Members ilovebabyjada Posted June 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 ok. so i bought a little vibrator and i love to rub it on my clit.Today i realized one thing. I can't make myself cum with my brand new vibrator. i've had it for about a week and i just can't do it. i mean. i've gotten tons of use out of it (thanks to my phone and my boyfriend... he's away right now. be we manage).but even before that. he's the only one (not even me or my toys) that can get me to cum. and i don't understand why. i mess with the vibes on my clit and i love it. i got really close today. but when i could feel it wanting to happen. it just wouldn't. i'm home alone (well my daughter was sleeping -but she sleeps like a rock so close enought) and i just don't understand. it frustrates the daylights out of me. i can climax when i use the vibe inside me. but it isn't as good as the real deal. what can i do to make it more enjoyable for him to hear and me to play? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted June 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 ok. so i bought a little vibrator and i love to rub it on my clit.Today i realized one thing. I can't make myself cum with my brand new vibrator. i've had it for about a week and i just can't do it. i mean. i've gotten tons of use out of it (thanks to my phone and my boyfriend... he's away right now. be we manage).but even before that. he's the only one (not even me or my toys) that can get me to cum. and i don't understand why. i mess with the vibes on my clit and i love it. i got really close today. but when i could feel it wanting to happen. it just wouldn't. i'm home alone (well my daughter was sleeping -but she sleeps like a rock so close enought) and i just don't understand. it frustrates the daylights out of me. i can climax when i use the vibe inside me. but it isn't as good as the real deal. what can i do to make it more enjoyable for him to hear and me to play?Let me ask you, are you using lube? Sometimes you can get sensitive with a lot of clitoral stimulation and lube def helps. Are you relaxed, comfortable, how aroused are you? These things all come into play. I read one time that 90% of orgasms for women is psychological. Meaning you have to be mentally ready as well as physically. Mood wise, stress wise etc. I actually think in some ways it is a good thing that he is the one who can get you off. So many women have the opposite problem where their SO can't please them and they can only have an orgasm via masturbation. Although you do need to figure out what YOU like on your own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted June 18, 2008 Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 Sometimes, when we get use to getting off a certain way, we are in such a rut that it seems impossible to get off any other way. Take your time, and keep trying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ilovebabyjada Posted June 18, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 no lube for me. i keep myself pretty wet. turst me on that one.. i just don't know!! i think relaxing is the reason. that's what he thinks too. he said maybe i'm only fully relaxed when i'm around him. but my body just wants it so bad!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ilovebabyjada Posted June 18, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 You are young, and seriously, still learning. Our sexuality is developmental process. All good things come in time. (No pun intended.)i have had more experience than anyone my age should have. i got pregnant when i was 14.. and haven't stopped doing things since... don't worry about me being too young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted June 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 I'm in my mid thirties ufnny, and I learn new things about sex and my sexuality all the time and I've been practicing for over half my life. I think that you've trained yourself to think that you can't do it without him so you're starting to believe you can't. When you believe you can't and your brain isn't in the same place your body is, then you're not going to orgasm, plain and simple. The human mind is a very powerful thing and can be used for your benefit as well as betray you as it seems to have done. My suggestion is makes some time for yourself, close your eyes, and immerse yourself into a fantasy. Let your mind go where it wants to in that fantasy and ride the waves of pleasure.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted June 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 I'm 45 and I know jack. But you know that's not a bad thing, I can't imagine how boring it would be now if I knew it all at 25 let alone 20.Randy is right, your brain is a powerful thing. Just relax, you have plenty of time to learn. And don't knock lube it's not just for dry spells. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted June 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 practice, practice, practice! Your young, keep at it. You will get it eventually Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted June 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 I think iha was referring more to your lack of experience more than your age. You are very young and even you state that you cannot pleasure yourself! It really doesn't matter how long you have been working at this none of us know it all. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar! I think you need to relax and stop stressing about it and it will eventually come to you. But you really would benefit from knowing how to pleasure yourself and so would your hubby! BTW, I CAN'T NEVER DID SHIT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ilovebabyjada Posted June 24, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 I think iha was referring more to your lack of experience more than your age. You are very young and even you state that you cannot pleasure yourself! It really doesn't matter how long you have been working at this none of us know it all. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar! I think you need to relax and stop stressing about it and it will eventually come to you. But you really would benefit from knowing how to pleasure yourself and so would your hubby! BTW, I CAN'T NEVER DID SHIT!i can have an orgasm with penitration (even with my toy), it's just clit stimulation. i am going to go get the new KY mine and yours and see if that helps, but i'm not stressing at it. the boyfriend did say "well good. then i do have a purpose" and we were able to laugh. so we'll see. stressing over it isn't an issue. it's turned into acceptance and once in awhile i try, but don't get frustrated. thanks guys for all the input!! i was nervous about posting something like this, but hey. it's life and that's what talking is for!! thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted June 25, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2008 Never be nervous about questions. You will find what works for the two of you. You'll see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted June 25, 2008 Report Share Posted June 25, 2008 LOL Aiden "I'm 45 and I don't know Jack!" iha & Thur is right, no matter how old or young you are, you should always try and learn new things when having sex. You can learn new things with a lover you've been with for 20 years! People's likes and dislikes may change. Always try to be open to new experiences and ideas with your lover.Just try and relax, take your time, and, when you feel like you're feeling super good, try deep breathing. A lot of the time, I orgasm while exhaling, taking deep, slow, controlled breaths. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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