First Time

[newvixen]

I have recently become involved in a relationship with someone. he has alot more experience than I do. From the very beginning he has made it known to me that he's very into my ass. I wasn't suprised when he brought up the topic of anal sex. I really care for him and trust him so I agreed. The experience was not what I expected. After talking to several of my friends I was prepared for an unpleasant time. However it was absolutely incredible!!!!! Now I'm alittle concerned though. I Loved it and it seems to be all I can think about. I enjoy being with him in every way. He's really brought out my inner goddess, but is it normal to be this into anal sex after just one time?

[Mikayla1]

Welcome to the world of Anal Sex! It is a wonderful place to be! It sounds like your lover took his time, was gentle and gave you a wonderful experience! This is great! Thanks for sharing. Now maybe other women won't be so afraid to try it!

Mikayla

[newvixen]

I think it's a real shame that things like this aren't discussed more openly. I am so happy I stumbled onto this forum. When I tried to talk about anal sex with some of my friends they all were very negative and some were quite shocked. All I can say is I feel so sad for them. They sure don't know what they are missing.

[Mikayla1]

RIGHT ON! However, you can educate them, you can tell them how great it is, you can be the one to get THEM to not be sticks-in-the-mud and prudes about their sex life!

And, if they still think "ick, gross, ewwwww" - then oh well, they have no idea what they are missing and the rest of their sex life probably sucks as well!

I say be your own advocate...and screw anyone who doesn't like what you do in your own bedroom, as long as what you are doing is legal and consensual.....!

Mikayla

[sexynshyrissa]

I like you loved anal too bad I can't get my man to give me too much of it becasue he can't cum as quick as he would like....

[Mikayla1]

I am equally as confused as Howard....can't cum as quick? My hb cums doubly quick when we have anal - due to the tighter nature of the anal canal combined with the "taboo" of it - although I don't know how "taboo" something can be when you do it about once a week or so!

I suggest you talk to him and find out why he REALLY doesn't want to have anal sex and then work through the issues. Howard is right, there are many reasons why some men don't want to have anal. Cleanliness or "smell" are the biggest reasons. You can easily work through those - wear condoms, enemas, eat lighter....etc.

Talk it out, figure it out - work on getting what pleasures you.

Mikayla

[sexykitty]

glad you enjoyed your first time so much that it has you wanting more.....cause it was done right thats the way it should be and there is no reason to feel thats its wrong at all.....like with regular sex if its not done right and you dont enjoy it it really sets your frame of mind for future times and may even turn some against it and they will never do it again.....i too wasnt really into the idea of having anal sex but my man wanted to so bad and wanted me to just try it once.....i thought no matter what it was going to hurt like hell.....but to my surprise,,,,,i loved loved lovved it.....its sad that more weomen dont open up to the idea and at least try it one time so they know where of they speak if they ever offer advice on the subject.....its just set in so many minds that is wrong and it will hurt etc....i couldnt talk to any of my friends when i was considering doing it for the first time....my friends that are open enough to talk about sex think like so many that its just wrong and never did it never will......im still trying to change those negative thoughts.....a few of them have come to this site and i hope its helping them to open up to the thought and maybe try it someday....

[sexykitty]

well thanks for your kind words Howard...i am trying to turn more and more of my friends on to this site....im glad i found it...and stayed....youre right the more people the more comments the better the reading....but as you know it seems that the same people only post....i feel im starting to become one of them...lol....its not a bad thing....as i said another time look forward to all the regualrs....but would like the newbies to open up and share some thoughts. or what have you.....

I was also surprised after reading posts on anal sex that so many other women are into it and really enjoy it....glad to know im not alone.....and Howard more men should be like you towards sex....and women.....youre right that alot of men are jerks when it comes to sex....

[sexynshyrissa]

1. They think only gay men want to do anal, and resist the possible association( homophobia) ; 2. They get physically ill at even the thought of getting feces on any part of them, and the thought of having to clean it off their cock is a huge turn-off; and 3. they have this old training in their heads that sex is for procreation only, and doing anal is not only bad, but sinful! I know of men who lose their erections trying to do anal, no matter how much foreplay occurs, or how much their lover wants their cock in her ass!

The thing is he won't talk to me I think it is the first one or the second one or alittle of botho f those..... but Its just soo annoying he won't talk about sex no matter what I'm very unsatisfied right now I used to be a lesbian and convinced myself I was straight because I couldn't get a girlfriend. Well now I'm married and he convinced me to tell him about this "friend" of mine Dani....well she was my ex-girl friend and so yeah...I've realized I wasn't as straight as I thought I was...However I love my man dearly and just wish he would at least try to help me be satisfied so my sex life doesn't have to suck for me to stay with a man I love. The other thing he won't do is oral...Any suggestions on getting him to do that?

[Mikayla1]

Oh honey....there is not such thing as "I used to be a lesbian" - there is only homosexual and bi-sexual. If you were bi-curious - meaning you never really got into women, that is one thing, but if you had sex with women, liked it - then you are one of the above mentioned - trust me, I know! You can't just switch off the attraction. It sounds to me like you may be a little confused. You were attracted to women - you couldn't get a g/f - so you got married. Now your marriage isn't working out so well and you are thinking about women again.

I am not saying that it isn't OK to have feelings for women - fantasies and such - but are you sure you aren't more lesbian than heterosexual? You say you love your man, and that is great, but if you are unsatisfied that is not so great.

I have found that honesty is the best policy. I think you need to tell him what you want and expect from him sexually. It is important that he know. I also think that women who have partners who won't do oral on them should stop doing oral on them! No oral sex for me = no cock sucking for you! Why should we go without and our men keep getting theirs? That is absolutely ridiculous!

Now, the anal sex thing may take a little more time for him to adjust to. I know most people think that all men are all over it, but they really aren't. Some men do have those phobias that Howard mentions. Talk to him, try to ease his anxieties. Research it on the net - google anal sex - and a whole bunch of articles on heterosexual anal sex will pop up (if you phrase it right). Tell him he can wear a condom if he is afraid of the "residue." There are ways to get around it.

If you truly love him and want to stay with him, find ways to improve your sex life and make it better for both of you.

Good luck and have this conversation sooner rather than later!

Mikayla

[sexynshyrissa]

Mikayla, its not that I used to be a lesbian its that I used to think I was fully a lesbian and realize now obiviously that I was bisexual. I know I'm more a lesbian than anything but I want to make my marriage work for now. I can't just give up not a year into it, ya know. Plus my values won't allow it. I'm working on having this conversation everytime I do he feels inferior because he can never be a woman so he will never fully satisfy me.

So honestly I dunno what to do the most fun sex of my life was with a woman but I don't dare tell him that..

[Mikayla1]

I really don't know what to tell you because I believe that honesty in a marriage is a PRIORITY and you are not being honest with yourself or your hb! If you feel you are more lesbian than even b-sexual AND you feel that he will never be able to satisfy you because he isn't a woman - then there are issues there that will never go away unless he sprouts tits and gets his penis turned into a pussy! I don't mean to be rude, but that is the reality of the situation, is it not?

I am a woman who loved, loved, loved her lesbian experiences! I loved everything about them. However, I knew that I preferred a man for my life partner. I do not have regrets, I do not look at my marriage as a "just good for now" type thing. Therefore, it works for me. If you are just waking up every day unhappy because your husband is not fullfilling your needs, and most of those needs require him to be a woman, then you have big issues!

Also, you might need to be honest about him and tell him you did have the best sex with a woman - why hide it? maybe he will ask how he can do what she did? My hb asked me all about my experiences and it led to our discussion about oral sex and now he is the best at oral sex as anyone I have been with - but it didn't start out that way.

Try being honest hon, with yourself and your hb!

Good Luck!

Mikayla

[sexxxikittie]

Not to distract from the train of thought that has been going on in this post, as I believe that it is still important (communication and honesty are priorities), but back to the starting point of the anal route I go.

I had given anal sex an all too brief thought years ago. I was actually put off when I suggested it to my bf at the time - he jumped out of bed and got a jar of vaseline all too quickly for me. Not even a discussion about how to do it - he just jumped out of bed and was way to ready to go for it. He scared me right out of that thought for years.

It wasn't until recently when I was discussing it with another man and the experiences that he has had that I decided to check it out again. This time however, I decided to try things by myself to see if I could handle the experience. I found that I did enjoy it and I have explored it more solo - I want to be prepared for when I chose to share this.

The most important thing that I can say from my point of view is COMMUNICATION helps to bridge the worries, hesitation and fears that go with it.

It was open communication without the sexual situation that helped me. The whole topic was outside of any physical contact. The trial and error (should I say no error), was all on me finding out how it felt, what I like and what I can handle, since I already know that the person that I discussed it with has had more sexual experiences than I have. Yes, I have always loved sex and it was always the more "conventional" kind. Talk has opened me up to more of what I want and would be willing to try.

So by all means, COMMUNICATION is the best way to get any sexual exploration initiated. Unfortunately my friends are all pretty tight-lipped about sex and as for family well... forget it. So here I am to learn and share also. By my own "old" standards I have found that I am more "kinky" than my life leads one to believe. From being here, however, I have found that I am not alone in my desires, interests and experiences.

Kudos to all that have opened up here and thank you too. And for anyone that reads, keep reading and hopefully you will open up sometime too.

Take care with all that you do and by all means enjoy!

[thegoofyweirdo]

I had a real quick question on the topic of anal sex...is it bad AT ALL to cum inside of my gf? I am just scared i am going to screw something up with her body or something. hehe it just doesnt seem like it would be safe...

[ladypc]

Only if you have a sexually transmitted disease. Cum is mostly water, and some proteins, nd a few other chemicals, with which the rectum and colon are more than adequate to handle. The material is passed out of the rectum , and usually fairly quickly as soon as she goes upright, and relaxes the sphincter muscles. Always do your lover the honor and respect to ask her if she wants you to cum in her rectum before doing it. Most women find that the tightness of the rectum gives them more intense orgasms as a result of feeling their lovers cum inside them, but you should let it be her decision, and respect her wishes. It is also nice to be prepared to deal with a little mess after anal intercourse by having towels or washcloths nearby, and perhaps tissues to help clean both of you up. I know several people who prefer to do anal in the bathtub or shower just so they can clean up quickly and easily while touching and massaging each other so that they can continue the lovemaking doing other things in the bed, or on the bathroom rug.

Always use lots of lubricant, go slow, and listen to your lover. When she calls the shots, it is both exciting, and mutually beneficial. The first time I had anal sex, my lover told me to hold very still as she was quickly climbing to her climax. When she came, her PC muscles squeezed me so hard I thought my eyeballs were going to pop out of my head. I lost control just as soon as she relaxed enough for me to still feel my cock, and I came. She told me afterwards I came so hard in her ass she thought HER eyeballs were going to pop out of her head! She asked me to stay inside of her ass, while we hugged and kissed and regained our breath. She told me how great anal sex was, and so much better than she thought it would be. Finally when my erection subsided, I slowly slipped out of her ass, and she yelled at how cold her ass felt without me in it. She went to the bathroom and sat on the throne to clean herself up. I followed and cleaned up with soap and water at the sink. When I finished, she reached over, grabbed my semi-hard on, and pulled me over so she could suck my cock to another erection. We stopped only long enough for us to return to the bed, where we had regular sexual intercourse together. I asked her if her ass was sore, and she simply described as not exactly sore, but a little tender. She wanted to try anal sex again, but preferred to wait a day or so, just to be sure. We had fun doing other things. That was many years ago, and while we are no longer dating, she has told me that she still enjoys anal sex as part of her love making with her current husband.

i just needed to add alittle

as u all know i not been on much do to a heart accack beack in June

but i been on and off the site

just need to add some talk on the chat

my hubby ask me as we was younger to try the ass

omg it hurt never did it againe

as we got older and learn new thing and heard and read more ingo it got fun

he can home one nit after dinner and shower we whent to bed

he was injoing getting doen on me as damn i was thinking it can't get any better than this he is damn good at it all ways was

then for some reasone his finger slpied in to my ass

wooooooooooohooooooooooooooo what a felling.

after that i told him fuck me in the ass. let try this againe and tack it easy

now this what i like the most it fells so good .

now if i can get him to have more sex with me .

after the heart attack i might of had fast sex mayebe 5 times

i think he is afraied of hurting me . any way Anual is Great

Only if you have a sexually transmitted disease. Cum is mostly water, and some proteins, nd a few other chemicals, with which the rectum and colon are more than adequate to handle. The material is passed out of the rectum , and usually fairly quickly as soon as she goes upright, and relaxes the sphincter muscles. Always do your lover the honor and respect to ask her if she wants you to cum in her rectum before doing it. Most women find that the tightness of the rectum gives them more intense orgasms as a result of feeling their lovers cum inside them, but you should let it be her decision, and respect her wishes. It is also nice to be prepared to deal with a little mess after anal intercourse by having towels or washcloths nearby, and perhaps tissues to help clean both of you up. I know several people who prefer to do anal in the bathtub or shower just so they can clean up quickly and easily while touching and massaging each other so that they can continue the lovemaking doing other things in the bed, or on the bathroom rug.

Always use lots of lubricant, go slow, and listen to your lover. When she calls the shots, it is both exciting, and mutually beneficial. The first time I had anal sex, my lover told me to hold very still as she was quickly climbing to her climax. When she came, her PC muscles squeezed me so hard I thought my eyeballs were going to pop out of my head. I lost control just as soon as she relaxed enough for me to still feel my cock, and I came. She told me afterwards I came so hard in her ass she thought HER eyeballs were going to pop out of her head! She asked me to stay inside of her ass, while we hugged and kissed and regained our breath. She told me how great anal sex was, and so much better than she thought it would be. Finally when my erection subsided, I slowly slipped out of her ass, and she yelled at how cold her ass felt without me in it. She went to the bathroom and sat on the throne to clean herself up. I followed and cleaned up with soap and water at the sink. When I finished, she reached over, grabbed my semi-hard on, and pulled me over so she could suck my cock to another erection. We stopped only long enough for us to return to the bed, where we had regular sexual intercourse together. I asked her if her ass was sore, and she simply described as not exactly sore, but a little tender. She wanted to try anal sex again, but preferred to wait a day or so, just to be sure. We had fun doing other things. That was many years ago, and while we are no longer dating, she has told me that she still enjoys anal sex as part of her love making with her current husband.

i just needed to add alittle

as u all know i not been on much do to a heart accack beack in June

but i been on and off the site

just need to add some talk on the chat

my hubby ask me as we was younger to try the ass

omg it hurt never did it againe

as we got older and learn new thing and heard and read more ingo it got fun

he can home one nit after dinner and shower we whent to bed

he was injoing getting down on me and damn i was thinking it can't get any better than this he is damn good at it ,all ways was.

then for some reasone his finger sliped in to my ass

wooooooooooohooooooooooooooo what a felling.

after that i told him fuck me in the ass. let try this againe and tack it easy

now this what i like the most it fells so good .

now if i can get him to have more sex with me .

after the heart attack i might of had fast sex mayebe 5 times

i think he is afraied of hurting me . any way Anual is Great