Giving Good Head

[whoohoo]

Hello to everyone, yes I am a newbie.

I have never had trouble bringing a man to orgasm when giving head. In fact, I have always seemed to be good at it, if I am to believe the compliments I have received.

I am having trouble bringing my bf to orgasm. It has only happened twice, where I didn't feel exhausted afterwards. With him, I am not in control of things. Normally, with other partners, I could spend lots of time licking, sucking, twirling my tongue around, using my hand a little while sucking on the tip, and have them cumming in no time. With my bf, this is not the case. In fact, just yesterday, I ended up with a busted lip trying to make it happen for him. He would never want to intentionally hurt me, I know.

First of all, let me say that he is not used to getting head. He has only had sex with his previous wife of 18 years, and she would not give head at all, so he is new to all of this. It seems like he is used to getting to an orgasm one way, going at it like there is no tomorrow. He seems to want to thrust vigorously, no matter what we're doing. It gets to become a chore, if all you are doing is bobbing your head up and down for thirty minutes. Then I get tired of doing it in that same position, and when I switch, it takes that much longer to bring him back to the same point that he was before I switched.

Also, I know that we have some kind of problem, because he doesn't stay hard.

I am at a loss, this has never been a problem for me. I want to please him, even if I have to teach him, but with an 18 year old habit, I don't know if this is possible.

I want to enjoy what I am doing, as well.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[Mikayla1]

He seems to want to thrust vigorously, no matter what we're doing. It gets to become a chore, if all you are doing is bobbing your head up and down for thirty minutes. Then I get tired of doing it in that same position, and when I switch, it takes that much longer to bring him back to the same point that he was before I switched.

Also, I know that we have some kind of problem, because he doesn't stay hard.

I am at a loss, this has never been a problem for me. I want to please him, even if I have to teach him, but with an 18 year old habit, I don't know if this is possible.

I want to enjoy what I am doing, as well.

Any advice would be appreciated.

First, WELCOME.

Second, I am glad to hear the positive attitude here. Not giving up, willing to teach, willing to keep at it. Good for you.

This guy is preconditioned to get his orgasms in other ways besides oral sex. It may take him a while to get used to the idea or the feeling of oral sex. Let me ask you, does he like the feeling of it while you do it, does he say it feels good?

If so, then you are at least on the right track, if not...then we may have to take a different approach.

I did notice that you mention that he does a lot of "thrusting" - while you are giving him head, he shouldn't be thrusting the same as when he is having sex...my God your throat would ache! He should be more gentle, and basically let you take the lead. Try to get him to relinquish some of the power here, let you take over the pleasure giving. He is not used to that.

Also, I don't know about you, but I give my man bj's that last much longer than 30 minutes on average. If we are doing foreplay, we may switch it up with a 69, then just me, then some sex, then back to the bj, but my all over straight bj time is no less than 15 to 20 minutes just for him alone.....so I think maybe you need to vary your technique if you are getting tired. Find a position that is more relaxing for you neck. I like to lay with my feet toward his head and my face buried in his groin, then he can touch me, I can suck him, and I can vary the sucking, licking, touching, etc. I also can easily transition to a knees position or a 69 position without loosing CONTACT with his cock. That is important if your guy looses the hard on without contact.

How long a break are you taking to switch positions? My advice...always have a hand on the cock! As long as something is touching it, he should stay aroused...unless he just isn't into oral (which would be odd, but not unheard of if he went without for 18 years I suppose)

I would try to show him how great it can be. Throw yourself into the mix. Sit on his face! Do the 69 while you are doing this...there is no reason why you can't have 2 things at once.

It seems like you are using the MTFH rule - Mouth, Tongue, Fingers, Hands - while giving head, so I won't go over that with you, but I will say, if you are getting tired, and he is loosing it, just find a better position. Women don't have to have the head a bobbin the whole time they are giving head....men actually prefer a little variety during their BJ...

AND DON'T FORGET TO DEEP THROAT!

I hope this helps a little!

Mikayla

[Beyondblessed]

First, WELCOME.

Second, I am glad to hear the positive attitude here. Not giving up, willing to teach, willing to keep at it. Good for you.

This guy is preconditioned to get his orgasms in other ways besides oral sex. It may take him a while to get used to the idea or the feeling of oral sex. Let me ask you, does he like the feeling of it while you do it, does he say it feels good?

If so, then you are at least on the right track, if not...then we may have to take a different approach.

I did notice that you mention that he does a lot of "thrusting" - while you are giving him head, he shouldn't be thrusting the same as when he is having sex...my God your throat would ache! He should be more gentle, and basically let you take the lead. Try to get him to relinquish some of the power here, let you take over the pleasure giving. He is not used to that.

Also, I don't know about you, but I give my man bj's that last much longer than 30 minutes on average. If we are doing foreplay, we may switch it up with a 69, then just me, then some sex, then back to the bj, but my all over straight bj time is no less than 15 to 20 minutes just for him alone.....so I think maybe you need to vary your technique if you are getting tired. Find a position that is more relaxing for you neck. I like to lay with my feet toward his head and my face buried in his groin, then he can touch me, I can suck him, and I can vary the sucking, licking, touching, etc. I also can easily transition to a knees position or a 69 position without loosing CONTACT with his cock. That is important if your guy looses the hard on without contact.

How long a break are you taking to switch positions? My advice...always have a hand on the cock! As long as something is touching it, he should stay aroused...unless he just isn't into oral (which would be odd, but not unheard of if he went without for 18 years I suppose)

I would try to show him how great it can be. Throw yourself into the mix. Sit on his face! Do the 69 while you are doing this...there is no reason why you can't have 2 things at once.

It seems like you are using the MTFH rule - Mouth, Tongue, Fingers, Hands - while giving head, so I won't go over that with you, but I will say, if you are getting tired, and he is loosing it, just find a better position. Women don't have to have the head a bobbin the whole time they are giving head....men actually prefer a little variety during their BJ...

AND DON'T FORGET TO DEEP THROAT!

I hope this helps a little!

Mikayla

I am glad someone addressed this topic...i was begining to wonder...

I have a similar problem...its not AT ALL that my gf doesnt turn me one...OMW does she!!!

And she is SOOOO amazing at oral sex but I last so long that she has asked me if she could stop

and rest....I have gone an hour before without orgasm....not that it didnt feel amazing but I dunno what the problem was. She is great too...she can deep throat like no ones business...and she is amazingly attractive.

I have thought about varying positions ..and have...it helped some...but Im not sure if it isnt more of a psychological problem with me.

I am very physically able to get erections...I can just be laying in bed without stimulation and get amazing erections...and when just kissing and hugging/making out I get erections that feel like theyre going to burst IM so aroused but as soon as she reaches for the belt buckle I have to focus on keeping an erection...I can ususally maintain an erection but the quality usually is lacking IE not as hard as possible...etc...and have problem losing erection quickly without constant stimulation.

I dont know what the problem is because I TOTALLY want to share these kind of experiences with her.

I was just wondering if anyone had any insight.

BeyondBlessed

[whoohoo]

First, WELCOME.

Second, I am glad to hear the positive attitude here. Not giving up, willing to teach, willing to keep at it. Good for you.

This guy is preconditioned to get his orgasms in other ways besides oral sex. It may take him a while to get used to the idea or the feeling of oral sex. Let me ask you, does he like the feeling of it while you do it, does he say it feels good?

If so, then you are at least on the right track, if not...then we may have to take a different approach.

I did notice that you mention that he does a lot of "thrusting" - while you are giving him head, he shouldn't be thrusting the same as when he is having sex...my God your throat would ache! He should be more gentle, and basically let you take the lead. Try to get him to relinquish some of the power here, let you take over the pleasure giving. He is not used to that.

Also, I don't know about you, but I give my man bj's that last much longer than 30 minutes on average. If we are doing foreplay, we may switch it up with a 69, then just me, then some sex, then back to the bj, but my all over straight bj time is no less than 15 to 20 minutes just for him alone.....so I think maybe you need to vary your technique if you are getting tired. Find a position that is more relaxing for you neck. I like to lay with my feet toward his head and my face buried in his groin, then he can touch me, I can suck him, and I can vary the sucking, licking, touching, etc. I also can easily transition to a knees position or a 69 position without loosing CONTACT with his cock. That is important if your guy looses the hard on without contact.

How long a break are you taking to switch positions? My advice...always have a hand on the cock! As long as something is touching it, he should stay aroused...unless he just isn't into oral (which would be odd, but not unheard of if he went without for 18 years I suppose)

I would try to show him how great it can be. Throw yourself into the mix. Sit on his face! Do the 69 while you are doing this...there is no reason why you can't have 2 things at once.

It seems like you are using the MTFH rule - Mouth, Tongue, Fingers, Hands - while giving head, so I won't go over that with you, but I will say, if you are getting tired, and he is loosing it, just find a better position. Women don't have to have the head a bobbin the whole time they are giving head....men actually prefer a little variety during their BJ...

AND DON'T FORGET TO DEEP THROAT!

I hope this helps a little!

Mikayla

Thanks for all the input. I am so stubborn, I will keep working at it until I get the desired results. By God, he is going to love it! To answer your question, yes, he says that he loves the way it feels. He has had trouble all along with his erection doing other things as well, so I bet it isn't my technique that is the major problem. He is 40, a little out of shape, although he is currently working out with weights and exercising. He does smoke, so we have a lot of hurdles to jump over.

Mikayla, after reading all that I have on deep throating, I know I need some advice. I have only swallowed a few times, and not with my current boyfriend. The only reason I haven't, (I would love to blow his mind and do it) is I don't really think it would be a turn on for him, for me to be constantly gagging around his cock. I have a problem with the gagging, and it used to not be such a problem, but I had a steady lover for a while, and just got out of the habit. Really come to think of it, I haven't done it since high school, I guess. I am now back into the scene, and I want to refresh myself on how to do all of this stuff. Also, whenever I have tasted pre-cum in my mouth, I shiver, and soon after I gag. I have upon occasion tried to overcome thinking about it, and been sucessful at times. I would love to take his load. Can you help explain how to get used to deep-throating? Do you have to relax your throat or something? Is there a secret to it?

[Mikayla1]

WhooHoo,

Of course there is a trick to Deep Throating, there are a few actually. There are is also something I want to address about your "gag' reflex when it comes to the pre-cum thing. Have you ever swallowed a load? Surely you are not suggesting that the taste of cum makes you gag? Cum should have a rather null taste, salty sometimes, and actually can taste different with diet. The gag reflex upong taste/texture is mostly a psychological thing. You can overcome that rather quickly by just thinking of the immense POWER there is in sucking a guy off.

Next, deep throating is an art form - truly - an art form. Every woman is capable, but not every woman does it well. I am lucky in that I have virtually no gag reflex even when that cock is deep down my throat, I can deep throat in any position (sitting, standing, laying, 69) and I can keep the cock down in my throat for a long time by breathing out my nose. Many women freak out when their windpipe is closed off and feel suffocated, and then gag.

The trick is relaxation. The other trick for beginners is finding a position where your throat is naturally relaxed so that you can take his cock at your throat's natural curve. I suggest 1 or 2 positions: you lying on the bed, with your head over the edge, him standing at the edge. Your head will be tilted back, and your throat will naturally relax. This is similar to when doctors try to put a breathing tube down your throat - they tilt your head back, and relax your chin. Same principle, bigger tube. Or, you can kneel down in front of him and tilt your own head back. This position may be easier because you can look up at him, he can grab your hair, you can control yourself better, and you might not get dizzy.

Once you pick your position, start slow, get it really wet with your saliva, using your hands to really help to slather it up - then tilt the head, and start to suck it down, swallowing and opening your throat at the same time. At first do not try to keep it down there, just put it down and take it out. After you get comfortable getting it down there, and you don't gag - then you can hold it there for a moment or three and lick his balls with your tongue - OMG that will send him over the edge.

I like to deep throat my hb...lick his balls, hum while I have the whole length of him in me, then take it out do some quick licks and flicks with my tongue and then BAM put it right back down my throat....then out, then in and out the full length quick. The humming usually sends him over the edge.

As for swallowing his load while deep throating. This isn't as hard as you think. Have you ever done a beer bong? Same principle. You are already using your bodies natural reflexes to do the work for you. You either have to have his cock ALL the way down, or just in your mouth, half way doesn't cut it. IF it is all the way down, just go with it, breathe out your nose, and wait until he is done. If he is doing it in your mouth, you either suck and swallow as he goes, or you suck it all in and swallow when he is done. I won't even suggest spit on this forum post - that is another question all together.

So I hope this gives you some helpful advice on how to proceed. You are right about the gagging, he won't enjoy that as much as a seemless BJ. You can do it. If you want, practice with a banana. No kidding, a banana. It works!

good Luck!

Mikayla

[whoohoo]

I was amazed just reading. I remember I have done this with a fudge pop. Needless to say, that will be the first thing I put in the ol' buggy when I go to the grocery store tomorrow. (I don't like bananas!!!)Maybe a cucumber or two will find it's way in there as well. LOL. As for the gagging/cum thing? I think it is a psychological thing. It might be different if it is hitting the back of my throat as opposed to my tongue. Maybe I will learn to like the taste after a while. He is the one man I would love to do this with, so I will let you know how in all comes out! (I know, I just had to say it!)

[whoohoo]

I think you would find that the curve in the banana will help make it easier to get past your uvula, and into your throat. The popsicle is okay, but it is both cold, hard, and Straight, and that can add to discomfort and gagging. When using the banana, leave the PEEL ON! Never try this with a skinned banana, where part of it could break off and become an obstruction that will be hard to remove from your throat. You could choke to death, and how embarrassing would that be ? Not that you will be around to care. Some women( and men) will put a condom over the banana or pickle, or zuchinni, etc. but others don't like the taste of latex. Make sure there are no sharp corners or edges.

Oh my goodness, Howard. I almost choked to death reading this! How funny. Thank you for clearing this up. (How embarrassing!) I did think you peeled it. Oh well, you seem to be the one in the know around here. BTW, I finally swallowed for the first time today. I was caught up in the moment, so was he, and I did it. I am so proud! I did gag twice though, and he definitely noticed, he said so afterwards, but he was so grateful, that I think it was okay. I mean who does he have to compare it to? I will just get better and better, and one day I hope to think nothing of it! Thanks for the help.

[amwjb]

i was wondering about the gag situation. i watched a movie the other day where this girl was trying to deep throat and gagging so bad i thought she was going to lose her cookies on him. i was wondering do guys like to see the girl gag? to me that would be yuck! i've never learned the art of deep throat unless i'm laying on my back with my head hanging off the bed but like you said that position can't be maintained long. but that's okay. my hb is pretty happy with my energizer hand working while i suck his head.