Pappy's About To Slip Back Into Dickhead Mode

[pappyld04]

As difficult as it is at times I have tried not to reside in my former personality. When I came out of the military I was one of the biggest assholes you could ever meet. It took a lot of work to get to where I am presently. The PTSD thing makes it real easy to push that button but I try not to go there. I ENJOY MY PRESENT STATE! Several months back I loaned out a tow trailer to a friends kid to get his car home. He, in turn, recruited another friend of mine to pull it and somehow they jackknifed the trailer and SNAPPED the thing in half. I waited 3 days before I sent my gf to this kids mom and dad's (also former friends before this) to find out why it wasn't back. She told me the problem and I sent the message that he would fix my trailer back the way it was w/o bullshit and then return it to me. 2 months later I had to stop the father in the street and ask why it had not been done yet? He laughed(wrong answer) and tried to blame it on the guy who was pulling it. That guy has been informed and won't be doing favors for this family anymore but it eats my ass when they refuse to take responsibility for their actions. I put in a personal appearance at mom and dads and caught the kid at home and told him that he would be treated like the guy who borrowed $20 from me and thought that he could make appearances at the local bar before he paid it back. Every time I saw him there I issued him a good old fashioned spanking. Even had to issue one to him and 2 of his friends at one point. Now the kid is running in the same circles that I do and he is talking shit. Noone tells me what exactly he is saying but I'm hearing it everywhere. This is a kid that grew up calling me Uncle LD and I had thought that I had given him a path to follow. What is up with these kids? Should it really be up to me to teach this kid the lesson that he knows he doesn't want to learn? Or should I take this out on him and his father?

[vanilla_bean]

This situation sucks and they are being boneheads, but I say take a deep breath and give it some space before you do anything. It seems like one of those times when you just can't win and reacting might do more harm than good.

[Tyger]

I hate hate hate it when people borrow things and destroy it then refuse to pay for it, or replace it. Especially things of value.

If the trailer was worth some $$, get an estimate, and go to small claims court. They borrowed it, and depending on the age of the kid, the father is responsible for it, if the kid is under 18, if he's not, sue the kid.

I would say that before you do that, send a letter of intent, stating that they either need to fix the trailer to your satisfaction, as they promised, in say 10 days, or further legal action will be taken. If you remember the date they borrowed it, put that on there too. Keep a copy for yourself, and hand it to them. If you mail it, they may just say they never got it, and certified, they will see who it's from, and won't pick it up. That way, you can say that you personally handed them this letter on such n such a date, and that you tried to go the legal route as much as possible. Make the letter short, sweet, and to the point. Then, if that doesn't work, there's court.

The last person to take advantage of me like that I am no longer speaking too, since she also screwed over my FIL & MIL as well. I cut off the friendship because I tried several times for her to take up responsibility and she wouldn't do it, and talked shit behind my back. I am the BITCH for trying to get her to do what she promised she would, but she won't say that, she'll just play the victim. I am thankful that I got retribution and that I cut her out of my life and won't let her back in. We don't need users and abusers like that. Let their asses go out and buy their own shit to destroy, IMO.

[vanilla_bean]

Yeah, what Tyger says. I got the impression that you felt like wanting to react in "dickhead mode" which could bite you in the ass.

[pappyld04]

Too late folks. 2 more broken jaws and a hamburger face for sonny boy. I took soony as I was coming out of the C-store then walked down to tell his parents to go take him to the hospital and dad thought he was quick on the draw. NOT! I almost broke his arm just because but out of respect I let that go somewhat! I'm not one to screw around with courts and I dam sure will not tolerate that trash talking. I've been here for a while and I guarantee the cops won't show up. IDK if they called but they won't show until tomorrow if they even consider it worthy!

[ladylove]

Too late folks. 2 more broken jaws and a hamburger face for sonny boy. I took soony as I was coming out of the C-store then walked down to tell his parents to go take him to the hospital and dad thought he was quick on the draw. NOT! I almost broke his arm just because but out of respect I let that go somewhat! I'm not one to screw around with courts and I dam sure will not tolerate that trash talking. I've been here for a while and I guarantee the cops won't show up. IDK if they called but they won't show until tomorrow if they even consider it worthy!

I hope they don't sue you now!!!

[Tyger]

Pappy;

I full understand how you feel but DON'T and I mean DON'T get yourself in any trouble with the law if you haven't already. Take it from someone who knows...it's not worth it, no way, no how. I am one of the most laid back people on earth but I was pushed into letting my emotions (temper) get the best of me in 2003. It was costly, time consuming, and just not worth it, trust me. I never went to jail but there was plenty else that did happen. Somewhere in your area should be a crises line type thing you can call and just vent if nothing else. That is one of the tools I used and it helped...not a lot, but it bought me some time to think with my head instead of emotions. I lost a career through no real fault of my own. It has cost me thousands and thousands of dollars, I HATE, and I mean HATE the people who did this to me . And like you, all because I was a nice guy. I would love nothing more than to give those mother fuckers their just desert just like you but I love my freedom and that wouldn't change what happened. It forever changed the way I view most people and to this day I deal with it, but my friend, my suggestion is to deal with it legally from this point on. The cost benefit factor of the other way is a losing situation. Our occurances were different, but the affect is the same....Temper!

This is some of the best advice I've seen!

[masquedxangel]

I'll be honest here... you waaaay over-reacted. I mean what they did sucks - but they didn't harm you physically. I dunno...I find this a little bit...high school of you, just going out and beating up on some kid who has no training and then his father too.

I hope you don't get in a whole heap of trouble, but I do think you need to get some help for your temper.

[pappyld04]

The kid is fresh out of the pen. His father was not an intended target until he took a swing. The kid got it because his reply to me about fixing his fuck-up was that his boss had not yet called the welder. His mom was on the phone this morning with the welder. I had everyone that owed me money show up yesterday to pay up whether it was due or not. BTW, no cops involved at all!

[pappyld04]

Tango I know you are right about that rage thing. Some could never see that part of it.

[pappyld04]

Pappy;

I full understand how you feel but DON'T and I mean DON'T get yourself in any trouble with the law if you haven't already. Take it from someone who knows...it's not worth it, no way, no how. I am one of the most laid back people on earth but I was pushed into letting my emotions (temper) get the best of me in 2003. It was costly, time consuming, and just not worth it, trust me. I never went to jail but there was plenty else that did happen. Somewhere in your area should be a crises line type thing you can call and just vent if nothing else. That is one of the tools I used and it helped...not a lot, but it bought me some time to think with my head instead of emotions. I lost a career through no real fault of my own. It has cost me thousands and thousands of dollars, I HATE, and I mean HATE the people who did this to me . And like you, all because I was a nice guy. I would love nothing more than to give those mother fuckers their just desert just like you but I love my freedom and that wouldn't change what happened. It forever changed the way I view most people and to this day I deal with it, but my friend, my suggestion is to deal with it legally from this point on. The cost benefit factor of the other way is a losing situation. Our occurances were different, but the affect is the same....Temper!

I know for a fact this is great advice. It just doesn't work too well where I live. And among the points that iha brought up there is also that mentality in my (pre-PTSD) profession. When I broke out there would be people lined up at the cattle guard every night looking for a job. And fights were always the way of settlement. You had many that carried firearms because of the large paychecks. Lots of robberies. Something that this new class of roughneck will hopefully never see.

[whiskeywoman]

Pappy,

I am glad to see that things have hopefully turned around, at least at this point in time in the game.

Sometimes it takes some people a kick in the arse to get it going.

I am sorry to see that it escalated to the level it did.

However, I fully believe that you are in the right, he borrowed the trailor, he snapped it, (which is damned hard to do)

he should be liable for the damages he caused.

All of your requests as to the whereabouts of your property had been blown off or met with indifferance.

Hopefully this young man will think twice when borowing other peoples belongings and showing the owners proper respect.

Especially if they are older and wiser.

[ohshelly]

Hey Pappy, I had a family member do something similar to me recently. I feel your rage at being blown off by people you thought you could trust.

On the up side, people paid up early...........................that gave me a chuckle. Those are the people who you can REALLY count on.

off subject: Thank you for your service to our country. I have 3 kids in the regular army, 2 sons and a daughter. It is not a life for just anybody.

[pappyld04]

Hey Pappy, I had a family member do something similar to me recently. I feel your rage at being blown off by people you thought you could trust.

On the up side, people paid up early...........................that gave me a chuckle. Those are the people who you can REALLY count on.

off subject: Thank you for your service to our country. I have 3 kids in the regular army, 2 sons and a daughter. It is not a life for just anybody.

My trailer was repaired that week and this boys mom was on the phone that Monday with a welder. She has no problem with the whole thing and was laughing about it. Her hubby is deeply regretting taking the swing at me and she apologized for him since he was whiskey buzzed when he did it. She saw this for what it was. IMHO, I gave him more rehab than the 7 years that he was in the pen. Believe what a person wants I am here to tell you that the only thing a person learns in prison is how to cover up their fuck-ups. Now off-topic I appreciate the thank you but it is I that feels the need to thank you for having 3 kids that are serving their country. I don't know too many people in that line that feel they have done anything heroic. It is more of a family tradition and an internal feeling of serving the greater good of this country. This comes from upbringing if you ask me. And for that I feel you should be credited. A lot of people think that they are heroic but it is the ones who do it when they have no reason to that earn my upmost respect. Please pass a heartfelt hug to each of your kids from a veteran who truly respects what they are doing!