My Ex

[goinginsaneagain]

I love my husband but I have never been in love with him. You would think that after ten years, I would. I am still in love with my ex-fiance' and he still loves me. We are best friends and when I am having sex with my husband, my ex and best friend is all I can see.

I think i am insane and just wondered if anyone else has ever thought about ex lovers.

[crazy1]

Yes Going, I do think about former "lovers" or I should say one in paticular. We never made love or even really dated(believe me I know how pathetic this sounds)but she was the younger sister to one of my close friends and a very beautiful and sexy girl. I was had just turned 17 and she was a couple of years younger. We met at her older sisters(my friend) birthday party. We hit it off and while the majority of the party were involved in games and socailizing, we spent alot of the night just talking and flirting and ended up cuddling on the floor and falling asleep in the middle of the floor. Honestly that is where most people fell asleep that night, it must have looked like the biggest clothed orgy in history as there were about 50 or so of us all pilled on one another in the floor. However, this girl and I were off to the side from everyone and we slept the night curled up together. The next day we said our goodbyes and shared one kiss. That was the kiss that until my marriage all others were judged and found lacking. Shortly after this, I said somethings that I had no call to say and lost her as a potential romance for the rest of my life. I still see her from time to time, she looks amazing and is still a sweet and wonderful person. I don't ever fantasize about her, but I do wonder what might have been. Do I regret my actions, yes, but I honestly don't feel as though It would have altered my life very drastically. I am with the woman I love and that is all that matters to me now.

Going, do you have kids? Why did you marry the man you are with if you knew you loved someone else?

[Mikayla1]

I think it is natural for people to think about their exs. I do, even the ones I clearly knew were bad news. The one lover I had was TOTALLY and asshole, but we had some hot, kinky, sex. In fact, he was probably the reason why I am so into BDSM now....but I digress. Anyway, sometimes even though I DO love my HB, I do think about some of the hot sex we had. It was different and on a different level than any sex I have ever had with anyone else. We had a strange connection, and he just could push my buttons and get me off in no time flat. You don't forget people like that....ever.....even if you fall out of love with them.

In your case, I too am wondering why did you marry someone when you loved someone else? What it like a "My Best Friend's Wedding" type situation? Those can be hard. You will have to face the facts that you don't love your HB, and figure out what to do about it. It isn't fair to him!

I don't envy your situation!

good Luck.

Mikayla

[crazy1]

Even if someone else came along that could do just as well as my wife, I would always keep her as the standard of sexuallity for me. I know there are women who could surpass her with sexual prowess, but, like Mikayla said, someone you connect with like this, you just don't forget.

[torinasia]

I love my husband but I have never been in love with him. You would think that after ten years, I would. I am still in love with my ex-fiance' and he still loves me. We are best friends and when I am having sex with my husband, my ex and best friend is all I can see.

I think i am insane and just wondered if anyone else has ever thought about ex lovers.

Hello

I always do wonder about feelings llike that. Isn´t it very much of "The grass is always greener on the other side"?

Of course there are people that can start a fire in you in no time at all and, as said here, could push the right buttons. And of course you will always have memories of great sex. But your ex will also have a lot of Monday mornings, headaches and bad days and so on.

So I think that the "perfect ex" is often something you make up, a fantazy you need at certain times.

Nothing wrong with that, as long as it doesn´t take to much energy of the everyday life.

But on the other hand, if your ex is ALWAYS in your mind while making love with your hb, maybe it is not your ex that was so fantastic but more that your present relation is lacking something. Could be tough to find that out, but maybe you have to do it

Tor

[Dawn K]

Back in my first marriage (which was a huge mistake), I would frequently fantasize about an ex-lover and ex-friend (I had alienated her when I got married). She was someone I truly loved and shared many hot times with...even now, as much as I love my husband, sometimes I let my thoughts wander.

[Please]

I'm new here. But I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I think about my x during sex. Sometime I wish he was in the room giving my husband instructions!! It was the best oral I ever had. And I do think of him when my toys come out and I'm alone. Am I bad or normal? HELP

[Mikayla1]

You are COMPLETELY normal, and not at all bad. We all have experiences in life that we retain in our memory banks. We can't help but remember things in our life that were good, fun or exciting. No one ever says were are wrong for remembering our favorite vacation, or the best meal we ever had. So, why should it be wrong for us to remember the best sex we have had? I think that when we want to really excite ourselves we pull out what we know in our subconscious will do that - and unfortunately - that is not always what our current lover has done for us.

Also, we go with different people for different reasons and we leave people for different reasons. My ex was an ASS, but he was a good lover - my hb is a wonderful man, and for the most part a wonderful lover - but occassionally, I do recall experiences from my past that were enjoyable with him and fantasize about them. It is normal and there is nothing wrong wtih it!

Mikayla

[hrnychick]

I'm new here. But I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I think about my x during sex. Sometime I wish he was in the room giving my husband instructions!! It was the best oral I ever had. And I do think of him when my toys come out and I'm alone. Am I bad or normal? HELP

MsKarin well my point of view is that youre normal......why is that if a girl thinks of others ora X its wrong???? now the person that started this topis i have to say as well as others have if you dont love your hubby then why are you together??? May i ask is it you do love him but just on that level that you feel for the other man you know your X....There are many diff levels of love and maybe some talking with your man or some counseling will help you realiize you should stay and you may find the answers to the feelings you feel or go and be with the one you say you really love and be happy.......but that is something a counseler will help you with....anyway Mskarin in your way of saying i took it as you love the man youre with but just wish he had something of that of your x in this case you said u wished he was there to instruct your hubby in the bedroom.....now you should talk with your hubby about what you both enjoy and what really pleasures you both and im sure if you have a nice talk and basically tell him where he needs to improve to make the sex even better he will change in no time....CAIUSE WHO DOESNT WANT GREAT SEX.....get to the point of what you need and want but put it to him in a nice way......now as for the part of you thinking of yourX when you pull out your toys.....im sure once you and hubby get on the same page of what pleasure and how to do it,,,,,you will be thinking of him when those toys are in play.....and really if not its still not bad your with your toy so it could be anyone u want doesnt have to be your man......its for your pleasure.......tell me girls and you know its true we have all at some time or another while fucking with our man have maybe thought of a hot movie star or someone seen on tv or whomever.....just a part of life and as long as it doesnt causees problems and is kept to yourself in your own mind for your own pleasure no one gets hurt and you cum fucking damn hard......lol.....WHAT DO YOU THINK GUYS THINK OF......SOME DO THINK OF THE ONE THEY R WITH BUT CMON IM SURE MORE THINK OF PORN STARS OR PAM ANDERSON OR MAYBE A XGF....IF THEY DONT TELL ITS ALL GOOD WE ARE THE ONES THEY ARE FUCKING

A HAPPY ENDING FOR BOTH

I'm new here. But I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I think about my x during sex. Sometime I wish he was in the room giving my husband instructions!! It was the best oral I ever had. And I do think of him when my toys come out and I'm alone. Am I bad or normal? HELP

MsKarin well my point of view is that youre normal......why is that if a girl thinks of others ora X its wrong???? now the person that started this topis i have to say as well as others have if you dont love your hubby then why are you together??? May i ask is it you do love him but just on that level that you feel for the other man you know your X....There are many diff levels of love and maybe some talking with your man or some counseling will help you realiize you should stay and you may find the answers to the feelings you feel or go and be with the one you say you really love and be happy.......but that is something a counseler will help you with....anyway Mskarin in your way of saying i took it as you love the man youre with but just wish he had something of that of your x in this case you said u wished he was there to instruct your hubby in the bedroom.....now you should talk with your hubby about what you both enjoy and what really pleasures you both and im sure if you have a nice talk and basically tell him where he needs to improve to make the sex even better he will change in no time....CAIUSE WHO DOESNT WANT GREAT SEX.....get to the point of what you need and want but put it to him in a nice way......now as for the part of you thinking of yourX when you pull out your toys.....im sure once you and hubby get on the same page of what pleasure and how to do it,,,,,you will be thinking of him when those toys are in play.....and really if not its still not bad your with your toy so it could be anyone u want doesnt have to be your man......its for your pleasure.......tell me girls and you know its true we have all at some time or another while fucking with our man have maybe thought of a hot movie star or someone seen on tv or whomever.....just a part of life and as long as it doesnt causees problems and is kept to yourself in your own mind for your own pleasure no one gets hurt and you cum fucking damn hard......lol.....WHAT DO YOU THINK GUYS THINK OF......SOME DO THINK OF THE ONE THEY R WITH BUT CMON IM SURE MORE THINK OF PORN STARS OR PAM ANDERSON OR MAYBE A XGF....IF THEY DONT TELL ITS ALL GOOD WE ARE THE ONES THEY ARE FUCKING

A HAPPY ENDING FOR BOTH

[Please]

thanks for your reply to my somewhat problem. no my problem. I didn't expand on it but now i will. hubby dosen't lie to give oral sex. Recieve. of course what man dosen't. I have talked to him many times about it.MANY I even went as far as telling him what i like giving him details on how to etc.. Used flavors etc to make it better hell I give up and I am a clean person so that not why. he says he just dosen't like it.

My x and myself have a 22yr old son together and we just got in contact with each other after 20 years cause of medical reasons. He had a pacemaker put in at the age of 40. We have JUST TALKED and e-mailed. Hes unhapply married but is going to counseling. Yes I think we should go talk to someone if he will do it. thanks for listening K

[Mikayla1]

Is oral sex - or lack of - the only problem in your sex life, or marriage in general? Are things heating up with your ex, or are you just fondly remembering oral sex with your ex because your current won't do it now? Listen, you don't keep giving him oral if he won;t do it to you - PERIOD! There is no reason why men should keep getting their cocks sucked while we women get nothing in return - it is just self-centered bullshit! I am sorry! IF he is not willing to do it to you, no matte how you persist, then go on cock-sucking strike! I know, people will say "that won;t help things" but hey, how will her doing it make things better?

While you are not giving him oral - you have to get to the roots of your real problems. What else is going on? Did he ever give you oral? Is this a new development? What made you fall in love in the first place? Figure these things out before you do anything rash. Maybe the love with you and your ex is still there - maybe it is just lust - this is serious, but you need to think it through!

Mikayla

[Kinkallday]

My ex and I are close to extent of I enjoy watching her have sex with other guys.I wanted to so bad while married but never could because the love I had was to good to chance losing.But now I get what I wanted for to long.