Erection Problems..please Help

[Beyondblessed]

Ok..letme go over who I am first.

I am a 21 year old male, college student, works part time and balances family relationships with everything else in life...pretty busy.

I just proposed to my girlfriend friday and she said yes...she is 20.

I had sex for the first time with her friday...with anyone for that matter...at 21 mind you.

But have been having a few problems and am scared to death now.

i am very attracted to her physically and mentally...emotionally..all ways.

We had had oral sex before, and it was never a problem...but...she sometimes would have to hold the base of my erection to keep me up...not that i wasnt aroused or turned on...i was....

But when we made love i had a hard time acheiving erections...i was turned on, excited,...the whole bit.

And it has never been a problem before..until now.

I used to get erection so hard you could cut glass with them...I mean felt like they would burst...could hang stuff from them...like a pair of shoes...lol...but maybe I have mentally trained myself over the years to keep erections down...I mean...who wants to be pitchin a huge tent in class or at work?

also we tried to behave ourselves for so long and I tried to be a gentleman that i would try hard mentally to subdue sexual feelings so that we didnt go further than we had set our limits.

Also when I masturbate now i can achieve orgasm at onyl about 80% erection...it oesnt have to be hard as a rock..and I dont know how to make it that hard....As of right now I havent had an erection in 3 days....that i know of....but also havent had alot of sexual desire either...I used to have ALOT..ALOTALOT

But now I am not performing like I want to...and I am only 21...and scared.

also...I might be having some circulation problems...when she was on me...riding me...my legs would get ice cold...dont know why...i try and take supplements like l-arganine and b-6 and b12....niacin.

I dont get to work out vigorously in the winter because I just cant work out in the cold so I have stopped running...

If anyone has any advice or suggestions please letme know...feel free to share....

one scared young man

God bless

-BeyondBlessed

[Mikayla1]

Few ideas here for you:

First, have you been checked for Diabetes? Diabetes can cause circulatory problems, numbness, and erection problems. Maybe get checked for that.

Second, I know how religious you are, you have talked a lot about waiting for marriage to have sex. Now, I know you have just popped the question, but that isn't exactly marriage. Perhaps you are guilty in your heart (which I personally don't feel you should be) and as a result, you are psychologically sabotaging yourself. Just an idea.

Third, it is not uncommon for new lovers to have performance anxiety. IF you are nervous about satisfying your lover, and making her happy, you may just be loosing your hardness due to that.

If you are really concerned, talk to a doctor. It is important to cover your bases. In the meantime, try to relax, enjoy sex for what it is. Enjoy being together. If you still have problems, try a cock ring - that will help to keep the blood in your penis, and your erection harder. We can talk about that if you want. LEt me know.

Mikayla

[Beyondblessed]

Few ideas here for you:

First, have you been checked for Diabetes? Diabetes can cause circulatory problems, numbness, and erection problems. Maybe get checked for that.

Second, I know how religious you are, you have talked a lot about waiting for marriage to have sex. Now, I know you have just popped the question, but that isn't exactly marriage. Perhaps you are guilty in your heart (which I personally don't feel you should be) and as a result, you are psychologically sabotaging yourself. Just an idea.

Third, it is not uncommon for new lovers to have performance anxiety. IF you are nervous about satisfying your lover, and making her happy, you may just be loosing your hardness due to that.

If you are really concerned, talk to a doctor. It is important to cover your bases. In the meantime, try to relax, enjoy sex for what it is. Enjoy being together. If you still have problems, try a cock ring - that will help to keep the blood in your penis, and your erection harder. We can talk about that if you want. LEt me know.

Mikayla

Thank you for your reply Mikayla...

I went to see my doctor about an hour ago cause i was freakin out....rightfully so...i wait 21 years to do it now the plumbing doesnt cooperate...

But she thinks that its caused by all the stress in my life that my hormone levels are all out of wack

Ive got about 4 different part time jobs depending on the day of the week and 4 full-time classes as well as trying to balance the otehr chores of life like house work, shopping, bills, etc....and the recent stress of proposing to my GF(now fiance)....oh...BTW...You helped on that one mikayla...I borrowed the flowersidea and gave it a twist....thank you.

As for the personal convictions.....i have done alot of soul searching and come to feel that my level of commitment, in my heart and my spirit to her far surpasses any state issued certificate, and that I am mature enough emotionally, spiritually, and physically to be intimate with her.

i dont regret anything that i have done, because it was done with a pure heart and in love, and I dont feel conviction from God. Thank you for your concern.

The Doc is prescribing somthing i cant remember the name of right now...but its sposed to help with the hormone levels and make me more regular again...cause I was having other troubles too..like insomnia, jitteriness, and joint pains. But...check this out ...lo and behold there could or dould not be sexual side effects with the drug...but she thinks that as my body regulates itself again I wont have any adverse effects as I am taking no other meds and am pretty healthy.

i am also going for blood work tomorrow morning just to be safe.

She also leaned to believe that the stress and preformance anxiety contributed as well as spiritual reasons...so we'll see when these darn drugs kick in...I just got worried for a sec.

God bless

Beyondblessed

Youre a blessing Mikayla

Edited March 1, 2006 by BeyondBlessed

[Mikayla1]

Yeah, those hormones are a problem! It only takes a wee second for them to get all out of whack! I am pleased you went to a doctor, and I believe he/she is right, it is probably just that, combined with all the stress.

Now, take a deep breath, try some mediation, and try to relax and enjoy what should be one of the happiest times of your life - your new engagement to the love of your life!

Mikayla

[whoohoo]

My boyfriend and I have been having the same problems. He is 40. At times, he gets hard, and it is a rush to get it in before he gets soft again. 50% of the time, it gets soft before we can enjoy it.

I am at my wits end. I have tried to get to the root of the problem, asking if he's under stress, if he feels like he has to perform for me, etc. We are open about it. So there is communication.

It seems like he has trouble feeling any stimuli, he asks me to take the head with my fingers, and rub it, while stoking his balls, and again, 50% of the time this doesn't work. It also takes him a long time to reach an orgasm.

I hate it that it takes all this work to get things going, and would never tell him this; and although I am a patient girl, and will do what it takes, it gets to me. I start doubting his attraction for me, which can lead to other problems.

He mentioned that he has begun doing the male equivalent of kegal exercises, to see if that will help. Has anyone had any sucess with ANYTHING? What about herbal remedies? He has access to a doctor friend, and could probably get something to try, but I would hope he wouldn't have to go that route.

This seems so unfair. I hope that one day, we will get married, and even though I could enjoy a life with him without any penetration involved, I would not want to try it. Any advice?

[telecom69]

My boyfriend and I have been having the same problems. He is 40. At times, he gets hard, and it is a rush to get it in before he gets soft again. 50% of the time, it gets soft before we can enjoy it.

I am at my wits end. I have tried to get to the root of the problem, asking if he's under stress, if he feels like he has to perform for me, etc. We are open about it. So there is communication.

It seems like he has trouble feeling any stimuli, he asks me to take the head with my fingers, and rub it, while stoking his balls, and again, 50% of the time this doesn't work. It also takes him a long time to reach an orgasm.

I hate it that it takes all this work to get things going, and would never tell him this; and although I am a patient girl, and will do what it takes, it gets to me. I start doubting his attraction for me, which can lead to other problems.

He mentioned that he has begun doing the male equivalent of kegal exercises, to see if that will help. Has anyone had any sucess with ANYTHING? What about herbal remedies? He has access to a doctor friend, and could probably get something to try, but I would hope he wouldn't have to go that route.

This seems so unfair. I hope that one day, we will get married, and even though I could enjoy a life with him without any penetration involved, I would not want to try it. Any advice?

Does your boyfriend get erections an night or in the morning before getting up? That is important to know. My brother is an MD and I tried some herbal supplements he paid for as part of a clinical study. I can't say I noticed anything with them. Other men reported some improvements. Trying some can't hurt.

He also got me some Viagra once and Cialis. I can't say either of those helped either, so I know were mine were performance related. Blood flow to the penis is critical, and there could be several reason. I even had my testosterone checked with a blood test. Nomal is about 300-1,000. Have that checked. Stress can make a HUGE difference! I've had a lot of trouble with my 19 yr old daughter for four years, and the stress from that takes a toll on me sometimes in the bedroom.

I'm 46 and I've had some performance issues with my girlfriend to. I have no problems getting erectioins at night and in the morning, so that is a good sign. Mine were mostly from her being pretty timid and quiet, and I need some verbal stimulation to help get excited. What always works for me is her biting and licking my nipples and chest area if its difficult to get hard. Ok, I'm a guy but I'm really sensitive there and it feels wonderful. Try that area on him if you haven't.

Good Luck
Telecom