Members swimma Posted November 18, 2005 Members Report Share Posted November 18, 2005 hey, i have been dating a girl for a while now and i recently found out she is bi...i am pretty sure i am fine with this, however she wont really talk to me about it...does anyone have any advice??" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted November 18, 2005 Members Report Share Posted November 18, 2005 Well, first you have to find out if her definition of "Bi" means she has sex with women and men, or she is just attracted to women and men, or she likes to have sex with women and men at the same time...or she has not explored this yet. Find out what she has and has not done. Then find out which one she prefers...if she prefers women, you may want to bow out now...you can't compete with a woman who prefers women. If she prefers men, she may just be experimenting.Now, if she is experimenting, you may want to steer clear of the whole "lets explore it together" thing....that opens up a whole, new ballgame. Although I am sure you find the idea of 2 women together hot as hell, you have to think logisitcs, new girlfriend plus another girl = trouble.I think my first plan of attack would be to find out where he experience level is and go from there.Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members torinasia Posted November 18, 2005 Members Report Share Posted November 18, 2005 hey, i have been dating a girl for a while now and i recently found out she is bi...i am pretty sure i am fine with this, however she wont really talk to me about it...does anyone have any advice??"<{POST_SNAPBACK}>The "wont really talk to me about it" is not acceptable!. Not in a million years. If she does not understand what kind of feelings her behaviour stirs up in you, then she has a problem or is just teasing you.Find that out. And dont take "wont really talk to me about it" as an answer.Tor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members swimma Posted November 21, 2005 Author Members Report Share Posted November 21, 2005 so i talked to her the other night and she has been with girls and guys, hasnt had sex with guys but girls and such have gone down on her but she likes when i do...she hasnt said if girls get her off more than guys and yes, the threesome crossed my mind but i dont think she is into both at the same time...although maybe at some point she could be, but still not sure if i should "bow out"....any more thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted November 22, 2005 Members Report Share Posted November 22, 2005 She HASN'T had sex with guys...meaning you would be the first? I think this girl is sexually confused, hasn't made up her sexual orientation yet, and if you want to deal with all of that, it is your business. She clearly chose to go the woman route first, which doesn't necessarily mean she is a hard-core lesbian, but I would tread lightly on this one if I were you...Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 12GAUGE Posted December 23, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 23, 2005 Swimma: Young people are often confused about their sexual orientation, and often get all wound up with that rather than teaching themselves how to pleasure themselves, and others. They tend to be very shy about sex, too. The same holds true for both heteros and gays. They often, but not always, do not have a clue who they are or what they want in a sexual relationship because they fear the embarrassment of finding out. I have known both men and women who call themselves bi- when they are either gay, or hetero. Its rare to find someone who is really bi-sexual, and when you do, the list of sexual experiences they have not enjoyed with their lovers exceeds the lists of experiences they have had. They often hang out with gays, because they are better accepted in their unconventional view of their own sexuality, gay better than heteros understand that, and are more accepting. Gays know how lonely it can be when you think you are " different" from your family, and others. If she has not experienced sexual intercourse with a man to date, you have to treat her like the virgin she is. Be very gentle, and very patient. Let her control the action, but suggesting she be on top of you and lower herself down on your erection at own pace and speed. Her ego is so fragile right now, she can use this help to feel she is in control of her own sexuality, and not being made to do something she is not sure she wants. If you truly love this woman, and it sounds like you do, then romance her, and make her feel good about being part of " us ". Let her decide when the relationship will go beyond feelies and oral sex. In the meanwhile, become an innovative kisser, and at oral sex. Let her know that you are the best thing in her life, be your behavior, and not your words. If and when she wants to try intercourse, make sure you have talked about birth control, stds etc. Remove all those concerns so that they don't contribute to any anxiety. Having sex the first time is a big enough deal for both of you that you don't need that distraction. If you are going to use condoms, practice putting them on- both of you should- so that it is part of the games you play, and nothing to be concerned about when you make that decision to try intercourse. If she is not yet into vibrators( toys), ask her about that. Often, women can benefit from using toys to learn about their own bodies before sharing themselves with lovers. And toys can contribute to the silliness that is sex, and relax both of you. Have fun, always. THAT HOWARD AND MIKAYLA ARE PRETTY SMART COOKIES. I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH BI/MAYBE BI WOMEN SO I WILL BOW OUT ON THIS ONE...EXCEPT TO SAY WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I HAD SOME ISSUES W/MY SEXUALITY AND I FOUND ACCEPTANCE WITH GAYS. IT WASN'T THE KIND OF SUBJECT YOU CAN TALK ABOUT W/YOUR BUDDIES IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN... peace 12GAUGE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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