Update On Relationship..or Lack Thereof

[cmwise1]

Well, i gave the match.com guy another chance. He came over this weekend to visit. This was a "get to know" each other weekend...I was hoping we would spend more time out of the bedroom than in it. I really wanted to see if we were compatible.

We had talked over the phone and by IM and I made my wishes known, about 100 times.

5 minutes here and he's putting the moves on. I tell him that's not what i had in mind for this weekend. He doesn't care. A lot more pressure and hey, i'm only human, we end up in the bedroom.

I agreed to go there.

Sex was worse than first time. After 5 min of oral for me he ASKS if i had cum yet or was i close? Manufactured orgasm quickly. i wanted to end this charade.

30 minute spent on him getting anal again. I agreed to it. Clearly this guy was all about himself.

Sat down with him afterwards. I told him I was disappointed with myself, (I was) and thought it would be best for him to leave. He did the next morning. Although he tried to seduce me again despite my requests, no more sex. i was so glad when he left.

I wanted to give it one more try but it didn't work out at all. Maybe i had already decided in my mind that this wasn't going to happen right, but it seemed to follow my instincts about the situation. I was disappointed i broke my own request, but not THAT disappointed. I will not beat myself up over this. But it has put me off of Match.com for ever. I think I'll just sit back and relax with my toys. They don't have to ask!!

[mailahn97]

Sorry that you had to go through that. At least you got the answers that you were looking for. Think of it this way....much better to have the naswers now then way down the road.

You are exactly right about the toys....they are ready, willing and able.....when you are.

[sun_flower969]

Hey, you are Human, He was a dud, what can you do... It's not your fault. At least you can say you tried and now say, NEXT! You'll find him Pinky!

[angelkisses98]

aww mo'chroi.. ya know, when you are not looking, and least expecting him, thats when you will find him.

[cmwise1]

Oh Pinky, I'm so sorry. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be a guy. There are guys out there that will value you for more than sex. This one clearly is missing out on getting to know an interesting and wonderful person.

You have every right to be assertive and insist on the relationship development first. You also have the right to invite or choose to have sex. But you may need to decide to discipline your sexual desires in order to achieve your larger goal. Believe me when I say I understand how tempting it is to have sex with someone who really really wants it with you, and how difficult it is to turn that down for a higher cause.

Do not ever 'settle' for something (or someone) you do not want to do. In the short time I have learned about you here on a posting forum, I can readily perceive that you are a wonderful woman, and there is one lucky man out there looking for you.

iha, that is a wonderful compliment and coming from you, means much to me. Thank you

[Valntyn]

Aw, pink, I'm sorry. Even though he sounded the selfish dud the first time, I'm glad you gave him another chance, because it gave you the absolute answers you were seeking. But I am sorry he turned out to be a zero.

Don't give up. Although I'm a firm believer that when you stop looking, there it is... I also believe you need to put yourself out there and give yourself another chance to find what you want.

Stay safe, but have fun.

[Tyger]

I agree with Val and the others. At least you have it a shot, gave him another chance, and not only learned that he was a selfish and pushy man, but that your instincts are spot on, and you can really heed them next time. Dating is hard! Especially if you're out of the loop/practice, or just don't do it that much. Expectations are so different for everyone, it's hell. Thank goodness I don't hafta do that anymore! Though, if I did, I've got, what Whiskywoman says is a "low bullshit tolerance level", so weeding out the bad ones would be quick! LOL

Best wishes for the next one!

[mystofpric]

I have issues with match .com and all of those sites any way. I am glad you gave him a second chance, sometimes people are just off their game the first time but clearly he has no game. There are wonderful men out there, absolutely fanatsic men. Now granted when I meet them they're with someone bt the point is that they are out there. So sit back relax, let your toys help you wash this one out of your system and mind and then when your ready hop back up on the horse, He's out there looking for you too you know.

[Mikayla1]

Awww, sorry Pinky! Yep, this guy was ALLL about himself. I am much like Tyger, if this smuck had asked if I was close to orgasm, like putting on the pressure, I would have peed in his mouth! Bastard. Just kidding, but i would have been mad. I think we women have a hard time separating sex and relationships, and sometimes it bites us in the butt. I have had many a similar experience. There was one guy, 'condom man' I refer to him as. We met at a mall. He asked me out. I got in his car to go to dinner. he opens his glove box and shows me a bunch of condoms and says, 'for later if you play your cards right.' I looked at him, got out of the car and said, 'find another box to use your love gloves on.' Total loser!

[chloegirl]

Oh Pinky, I'm so sorry you had to deal with this jerk. It sucks that you have to weed thru the toads like him, but there are good guys still out there looking for a good woman like you and I have to believe that you will find one. Don't give up....there's got to be some clandestine meeting coming your way from some direction you may not have even thought about and he will be the "keeper"! You have so much to give and offer and you deserve to find that happiness returned to you! Hang in there!

[Amylynn920]

Well, i gave the match.com guy another chance. He came over this weekend to visit. This was a "get to know" each other weekend...I was hoping we would spend more time out of the bedroom than in it. I really wanted to see if we were compatible.

We had talked over the phone and by IM and I made my wishes known, about 100 times.

5 minutes here and he's putting the moves on. I tell him that's not what i had in mind for this weekend. He doesn't care. A lot more pressure and hey, i'm only human, we end up in the bedroom.

I agreed to go there.

Sex was worse than first time. After 5 min of oral for me he ASKS if i had cum yet or was i close? Manufactured orgasm quickly. i wanted to end this charade.

30 minute spent on him getting anal again. I agreed to it. Clearly this guy was all about himself.

Sat down with him afterwards. I told him I was disappointed with myself, (I was) and thought it would be best for him to leave. He did the next morning. Although he tried to seduce me again despite my requests, no more sex. i was so glad when he left.

I wanted to give it one more try but it didn't work out at all. Maybe i had already decided in my mind that this wasn't going to happen right, but it seemed to follow my instincts about the situation. I was disappointed i broke my own request, but not THAT disappointed. I will not beat myself up over this. But it has put me off of Match.com for ever. I think I'll just sit back and relax with my toys. They don't have to ask!!

Sorry you had to go through that again but alot of us knew this guy was all about him. Glad you found out for sure now tho.

*hugs*

[ManofHerdreams]

I'm very sorry to hear this Pinky, but from your previous post about this jerk I can't say that I am surprised. I'm ashamed to know that there are men like this in the world.

I'll assure you that there is a man out there that will treat you like the lady you are and fulfill your wants and fantasies. He's looking for you but hasn't found his way yet.

Please don't judge us all by the rotten smell of a few bad apples.

Man

[makasha1]

Pinky

Sorry you had to go through that stuff with a dud. But IMHO I think that's what you will mostly find on dating sites.

Your knight in shining armor will show up when you least expect him I'm sure.

Remember to stay true to yourself.

Another good thing about toys is when you are not in the mood they don't keep pestering you.

[cybele]

Pinky,

Sorry to hear about the fiasco. From what I know of you, you deserve someone of a lot more quality.

I have friends who have done the gambit of dating sites. One of my friends thought she found someone really compatible. Lots of chemistry, great conversation, similar life goals. He was in the process of getting a divorce. That was three years ago. He's still in the process. She's had it and plans on telling him so next time she sees him. Meanwhile, she's tried more dating sites, and been on more dates, all with the same results as you've had.

Where do we, single 40+yr olds, meet decent men?

Your right, toys don't ask; they are never self-serving; and they don't leave beard stubble in the sink. lol.

[cmwise1]

Pinky,

Sorry to hear about the fiasco. From what I know of you, you deserve someone of a lot more quality.

I have friends who have done the gambit of dating sites. One of my friends thought she found someone really compatible. Lots of chemistry, great conversation, similar life goals. He was in the process of getting a divorce. That was three years ago. He's still in the process. She's had it and plans on telling him so next time she sees him. Meanwhile, she's tried more dating sites, and been on more dates, all with the same results as you've had.

Where do we, single 40+yr olds, meet decent men?

Your right, toys don't ask; they are never self-serving; and they don't leave beard stubble in the sink. lol.

i don't know...i don't go to bars...wouldn't want to meet someone who hung out there

Not a church goer

I don't even work except at home so don't meet many men, except at the grocery store. Monday night is divorced father's night. It's really difficult.

[sun_flower969]

If I were in your position I would probably be all over those online dating sites, you know Eharmony, match, chemistry and all those. I know you tried Match.com. Don't give up! You deserve to be happy.

[makasha1]

i don't know...i don't go to bars...wouldn't want to meet someone who hung out there

Not a church goer

I don't even work except at home so don't meet many men, except at the grocery store. Monday night is divorced father's night. It's really difficult.

If you have the time try volenteering. Hospital, homeless shelter, rest home,etc.

The men who do that probably are good guys. If nothing else you could meet some new friends.

[cybele]

i don't know...i don't go to bars...wouldn't want to meet someone who hung out there

Not a church goer

I don't even work except at home so don't meet many men, except at the grocery store. Monday night is divorced father's night. It's really difficult.

I know what you mean. I have no idea where to meet them. The only difference is that I teach, but certainly don't want to get involved with any teacher at the school... not that any are available. I was at Borders one Saturday night and it seemed to be full of many single people. I'll have to check it out again. Who would have thought? Go to a bookstore to meet men? hehe.

[cybele]

i don't know...i don't go to bars...wouldn't want to meet someone who hung out there

Not a church goer

I don't even work except at home so don't meet many men, except at the grocery store. Monday night is divorced father's night. It's really difficult.

By the way, if you were thinking of going to another online site, one of my friends found a free one:

http://www.plentyoffish.com/

Good luck - let me know if you find any other places where they're hanging out wondering where all the nice decent available women are

[bluelotusparties]

in any aspect love should always be a give and take process.