Too Tired For Sex?

[dogg]

We're both in our mid-forties...and have had a good sex life. Howver, lately, by the time we can get to bed...one or both of us are so tired, it's a tough going.

The other night, I was really up and ready..my wife was exhausted.

Last night, she was giving me the most awesome BJ, but I was so tired, I had trouble staying excited. We moved on to intercourse, and it was nice. Sometimes slow and easy aint all bad.

However, I was dissapointed, because she was really energtic and feeling it last night...

When were first married, it wasn't unusual to go 2-3 times in one night. I mean the first year or two. Of course, I was in my early 20s then....

For the record, I've been on a (reasonable) diet, gettting plenty of exercie..which increases my sex drive...but sometimes, no matter what...I just get tired!

With 2 kids still in school and a grown daughter and her son living with us (the baby is 2) it's not always easy to get to bed before 10 pm.

Any suggestions..for energy?

I think winning the lottery and quitting my job would get me lots more rest, but until that happens...what I can do?

[tootimidtoo]

I LOVE morning sex for this reason. I am not a late night person and DH is. So by the time we are both in bed together I am usually too tired. However I am very aroused first thing in the morning and have woke hubby up many times for sex. Sometimes we goe back to sleep, sometimes not.

[ladylove]

To bed before 10.... lucky man. We usually don't get to before 11.

......Anyway we have older children in college and high school, and the summer is the most difficult time for us. Is there any way you can take a 15 minute power nap during the day? It works for us.

[Mikayla1]

Every couple goes through times when they are tired or have lots of stress. This is normal. For these couples, setting the alarm clock for a morning session usually works great. Try morning sex then a combined shower. Or, if you like evening sex, don't wait until EVERYTHING is done - wait until you have quiet time and hit the sheets. It is important to make that time for connection - it is essential to not loose that because you are tired.

Truthfully, there are many nights when I am very tired. I get up and work out at 5:30, I have a toddler and essentially 3 jobs! I am tired. I do find, however, once sex and foreplay starts, I am energized. I take the stress and tiredness and turn it around. I guess what it takes is a little determination to overcome!

[Amylynn920]

GSK and I get to bed late. Sometimes 3AM and I am usually up by 9. This morning it was a 6:00AM bedtime and up at 9:00AM. This is common with us and I am tired many, many days.

Our sex is incredible and that's not the only reason we stay up. We stay up for *us* time. My elderly mom lives with us and we have a 6 year old. We have a home business.

My son is in bed at 8-9 usually and my mom about 9-10. Both are needy, which I understand, but there is no time for GSK and I. We are both resentful.

I have suggested a 10PM go to bed and play time and not wait until 5 hrs later. We are working toward that goal but neither of us likes or wants planned sex.

We just want privacy and us time.

I am not big on morning sex, it's ok. But I like the evening. We both prefer long slow sessions over the occasional quickie.

Again it's time for us that we have the hardest time finding.

I am watching this thread to see other's thoughts and what does/does not work for them.

I am soooo looking forward to going away with him alone in October. We have not been away together since we have been together 2 years ago. And have only done dinner alone just the two of us twice. Someone always wants to come along and neither of us is able to say "no".

[sbayhylle]

When DH is home we have the same issues. Watching too to see what everyone else says. I HATE morning sex! Always have, the last thing I want to start my day is funky breath and musty smelling bodies. HUGE turn off for me. I have suggested to DH that when he returns we get the ball rolling around 9p. Not very spontaneous I know, but I'm hoping this will work out, we will see.

[ManofHerdreams]

I'm married to a woman who is either too tired or not feeling well 99% of the time. It's mostly because of her meds but it's still a major barrier for us. If she is feeling good then she's too tired and if she isn't too tired then she isn't feeling good.

Needless to say our sex life is almost non existent. I do my best to deal with it but sometimes it really beats me down and I start to think that it's useless to even think about sex with her. She's told me herself that sex is usually the last thing on her mind and that it's just not that important to her anymore and I would have rather she just stabbed me in the heart than to hear that.

Make the best of it while you can because we are living proof that it can get worse!!!!!!!!!!

Man

[zakdad]

We know all about not having the time for sex, but we usally take an afternoon or two to have sex. Sometimes it is at night, but most of the time it is in the afternoon. We have a shop by our house that I work in and we have a futon here. So, we try to sneak up here and lock all the doors and have a good time.

As we have two teeneagers and live in a log cabin, we have almost zero privacy except for the shop most of the time. We do plan things sometimes, but we also try to get away as often as we can to have a night or two alone.

I agree with Iha that planned sex can be good if one of you plan it with the others knowledge. One of us will have everything planned out and the other just enjoys what the other has planned. It doesn't have to be an exact time, just the day and what part of the day. We work around each other on the timing!

Best of luck to all of you that are having these problems and hope you get things straightened out to where you can have a fulfilling sex life! It works for us, but taking a weekend when we can just get away is always the best! Then there are no timetables to deal with! Just staying naked and getting it as much as we can!!!

Peace,

Mark

[hollyluvsjeff]

My hubby got hired at a factory about 7 months ago and hes been sleep walking every since! He went from sitting in an airconditioned callcenter 40 hrs a week to sweating his balls off in a hot smelly factory for 60 hours plus a commute. And Im a student who is currently on summer vacation . It took me a bit to get over the myth that guys are always ready for sex no matter what.

Now I make it all about him during the week, with bjs and handjobs, and on the weekends its marathon time. Before he would kinda push me away because he was too tired too perform. Now that the pressures totally off him and he can just relax and enjoy after wrk, ive found we've been having more quickies during the week.

So my advice is to go out of your way for the person who is tired, itll make them want to return the favor