it would be nice if we all got to know something about eachohter since we all seem to enjoy one another so much . So here are the questions. Copy and paste and fill in your own answers. Even add a question if you like. 1. What drives you buck wild in the bedroom? Answer: When my hubby takes his time during the foreplay doing everything possible to make me beg him to put it in. Or Vise versa. I love to do the same to him. 2. What totally turns you off in the bedroom? Answer: When I feel rushed to climax or when I want him to touch me a certian way or do things a certian way and all he wants is to get a nut. Hey, it happens to the best of us. 3. What is your favorite type of sexual experience? (ex straight, doggie, oral, bondage, etc...) Answer: For me, I love sex any style most of the time but my favs would have to be 69, doggie style, and definatlely being on top. 4. What makes you hard (Men) or wet (Ladies)? Answer: Flirting for one, seeing someone sexy who isn't trying to be sexy, they just are if that makes any sense, and the one thing that really gets me going is when he takes the lead or initiates the sex. I literally drip. 5. What is one tip or idea you'd like to pass on to everyone here? My tip would be this: Make love like it's your very first time, kiss as though you never have before and love your someone special like there is no tomorrow.

You've already recieved some excellent advice but I just wanted to add one or two things to what you've already been told. I would first recommend a book or two that you can check out from your local library. One is called, "Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward" and the other is called "Dare to Connect by Susan Jeffers". You could also take some time to pamper yourself. Revel in things you like such as a hot n steamy bubble bath, getting your hair done, etc...When you stand in the mirror looking at yourself, don't look at the things that bother you. We all have them I assure you. Rather, spend time looking at the things you do like. Buy some teddy's, etc...that flatter your body type. Dream of what the perfect romantic night would be for you and make it happen.

I had a talk with a lawyer and he told me this. This is the conversation. Me: " I guess I attract jerks" Lawyer: "No, most good girls are attracted to jerks. How about giving us nice guys a try for a change?" Point of that is this. NOT ALL MEN ARE JERKS. There are lots and lots of great men in this world and believe it or not, I know many who are faithful. But I also know some who are not. Don't fall into stereotyping. Chances are, what you're feeling, he's feeling too. He is human just like you, only he may hide his feelings easier. And I also wanted to add that it is easy for a man to cheat yes, but hey babe, you got the goods they cheat for right? Don't sell yourself short. My experience is this. When a man feels upset in the relationship he withdraws into his own little world. Fussing and arguing isn't gonna bring him out of the cave. Only love can and will.

Okay. First. You have got to get control of your jealousy. It will consume and destroy everything you have.How do you do that? You start spending time loving yourself. Pamper yourself. Spoil yourself. Everyday, think of one good quality about yourself whether it be mental, physical, emotional, etc.. and flaunt the hec out of it. Now as for once a cheater always a cheater, I do believe that people can and do change....but in reality, sometimes they don't, even when they really really try to. That doesn't mean that he's cheating. It sounds to me that there is possibly some emotional cheating going on and it is taking a toll on your self esteem. A lot of women when they first have kids with a man feel different than before. One reason is that in truth, you are different. You went from being a delicate flower so to speak to a warrior to give life to your daughter and darlin' that is something to be EXTREMELY proud of, not ashamed. Your body has changed. But look at that precious little angel that brought about that change. If he always talked to other women at the bar before then he proabably will continue too. I don't think he's doing it to hurt you if it was something he was doing before. I think you're a little afraid that he isn't gonna like you the same or love you as much since you're body has went through the process of child birth, but again, I think he'll love you more and though it does take some adjusting after having a child, you can still have great sex. Work on doing Kegels. LOTS and LOTS of kegels. As for stretch marks (that was my biggie after my first child) check out some of the avon products. They are clinically proven to work to help reduce those. And in time they will fade. As far as if this will ever end. Yes it will. Either you can make a conscience decision to give 100% and end it now (as far as the jealousy and trust issues go) or eventually it could drive a thick wedge between you forcing a split. Trust me, I know first hand. What you can do to change this on your part is this. Everytime you think that he is cheating on you, I want you to do two things. First, ask yourself why you think this and be brutally honest. This can give indication as to what the cause of the problem is. And Second, when you have these thoughts if he has not given you good reason to think he is cheating, tehn by all means block them out. Replace it with a good thought. A romantic thought. A loving thought. He tells you he loves you all the time. Do his actions match his words? If they do, then darling, stop worrying. Trust him. If they don't then you may consider having a heart to heart talk with him about how you are feeling, what he may be doing to upset you, and work through this TOGETHER. I stress together for one purpose. The two of you are in this relationship together. It's not just you and not just him. My fear after I had my kids was that he wouldn't like my body anymore. I started exercising, walking, running, doing some kegels, and taking care of myself. Now, things are not always perfect, but my point is this. In the end, if he was unfaithful, I knew in my heart I had done everything to keep him satisfied. And it's not all about how you look either. I want to stress that. But my point with the looks is that sometimes, we have low self esteem about our bodies. If that's the case, only we can change that. Right? I would also suggest possibly getting a babysitter and having a romantic night out but not at the bar since that does appear to be a sore spot right now. Babies require lots of attention, time, energy, and devotion. Often we don't realize that and we feel so tired and drained that we put our romance and love lives on the back burner....and we forget about them until we smell that scalding smell, and then we're like, "oh no! I don't feel as close as I did!"....I may be wrong, but I think it's somewhat normal for new first time parents to go through this. Give it some time. Everything is gonna be okay. And I'm proud of you for being so brave to take the first step in seeking help. Sometimes it helps just to get it out and to get some un biased third party advice. Someday, you'll probably be guiding a new mom along the way. As for the porn, I completely and totally understand and I do agree with you. The fact is, Men are very visual and it is normal to look at porn even if they sometimes get way too caught up in it. My suggestion is this. Turn off the television and have a pamper night. Once, I did this. I gave my hubby a long, thorough massage, ran a steamy bubble bath where we tended to one another, and then I gave him a blow job underwater.....lol now I can't suggest you do that but point being, create your own porn. You be the star of the show for a night. Do what you are comfortable doing and most of all, take it slow. We all want things to happen in a snap, but sometimes, the greatest things are those that manifest themselves over time. He loves you. Remember that. Let go of the jealousy (I know it's hard but you can do it!), and take time to enjoy being in love.

For clothes-----NO WAY! For 50,000 Dollars, as long as I could masterbate I could do it. But come that 366th day, I believe I would have one of pappy's 24 hour marathon's....lol

Well, lately, not long enough....but back in the day we would make love for hours until we were both too sore to and when even the thought of doing it again would make you say "ouch!"

Well right now the sun is out, the ground is still saturated, the rivers are still high and we are bracing for one of the biggest Severe Weather Outbreaks of the year. They say we may have some strong long lived Tornadoes, large hail and high winds. I've been running four miles a day up until last week when all the rain came. I'll be glad when things calm down again so I can get back to that.

1. MMF Threesome or maybe MFMF group sex 2. To be tied up and spanked by another female with hubby watching but not touching 3. To have sex in the ocean, on the beach in the sand

You say that you read all the posts in the oral sex so I assume that you know that the foods you eat affect the taste. Also I would reccomend that you have something to drink nearby. Tell her the taste won't last forever. She can brush her teeth afterwards. Still in the same you should be respectful of her and not make her feel pushed into this. (And I am not implying that you are). We want what we want right? IHA had some great advice too. As for you cumming in her mouth I honestly don't think that would be much different than you cumming in her mouth while she gives you a blow job. Also try some flavored lubes or some type of syrup or creme that she likes ( Ex hershey's strawberry or chocolate syrup). That would actually drown out a portion of the taste of the semen when swallowing. But regardless which method you use, I would suggest keeping something to drink nearby. lol Good luck

Hello and welcome to Too Timid! You'll see we have lots of great people here who are honest, concerned and to the point. So point being, jump right in. Make yourself at home and get ready to learn, love, laugh, a lot more. TTYL!