amwjb

how do you get it open to put the batteries in?

this will sound so stupid but i just got my jelly clitterific and i can't figure out how to open it to put the batteries in. if anyone has this toy please help me thanks

i love getting naked in the pool and standing infront of the return jet. oooo i cum so hard!!!!!!!

Good Friends Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday. Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left. Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?" Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' Reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100." "Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust

There was a church down in Texas that had a very big-busted >organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said >something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. > >One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons though because they are so sour, they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while. She agreed to try it. > The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said....... > "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon tewday"

i love to wear summer dresses with cute sandles and an anklet. makes me feel really good about how i look especially if i'm having a good hair day

i suffer from it too every since i was a kid. i have found that warm baths and massages help some. also i make sure to keep my legs elevated. but sometimes nothing helps at all. it is very frustrating especially when all you want to do is sleep. i have started having sever pain run down the front of my thighs now, along with the antsy and tingly feelings. my suggestion is if you have insurance and can afford it have her talk to her doctor.

MILDRED AND MARGE AN OLD FARMER WENT TO TOWN TO SEE A MOVIE. THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, "SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?" THE OLD FARMER SAID, "Oh, THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER, CHUCKY. WHEREVER I GO, CHUCKY GOES." "I AM SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT. "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER." THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED THE BIRD DOWN HIS OVERALLS. HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET AND ENTERED THE THEATER. HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE. THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCKY COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE. "MARGE," WHISPERED MILDRED. "WHAT?" SAID MARGE. "I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT." "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE. "HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT," WHISPERED MILDRED. "WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT," SAID MARGE. "HELL, AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL" "I THOUGHT SO TOO," SAID MILDRED, "BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN!!!

fantisize about being a sub -- i love the dirty talk and having my hands held still and having my hair pulled while he is behind but i get scared. i was raped my first time and didn't get help. so i don't know if i'm just reliving the rape with hopes of a better out come or if i'm really enjoying myself. i just know that if it goes on for too long i get really freaked out and start crying and shaking and end up locking myself in the bathroom. you would think that after 27 years and two kids and two marriages i would be over it.

Stormy's Pearl Diver my favorite. just the right size and has adjustable speeds. also isn't hard rubber so is very comfortable

i watched a show once that had a man with the same thing going on. the sexperts had him do exercises just like a woman does. where he tightens up his muscles and releases them. they had him do them until he could raise and lower a wet towel on his penis. this is supposed to build up the muscles so that when you feel it beggining you can stop it.

i have two cherries with a bow on the inside of my thigh. no matter what i'll always have my cherries

i love my pearl diver and so does my husband. he loves to drive me crazy with it!!!

mmmm astro pop!!! silk for sure!!! outside in nature or secure in the house?

dang euphoria were we living the same life? I cheated with several men during my first husband. He was always either drunk or stoned and wouldn't work. Men would play on that fact and I was young and dumb enough to fall for anything. They said things that made me feel good about myself. I worked anywhere from 10-12 hours a day sometimes 7 days a week. I was always tired. Most of the time I would just start crying and they would comfort me which would lead to other things... before you know it I had a whole string of "comforters" as word got around. Was the grass greener... definatly not. I almost lost my son through the ordeal. Would I do it again? No! I'm older and wiser and stronger now. Not afraid to stand up for myself. But best of all I have a wonderful new husband who works hard and really treats me like I'm worth something... His time and energy.

for me when i want it fast and dirty it is Motley Crue's Dr. Feelgood when i want it slow and erotic it is Led Zepplin's Dazed and Confused

i always try to swallow. my husband and i have a joke between us. he will say something or someone sucks and i always follow it with "yeah but i swallow". and we laugh and he will compliment me. i do love it when he cums on my tits though. but please don't shoot on my face.

i was wondering about the gag situation. i watched a movie the other day where this girl was trying to deep throat and gagging so bad i thought she was going to lose her cookies on him. i was wondering do guys like to see the girl gag? to me that would be yuck! i've never learned the art of deep throat unless i'm laying on my back with my head hanging off the bed but like you said that position can't be maintained long. but that's okay. my hb is pretty happy with my energizer hand working while i suck his head.

i asked my first boyfriend that same question. nope having had two kids and swallowed lots of cum in my day thankfully we can't get pregnant that way... nope nope nope

fredicks of hollywood. sexy for any size woman!

Ok so I think I messed things up. First about me. I'm very passionate. I love sex! I am almost to the point of being a nympho. when my husband and I first started dating I was trying to get my life together. I had a rather bad rep of being a slut. I wasn't really but I did date alot and I had alot more guy friends then girlfriends. I even had the guys at work telling me that if I see them out in public with there wives or girlfriends then don't talk to them. I even had one guy tell me that when I broke up with someone all the women would go oh no she's on the prowl again. Unfortantly what they didn't understand was that I like men and men like me because we could talk and laugh together. I'm not a gossip monger. I like inteligent conversation. Books, movies, politics, cars, real life events. If I chose to take a man into my bed I figured that was my right as a single woman over 21. So anyway ... I was really trying hard to clean up my act so to speak when I met my husband. He was really wonderful. I thought this time I'm going to be courted. I'm not going to just jump into bed I'm going to take it slow and see what happens. Well it didn't quite work out that way. After the second date he kinda gave me a round about ultimatum about sleeping with him. Said he felt like I was too good for him. So I said what the hell why not. It was okay. not the best but it was sweet. We moved in together after 2 months and things were okay. I had two preteens so that kinda put a strain on the relationship since he had never been married and didn't have any kids. Guess you could say he got quite a shock. He seemed to adjust okay because 4 months later we were married. Then things really got rough in the bedroom. I would try to come on to him but he would say he was tired and no was no. And I wasn't going to make him do something he didn't want to do. Being a rape victim I could understand this. But I got so lonely and hungry I took it out on the fridge and gained 100 lbs. Now for the problem--- My husband has always worked really hard so he goes to bed at precisily 9pm. I on the other hand am a night owl with frequent bouts of insomnia. I would stay up late while he went to bed. We grew apart in the bedroom. So much so that sex became about a once every two to three month thing. Some of it I attribute to my being busy with the kids. Some of it has to do with his medication for anxity. His doctor has prescribed viagra for him and it works great. But it has been 2 years since the kids have been grown and gone and this is still happening. We even discuss how much we need to work on our relationship. We made a new years resolution that aleast once a week we would come together and play but the very next day when I tried to start things he rejected me and so I hit the fridge again. Well this morning after being up all night desiring him and having erotic dreams about him I woke him up giving him a hand job. He got hard and we started then he just went limp. So instead of continuing on with whatever would work and maybe getting it back up, (he knew I was hot cause I was dripping wet and I told him I had trouble sleeping cause I wanted him so bad) he rolls off me and says.. ready for coffee? man this has happended so many time I can't count. It's equal to being left in the middle of sex with a throbbing hard on and they act like they don't care. I just got up and went in the bathroom and cried. By the time I got myself together the coffee was ready so I took my cup outside and fed the birds. He came out and sat down and after a few minutes asked if I was mad at him. I said no not mad but just very hurt. and rejected. I told him how I felt about being abandond with a hard on and he said.- I went limp what was I supposed to do? I told him there were other ways to finish what we started. and that we hadn't made love more than 100 times in the last 9 years... he just got up and slammed the door and hasn't hardly spoken to me since. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired of turning to food. I know I'm way overweight. My doctor has express concerns about my health and I hear people at work talking. But I'm so lonely. When we married I was really hot. I'm very good at my tecniques. And I'm not scared to try most anything. (that doesn't involve pain) Now I'm just a fat dumpy ...what? i sure don't feel like a wife. can you help? can the poster that lost all that weight tell me how she did it?

I used to love having sex on the beach in broad day light. But the best was during Mardi Gras in Galveston. There is a grain elevator there where my ex used to work. We had been wondering around and partying all day when we decided to take a break away from the crowds. He asked me if I would like to see where he worked so I said yes. We explored all over the elevator chasing each other around and just having fun when we came to the door that lead out onto the roof. It was so cool! we could see the whole party going on. Well we started getting freaky and before you know it we were getting busy right there on the roof in the daylight. We were just finishing up when wouldn't you know it a helicopter came overhead and started hovering. Heck what can a girl do but just look up and wave and smile. Best experience I've ever had.

by all means use the toys. my husband is on medications that tend to make him not want sex. i use my toy and masterbate to keep myself happy and satisfied so i won't be tempted by other men since i work in a predominatly all male office.

i'm a twister. i try to hold off as long as i can but when the build up gets too much i twist side to side. it seems like my head, hips and torso all go in opposite directions. a guy once told me it was like riding a bucking bronc.

before i had to start carpooling to work it was almost daily. on my lunch hour i would go to this park and find a bathroom or just sit in my car and face the water. now it is only about twice a week. people have made comments that i'm not as nice and i get more upset easier. (got to start having more fun more often.)